Jealousy...

[*bratcat*]

 

[Guest]

 

[cymbidia]

The worst i've done while flamingly jealous

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in the peaceable kingdom of my youth, i was insanely jealous of another woman. I was only 17 and she was 21; she could go into bars with my 23 year old Master. I was crazy jealous of her and did a retaliatory thing not at all subbielike, a thing in direct violation of my Master's orders to me. I still feel a sense of triumph mixed with blushing shame at what my jealousy prodded me to do.

She worked in a very upscale restaurant as a waitress. One day, pushed beyond what i could endure (and taking it out on her instead of talking to him about the horrible feelings) and after a night when i knew he'd been out with her to places i couldn't go, i walked into her restaurant at the beginning of the busy lunch time, a time of day when the place was filled with doctors and lawyers and business people of all stripes and colors.

I requested her area and made he fetch and carry for me like some miserable lackey for an hour. At the end of my lunch, and without the slightest bit of shame - burning, as a matter of fact, with indignation and an outrage hot enough to burn through the heavy linen tablecloth - i stood up in the middle of that fancy restaurant and announced to the whole place that she was a horrible diseased whore who had given my husband a venereal disease and he had passed it to me. (All lies.)

I was still spouting off as they hustled me out of the restaurant.
She lost her job.
I got punished, and not that let-me-get-you-all-hotted-up-BDSM-lite pretend punishment, either (which i deserved).


I've never done anything remotely like that again but i did it once it was wonderful. This one incident was a thing of hotly flaming youth and due to an inability to control myself and a reluctance to be open with my Master about my problems.

I'm no longer any kinda jealous at all, quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. I haven't been jealous in a long while; i know my worth.

But i was once.
Oh yeh.

 

[Dillinger]

I work hard at not being jealous and try and recognize that particular emotion for what it is... "ownership" of another person... especially online, I have long held this ideal that we can make the online world a better place, in its own way, than the real world... at least in some ways... why do people insist on bringing a certain real life emotional baggage here into the online world?

I especially find this interesting when the jealosy involves online relationships between married people who have no intentions of leaving their real life spouses... what's the point?

Just another side of the coin to consider. I certainly haven't always managed this as well as I would like but I do try and take a step back and see things for what they are...

I'm not sure if I made my point quite as well as I would like... jealousy is, in many ways, an antiquated and SELFISH emotion...

 

[Zauriel]

oh that green-eyed monster!

Cymbidia, your post had me falling out of my chair laffing! That was a true act of vengance.

Dillinger...you and I are of the same logical mind. I try to recognize the emotion for what it is. I do, however, have outbursts when it comes to outright disrespect or ignoring of feelings.

 

[DirtyGrl]

I am not a normaly jealous person but there was one time that I was so jealous that I was ready to break up my relationship. You see there was this woman, she was sexy, smart and confindant. Everyone wanted her, thinking it would be a true honor to lay between her theighs. We were at a party and everyone played strip poker. By the time this chick was down to just her pantys everyone was paying attention to her. It was like I didnt exist, and there I was with good intimate friends that no longer had the time for me. Yea I was jealous and I was in my pantys and wanted some attention! I sat and watched everyone fawn over her. I sat and stewed in my resentment towards her and my desire for her. I ended up making my boyfriend take me home and asked him not to go back to our friends house. Later that night he said her name in his sleep and that about ended the realationship for me. Alas the woman left town and my boyfriend and I worked on our realationship.

 

[Dillinger]

Zauriel - its very hard to overcome our conditioning... society HAS conditioned us to know jealousy, its not something you're born with... recognizing it for what it is - that is the first step in letting go - and, consequently, being happier.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Jeaousy is an evil, negative emotion....

Nothing good ever comes from it......

I have trained myself to not acknowledge it......

I don't, I won't feel it......

I think it's stupid.

Not within my scope of thought.

As it should be with all "thinking" people.

 

[*bratcat*]

Re: Jeaousy is an evil, negative emotion....

 

[Siren]

Cym you are a bad girlie indeed

 

[Never]

I don't think any emotion is 'bad' or 'evil' - that's like saying that since anger can lead to violence than all angry is bad and no thinking person should ever be angry.

Jealousy comes from possessiveness, yes, then again there's nothing wrong with possessiveness.

I haven't had the chance to be a jealous person yet, but when I do I plan to be, for the moment I'm content with envy though.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

What a Great Post !

Your timing is perfect......That's all I have to say about that!!
(LOL)

kgboot

 

[*bratcat*]

Re: What a Great Post !

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Re: Re: What a Great Post !

PURRfection is a hard quality to live up to!

AAHHHH !!! Yes, but your accurate!!! lol


kgboot

 

[cymbidia]

,,,but in reading your account, I felt an overwhelming sympathy
for that poor gal you did that too.

Yes, yes, yes, yes - i was wrong. I was bad. But she prompted it by once too often lording her age over me as well as the fact that she could go with Him where i could not, you know? I was very young and had very little control of myself then - and i blew. She stayed WAY out of my way from then on, though. ~still smirking after all these years~ I think she thought i was insane. Wonder why?

Jealousy comes from possessiveness, yes, then again there's nothing wrong with possessiveness.

I haven't had the chance to be a jealous person yet, but when I do I plan to be, for the moment I'm content with envy though.

You are the quiet, serene, green park in the heart of a often bustling, sometimes ugly, always busy city, Never.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

So....... then.......

Nothing must be "bad." Nothing at all.

Nothing that emanates from humans. No emotions, not one of’em - because they are "human" and "normal" are bad.....

Then what are they? Good? Normal?

Hey why not? Get pissed. Get red faced. Feel jealouse. Feel envy. Covet thy neighbors grass – it’s always greener than yours.

It’s all good……. It’s all normal…….

(Here we go again.)

This is a fine, prime, example of what I always tell you people - a fine example of "the intellectual arrogance" of your average human. Of you.

You see - most humans think their shit don't stink - they all think that if, "they do it or feel it," - if it's, "normal," - then - it's okay.

Anger? Sure, that's okay. Jealousy? That's okay too. Envy? Why not? It's all so human, it's normal. Right?

I say NO! NO, NO, NO. No the hell it ain’t.

Just because we don't happen to live in a Utopian, "perfect," society - where there would be, "no need to feel negative emotions," - just because we do happen to live in a society where, "fucked up people, with fucked up emotional weaknesses," freely roam among us - just because that happens to be a fact - does not mean - that "it's all okay."

Just because they happen – just because they are there – does not mean that - negative aspects of our human lives - are normal - or are right.

Is a car crash okay? Is spilled milk okay? When your colors run in the wash – is that okay. Is cancer okay? Are guns okay? Is war okay? Is pain okay? Are colds okay? Are zits okay? How about crooked teeth?

No – none of that shit is okay. None of it.

And - as long as that - is not the prevailing attitude among us all - unless we all start to "know" that "negative emotions AND attitudes are simply not acceptable" - THEN - bad/negative shit will continue to befall us all.

And that is why I say – this attitude, this way of thinking that most nearly every human has, that of, “intellectual arrogance,” wherein they/we (all humans) think, “hey, if I feel this, if I do this, if I think this, it must be normal and right and okay,” - that this is the greatest, “wrong,” we put upon ourselves.

We shoot ourselves in the foot – and think that it’s okay. That it’s normal.

We fuck it up ourselves – our lives – because we are so arrogant – we actually think we’re all okay.

We understand and accept – hell we even embrace – our very own weaknesses. And we’re proud of it too.

How the fuck sick is that?

None of us are okay. All of us are sick. And we won’t even admit to it.

Hence the arrogance. Hence the stupidity.

We live in a fog of self-righteousness – one of our own proud creation.

 

[Neale]

Perhaps I am delusional...

But, somehow, I feel very possessive of Imoen, without feeling any jealousy. I guess I am very secure in our relationship, and thus have no worries about what she might be doing with someone else. Whenever I look at her, I kinda think "MINE!" and grin happily... I suppose part of the balance is that I also think of myself as "HERS!"

I guess it is important for some people, like me, to feel they belong to groups, most especially a dyad like a romantic relationship.

 

[livin_simple]

Well Sparky, since you think and feel that way......it must be OK!

Just kidding,

Jealousy is something that I can recognize in myself, it is certainly something I have to wrestle with. I think it is rooted in our own insecurities. The need to be accepted by that other person. We KNOW that trying to hang onto that person is NOT the right way to get them to accept us, yet we still feel that way.

I think in a relationship/friendship where there is a demonstrated commitment to the good of the other person, there is very small likelihood of jealousy getting a root. But where the feelings/level of commitment are't reciprocal, that is when I find myself struggling with jealousy.

Does that make sense to anyone else??

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Delusional????

Neale says -

"I kinda think "MINE!" and grin happily... I suppose part of the balance is that I also think of myself as "HERS!"

I think this is sick.

 

[Neale]

Okay

I'm happy with it. She's happy with it. Works for us. Please keep the cure for this sickness verra far away...

 

[Unclebill]

Re: Re: Jeaousy is an evil, negative emotion....

Originally posted by *bratcat*
but my dear...what about envy? those two are awfully close in meanings...

So much so, in fact, they're synonymous with jealousy possibly being a milder term of expression.

I think everyone feels jeaoulsy or envy at times.

But to my judgment, it's not the emotion that is the evil, rather it's the willingness of some people to allow the emotion to suppress their self-discipline which results in the actions to which you alluded in the opening of the thread.

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Delusional????

Neale says -

"I kinda think "MINE!" and grin happily... I suppose part of the balance is that I also think of myself as "HERS!"

I think this is sick.

May i assume, then, that you think BDSM relationships are sick? In most long-term successful D/s relationships (and in many many shorter term D/s relationships as well), one of us is very definitely owned and one of us is very definitely the owner.

I am his.
I belong to him.
My sexuality is his, my responses are his, my safety and well-being is his to assure. My actions, good or bad, reflect onto him directly.

He thinks "MINE" when he sees me, when he reads what i write, when he hears me in conversation with someone else.

I love it that he thinks so, feels so.

It completes us.

Perhaps just because ownership feelings with regard to another person isn't right for you, doesn't mean it isn't right for other people. A little tolerance here, please.

 

[Siren]

I cant tolerate........Intolerance

 

[Never]

Spark:
"None of us are okay. All of us are sick. And we won?t even admit to it.

Hence the arrogance. Hence the stupidity.

We live in a fog of self-righteousness ? one of our own proud creation."

And here I am, flashing back to Sunday church, and the Preacher is telling us how everyone is sick and evil and born to sin. How humanity is filled with wickedness, and arrogance, and stupidity.

And it sounded like bull shit then..
And it sounds like bull shit now

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

You see - you are a victim of your own design.... and....

I never said a word about sin.