Just a Couple Haiku

[JazzManJim]

No, I haven't forgotten about my promised Haiku thread.

Here it is.

I'm going to post a couple or three of mine to get things going. Depending on how it goes, I'll post more. Hell, I'd post a bunch, but if y'all think they stink, it'd not make me feel good, so feh.

Here's the first:

Spring
Three herringbone clouds
Nudged by an afternoon breeze
Rain will fall tonight

 

[JazzManJim]

And another:

Old Zen Master points
This dog has Buddha nature
Then it bit his hand.

 

[Summery]

Thank you for sharing, Jim.
I recall someone who was supposed to read some poetry, *ahem*

 

[JazzManJim]

And a third. I'm not sure whether I like this one or not.

If she were not sad
She would never find her peace
But I hurt for her

 

[JazzManJim]

Another Nature theme.

Strict Haiku snobs say that, along with the traditional syllabic form of 5-7-5 (or 7-13-7), each Haiku should embrace an image of nature.

Haiku revisionists are pushing those ideas in newer directions in the past 10 years or so. They say that a Haiku neither need embrace nature or adhere to a strict meter form.

Their contention is that the Haiku's beauty is in its brevity. A Haiku requires that the writer condense as powerful an image or statement as possible into just a few words, depending on the cooperation of the reader to complete the image. In this, they are much like the Imagist poets like Eliot or Pound (though neither of them tried very much for brevity) or even someone like Dickinson (who strictly wasn't an Imagist, but embraced brevity and incomplete images in favor of allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions inasfar as conclusions were possible).

Their other contention is that a Haiku is most concerned with a powerful image or statement, and that such a thing need not be natural. I'm not sure where I stand on the whole thing, except to say that I don't always use natural themes, though I do try to crate an image with each one. Whether or not I succeed is up to you in the end. I'm not much of a poet, though, so my success isn't going to be great.

But when I use natural images, I prefer those of springtime.

Spring has come today
The tall trees glory in green
I smile with the sun

 

[JazzManJim]

One last one.

Dancing on the beach
Footprints last to each high tide
The sea dances too

 

[JazzManJim]

Thank you for sharing, Jim.
I recall someone who was supposed to read some poetry, *ahem*

My pleasure.


You remember that? Well I'm sure that somone would be delighted whenever you wanted.

 

[Georgia Girl]

If she were not sad
She would never find her peace
But I hurt for her

Beautiful words from a magical man with a heart of pure gold.

Thank you for adding beauty to the night.

Dawn

 

[Bindii]

And a third. I'm not sure whether I like this one or not.

If she were not sad
She would never find her peace
But I hurt for her

I like it.

 

[pipercatt]

Very nice, Jim. I liked them alot. Thank you!

 

[Summery]

And a third. I'm not sure whether I like this one or not.

If she were not sad
She would never find her peace
But I hurt for her

This one touches me.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Isn't it interesting that the one he was not sure he liked is the one we like?

Dawn

 

[CAROSI]

Wonderful Jim... how's this?

My dog craps outside
His stinky poop burns the grass
Please shoot my dog

 

[Wiggles]

One last one.

Dancing on the beach
Footprints last to each high tide
The sea dances too

Thank you for sharing, I like this one the most.

 

[JazzManJim]

Thanks guys.

I hae to say that I really like Haiku far more than any other type of poetry.

There's something compelling to me about an artistic form that requires you to compress and condense and show discipline with your words rather than to run on and on like most of my posts do.

There's something really thrilling in culling through a bunuchof words trying to find just the right one that can say more than merely the word itself and which also fits in the meter scheme. When I can do it successfully, it really makes me feel good.

But, as a caveat, I'm a musician and not at all a poet so these are going to be way below par compared to a true poet like, say the famed Hokusai.

 

[JazzManJim]

Re: Wonderful Jim... how's this?

My dog craps outside
His stinky poop burns the grass
Please shoot my dog

Can I edit?

Brown mounds of feces.
Left by a canine menace.
A gunshot brings joy.

 

[Summery]

My pleasure.


You remember that? Well I'm sure that somone would be delighted whenever you wanted.

I remember everything! lol
Pencil me in for Sunday, around 5ish?

 

[CAROSI]

Re: Re: Wonderful Jim... how's this?

Can I edit?

Brown mounds of feces.
Left by a canine menace.
A gunshot brings joy.

That is Wonderful
I just want him fucking dead
Please kill the bastard

 

[JazzManJim]

Re: Re: Re: Wonderful Jim... how's this?

That is Wonderful
I just want him fucking dead
Please kill the bastard

Your joy brings me joy
Consider perhaps a pound
A Chinese Restaurant?

(Yes I cheated, but the way I talk, "restaurant" has two syllables. Poetry is in the mouth of the speaker, they say.)

 

[JazzManJim]

I remember everything! lol
Pencil me in for Sunday, around 5ish?

Ugh. Sunday is almost always bad, bad, bad.

This week I work until about five, then go to a Choral Rehearsal (we're starting Hell Week) that'll last until around 9 or so. It's going to be a late night.

 

[CAROSI]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Wonderful Jim... how's this?

Your joy brings me joy
Consider perhaps a pound
A Chinese Restaurant?

(Yes I cheated, but the way I talk, "restaurant" has two syllables. Poetry is in the mouth of the speaker, they say.)

Dog Adobo plate
Mighty tastey for dinner
French Fries are extra

 

[CAROSI]

So many to please
I can only do my best
I'll need a napkin.

 

[JazzManJim]

*Bump* 'cause I want to.

 

[cutie pie]

Jim, they are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with us.