Jacking-Off Log

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RURAHRAH said:
I find febreze works very well.
Nods.
I learned that tip from mewfie.

Yeah, SHOUT doesn't work for shit.

*Blowing hair out of eyes in stereotypical 70s commercial housewifey way*

When did you break Pickard out? Did you get your iPhone, have you had sex with it?....so many questions...
 
ninefe2dg said:
Yeah, SHOUT doesn't work for shit.

*Blowing hair out of eyes in stereotypical 70s commercial housewifey way*

When did you break Pickard out? Did you get your iPhone, have you had sex with it?....so many questions...
I broke picard out when I hit my 1000th post yesterday. It was time for him to make an appearance.
I am sadly under contract with Verizon, and they would love nothing more then for me to cancel that contract.
But I will wait the 6 months...
Hopefully, by that time, at&t will get it's shit figured out, and then I can have sex with my iPhone all day long.
 
RURAHRAH said:
I broke picard out when I hit my 1000th post yesterday. It was time for him to make an appearance.
I am sadly under contract with Verizon, and they would love nothing more then for me to cancel that contract.
But I will wait the 6 months...
Hopefully, by that time, at&t will get it's shit figured out, and then I can have sex with my iPhone all day long.

what? sex with your iPhone? i should try that some time ...
 
this is a jack-off log boys. put up or shuddup! (niner ... you alreay did. RAH .. your turn! or maybe you don't jack ... i dunno)
 
Oops.
Good call.

Pants down around ankles.
Pulling on penis.
"No Aunt Linda, not again."
Orgasm.
Shame.
Kleenex.

Ahh, that one was a good one. I should totally get a phone and try that sometime....
 
RURAHRAH said:
Oops.
Good call.

Pants down around ankles.
Pulling on penis.
"No Aunt Linda, not again."
Orgasm.
Shame.
Kleenex.

Ahh, that one was a good one. I should totally get a phone and try that sometime....
ummm....just doesn't sound too good.
 
RURAHRAH said:
Yeah, maybe I went too far with that.
But I was going for comedic effect if that helps any....
okay

*relief*

although, some do go for that...

would be disappointing if you did.
 
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Batchoohus said:
okay

*relief*

although, some do go for that...

would be disappointing if you did.
You can completely count me out on that.
With me, if you ever see something "not right", know it's humor.
Either that or I've lost my mind.
 
RURAHRAH said:
You can completely count me out on that.
With me, if you ever see something "not right", know it's humor.
Either that or I've lost my mind.
*smiles slowly*

I see the truth in your words.
 
Batchoohus said:
*snort~chuckle*
Mmmm, lovely purple eggplant.
How you provide dishes like parmigiana to me,
Whenever I am in need.
My heart, pounding, thinks of your innermost moisture
As my longing leaks towards your voluptious bottom...

*orgasms*

Oh godDAMN it. I can't even hold it for an eggplant.
*Ashamed again*
 
RURAHRAH said:
Mmmm, lovely purple eggplant.
How you provide dishes like parmigiana to me,
Whenever I am in need.
My heart, pounding, thinks of your innermost moisture
As my longing leaks towards your voluptious bottom...

*orgasms*

Oh godDAMN it. I can't even hold it for an eggplant.
*Ashamed again*
that is almost

erotic

thus I like it

except for the being ashamed part
 
Batchoohus said:
that is almost

erotic

thus I like it

except for the being ashamed part
Well, the shame had to happen.
When you pre-ejaculate just looking at an eggplant, well, shame must occur.
Had I been able to hold it for the big ending, then I would have been happy.

*orgasms in pants*

Oh dear....
 
RURAHRAH said:
Well, the shame had to happen.
When you pre-ejaculate just looking at an eggplant, well, shame must occur.
Had I been able to hold it for the big ending, then I would have been happy.

*orgasms in pants*

Oh dear....
oh dear , indeed
 
You call me to you. You say to take it off. I take it off slowly. You hold it in your palm. You put it there inside me. I hold it there a long time. You ask me a question. You make me say it. I said don’t be gone so long. It’s just a little too long. You make me laugh real laughs. You make me cry real tears. You’re all up inside of me. My palm knows your pulse
 
Thoughts run through. . .

A coffee shop in an office building near where I used to work. We've chatted, never met, but she knows I'll be in town and suggests we meet. We talk, find the spark isn't just on a screen. She excuses herself for a moment for the restroom, returns and slides in on my side of the booth. "Here." She holds out her closed hand, I reach to accept and find I'm holding a wisp of black satin, slipped off in the loo and still warm from between her legs. She keeps making small talk as she casually takes by other hand and guides it out of sight below the tabletop, letting her legs fall apart as my fingers glide up her inner thigh to find her already wet. I shift a bit in the booth to reach her better. She gasps, trying to stifle the sound as I caress her sex, then slide a finger inside, then another as my thumb strokes across her clit. Can't focus on small talk, so I try to keep a conversational tone as I tell her what else I want to do to her. She nods, bites her lip as her hand finds my cock through the fabric of my trousers. As she came in the coffee shop fantasy, I did in my bedroom.

(I did not, sadly for storytelling purposes, find the satin panties in my hand afterward.)
 
can't get enough...

...of thoughts of her. A smile. A sweet word. A soft kiss...i dream of holding her and feeling her heat, her passion. I try to concentrate but cannot, I try to distract the distraction, but i don't want to try hard enough. I become instantly hard at the thought of her. I imagine my touch is her touch, my hand is her hand, and that I pleasure her as much as i know she would pleasure me. In my mind I have her, i fulfill my most carnal desires, desires that were locked away until I knew of her. My orgasm is intense, as intense as the passion of my thoughts of her...
 
a girl can dream...

waking and wanting

My eyes still closed and daydreaming this morning of waking up and kissing a trail up his stomach, all over his chest, into the curve of his neck and whispering, "Please..."

His hands pushing me higher above him, kissing my breasts, my stomach, the tops of my thighs, until I was straddling his warm mouth and his hands were on either side of my hips and pulling down to him as I held onto the headboard and began slowly rocking back and forth.
Moans and gasps escaping my mouth and growing louder as he kissed my puffy pink lips. Sucking and flicking my hard clit, sucking my sweet, sticky lips, pulling harder and harder down, tongue finding it's way inside, thrusting in and out, 'round and 'round. My hips bucking and rocking in a frenzy, my breath coming in loud gasps and moaning. Cursing, crying out, "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck ME!!" YESSSS
Warm, creamy, honeyed juices covering his beautiful face...
I ease myself down and kiss him. Tasting me, licking all of it off, and kissing him long and hard, moaning into his mouth and begging for more.
Without word, he pushes me down into the bed and stares intently into my eyes and ever so slowly pushes inside of me. I wrap my legs around him, my hips softly grinding up to him as he thrusts slow and deliberate, the scent of sex filling the air around us. So heady and sweet.
Kissing becomes more urgent, deeper, longer, meeting the timing of his cock thrusting inside of. Each thrust causing me to gasp, moan, and cry out for him.
Harder, harder, harder. My hands grabbing, pulling. More, more, more!!
Begging for cum, begging for him, meeting him thrust for thrust, only to hear him growl out my name as he fills me with what I crave...
 
VermilionSkye said:
waking and wanting

My eyes still closed and daydreaming this morning of waking up and kissing a trail up his stomach, all over his chest, into the curve of his neck and whispering, "Please..."

His hands pushing me higher above him, kissing my breasts, my stomach, the tops of my thighs, until I was straddling his warm mouth and his hands were on either side of my hips and pulling down to him as I held onto the headboard and began slowly rocking back and forth.
Moans and gasps escaping my mouth and growing louder as he kissed my puffy pink lips. Sucking and flicking my hard clit, sucking my sweet, sticky lips, pulling harder and harder down, tongue finding it's way inside, thrusting in and out, 'round and 'round. My hips bucking and rocking in a frenzy, my breath coming in loud gasps and moaning. Cursing, crying out, "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck ME!!" YESSSS
Warm, creamy, honeyed juices covering his beautiful face...
I ease myself down and kiss him. Tasting me, licking all of it off, and kissing him long and hard, moaning into his mouth and begging for more.
Without word, he pushes me down into the bed and stares intently into my eyes and ever so slowly pushes inside of me. I wrap my legs around him, my hips softly grinding up to him as he thrusts slow and deliberate, the scent of sex filling the air around us. So heady and sweet.
Kissing becomes more urgent, deeper, longer, meeting the timing of his cock thrusting inside of. Each thrust causing me to gasp, moan, and cry out for him.
Harder, harder, harder. My hands grabbing, pulling. More, more, more!!
Begging for cum, begging for him, meeting him thrust for thrust, only to hear him growl out my name as he fills me with what I crave...

*swallow, jaw drops, dumbfounded, drooling*

Thanks for reducing me to a blithering idiot...very hot... :rose:
 
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