Just wondering...

[myinnerslut]

how did everyone get involved with BDSM? have you always known that you were submissive or dominant, or did you learn about it as an adult?

 

[lne_iii]

how did everyone get involved with BDSM? have you always known that you were submissive or dominant, or did you learn about it as an adult?

I've spent almost 10 years looking at internet porn, stumbled upon BDSM porn...which just kinda clicked in my head...it was like "whoa! That's what I'm talkin about!" kinda thing.

Then I started researching, reading..."studying"...
Took me a long time to admit my kink though, and longer to actually start practicing it.

Now they can't stop me.

LNE

 

[SweetCherry]

Well, I always just was, even tho I didn't know what the word was to describe it. Even before I knew people got off on it, I knew I liked pain, liked to be restrained and "taken". It just worked for me.

 

[Bandit58]

I've always had a submissive nature and since I was very young had fantasies of being tied up and controlled, however no opportunity to experiment until I met Master online in 2002. I have finally found somewhere I fit in and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I made the mistake of marrying a domineering man rather than a Dominant. No matter how hard I tried to please him somehow it wasn't good enough. I went through years of emotional abuse which ended when I left the marriage 4 years ago. Master and I met a few months later, here on Lit in fact We chatted about BDSM and I expressed a desire to learn......the rest is history, we have been living together for 2 1/2 years and will be getting married in December

 

[LunarKitten]

how did everyone get involved with BDSM? have you always known that you were submissive or dominant, or did you learn about it as an adult?

A friend of mine from a ghost story/folk lore site introduced me to it, after confessing that she was a slave, when I was in my mid to late twenties. I looked at some of the sites she sent me to and the submissive listings were just like a magnet. I thought the slave part of it was going a bit far and that it was something I could never ever get into....until I met my Master a little over two years ago

 

[Etoile]

I had a very specific initiation, I think. I'd been a bottom for a while and been used as the prop in some demonstrations but not really gotten into it myself. Then I was separated from my wife for a while, and I was again the bottom in a private demonstration my Daddy was giving. I had asked for the scene not to go past a certain point, but Daddy whispered in my ear "I know you didn't want this but I'm going to do it anyway" and I just melted. Both Daddy and the audience were already friends of mine, so I was in a safe environment - otherwise it would have been very violating. That was a little over six years ago, and in the words of the Dead - "what a long strange trip it's been."

 

[E's Toy]

I've always had a submissive nature and since I was very young had fantasies of being tied up and controlled, however no opportunity to experiment until I met Master online in 2002. I have finally found somewhere I fit in and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I made the mistake of marrying a domineering man rather than a Dominant. No matter how hard I tried to please him somehow it wasn't good enough. I went through years of emotional abuse which ended when I left the marriage 4 years ago. Master and I met a few months later, here on Lit in fact We chatted about BDSM and I expressed a desire to learn......the rest is history, we have been living together for 2 1/2 years and will be getting married in December

That's a wonderfull story.....thansk for sharing....

 

[AmazingGrace69]

Sub

I have always known I was a sub....Love to be dominated sexually

 

[nytemist]

I had no idea. I'd never really thought of myself as being submissive at all until I started dating a girl who was submissive. I was always a little intrigued by bdsm but hadn't thought about it much and had no experience at all before meeting her, and she'd tell me ways she liked to be dominated, etc. And I enjoyed it, but found myself really wanting to be in her position and to be the submissive one. And the thought hasn't gone away since.

Since then I haven't actually gotten to explore or experience it for myself yet (though I hope to), but in the the meantime I've been doing a lot of reading, trying to learn as much I can, which is how I stumbled upon this site.

We only dated for a few months, but I often wonder what she'd think if she knew what she started and if she knew I've been a curious sub ever since. I figure she'd probably laugh and think it was awesome, haha.

 

[O'Mac]

I swear to heaven, I've already talked to one girl convinced she was pegged as a sexual submissive at the age of 4. 4 years old! Fuck right off with that. What's next, figuring out your orientation whilst in the womb? Gimme a break.

As for me, I got interested in the Dominant aspects of the lifestyle about five years ago. Starting actually practising with a partner about two years ago now.

Haven't looked back since.

 

[myinnerslut]

i can say ive had definite submissive and masochistic characteristics since i was very young... mabye six. (i think that people learn that they are masochists before they learn they are submissives, in cases where they are both) it wasnt sexual though until my mid-teens, when i realised that BDSM was something that other people were doing too and i wasnt just "sick" or "crazy"

 

[catalina_francisco]

As offensive as it seems to some, I also was well into submissive and masochistic desires at a very early age...before school age. Living in a sheltered environment coupled with being a small solitary type child I had no idea what it was called, that it even had a name, or that I was not alone, but that didn't stop me from making my own fun in an effort to quell the urges deep inside. Nightime in my room after everyone else was asleep was my time to play...only got caught once from memory and being creative I just played dumb and pretended I had been asleep and must have mysteriously gotten undressed and used my PJ's for self bondage totally without any knowledge on my conscious part.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

I had this discustion with some one else once. While I personally don't believe that you are born one way or the other, I do believe my parents...trained me, for lack of a better word, to be submissive. Tho I didn't know what BDSM was, through out my live I worked hard to please the man in my life at the time. It made me happy to make him happy. While I was married, I pampered him, and gave him control over every thing from the bills to aproving my clothing. Unfortunitly he didn't want this responcibility and eventually it tore us apart. About when it started getting rough for us I met some one who owned a ren shop and started selling costumes there. He is a leather worker and in the back of the shop worked on "medival marital aids". The next person I met thru that shop was a guy who worked in a BDSM house training subs (this was the first time in my life that BDSM was explained to me and well it perked my intrest. Through out my marriage I loved being tied up and towards the end we dabbled in a bit of spanking and the one night he tore my pantyhose right off of me...well...*purr*). And finally a female slave entered the group. I've learned a lot from her and it was a combination of her and the second guy that introduced me to blade play and my first pain session. A couple weeks after meeting them, I met my Sir. I was still very raw from the way my marriage ended and was not looking for a relationship at all, and was insistant that while I may enjoy certain things I was no sub! Amazing how you find things when you aren't looking for them. Anyway, we chatted about different things, BDSM and other wize. Eventually I noticed that I started planing my day around what time he was on line. Neither one of us had ever been in a relationship the stemed from an online incounter, let alone an international one. And I'd only ever had one serious relationship, and honestly after some of the shit that my ex did at the end, I was afraid of a BDSM one. Infact I remember the conversation where I told my Sir that I would never submit to some one like I did my ex. Watch them never words , for it was almost 2 weeks to the day that I submitted to him, fully and happily. Everyday brings us a little bit closer to when we can finally be together in person and tho life has thrown us a curve ball or two, I never loose faith that it will happen. "All good things in time", as he says.

 

[DE34Bill]

Interesting

Good question, I have the same questionin Little Lower Delaware, somwhat submissive but Dominant feelings also thanks

 

[KinkyRascal]

First love...

My first true love intimated that she was interested in being "tied up and taken." That was all it took. I'd known for some time that I was interested in that kind of sexual play but didn't really know about BDSM until that relationship fired the interest more fully.

When I began to think about it, however, I realized that even in elementary school I took particular delight in tying up an older (13?) beautiful blonde neighbor who was a sister of my best friend and used to play the role of a "captured nurse" whenever we played army in the woods. Clearly also the source of my still unrealized fantasy to strip and tie a naked woman and take her in the woods!

I'd honestly completely forgotten about it until that first real sexual relationship many years later. Certainly as such a young kid I knew there were "weird" (but pleasant!) feelings associated with what I was doing but was too young to realize it was anything sexual let alone BDSM.

 

[myinnerslut]

kids games

When I began to think about it, however, I realized that even in elementary school I took particular delight in tying up an older (13?) beautiful blonde neighbor who was a sister of my best friend and used to play the role of a "captured nurse" whenever we played army in the woods.

lol

i used to be the "slave princess" when my brother, cousins, and i pretended to be in a castle full of knights. even then i knew i liked being tied up...

 

[Mr_Z_01]

How I learned....

I was in my early 50's when I first learned that I needed to take responsibility for others. I met a lady here at lit that was looking for a dominant male. Out of curiosity I wrote to her. Two and one half years latter, I had helped teach her what she wanted to discover and she had taught me just how much love can be exchanged between a Dom and his sub. I wouldn’t trade for the experience. She has grown prouder and more confident and has since moved on to live her life with a Dom she met in her home town (we were in different states) and I now find myself needing another woman to satisfy. I say satisfy. Don’t get me wrong a D/s relationship can’t be one sided. Yes, I get off on helping to satisfy another…but in exchange, I too find satisfaction in a relationship where my sub is as dedicated to my pleasure as I am to hers.