Jacking-Off Log

[rosco rathbone]

I want to be a director. I want to direct rape scenes. I have ideas for things that have never been seen on the silver screen. Matthew Barneyesque.

Somewhat homely Asian girl with suede jacket sits across from me on subway train. From waist down she's a star. Pink cheerleader skirt and those eskimo bitch boots that come to the knees. Finnish igloo reindeer wrangler fuck me boots with silver bells and fur trim. She eyed me, I eyed her, we crossed eyes.

Now home, I'm wanking. Why not a troupe of all singing all dancing hoofers entering the subway car, some going to her right some her left. With Radio City choreography, they seize and pinion her from both sides at once, and then yank her skirt up over her hips. Then I stand up out of my seat and the lights dim, spotlight on me, and I start sleezing across the aisle towards her, with snakey hips, undoing my fly. Music by Dr John.

 

[tortoise]

I want to be a director. I want to direct rape scenes. I have ideas for things that have never been seen on the silver screen. Matthew Barneyesque.

Somewhat homely Asian girl with suede jacket sits across from me on subway train. From waist down she's a star. Pink cheerleader skirt and those eskimo bitch boots that come to the knees. Finnish igloo reindeer wrangler fuck me boots with silver bells and fur trim. She eyed me, I eyed her, we crossed eyes.

Now home, I'm wanking. Why not a troupe of all singing all dancing hoofers entering the subway car, some going to her right some her left. With Radio City choreography, they seize and pinion her from both sides at once, and then yank her skirt up over her hips. Then I stand up out of my seat and the lights dim, spotlight on me, and I start sleezing across the aisle towards her, with snakey hips, undoing my fly. Music by Dr John.

Cremaster Cycle meets Busby Berkeley. That's entertainment!

You should write catalog copy, rapscallion. If you put those boots in a catalog with that description: "Finnish igloo reindeer wrangler fuck me boots with silver bells and fur trim," they'd be backordered for months.

Also, love the Mark E.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You know the boots I mean.

*nods*

@#$% hoors.

 

[tortoise]

@#$% hoors.

God love 'em.

 

[Hester]

Finnish igloo reindeer wrangler fuck me boots with silver bells and fur trim. She eyed me, I eyed her, we crossed eyes.

fucking hell, that's hilarious!

Now home, I'm wanking. Why not a troupe of all singing all dancing hoofers entering the subway car, some going to her right some her left. With Radio City choreography, they seize and pinion her from both sides at once, and then yank her skirt up over her hips. Then I stand up out of my seat and the lights dim, spotlight on me, and I start sleezing across the aisle towards her, with snakey hips, undoing my fly. Music by Dr John.

if you want to direct it, i'll fund it.

 

[Hester]

Cremaster Cycle meets Busby Berkeley. That's entertainment!

You should write catalog copy, rapscallion. If you put those boots in a catalog with that description: "Finnish igloo reindeer wrangler fuck me boots with silver bells and fur trim," they'd be backordered for months.

Also, love the Mark E.

i'd order a pair in every color.

someone pls send me a link, i really want to see these things.

 

[rosco rathbone]

It was like uggs with bling. Some kind of spoilt asian princess hong kong uggs with extra siberian bells and whistles. I wanted to order her to chew a seal hide.

 

[tortoise]

if you want to direct it, i'll fund it.

I want to put the soundtrack together.

 

[Batch]

http://www.uggaustralia.com/

 

[tortoise]

It was like uggs with bling. Some kind of spoilt asian princess hong kong uggs with extra siberian bells and whistles. I wanted to order her to chew a seal hide.

Ring her bells, rapscallion.

'Tis the season.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Ring her bells, rapscallion.

'Tis the season.

That's a sick thing to say, in this context.

 

[tortoise]

That's a sick thing to say, in this context.

High praise indeed, coming from you.

*bowing with a flourish*

 

[coffeebean]

Fed by your imagination, your desires, & your words, I squirmed and heated moment by moment yesterday. Sitting at my desk, blinded by desire, I was unable to focus on work or anything that needed my attention.

I stepped outside for some air, my mind and body too far gone really to settle. I paced, feeling my inner thighs brush the swollen folds between with each step. I wanted my hand on that flesh, but more than that, I wanted your hand, your body, your cock pressed there, parting and filling me. It was a hopeless endeavor if my goal was to cool off, and I failed miserably.

I headed back inside and straight to the ladies room. Standing against the wall, the vanity mirror in front of me, I gave into the images you had planted in my mind, and that my mind had elaborated on. I dressed casually today, I can do that given the solitary tasks my job entails. A soft baby blue t-shirt over dark navy jogging pants. I snapped them open, peeled the placard wide and my hand sank into my panties to seek the flesh that ached. Slick, hot, and throbbing is how my fingers found me.

I kept reminding myself where I was, that anyone could pass down the hall and hear me if I weren't careful. It was hard to remember. My hips had a mind of their own, my abdomen clenched on a goal all it's own, and my pussy actively pursued it's course against my fingers with no thought to who might hear. It was that "god this feels so fucking good i don't want it to end too soon, but I can't help but race anyway" feeling. Rising to my toes, clenching the backs of my legs and my ass, I watched my knuckles as they moved frantically under the soft cotton of my panties. I literally shook. More, I wanted more... but lacking the driving force of you taking me against the wall, I settled for lowering my pants and panties to my thighs, lifting my shirt above my breasts, and pulling them from my bra to sit obscenely over the cups.

I tilted forward, liking the heavy weight of my breasts as they fell in conical points, between which I could view the flat but soft expanse of my tummy down to my mound, and my hand over it. I pressed my bare ass to the wall, the cool plaster in stark contrast to my heated skin, my pussy opened by the tilt forward and the air strangely capable of caressing me. After circling my clit in tight hard circles in this position for a while, I leaned back again, and lifted once more to my toes, the better to tilt my hips forward. The walls of my cunt closing and clenching together with my thrusts giving me a taste, an unsatisfying but wonderful taste, of what it would feel like to have you inside me.

Offering myself to my fingers, to the mirror, to my gaze... and to you. I've never masturbated that hard in public, not that I can remember. I felt the wall at my back thudding with the shudders rocking my shoulders as I got closer and closer, and I couldn't stop. All the words, your words, flashing through my mind, racing along my bloodstream and firing my nerve endings even more... fuck. Deeper. Harder. Mount me. Fill me. Slam me to the wall. Claim me. Take me. Fuck me.... I clapped my hand over my mouth as it hit and my body jackknifed forward, bowed and bent as the spasms overtook me.

It was unbelievable and hard and one of the longest climaxes I've ever experienced by my own hand.

thank you for that....

 

[stirbird]

Stressed by the holidays? Jack off to one of the sexiest xmas films.

http://www.monkeybicycle.net/archive/spitznagel/christmas.html

Excerpt:

"Every holiday season, kids of all ages curl up in front of the TV to watch their favorite Christmas specials. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and other classic shows have become as much a Christmas tradition as presents, egg nog, and old fat guys. It is impossible to resist the magical fantasyland of the Christmas special, where bad claymation is still king, Fred Astiare is alive and well and wearing skin-tight leisure suits, and Christmas can be canceled because of a snowstorm or a nose cold.

"But the adults who grew up with these shows don't continue to watch them just out of nostalgia. We're still drawn to these timeless tales of Christmas because they're filled with characters who are, quite frankly, really sexy. You know it's true.

"4. MARY THE STREAKER

"Perverts all over the world know that the best Christmas smut can be found in "It's a Wonderful Life." Specifically, the scene in which Mary loses her bathrobe and gets locked out of her house au naturel. When George shows up, she flirts with him from behind a bush, ostensibly embarrassed about her naked state. This is unusual behavior for the little cock-tease, but as she keeps insisting to the understandably bewildered George, it was just an "accident." Sure, Mary, whatever you say. George, full-blooded American man that he is, takes full advantage of the situation, and makes sure that she stays naked for as long as possible. Unfortunately, George never gets a clear view of the goodies, but he gets the message loud and clear. If a country boy is ever going to get laid, it'll probably be on Christmas. No guardian angel necessary, thank you very much."

 

[Batch]

Stressed by the holidays? Jack off to one of the sexiest xmas films.

http://www.monkeybicycle.net/archive/spitznagel/christmas.html

Excerpt:

"Every holiday season, kids of all ages curl up in front of the TV to watch their favorite Christmas specials. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and other classic shows have become as much a Christmas tradition as presents, egg nog, and old fat guys. It is impossible to resist the magical fantasyland of the Christmas special, where bad claymation is still king, Fred Astiare is alive and well and wearing skin-tight leisure suits, and Christmas can be canceled because of a snowstorm or a nose cold.

"But the adults who grew up with these shows don't continue to watch them just out of nostalgia. We're still drawn to these timeless tales of Christmas because they're filled with characters who are, quite frankly, really sexy. You know it's true.

"4. MARY THE STREAKER

"Perverts all over the world know that the best Christmas smut can be found in "It's a Wonderful Life." Specifically, the scene in which Mary loses her bathrobe and gets locked out of her house au naturel. When George shows up, she flirts with him from behind a bush, ostensibly embarrassed about her naked state. This is unusual behavior for the little cock-tease, but as she keeps insisting to the understandably bewildered George, it was just an "accident." Sure, Mary, whatever you say. George, full-blooded American man that he is, takes full advantage of the situation, and makes sure that she stays naked for as long as possible. Unfortunately, George never gets a clear view of the goodies, but he gets the message loud and clear. If a country boy is ever going to get laid, it'll probably be on Christmas. No guardian angel necessary, thank you very much."

Oh my and I thought I was the only one who thought that was so hot, her naked and George prowling around the edges of the bushes.

 

[stirbird]

Oh my and I thought I was the only one who thought that was so hot, her naked and George prowling around the edges of the bushes.

It's a great humilation fantasy.

 

[johnjones1]

DP memories

I wanked one out this morning thinking about a particular hot session with my FB. I was laying on the sofa, my head resting against the arm, cushioned by a soft pillow. One hand wrapped around my already stiff cock, stroking it. The index finger of my other hand was rubbing underneath my balls, adding that extra "she's playing with my balls and wants to make me cum" sensation.

In my head I was remembering once we were fucking doggy style, her ass was in the air and I was thrusting hard. She was moaning and enjoying our doggy fuck intensely, as was I. Out of inspiration or pervy lust or something, I took the middle finger of my right hand and pushed it into her tight little hole as I was ramming her from behind. She gasped and let out a little scream and gasped "oh fuck!" as I pushed it in deeper. I had been playing with her hole earlier, so it was ready to accept my intruding finger. I pumped my finger in and out of her ass a few times in the same rhythm as my cock was plunging into her pussy and with a grunt and moaning "oh god fuck!" she came.

Replaying all this in my mind, that's the point when I came, shot a few spurts on to my stomach and one stronger one on to my chest, and had a good rocking orgasm. Nice and hot memories and sensations.

 

[coffeebean]

too bad "talk throughs" don't count

last night was a gooooooooooooooooooood one

 

[Hester]

last night was a gooooooooooooooooooood one

what's a talk through and why doesn't one count?

 

[hogjack]

last night was a gooooooooooooooooooood one

Ending up in the hospital Emergency Room was a bit extreme but feeling will eventually return to your arms and hands. Right?

 

[stirbird]

http://www.uploadfile.info/uploads/4becbe7484.jpg

 

[rosco rathbone]

the power of herbs

I've been oing like a beast lately and I'm wondering if it has anything to do with this Saw Palmetto extract that I'm taking for male urogenitary support. I don't feel all that horny, and I wank pretty much on instinct, but it's been like 10 toe curlers in a row. The power of herbs, eh? I believe in them.

I also take: Valerian

Milk Thistle

and sjw.

 

[tortoise]

My libido overfloweth today. Cock snarling with hunger, growling one word over and over like a mantra: Want. Want. Want.

I'm not in a situation amenable to jacking, however. This is bad, but also good. Letting the fires of feral frustration fuel my frenetic fucklust.

Throb.

Throb.

Throb.

...

*snarl*

 

[Batch]

I got a really nice one off about, oh, two hours ago.

Toe curling, ass off the bed, drenchings.

Many guttural sounds.

10+

 

[rosco rathbone]

Let's get jacking, pervy peeple.


I've been doing it all along, big oze too, but I haven't felt like logging.


I was jaying this morning thinking about an episode with an ex-girlfriend. I'd hurt her feelings by criticizing her rudimentary oral abilities. I'd meant the critique to be constructive but it wasn't taken that way.

She got up and stomped off to the bathroom. I followed her in there after a little while and stood her up against the door, smushing her face into the towels as I hefted the cheeks of her ass leisurely.

After enduring in silence for a moment, she said in a cutting tone "I'm bored."

I replied "so what?" and kept on moulding her shape for a while, until I'd had my fill. Then I walked her out to the sofa by her hair, laid her over the arm and humped her. She was crying and that made me o like a beast. I replayed the whole thing in my head and it was good this time as well.