Just some Humour for the board!

Bonnie Wee Lassie

Sweet Beaver
Joined
Dec 13, 1999
Posts
1,442
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to
create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people do.
(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight
and always falls over on its right side when
intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, ask
them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine that?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to
death.
(Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the....)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, geez That's almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is.............Lucky Pigs...
 
Bonnie, I agree with ya on that one I want to be a pig too.

Where do folks find this kind of stuff......
 
were did you get your facts from????? ahh what the hell who gives a fuck were they came from,,,lets all try and imagine a 30 minnute orgasm....wow that was fucking great...I want to be a pig please god make me into a pig please please please please please please please please please please please please
 
Since pigs have corkscrew-shaped penises, it probably takes thirty minutes just to ejaculate (kind of picture Woody Allen trying to jump out if he had to follow a spiral).

With my luck, if I was a pig I would have a left-hand thread to my penis in a pasture of right-hand threaded sows.

Maybe Porky Pig wasn't always stuttering, maybe he was just cumming all the time and we didn't know it.
 
ROFLMFAO

that's fuckin' hilarious!!!
and who the hell wouldn't want to be a pig after reading that?!?
 
Good to the last drop.

Bonnie Wee Lassie said:
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Geeze, Siren must love HOT coffee!!LOL
 
Ahem. Spam alert.

I saw this in my email -- from six different people -- about two months ago. I, too, thought it funny; the first time I read it.

Is it really necessary to post it here? Why not leave it as email spam, where it belongs?
 
Bonnie Wee Lassie said:

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity)


Doesn't it strike you as odd, that while a lion may mate 50 times in one day, not one is for pleasure? damn pigs...
 
So Bonnie Wee Lassie? You not Scottish then? Even with the sign on name? So if you come over here, will you.....?

Great post, loved it. :*

MM
 
Don't forget...

Elephant's have penises nearly a yard long, on average. Sex lasts up to several hours.

Hippos have lazy underwater sex which can last, during the hot season, for up to 2 DAYS!

Is there any way to cross-breed all of these animals? (Not forgetting the pig, obviously)

One more question: does this mean that guys should stop being so offended when they get called pigs?
 
Bonnie, LMAO and I want to be a pig too. It is totally cool, where in the world did you find this out funny .
 
THANKS FOR POSTING THIS.....I laughed so hard...can I be a pig too??? pretty soon the world is going to be runned by pigs...oh wait it already is
 
To all you people who want to be pigs, haven't you ever heard of pork chops?
 
Rosebud said:
[QUOTE
yeah...so eat me :D

Will that be fried, BBQ'd, or baked? One should never eat pork raw, but in your case i might make an exception!
 
ski honey you are doing the eating just make sure it is raw when you are done
 
Rosebud said:
ski honey you are doing the eating just make sure it is raw when you are done

Rosebud, I like it hot and fresh! And my tongue is tireless.
 
Well I am glad everyone got a laugh from this. I got it in my email forme one of my mom's friends. Ilaughed and I just had to share it with all of you. As for all of you who want to be pigs I can just see it now when picking your next life. There will now never be a shortage of pigs.
 
Back
Top