John's Rustic Romper Room

[LusterMunky]

Sheeesh, I go to dinner and look what I miss!!!

Ain't that the truth! Sneaky mischievous gurls, these are.

 

[Thandi]

Huh!
You created the munky harem!

 

[dutchrain]

Good morning everyone!

I feel kind of audacious today. I think I might take some jumps on the trampoline before I retire in the pool.

 

[LusterMunky]

You created the munky harem!

A Munky Harem! What an inspiration. I'm putting the movie rights up, already taking a lunch with Spielberg.

I feel kind of audacious today.

You are always audacious. And bodacious. And vivacious.

 

[Thandi]

A Munky Harem! What an inspiration. I'm putting the movie rights up, already taking a lunch with Spielberg.

You are always audacious. And bodacious. And vivacious.

Oh goody! We'll all be rich!

That she is!!

 

[LusterMunky]

Oh goody! We'll all be rich!

Uh, seems as though I misinterpreted. Spielberg didn't want to take a lunch, he wanted me to take him his lunch. Some kinda tofu crap. Anyhoo, I pitched him while I was there and when I told him about all the boobies . . . well, let's just say he didn't leave me a tip for delivering his tofu.

 

[dutchrain]

Thank you, Munky and Thandi es


I wonder if we are allowed to play ourselves in that movie.

Now who could play me...Hm, Sandra Bullock? She only would need to gain a few kilos, and cut her hair.

 

[Thandi]

Thank you, Munky and Thandi es


I wonder if we are allowed to play ourselves in that movie.

Now who could play me...Hm, Sandra Bullock? She only would need to gain a few kilos, and cut her hair.

Ya...doesn't look like it's happening Dutchy.

 

[dutchrain]

Uh, seems as though I misinterpreted. Spielberg didn't want to take a lunch, he wanted me to take him his lunch. Some kinda tofu crap. Anyhoo, I pitched him while I was there and when I told him about all the boobies . . . well, let's just say he didn't leave me a tip for delivering his tofu.

Now that is just...

Pff, no need to start casting actresses who are able to do us justice then. Such a relief! Leaves us much more time on the trampoline and in the pool!

 

[sunbunny3]

I missed the arrival of the tramp.. wow! sounds like a fun time.. can we bounce into the pool???

 

[Thandi]

I missed the arrival of the tramp.. wow! sounds like a fun time.. can we bounce into the pool???

Absolutely bunny!! Munky snuck it in cause he likes to watch all the bouncing boobies.

 

[dutchrain]

Absolutely bunny!! Munky snuck it in cause he likes to watch all the bouncing boobies.

John doesn't mind the bouncing boobies either...

 

[LusterMunky]

I missed the arrival of the tramp

She got here very early this morning.

 

[LusterMunky]

So anyhoo, I’m still here in Hollywood, undeterred in my quest to sell our movie rights. It’s like swimming with sharks down here, but I met a guy who works at In-N-Out who knows a guy who knows another guy . . . long story short, looks like we may have a deal with a director! His name is Hands Lorie and so far I like him a lot better than those big studio guys. He’s real Hands (hah!) on and shoots right in the living room of his trailer in Oxnard. He’s pretty into our project and already has the film title: Simian Sluts! He says it will be tastefully done, but will probably go straight to video. Hey, we gotta start somewhere, huh?

 

[dutchrain]

So anyhoo, I’m still here in Hollywood, undeterred in my quest to sell our movie rights. It’s like swimming with sharks down here, but I met a guy who works at In-N-Out who knows a guy who knows another guy . . . long story short, looks like we may have a deal with a director! His name is Hands Lorie and so far I like him a lot better than those big studio guys. He’s real Hands (hah!) on and shoots right in the living room of his trailer in Oxnard. He’s pretty into our project and already has the film title: Simian Sluts! He says it will be tastefully done, but will probably go straight to video. Hey, we gotta start somewhere, huh?

Is that the niveau we want for ourselves?
People would think we all are simians like you with that title!

Much as I would like to be famous all over the world, I doubt I would reach that by this work of art. I am afraid it would not get the merits it deserved. There are so many videos around... I would prefer John's backyard over this director/producer/cameraman's trailer-livingroom for the shooting also. It might give the movie a more ... documentary character, showing us all in our natural habitat, don't you think so?

 

[Hands_Lorie]

Hi Ladies. Hands Lorie here. And John, you have a nice place here.

Looks like Munks already gave you the skinny on our project. I'm stoked! BTW, I saw the concerns about the title from DutchRain. Munks is a bit slow. The title should be 'Simian's Sluts'.

Next step is replacing some light bulbs in my trailer, laying in a good stock of Funyuns, then casting.

I'd like you ladies to play yourselves. I pay my actresses full Lithuanian scale (plus all the Funyuns you can eat) so it's a good gig. As for Munks, I'm gonna need to cast an outsider (I hear he's hung like a stud field mouse)

And Munks . . . if you read this . . .is this DutchRain person gonna be a problem? I see she wants to the shoot here at the Romper Room pool. I don't mind a little input from the actresses (is this thong too modest?) but I worry when someone starts dicktating creative decisions. My trailer is just fine, and I'll give it a hose job shooting starts.

 

[dutchrain]

Hi Ladies. Hands Lorie here. And John, you have a nice place here.

Looks like Munks already gave you the skinny on our project. I'm stoked! BTW, I saw the concerns about the title from DutchRain. Munks is a bit slow. The title should be 'Simian's Sluts'.

Next step is replacing some light bulbs in my trailer, laying in a good stock of Funyuns, then casting.

I'd like you ladies to play yourselves. I pay my actresses full Lithuanian scale (plus all the Funyuns you can eat) so it's a good gig. As for Munks, I'm gonna need to cast an outsider (I hear he's hung like a stud field mouse)

And Munks . . . if you read this . . .is this DutchRain person gonna be a problem? I see she wants to the shoot here at the Romper Room pool. I don't mind a little input from the actresses (is this thong too modest?) but I worry when someone starts dicktating creative decisions. My trailer is just fine, and I'll give it a hose job shooting starts.

Hi Hands

Me a problem? Never. I just have my opinions and will tell them you and everyone else.

I do think your trailer-livingroom isn't the right place for us to shoot in. It would get awfully crowed in there (I don't suppose your trailer-livingroom has the size of even a modest ballroom) with all us girls around. And where would you put the trampoline? And how would you shoot the pool scenes? You don't expect us to float spreadeagled in a plastic children's blow-up 'swimming pool' would you? We are grown women, not midgets (no offense meant to any very small people anywhere). How could we plunge, dive or even jump in there? It would only be a ridiculous sight if we jumped in, and only our feet got wet! Such a small jump wouldn't even make our boobies bounce!

Full Lithuanian scale... Hm, that doesn't sound as bad as 'You will be famous once this is in the shops'.

'Simian's Sluts' sounds much better than 'Simian Sluts'.
But I would like very much to have John included in the title too.

And we (I am sure the other ladies don't mind me speaking for them too) most certainly won't play with anyone else as our Munky! How a man is hung isn't the most important fact about him, you know!

 

[LusterMunky]

Hi Dutchy!

I just exchanged some encrypted notes from Hans via the In-N-Out guy (these Hollywood types are sure secretive when they get a hot property) and I think your artistic input has been accepted!

Turns out Hands wants to cast John as the Lion Tamer and I guess there’s not enough room in his trailer for a Lion. These creative types, WOW, it would never have occurred to me to have Lions in this film. Hands also suggested we retitle the film ‘Simian’s Sluts and the Lion Tamer’, to broaden our audience. Something about cat lovers.

So we’ll be shooting right here! How cool is that?

I’ll have to pack up my burglar tools and go to the zoo, I guess. Hands didn't tell me how many Lions, but I think I’ll employ the Prune Theory: Three too many, one not enough. So two? What do you think?

 

[dutchrain]

Hi Dutchy!

I just exchanged some encrypted notes from Hans via the In-N-Out guy (these Hollywood types are sure secretive when they get a hot property) and I think your artistic input has been accepted!

Turns out Hands wants to cast John as the Lion Tamer and I guess there’s not enough room in his trailer for a Lion. These creative types, WOW, it would never have occurred to me to have Lions in this film. Hands also suggested we retitle the film ‘Simian’s Sluts and the Lion Tamer’, to broaden our audience. Something about cat lovers.

So we’ll be shooting right here! How cool is that?

I’ll have to pack up my burglar tools and go to the zoo, I guess. Hands didn't tell me how many Lions, but I think I’ll employ the Prune Theory: Three too many, one not enough. So two? What do you think?

Now that is wonderful news! Are you sure he talked about cat-lovers, and not pussy-lovers?

We do have pussies enough, and even if they are not as experienced as Tinkerbell (would your friends allow you to bring her, Rhapsody?) I am sure Hands could make some nice shots with John, you and we of course, playing with them.

I would be very anxious the whole time you would be away, robbing lions.

 

[John_Whittaker0826]

As always, I'll be here to serve drinks.

Whew, a lot has happened whilst I was in dreamland. Sounds like an interesting project we have kicked off here. Dutchy, thanks for sticking up for the RR. I don't mind going on location from time to time, but this place, much like Rome, wasn't built in a day and I can't imagine not including it. Besides, we wouldn't want to lose Yellow_Rose and I'm not sure she's aware of what's going on just yet. She sure did like the tramp though.

Lion tamer? I like that, I think

Selling porn again today. Let's hope its a bit better than least weekend.

 

[LusterMunky]

I’ll be gone for just a bit. Have to meet Hands about an apparent cross-promotional opportunity with the California Kumquat Growers Association. I’ll tell you about it when I get back.

This is all so exciting! Moviemaking right here at the RR!

 

[John_Whittaker0826]

You do what you have to do Munky.

Hey we need to find someone to help you with Marketing too. I haven't met this Hands guy, but we need to make sure all the bases are covered. I can't imagine you handling everything and still chasing pussies, watching boobies, and all the other things you have going on.

 

[dutchrain]

As always, I'll be here to serve drinks.

Whew, a lot has happened whilst I was in dreamland. Sounds like an interesting project we have kicked off here. Dutchy, thanks for sticking up for the RR. I don't mind going on location from time to time, but this place, much like Rome, wasn't built in a day and I can't imagine not including it. Besides, we wouldn't want to lose Yellow_Rose and I'm not sure she's aware of what's going on just yet. She sure did like the tramp though.

Lion tamer? I like that, I think

Selling porn again today. Let's hope its a bit better than least weekend.

It has been my pleasure, John. This is a wonderful place and it would be a shame to go elsewhere. Although going on location once in while might be fun too. But only if it is clearly understood this is the home base for the 'Similian's Sluts and the Lion Tamer'.

And we do have enough space here to build a cage for the lions, in case Munky did understood Hands correct this time. I am afraid he is not listening very well in the over-enthousiast state he is in now.

I’ll be gone for just a bit. Have to meet Hands about an apparent cross-promotional opportunity with the California Kumquat Growers Association. I’ll tell you about it when I get back.

This is all so exciting! Moviemaking right here at the RR!

The California Kumquat Growers Association? Munky... What in heavens-sake can they do for us? How many members does this association have? How much money can they spend us? And on what conditions? If all the members want free videos for themselves, all their relatives, the Cucumbers Growers Association and the Sweet Plums Growers, it is of no use to us! Whatever they tell you about a combined promotion. If we have to eat Kumquat the whole day or in every movie scene we will be sick!

 

[John_Whittaker0826]

Let's see what he comes up with Dutchy, though I do agree, we can't just put ourselves out there for everyone. Olives, limes & lemons are my snacks of choice of course, but I do trust the Munkster, so let's just see.

I'm off to the porn shop, back in a bit.

 

[LusterMunky]

I can't imagine you handling everything and still chasing pussies, watching boobies, and all the other things you have going on.

Well geez, John, I'm glad you pointed that out. I'm going to urge my agent to change my contract so that this film making doesn't butt into my Boobie Watching Time. My agent doesn't much like to be urged unless it's by a buxom blonde or a water buffalo, but I'm going to do my best.

The California Kumquat Growers Association? Munky... What in heavens-sake can they do for us?

Nothing apparently, so once again your innate instincts about movie making have proved prescient. (I think before this is all over you'll be getting an Executive Producer credit!)

Hands and I met with the Head Kumquat and Hands pitched a Simian's Sluts and the Lion Tamer cross-promotional deal where every Kumquat sold in California would have a "SLUT!" sticker on it and their organization would change their name to the California Cumquat Growers Association.

Hands believes there's still a longshot at putting the deal together, but I (and I hate to be pessimistic here) think it's highly unlikely, just based on the manner in which Kumquat Security escorted us out of the building.