Joker 2.0

[Aussie_Wolf]

Jeremy was bored. Hell life was boring. He had grown up with wealth and privilege but he had always been told never to ask where their family had gotten their money from. It was either a large lottery win or some big windfall on the stock exchange. That had stopped working by the time he turned 6. Jeremy was no fool, in fact he was a genius, a fact he took great pains to hide. It was amazing what people would talk about around a cute little kid when they thought he couldn't understand.

In this way he found out all sorts of little secrets, like the fact his father was fucking both the maid and the next door neighbors wife. His mother was no better. She was getting it from the chauffeur, the butler, her tennis coach and the next door neighbor. He also found out the combination to his fathers safe and his computer and had soon hacked his bank details. It was quite easy to set up a small little trust fund for himself.

At 12 his parents decided he was beginning to grow up too much and he might actually learn about their secrets. Hell he knew more about their private lives than they did. He knew that his mother had had to have five abortions and his father had 3 illegitimate children that even he didn't know about. Still his parents had sent him off to boarding school.

What a fun place that had been. His first week there he had been bullied by the older kids and had his head flushed down a toilet. he had never really been a physical type of guy but he now saw a use for it. He began to practice yoga, do some light running and basic fitness. Of course he had also had his revenge. The group who had picked on him all came down with a mysterious illness that had them running to the toilet for the next three days. After that no one picked on him again.

For the next 5 years Jeremy floated through school. He did enough work to pass and that was it while he indulged his hobbies. He learned magic tricks, studied chemistry, watched hours and hours of classic cult comedies, learned botany, studied criminals, studied crime fighters, became a contortionist, learned to make explosives. Whatever he wanted he did, and it all came so easy to him.

Just before he graduated he broke into the deans office and erased all records of him having ever attended the school and then burnt the administration building to the ground. He was laughing as he drove away in the french teachers new Porsche he had just bought to impress the ladies.

For the next 4 years he had traveled the world, robbing some of the most high profile places and taking some of the most precious items known. he was so good that over 95% of his thefts were unknown and his fakes were on display in museums and houses all over the place. The other 5% he had tripped the alarms himself because he had wanted to see their faces.

However he had been in Washington browsing through the classified files of some now defunct Black ops operation when he had come across some interesting information about his family. He was actually related to the one and only Joker of Gotham. He couldn't believe it. Way back in the day his dad had been the Jokers brother's son. Of course Jeremy knew all about the Joker, who didn't. Maybe that explained him and all the money his family seemed to have. He quickly checked the files and found a few more references and made copies and then got on a plane for Gotham.

Four days later he stood in a very run down warehouse. Once it had been a gift wrapping paper distributor. Now it was just an empty shell with most of it's windows broken and a few pieces of broken machinery. Still Jeremy's eyes gleamed as he walked over to one side of the building and casually flipped over a seemingly innocuous looking light switch. He pressed the big red button that was revealed and with a grinding of long disused gears a panel in the wall slid back reveling a one man elevator. Stepping inside he hit the bottom button and it began to move down in a stop start motion.

Finally the door opened again and he stepped out as the lights came on one by one. He whistled as he saw a chemical lab revealed, a stockpile of weapons, an open safe full of cash and jewels, a complete tool workshop and a vehicle hidden under a drop cloth. There was also a small office he walked to and entered that had all the necessaries to live in. A cot, a fridge, a stove and through a small door a toilet and a shower.

However what had his eyes gleaming was a large cupboard. Walking over to it he pulled it open and a boxing glove came flying at him. His years of experience had him ducking out of the way and it hit the other wall of the office with a hard thud, cracking the plaster and leaving a large dent. Hell if that had hit him!! Still looking inside he found purple suits, canes, joy buzzers, whoopee cushions, flower squirters. Oh it was the holy grail. He had brought a whole stack of greasepaint and hair dye and with this Gotham city was going to once again come under the rule of the Joker.

 

[princesssexci]

Batman's lineage died off the moment her grandfather had died. Every other generation was supposed to "take over the throne." so to speak. After all, if EVERY Wayne had been Batman, he would probably cease to exist. Of course, the fact that the vigilante's name was always BatMAN, Alison automatically assumed that she was out of the running, considering the fact that she was not a man the last time she checked.

Oh, she'd known about her heritage. When she was a kid, her dad would tell her stories about his dad but told her in turn that it was stories that no one else could know, her and 'daddies little secret'. There was even a time where she'd dress up as Batman for Halloween every single year until she hit 13 and wanted guys to actually notice her.

Batman after all was considered a myth when she was a kid since he was gone for so long.

In college, she had begun dating the commissioners son Matthew, not Matt but Matthew as he would tell everyone. Everyone always saw her as a good girl. The billionaire's daughter. She did live the American dream.

Now at the age of 21 she stood in the lawyers office with her fiance Matthew as he listed what would be passed onto who from her grandfather and her dad. Her grandfather had died of a heart attack which wasn't a surprise. He was 90, after all. And her dad had recently gotten in an alley. Ironic because her great great great grandfather's parents had been shot in an alley. She expected that she would inherit the Wayne business, all of them and there were many from her dad. The last thing the lawyer read was a key.

"What's the key for?" Matthew asked.

The lawyer shook his head, "That is only for Miss Wayne to know. " He turned to Alison and gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Ms. Wayne." With that, he left.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

For the next few months, Jeremy had studied all the compounds and formula's left behind by the original Joker and then tweaked them a little to better suit his own tastes. He did the same with the weapons, selling off a few of the old pieces and buying some new toys, but a lot of the classics he kept. Well who was he to argue with his Uncles style. It had truly been one of a kind.

Of course he had also gone out and explored all of Gotham. Learning all of it's dingy dark places as well as it's most glitzy and glamorous ones. This was going to be his advantage over his Uncle. He was going to be able to wear Joker as a persona and then blend into the high class elite as Jeremy, whereas old Unc' never had that chance. It would be a riot to see the cops chasing their tails trying to find him while he stood right in front of them.

By the time he was finally ready to make his grand reappearance he had set up several big surprises all over town. He just needed an event that would give him not only enough press, but the right amount of style. He began to comb the papers and listen to the news, hoping to find that one event that just screamed out his name.

 

[princesssexci]

Over the next few months, Alison had gotten into her new companies and there were a lot of companies. The key which had been given to her was for the batcave. It had been locked up and gotten dusty and dried up. It looked more like an attic full of super hero gear.

Of course, Alison had wanted nothing to do with it. There had been no major crimes to speak of that it was pointless to have any kind of vigilante running around. They were having a ball of sorts to welcome the new management, Alison Wayne.

Alison wasn't particularly fond of balls but she'd deal with them. They were boring. Rich people kissing ass to other rich people so that they'd invest in their company. The night of the ball, she was dressed in a long red ball gown. It only had one strap and the rest clung to her fit body.

"You look beautiful." Matthew said as they walked into the ballroom that Wayne Industries had rented out.

She smiled at him and just as presumed, all the rich people started kissing her ass since she was basically the heir to the Wayne throne so to speak.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Finally he hit the jackpot and it was delicious. When he saw it he could not believe it. Wayne industries was having a Gala Ball to introduce their new CEO. He checked out the picture and knew he definitely had to attend this party. God she was a looker. Miss Alison Wayne huh. Hmm maybe kidnapping her would be a fun way of announcing his return. At least he could have some fun with her anyway.

The main reason however was that it was Wayne Industries. Just how many times had Uncle Joker crashed their parties or blown things of theirs up. It was almost like another one of his calling cards. It was just too good to pass up.

He spent the day getting ready. Dyeing his hair a bright green. Putting on the make up then spraying it with a chemical he had invented that stopped it from smudging or coming off. Getting dressed in one of his uncles old suits he had altered to fit him and filling it with several gadgets, and then stepping on board a flying playing card and jetting off to the ballroom.

He arrived at the place,looking down at the entrance as all the limousines pulled up and left and the flashes on the cameras went off like a thousand little suns. He stayed hidden in the shadows above the massive skylight looking down into the ballroom. He checked that his voice distorting microphone was in place and then as Alison walked in he burst through the skylight.

Immediately he started laughing, a laugh he had practiced by watching old police tapes o his uncle until he had it down. He had also programmed the microphone so he sounded just like his Uncle.

"Hello Gotham, I'm Back, did you miss me?" he chuckled as he flew down slowly in front of everyone. He saw a few security guards running towards him and threw little bundles at them that turned into streamers that hit them and rapidly cocooned them. "Sorry boys but Jokers got something to do and you will just cramp his style," he laughed.

He glided over to Alison and winked at her before moving to the center of the room. "Ladies and germs, this town has gone to the dogs. I mean where is the pizazz, where are the headlines anymore. No more Batman running around defeating criminals every night, heck your police force has actually had to work for a living," he laughed. "Still," he said faking sadness, "He got me didn't he, and all those other great villians." He swept his hat off his head and held it over his heart. "Well before he died anyway," he said laughing wildly as he turned circles above their heads on his card.

"And now I am back and there is no Batman. Imagine that. Gotham city and the Joker. Oh we are going to have so much fun," he said again laughing. He swooped down and placed a present on the floor and then two devices on the doors leading out of the ball room. "Okay here is our first game," he said playing up for the film crew that was in attendance. "Those devices I just put on the doors may not look like much, but they have enough explosives to wipe out a city block. Open the doors and poof, bye bye rich people," he said laughing.

Turning to the box he pointed at it. "Oh your going to love this one. It's the old Joker gas, except it's been updated. I won't spoil the surprise but it's effects are hilarious. So let's get to the demands." Flying along slowly he looked at the camera. "I want all of Gotham's jails emptied within 1 hour, I want the national guards armory opened and all weapons lockers unlocked and I want the police to line up in central park."

He stopped and faced the camera pulling a very psychotic face then smiled and laughed." Ahh fooled you. No a billion dollars will do. Now get to it."

 

[princesssexci]

Matthew and Alison paused as the doors slammed shut behind them and a maniacal laugh filled the air. Chills ran down Alison's spine and goosebumps covered her skin as she listened to the sound of the voice, not quite sure where it was coming from.

"Hello Gotham, I'm Back, did you miss me?"

Something told her that not accepting the Bat part of her heritage was going to kick her in the ass. Her eyes widened as he shot what looked like streamers at the security guards which then wrapped around them like rope then swung past her winking. Another set of goosebumps covered her arms.

Matthew pushed her behind him. "Stay back."

"Ladies and germs, this town has gone to the dogs. I mean where is the pizazz, where are the headlines anymore. No more Batman running around defeating criminals every night, heck your police force has actually had to work for a living. Still, he got me didn't he, and all those other great villians. Well before he died anyway," he said laughing wildly as he turned circles above their heads on his card.

And then he went on and on again, repeating that there was no Batman. Fear and something else filled her body, Usually when something life threatening happens, people go through the fight or flight thing. While all the other people were freaking out, while Alison was scared. She didn't run from her challenges, she challenged back.

As he finished his last sentence. She stepped in front of Matt despite his efforts to "protect her" but honestly, if anyone was going to protect her. He would probably wouldn't be her knight in shining armor. "Everyone remain calm. This psycho is just trying to scare us." She turned and stared him. "If he really wanted any of us dead, why hasn't he done so now?"

Okay so she wasn't exactly sure what she was doing but having everyone freaking out was not going to help the situation.

"SHUT UP WAYNE!" Someone yelled and she rolled her eyes as the women began crying about how they hadn't gone to this expensive vacation or that expensive vacation and they'd eventually die.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Jeremy stopped and hovered above the woman who had spoken. So this was the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Well she was much better looking than old Bruce. He looked her up and down and he smiled, and when he smiled he really smiled.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the reason for this little 'ol shindig, Miss Alison Wayne herself. Good Evening Boss lady. Sorry to intrude, but if you want to introduce yourself to high society a Wayne function is always the thing am I right," he said chuckling.

He glided down next to her and gives her the once over. "If your not doing anything later, how about we go and grab some breakfast. I am going to be coming into some serious money, I can make it worth your while," he says laughing hilariously as he zips back up.

"But seriously you do make a good point. If I wanted any of you dead I would have done it by now is what you said right," he asks her. "Well you could be right or I could have just been waiting for the right time and the right audience."

Swooping down Jeremy grabbed a random person, some guy in a fancy tuxedo. "Congratulations contestant number one, you are the first to play Jokers 'Smell you Later'."

Flying down in front of one of the camera crews that had been covering the event he smiles at the camera and holds the guy up. "Tell the nice folks at home your name Victim...uh I mean contestant number one."

"Oh god..M..M..My names Harold."

"Okay Harold here's how we play the game. I am going to let you sniff my flower. If you can guess the fragrance I am going to let you go, it's that easy."

Joker smiled at the camera and then sprayed a puff of fragrance at Harold from a daisy on his lapel. Harold sniffed, and then smiled. "I got it, that's roses."

Joker's smile disappeared and he frowned. "Oh pooh, you guessed it." He put him down and gestured towards the door. "Your free to go. Oh just one more thing though Harold. Why can't a clock see? Because it's always got it's hands in front of it's face."

Joker started to chuckle and so did Harold, then Harold started to laugh, then laugh really loudly then he clutched his chest and fell over dead but he had a large smile on his face. Jeremy continued laughing and then looked at Alison. "I guess the jokes on you Miss Wayne, oh wait no it was on poor Harold," he chuckled. "Let's ask him if he liked it."

He flew over him and looked down. "Hey Harold you lazy bum, get up we have work to do." People looked at him strangely until a shiver went through Harold's body and it suddenly sat up then stood up. "Ladies and gentleman may I present the new and improved Joker gas. Now unless you want the elite of Gotham to be grinning corpses running around the streets I suggest you get that money pronto. You have one hour."

 

[princesssexci]

"Congratulations contestant number one, you are the first to play Jokers 'Smell you Later'."

The new Joker had chosen Harold, her accountant. He did such a good job taking care of all of her financial matters for each Wayne business. Alison hoped to god that the new laughing gas was just that, laughing gas.

Thankfully, Harold had guessed the correct scent of the fragrance in the flower. How lame, roses? He couldn't think of a harder scent to guess. Alson rolled her eyes as the Joker told a joke. As he spoke, she mouthed the punchline.

Ironically, that was one of the first jokes she'd ever learned as a child. Harold began laughing hysterically.In fact, as he laughed himself to death, everyone gasped. You could hear flip phones and smart phones coming out of everyones pocket, calling their accountants, relatives, whomever to get Joker the money.

Another loud scream echoed in the room as Harold got up giving a crazy grin, his eyes were dilated. More dialing and talking over each other. Matthew had already pulled out his checkbook and started walking towards the Joker. "You've got to be kidding me..." she muttered. It was a bit disarming that her fiance was as weak as he was. He wasn't even going to try to fight the psycho.

Alison wasn't that weak minded. She came from a long line of bats. She began writing out her own check and stepped up to the joker, glancing at the now zombified Harold. "You killed my accountant." She said, then handed her check to him but then pulled back. "If you're going to take my money, why don't you answer a joke for me? It's only fair right. I mean, if you're going to make these people laugh themselves to death, why not with something a bit less corny?"

"What do you call an officer that gets high and masturbates on the job?"

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Jeremy had been busy collecting check's and taking cash from all the rich people and had lost sight of Alison until as he reached out for one of the check's it had been pulled away. It had startled him a bit until he followed the arm that held onto it up to the body and then the sexy face. Ah Alison. He should have known. The only one in this whole sticking lot that seemed to have any balls at all. Maybe he should check under that dress just in case.

Of course she had to ruin the moment by bringing up Harold ad then had the audacity to make him answer a joke. Him the clown prince of crime. Of course she asked him a joke that was even cornier than his and he circled his card backwards laughing in glee.

"Really miss Wayne, and you said my joke was corny. Okay just for those that don't get it "You have a High Wanking Officer, although I don't see any of them around at the moment do you?" he asks putting his hand to his forehead and looking all around.

"Still I like your Moxy kiddo.How would you like to forget about the drudgery of everyday life and join up with me? The benefits are great. The monies even better and who can resist this smile," he said as he landed next to her and took her in his arms dancing a few steps of the tango and then dipping her to look deep into her eyes.

Then straightening her up he snatched the check out of her hand and jumped back on his flyer and made his way towards the ceiling. "Maybe some other time my sweet. I have what I came here for tonight. Perhaps we will meet again. Until then hopefully the police don't bust the doors down too quick."

As he zoomed through the skylight he pressed a button and timers appeared on the packages on the doors and the one on the floor. They started to count down from ten as his insane laughter drifted out over the city.

10 seconds later the packages exploded and clouds of confetti, streamers and glitter burst from them. From the package on the floor also rose a large sign with a picture of the Jokers face and a large HA,HA on it.

 

[princesssexci]

"Like I actually need the money." And She was about to tell him to go fuck himself but he must've been able to see where her next sentence was going because he dismissed her as he flew off.

To say Alison was pissed off was an understatement. Not because the joker had taken her money. No, she had plenty of it. It was because as soon as the gift boxes around them popped open, it sprang confetti.

Why was her town full of fucking idiots? To top it off, they all laughed nervously as if they totally missed the punchline. She smacked Matt on the chest and he shrugged. "Come on, Alison how were we supposed to know? Should we have let him turn us into laughing zombies?"

She sighed and rubbed her temple going up to the podium. "I think we've had enough excitement for the evening. The party is over. " she said before storming out, her idiot fiancé following behind her.

When they'd arrived back to the mansion, Matt pulled her close. "Let me make it up to you. Though it's not like you lost everything. You're past the stages of billionaire."

She ignored him and walked to the den area where she kept the key to the bat cave and started for the door."Babe, where are you going?"

"To save this dumbass town." She said not giving him any further explanation aside from,"Don't come looking for me and keep an eye on Wayne industries."

For the next three months Alison Wayne had gone MIA. Though most people assumed that since she was a woman with her new influx of funds she'd gone on vacation in the Bahamas. Instead, she'd been studying every little thing about the joker. Going through every old file. It wasn't the real joker, of course. If so, he'd have been much older, around her grandfathers age. This one was younger closer to her age, maybe a bit older.

She studied everything her grandfather had done, all his techniques. She'd designed a new bat suit more form fitting for her figure.

She was ready to return home and when she did she would definitely be ready to take on the joker.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Jeremy had taken all the money he had gotten and done something his grandpa had never done, he had invested it. A lot of it actually went back into Wayne industries. He wondered how Alison Wayne would react to that, her ransom money was actually back in her companies coffers but was now making him money. It was so funny he laughed every time he thought about it.

The other thing he did was build his own lair. He had studied everything he could about the old fights between Gramp's and Bat's. The thing was Gramp's often had old Bat's on the ropes but his bloody psychosis never let him kill him. He had always wanted to push him over the edge and have old dark and gloomy kill him. It never happened though and he was always spending time in Arkham cooking up his next caper.

Well Jeremy was not going to be doing that. For one thing he was not scared liked his Gramps. He could go out in public and not be recognized so he was going to enjoy the fruits of his labors.

He bought a nice place just out of town situated on a decent parcel of land with wide open spaces and a small wooded area. The house on it could not be called a mansion, not compared to some of the places in Gotham, however it was not an average home either. A large two story place with all the modern conveniences, a large swimming pool, tennis court, huge 8 car garage and stables. He then built a secret underground bunker beneath the garage with an entrance from the stables, the garage itself and one from the woods.

In it was a large computer system, a fully equipped lab, a large armory, a dressing room containing several different suits and his makeup, a roomful of sneaky gadgets he had made and several vehicles. He had based it on a lot of things he had actually seen the Batman use against his Grandpa and he had designed not only counters to them but things very similar to them however putting his very own Joker spin on them.

He hadn't been quiet either. He had pulled off several daring heists in the months he had taken to build the place. He had robbed the Diamond exchange, The Museum of Art and even the Gotham Mint and still no one had stepped up to stop him. He was rather disappointed. He had thought some type of hero would have taken notice but maybe he hadn't thought big enough.

Now though he had all his toys ready and it was time to really announce that he was back. After all what was the point in being a super villain if you didn't have someone to fight against. Donning a lovely Purple tuxedo, white gloves and a purple top hat and with his hair dyed green and his famous makeup on with his voice changer firmly attached, he soared into the air and made his way towards the TV station. He had an announcement to make and what better way to do it than the nightly news.

 

[princesssexci]

Returning home had been tiring. Once she was back in Gotham, she had meetings to attend to and as expected, everyone assumed that she was now a rich billionairess and didn't give a shit. That was her problem, though. Wasn't it? That she cared about her city. Though after her gala, she was finding that her city was full of fearful morons who didn't get a joke with the longest punchline ever.

She'd formed an idea though and would put her plans into motion tonight. She smirked to herself as she stepped into her mansion. Matt was doing late hours at the office. She was incredibly grateful that she'd signed him on as her partner. Though she was pretty certain that was why he'd asked her to marry him.

She just had to get herself into a "wreckless" situation in order to grab his attention. As she headed into the bat cave she flipped the tv on. On every news station, the newscasters had made mention of what they were calling Joker 2.0 robbing banks. Suddenly the camera's swiveled another way, someone in the background screamed and the jokers face appeared on the screen.

"Gotcha..." she mumbled as she grabbed her keys while he spoke. She changed into her new batsuit and pulled the bat masquerade mask over her face and headed out the door to the news station.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fb/dc/3c/fbdc3ccc4379e99b7f34949fb2337a05.jpg

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker (Well while dressed up what else was he supposed to call himself?) landed on top of the Gotham news station and looked around. Smiling he took in the view. He was on top of one of the tallest buildings in town as they needed a clear shot for all their satellite relay dishes and aerials. Holding out his arms he laughed. "Gotham you will soon be mine."

Still laughing he opened the roof door and walked in. Making his way down he passed his first guard and gave him a spray with a little perfume bottle he was holding. The guy immediately fell down and started to snooze although that would soon change.

All the way to the main studio he danced and laughed, spraying anyone he came across until he came to the main control booth and threw in a gas grenade. He waited a minute then walked in to find everyone slumped over but the equipment still working and the news still going. Quickly he told a cheesy joke and the whole booth came alive as they rose up with large grins. "Okay news fans, order of the day. Keep spreading the news until Daddy Joker says to cut." Everyone nodded their head and he left laughing as he placed a bomb on the door, only this time it was real.

Barging into the broadcast area he found the nearest camera and stepped in front of the camera. "Hi Kiddies it's your uncle Joker and I have an announcement to make that just has to be told to everyone. What better way to do that than on the evening news right?" laughing he strode over to the desk and leaned down between the two anchors. He looked at the male one and made a UGH face and sprayed him watching as he slumped down onto the desk, then he looked at the beautiful female presenter and smiled charmingly.

"Good evening my dear," he said taking her hand and kissing it, "Just wait there far a second while I take care of business and then we will discuss some business of our own."

Turning back to the cameras he smiled wide (which for him was wide indeed). "People of Gotham. I am tired of playing alone. It has been months now and I really thought someone would have stepped up to stop me. You know, some one in black, wears a cape, drives really cool stuff, you all know the guy I am talking about right," he chuckled. "Anyway I figured I just haven't been doing anything worthy of his attention so I have really gone all out this time," he began to laugh harder,"Oh you are going to love this," he cackled then stopped suddenly and stared intently at the camera. "Well actually your not."

He held up a small device and twirled it around. Just a plain box with a shiny red button. "You see when I press this button it activates numerous bombs of mine around the city, flooding several city blocks with my new and improved Joker Venom. Wan't to see what it does?" Turning to the beautiful anchor lady he kissed his way up her arm and smiled at her. "Do you?"

He turned to the now slumped male and said, "A man walks into a bar and see's a Horse serving the drinks and says, "Gee buddy why the long face", Joker laughs and the anchor starts to chuckle then sits up with a wide grin plastered on his face and a glassy look in his eye. Without batting an eye Joker pulls out a knife and plunges it into the guys chest. He hears screams but just continues laughing even harder as he pulls it out and blood seeps out and then stops. The anchor turns to him then looks back at the camera seemingly unaffected.

"You see folks, he is totally happy and unaffected by that. Yes new Joker Venom makes you immune to disease, sexually transmitted viruses, small wounds, and all thought," he laughed. "Hell you can loose several limbs and still be fine and this is my gift to you Gotham all at the touch of a button."

He held it up and looked at the female Anchor. "Would you like to do the honors?" he asked laughing.

 

[princesssexci]

Batgirl had made it in as quick of time as possible. Pulling up to the Gotham News (Or the GN). Sneaking in through the back way, she managed to pass where a snoozing security guard laid slumped against the wall. "Well, I guess that means I'm getting closer." she mumbled to herself. IF she didn't know any better, she might've thought that Mister J was planting little bread pieces just to be found or maybe he was just careless since he assumed that there was no one around to stop him.

"You see folks, he is totally happy and unaffected by that. Yes new Joker Venom makes you immune to disease, sexually transmitted viruses, small wounds, and all thought," he laughed. "Hell you can loose several limbs and still be fine and this is my gift to you Gotham all at the touch of a button."

She could hear his voice as she tiptoed through the halls. Finally, she found the cameras after many wrong turns and she'd seemed to find it just in time because the female news anchor looked like she was about to press the button.

Pulling one of her bat boomerangs, she knocked the button out of the Joker's hand. It fell on the floor and she stepped out of the shadows. "Turning all of Gotham into clown zombies. That's a bit excessive dontcha think?" She said trying to add an accent to her voice to hide who she really was.

"You wanted a new playmate so here I am." Batgirl shugged her shoulders. "That is what you've been asking for hasn't it? That's the purpose for all these robberies, because you're clearly a bored man with nothing better to do than terrorize a city."

The anchor girl looked positively frightened and why wouldn't she be? Her news anchor partner had just been killed then brought back to life as a psychotic clown.

"Besides," Batgirl continued. "Your jokes aren't that good. I hate to say it but the original joker probably would've made me laugh more than you and he wouldn't have needed venomous laughing gas."

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker watched as the box disappeared into the shadows and then the familiar outline of a caped figure began to emerge from the shadows. However he got a shock when those lines turned into a the sexy figure of a female knockout in skintight kevlar reinforced armor. Oh how had he lucked out and gotten a female Bat's to play with. Forget killing this one, there were so many other things he could do with her.

However to business first, mustn't forget why he was here. Maybe he could just consider this Foreplay.

"You wound me Batsy. Here I finally lure you out of hiding and what do I get, Criticism. And from someone who has never cracked a smile in their entire life." He looked her up and down and then whistled a little. "Have to say I am liking the new look. The brooding chiseled older guy just wasn't doing anything for me, but this," he said moving his hands in the hour glass figure, "Oh very nice, it brings a smile to my face," he said laughing.

Then he quickly grabbed the female anchor and pulled her to him. "No sudden moves now Bat's. I have a flower and I am not afraid to use it," he said caressing his lapel. "Of course the fact that it is filled with highly corrosive acid and might totally ruin our fair maidens Television career should have no bearing on your actions," he chuckled evilly.

"Now as to my earlier message Gotham," he said looking back at the camera's, "Ooop's I lied. Those bombs are on timers and the first one goes off in a little under an hour. So here are my demands." Looking into the camera he smiled wide, "Entertain me."

He looked at Batman and laughed. "No ransoms, no money, nothing. I just want chaos. Oh we are going to have such fun together Batsy. But a clue I guess just to start you off although I hate to pinch a schtick from a fellow villain. What bed do you always get wet in?"

Laughing he threw a couple of smoke bombs and then summoned the guards he had Zombified earlier. As he quickly made his way backstage they broke in through the stage doors and began to attack the camera crew. That should keep Bats busy enough for him to escape.

 

[princesssexci]

"You wound me Batsy. Here I finally lure you out of hiding and what do I get, Criticism. And from someone who has never cracked a smile in their entire life."

Batgirl shook her head. She never cracked a smile. In highschool, she'd always been considered one of the perkiest girls in school. Though, that was ages ago wasn't it? Again, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. She began to step closer to him, pulling out another batarang as she liked to call them, at least to herself.

But paused when he grabbed the female news anchor who shrieked.

"No sudden moves now Bat's. I have a flower and I am not afraid to use it,"

"A new scent for every event, how debonaire of you." She said sarcastically, still gripping the batarang glancing around the building trying to see if there was some loophole to not only protect the news anchor but to catch Mister J as well. Her thoughts were not long lived however.

"Ooop's I lied. Those bombs are on timers and the first one goes off in a little under an hour. So here are my demands." Looking into the camera he smiled wide, "Entertain me."


"What no robbing the rich to fund your crazy plans?" Another sarcastic remark. Because in times of stress who couldn't deal with a little sarcasm.

No ransoms, no money, nothing. I just want chaos. Oh we are going to have such fun together Batsy. But a clue I guess just to start you off although I hate to pinch a schtick from a fellow villain. What bed do you always get wet in?"

She lifted her eyebrow at the joke and then began coughing as smoke bombs filled the room. She covered her nose so as not to ingest any of the gas, unsure of what it was. She couldn't be too careless, of course!

The smoke cleared away revealing that it was just smoke at least she hoped to god it was just smoke. She looked from the left and to the right to see if she could find the Joker but got nothing. "Giod damn it!" She yelled just as the joker zombies began to fill the tv station. "Lady, get out of here!" Batgirl yelled but it was a tad too late for that as one of the joker zombies pulled a needle out filled with something then stabbed the news anchor lady.

She started giggling then covered her mouth then more giggles. "Fuck, fuck double fuck!" Batgirl said and then began trying to make her way out of the sea of clown zombies, some of them laughing and some of them just smiling, some even mumbled over the jokes that the Joker told to start the onslaught of zombies.

This was a distraction, that's all it was. The news anchor woman started giggling again even harder until she too turned into a zombie. She turned to the camera. "And in other news, Batgirl leaves with a big bang!"

And then more giggles which then turned to maniacal laughter.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity god damn it fuck! She silently cursed trying to look for an exit. SHe couldn't focus on the zombies because that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Her grandfather probably would've been distracted by them but she was much smarter than that.

"Guys...guys I have a joke... " she said hoping to stop them. It did but they all had shot syringe's in their hand, probably filled with whatever they'd shot the news anchor woman with. "What's....what's black on the outside but moist on inside? "

All the zombies looked around confused as she quietly slipped back into the shadows finding a backstage hook hanging on a rope and reached for it. She hoisted herself up as soon as they noticed she was nowhere in sight. " Nothing you idiots. Later suckahs. " She yelled still disguising her voice in a false accent before swinging out of recording area of the tv station. "Alright, Allie just gotta find your way out of here and get to the joker before its too late." She mumbled.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker had made his way out of the station and into the shadows. He had studied the ways of the Bat and although he was probably not as good a fighter as he was he was not a wimp as his grandpa had been.

So his Bat was a girl and what a girl. God she was a looker. He had planned to kill the Bat publicly after humiliating him publicly, but maybe he could change his plans. There were worse things than dying and he knew a lot of ways of humiliating people.

He wondered if the Bat's would get his riddle. He really did hate to pinch someone else's thing and to make matter's worse it had been the Riddler's. Uhh he had hated that guy. At least his Uncle had a reason to his madness. The Riddler had actually given away clues to his jobs just because he thought he was smarter than Batman no matter how many times he was caught. After the first few times you think the guy would have figured it out, he wasn't.

Still his had been pretty simple. What bed was always wet? A river bed. And what river was important to Gotham? Why the one that fed into the cities water supply of course. Or maybe it was the one that supplied it with hydro electricity, he couldn't remember. Then again he could have done both, but which one was first? Laughing he faded into the shadows and jumped into a plain car driving away to his main target.

That was the thing, all of this was a big diversion, well not really. He still wanted all the chaos and to see what this Bat's was made of but he was going to take advantage of the situation to do a few other bits of mayhem and maybe pick up a few things.

Waste not want not he always said.

 

[princesssexci]

After narrowly escaping the crazy joker goons, she leaned against the wall on top of the building having climbed up there while the idiots were trying to figure out her riddle. It really was kind of amusing to see them think it over. It hadn't even been a joke. She rolled her eyes as she thought over the Joker's riddle.

What bed was already wet?

She repeated the riddle in her head over and over again. It sounded classic like something she'd heard before. Hitting a button on her side, her cape crinkled up then turned into glider wings and she glided off the roof, landing in an alley.

"I got it! A riverbed." She said outloud then laughed to herself because no one was there, so it wasn't like anyone was around to hear her answer.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker pulled up in front of the Gotham branch of the stock exchange. While not as big as the one in New York or Metropolis, it was still impressive and massive amounts of money flowed through here on a daily basis. Of course it was all digital so any attempts to rob the place was stupid. Well that is what people thought. Laughing as he exited his car, he saw that panic had started to erupt on the streets even here. People were rushing home and the police were out in force preventing wide spread panic.

He casually strolled inside the building and onto the nearly abandoned floor. Only the really hardened traders still remained at their posts, buying and selling stocks as the blinking lights informed them of the prices. Laughing harder he strode in and up to a group.

"Gentleman do I have a deal for you. I happen to know the price of Wayne industry stocks is going to plummet very shortly. I however would like to cash in on this.What are they sitting at now, about $33 a share. Well when they reach bottom I want you to start buying as much as you can for me, and I do mean as much as you can. You will have unlimited funds gentleman so make sure it is done." He started to walk away and then turned around. "Oh where are my manners, here are my account details," he said handing a card to one of the men, "Also you may have seen me on TV a little bit ago, wasn't I fabulous?" he laughed. "The thing is you know what I will do if you cross me gentleman, and then I will find your families and have you kill them," he laughed louder, "Now won't that be fun?"

Laughing he strolled back out of the building and breathed deeply. Well one stop down several more to go. He wondered how ol Batsy was going with his bombs.

 

[princesssexci]

Bombs she had to find the bombs. His riddle had to do with a riverbed. He wouldn't choose the least important rivers around Gotham City, would he? That wouldn't make much sense if he wanted to cause havoc.

Of course like before they could've all been traps to distract her from the real reason he was out and about again.

She pulled out her phone and not her lip nervously. She had 45 minutes left. What was the most important riverbed?

The one that fed water throughout Gotham. Taking a deep breath she got in her bat mobile and made her way to that one.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker careened around people in his car, driving at speeds that were crazy and laughing outrageously all the time. Occasionally he would wind down his window and throw out a Joker gas filled canister just for fun. It was both to cause more chaos, keep the police guessing as to what he was up to and to cause panic. Really what it was mainly for however was fun.

Still he had a job to do and he was on a schedule. He arrived at his next stop, the traffic control center, right next door to Gotham's main police station. He laughed at the irony that they were hunting for him, yet here he was, no more than a hundred yards away from them.

Melting the lock off the back entrance, he made his way inside and into the main control room. One gas bomb later and the place was his. 5 minutes later and after attaching a small green and purple box to the insides of the main computer, he was now in full control of Gotham's traffic network.

Laughing he strolled out of the building and began to make his way towards his next target. It was amazing how many green lights he got on the way.

 

[princesssexci]

Running, she made her way to the electric plant searching and searching. Nothing, she couldn't find a goddamn thing! She figured it would've been here. She sighed and made her way deeper into the plant and suddenly a joker zombie came out of nowhere.

She must've been on the right track because usually when you were on the right track something came up against you. She used to play video games when she was a kid and learned that exact logic whenever she was getting close to where she needed to be.

After somehow managing to dodge the zombies, she found the bomb planted under a computer or so she thought. It was a fake bomb that said, "Try again batsy."

"Damn it!" She yelled and then made her way out of the electric plant and made her way to the water plant where the river was connected. It took her awhile because the traffic lights always seemed to turn red whenever she reached them, even if they'd just been on red and had turned to yellow. They quickly turned red and made her wait at least ten minutes before it would change making the time of arrival around 30 minutes later.

When she got ahold of joker, he was sooo dead.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

God he was having fun. He had made it to his final destination and had been toying with the new Batman ever since she had come out of the electricity plant. Of course that had been a dud, but she should have had some fun with those Joker Zombies he had left to guard it.

Still she appeared to be driving normally, although he was amazed how rule conscious she was. "Unc had told him how nutty the Bats was for sticking to the rules but he just hadn't believed him. Yet here she was, with the city's life on the line, still obeying the lights.

He whooped it up until she made it to the water plant and then placed the remote on the passenger seat of his car and got out wiping away the tears of joy from his eyes. Oh well it was back to business.

Looking up at the large tower of Wayne enterprises he smiled. It was time to really play the joke of the century, one no one would see coming. Strolling into the lobby he rolled a few gas cylinders around, just to take care of security, and then strolled up to the desk as the change began to happen.

"Hello, I am here to see the board members, I heard they were having a meeting. What's that I can go right on up. Why thank you that's very kind. Oh no need to announce me, I like to make a Grand entrance."

Laughing he made his way to the bank of elevators and selected the right floor before waving to the now stumbling people. Checking his appearance in the mirrored surface of the elevators doors he smiled. He had to look his best for what was going to happen next.

 

[princesssexci]

By the time Bat girl got to the water plant she had about 20 minutes left. 20 minutes to save Gotham and get home in time for dinner. Jumping out of the car, her car phone went off. It was probably Matthew. However, she could talk to her fiancé later.

Running into the water plant, she began her search. This was slightly harder than the electrical plant because there weren't a ton of zombies leading her to the exact location. There were two drums that were simple to disarm and it was becoming obvious that things were a little too easy to get past, here.

Apparently it either wasn't there or because he just wanted her to take longer. It could've possibly been both, a diversion that was harder to find. As she stepped deeper into the water plant, she nearly tripped over a string which caused a paper airplane to hit her head. She picked it up when it hit the floor.

' Fly faster, Batsy. Your time is almost up.'

She was getting closer. That was clear by the suggestion of the note. She walked into one of the rooms where a light was turned on and pursed her lips.

She began searching through drawers until Batgirl found a jack in the box that made ticking sounds but an arrow in the drawer said turn here.

She began turning it while it played an old tune, it sounded like the old batman theme that they played on TV . Suddenly the jack in the box which was actually a joker in the box, popped up abruptly and the box kaboomed with confetti everywhere. A little note fell in her hand as the jokers laugh filled the room.

Batgirl opened the note. "Just kidding." She read aloud. "God damn it!"

And then another note fell from the ceiling. 'What's red and white with plenty of green? I don't know but I'm sure an answer will be at Wayne Enterprises.'

Running out of the water plant, she reached her car. She hopped in and drove faster than probably Superman, now ignoring light signals and signs. In a matter of 10 minutes, she'd parked and ran into Wayne enterprises.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

Joker walked out of the elevator and down the hallway to the boardroom of one of the most powerful businesses in America if not the world. Tonight they were holding a secret board meeting to discuss certain things that even the current head of Wayne enterprises Alison did not know about. He however had been able to find out about it through his underground contacts and some well placed bribes through henchmen.

This late at night there was no one in the halls and only one secretary outside waiting for those inside to order coffee or whatever. It was a simple matter to put her to sleep with a small dose of sleeping gas and then he stood before the large doors of the boardroom itself. Smiling he placed two Joker bombs behind the large plants on either side and activated the infra red tripwire beams. Now any one trying to enter or leave would set them off. Of course he was already on the inside of the beams and he smiled wide as he threw open the doors and strolled in.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. It is so good to see the heads of a business working so late at night for once instead of it's workers. I would introduce myself but I am sure I need no introduction and I am sure it also goes without saying that no one is to move or you will all regret it."

He watched as the realization of the situation they were in came over them and they either cowered back in fear or looked at him in anger. He noted who did which.

"Now you may be wondering just why I am here," he continued as he strolled up to the head of the table and the three most important members of the board and gestured for them to stand up. They did so grudgingly and then he shocked them by shaking their hands and hugging them and then he smiled widely. "I would like to report that the job went off without a hitch and no one suspects a thing. You guys are in the clear. Nothing can be linked to Wayne enterprises and especially you three."

He laughed at the blank look on their faces and then strolled back down the table every now and again putting his hands on the back of one of the seated executives chairs and chuckling as they flinched.

"Oh don't worry, I know you have absolutely no idea what that was about, but in about an hour, that footage will be leaked to the internet and I bet it will go viral. It will seem to come from one of your own company's executives phones as well, so it will never be questioned. Considering what is going on right now I wonder what the public will think," he laughed.

"You know you really shouldn't try to mess around in other peoples back yards gentlemen," his voice got hard. "Did you really think I would not find out what you were trying to do here tonight. No wonder you tried to keep Miss Wayne out of the loop. She would never have agreed to this and with good reason. This is my area of expertise, my domain. Big business stays out of this for a reason."

Smiling he looked at his watch and pulled out two cylinders and moved towards the window. "I suggest you all get your affairs in order. Now if you will excuse me, I believe we will be having company in a second."