jfinn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2002
- Posts
- 593
A friend of mine who writes gay stories recently put together a list that's extremely funny and unfortunately truthful about some of the traps we all can get into when writing erotica. A lot of them are specific for writing about male/male sex (which except on sites like Lit where it's not allowed are often about high school and college kids experiencing first times and/or true love), but a lot of them work for all kinds of porn so I thought I'd share it and also see if anybody could come up with some more that are specific to straight erotica. And don't worry there really isn't anything in this to offend anyone who doesn't read or like gay stories.
Jumping The Shark in Gay Fiction by Nick Archer
There’s a fun website devoted to television called Jump The Shark (http://jumptheshark.com/) They describe their mission as “It’s a moment. A defining moment when you know that your favorite television show has reached it’s peak. That instant that you know from now on…..it’s all downhill. We call that moment Jumping the Shark.”
I’ve spent many hours laughing along with the amusing comments on the message boards. And then I thought to adapt the concept to gay fiction.
Jumping the Shark in Gay Fiction is a story element that is so overused it’s predictable. You can see what’s coming a country mile away. Or it’s a common mistake that amateur writers use. JTS in gay fiction is that moment or plot element that stretches our believability to the limit. Or it’s the story element that is so over-used that it’s a cliché. After that, it’s all downhill….assuming there was a climax in the first place.
Don’t take the list personally; all of us have used at least one of these in our stories.
· The “Personal Ad” Self-Description: “Me? I’m 6’1”, 175 lbs., blond hair, blue eyes, 8” uncut, and I have a 6-pack from doing 3000 sit-ups a day….”
· The Collision: Our hero collides with a potential love interest in a crowded hallway at school or work.
· Location, Location, Location: Stories are always located in sunny California or Florida with sex scenes on the beach. Ever get sand in your crack?
· Oversized Body Parts: Penises seem to gain at least two inches in every story on the Net. Do we really need to know the length, thickness and circumcision status of everyone’s dick?
· Richie Rich: This cliché often accompanies Dead Parents. The Parents die, leaving our Hero with gazillions. Or they have a perfect job what they can take endless time from and still earn millions a year. Or they win the lottery. If the main characters are teenagers, they never seem to have jobs. And how many college students today have the luxury of not working?
· Let’s Sit Around and Talk About Our Feelings: C’mon guys! This isn’t a sensitivity seminar or a conscience-raising session! These are horny, red-blooded guys! They’re only going to do enough talking to get into the other guy’s pants. After they’ve lit a cigarette and are staring at the ceiling, they might get around to talking about their emotions. Maybe.
· The Names-We-Wish-We-Had. Our parents gave us boring names – like David and John – so we’ll give our characters the names we wish our parents had named us. Justin. Tyler. Cody. Brad and Chad. Brice or Bryce. Roland.
· Sports Hero Falls For Geek/Nerd/Outcast: Maybe it’s one of fantasies – we’ve all jacked off with the image of the Sports Hero in our minds. Use the Sports Hero once, to get it out of your system, and then lay this cliché to rest for good.
· Moving is Traumatic: Moving may well be traumatic because it represents a loss of control over our lives (especially for teenagers). But let’s give this overused plot element a rest! Enough already!
· Teenagers Who Speak Like They Are 30: “Do you really deem me diligent because I persisted in my attempts to insert my penis into you? Your compliments are more than necessary, I’m sure." Your words are not untruthful, but they do border on hyperbole.”
· Teenagers Who Speak Like They Are From California: “Like c’mon, duuuuude, I just moved to California. That surfboard is totally rad! Bitchin’ Like, I’m so sure.”
· Superheroes: These are main characters without any flaws. They are perfect in every way. They’re beautiful, rich, intelligent, well hung, and fashionable and have a wonderful sense of humor. They would never get zits or an STD, or file bankruptcy, or lose their temper or – God forbid – fart. Leave the Superheroes for the comic books.
· Smilies: Never, never, never, never use smilies. Your job as an author is to paint a word-picture of your characters, plot and settings. Any interaction between yourself (the writer) and the reader should be done through words, not through icons.
· The Alarm Clock: Please, please don’t start your story with a ringing alarm clock. We all hate to get up in the morning, and everyone hates the sound of the damn thing. Why remind us? A corollary to this is the doorbell.
· Switching Narrators: If you feel the need to describe the thought processes of more than one character, I’ve got two words for you: third person! In third person you can describe the thoughts and feelings of ALL your characters if you are so inclined. What a concept!
· The “Phyllis” Syndrome: A bit of a preface is necessary here especially if you didn’t grow up in the seventies. The Mary Tyler Moore Show had two major spinoffs; Rhoda and Phyllis. Rhoda was successful because Rhoda Morgenstern was a likeable character and she was funny. She was everyone’s favorite next-door neighbor. Phyllis was not successful because the Phyllis character was basically unlikable – selfish, pretentious and boorish. The point is – be very, very careful if you make your main character unlikable.
· Is It Live or Memorex? All good fiction has elements of truth to it. And good autobiographies have elements of fiction to them. But make up your freaking mind! Are you writing fiction or an autobiography? If you’re writing fiction you have permission, no, you MUST stray from the facts. Not only to protect your ass from lawsuits but in order to make it fiction. If you absolutely can’t do it, if it’s too difficult for you to allow yourself to fictionalize your memories, then for God’s sake, label your story an autobiography and get on with it!
Can anybody think of some for the stories we see here?
Jayne
Jumping The Shark in Gay Fiction by Nick Archer
There’s a fun website devoted to television called Jump The Shark (http://jumptheshark.com/) They describe their mission as “It’s a moment. A defining moment when you know that your favorite television show has reached it’s peak. That instant that you know from now on…..it’s all downhill. We call that moment Jumping the Shark.”
I’ve spent many hours laughing along with the amusing comments on the message boards. And then I thought to adapt the concept to gay fiction.
Jumping the Shark in Gay Fiction is a story element that is so overused it’s predictable. You can see what’s coming a country mile away. Or it’s a common mistake that amateur writers use. JTS in gay fiction is that moment or plot element that stretches our believability to the limit. Or it’s the story element that is so over-used that it’s a cliché. After that, it’s all downhill….assuming there was a climax in the first place.
Don’t take the list personally; all of us have used at least one of these in our stories.
· The “Personal Ad” Self-Description: “Me? I’m 6’1”, 175 lbs., blond hair, blue eyes, 8” uncut, and I have a 6-pack from doing 3000 sit-ups a day….”
· The Collision: Our hero collides with a potential love interest in a crowded hallway at school or work.
· Location, Location, Location: Stories are always located in sunny California or Florida with sex scenes on the beach. Ever get sand in your crack?
· Oversized Body Parts: Penises seem to gain at least two inches in every story on the Net. Do we really need to know the length, thickness and circumcision status of everyone’s dick?
· Richie Rich: This cliché often accompanies Dead Parents. The Parents die, leaving our Hero with gazillions. Or they have a perfect job what they can take endless time from and still earn millions a year. Or they win the lottery. If the main characters are teenagers, they never seem to have jobs. And how many college students today have the luxury of not working?
· Let’s Sit Around and Talk About Our Feelings: C’mon guys! This isn’t a sensitivity seminar or a conscience-raising session! These are horny, red-blooded guys! They’re only going to do enough talking to get into the other guy’s pants. After they’ve lit a cigarette and are staring at the ceiling, they might get around to talking about their emotions. Maybe.
· The Names-We-Wish-We-Had. Our parents gave us boring names – like David and John – so we’ll give our characters the names we wish our parents had named us. Justin. Tyler. Cody. Brad and Chad. Brice or Bryce. Roland.
· Sports Hero Falls For Geek/Nerd/Outcast: Maybe it’s one of fantasies – we’ve all jacked off with the image of the Sports Hero in our minds. Use the Sports Hero once, to get it out of your system, and then lay this cliché to rest for good.
· Moving is Traumatic: Moving may well be traumatic because it represents a loss of control over our lives (especially for teenagers). But let’s give this overused plot element a rest! Enough already!
· Teenagers Who Speak Like They Are 30: “Do you really deem me diligent because I persisted in my attempts to insert my penis into you? Your compliments are more than necessary, I’m sure." Your words are not untruthful, but they do border on hyperbole.”
· Teenagers Who Speak Like They Are From California: “Like c’mon, duuuuude, I just moved to California. That surfboard is totally rad! Bitchin’ Like, I’m so sure.”
· Superheroes: These are main characters without any flaws. They are perfect in every way. They’re beautiful, rich, intelligent, well hung, and fashionable and have a wonderful sense of humor. They would never get zits or an STD, or file bankruptcy, or lose their temper or – God forbid – fart. Leave the Superheroes for the comic books.
· Smilies: Never, never, never, never use smilies. Your job as an author is to paint a word-picture of your characters, plot and settings. Any interaction between yourself (the writer) and the reader should be done through words, not through icons.
· The Alarm Clock: Please, please don’t start your story with a ringing alarm clock. We all hate to get up in the morning, and everyone hates the sound of the damn thing. Why remind us? A corollary to this is the doorbell.
· Switching Narrators: If you feel the need to describe the thought processes of more than one character, I’ve got two words for you: third person! In third person you can describe the thoughts and feelings of ALL your characters if you are so inclined. What a concept!
· The “Phyllis” Syndrome: A bit of a preface is necessary here especially if you didn’t grow up in the seventies. The Mary Tyler Moore Show had two major spinoffs; Rhoda and Phyllis. Rhoda was successful because Rhoda Morgenstern was a likeable character and she was funny. She was everyone’s favorite next-door neighbor. Phyllis was not successful because the Phyllis character was basically unlikable – selfish, pretentious and boorish. The point is – be very, very careful if you make your main character unlikable.
· Is It Live or Memorex? All good fiction has elements of truth to it. And good autobiographies have elements of fiction to them. But make up your freaking mind! Are you writing fiction or an autobiography? If you’re writing fiction you have permission, no, you MUST stray from the facts. Not only to protect your ass from lawsuits but in order to make it fiction. If you absolutely can’t do it, if it’s too difficult for you to allow yourself to fictionalize your memories, then for God’s sake, label your story an autobiography and get on with it!
Can anybody think of some for the stories we see here?
Jayne
