Jacking-Off Log

[tortoise]

[...]before shooting it in her with a big o face.

*quizzically raised brow*

(The unicycle was a nice touch. Added flair.)

 

[stirbird]

Can't you just see a "Rosco Rathbone" riding a unicycle? Hard to imagine what else someone with that name would ride.

 

[tortoise]

Can't you just see a "Rosco Rathbone" riding a unicycle? Hard to imagine what else someone with that name would ride.

Aye. With top hat and mustachios. It's a match made in heaven.

 

[CBM_Redux]

Mightn't this be your handiwork RR?

http://static.flickr.com/113/297640372_b0c5b98500_o.jpg

I'd probably last about 90 seconds before shooting it in her with a big o face. Then I'd stand up and piss all over her and then make my escape via unicycle.

Some sort of coercion, economic perhaps, by which she would consciously acquiesce would be even hotter, IMHO. Not to mention far less likely to land you on Rikers Island, where you might, in an ironic twist of fate, be subjected to similar treatment. You'd be surprised how many an uptown hootchie would be amenable to such a thing for the price of a pair of the aforementioned Ugg boots... GG for instance.

This was more involved than my usual jacks. It was the fit of her sweatsuit bottoms--they really got me in the ape centre.

Ah yes. I know all too well the temptation of a black woman's arrogantly jutting, thong-devouring buttocks sheathed in form-fitting Baby Phat velour sweatpants.

 

[rosco rathbone]

How the hell did my id get a literotica account of its own?????

CBM, I am not into porn, but if I were, it would look like the little slice you posted. That's pretty much what that chick looked like.

You know exactly what I'm talking about, with the velour sweats.

 

[CBM_Redux]

CBM, I am not into porn, but if I were, it would look like the little slice you posted.

I have to justify the exorbitant cost of my broadband connection somehow.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I have to justify the exorbitant cost of my broadband connection somehow.

By the way, the Harlem need for sugardaddy thing you mention is quite real. I've had some strange experiences in that general area.

 

[rosco rathbone]

*quizzically raised brow*

(The unicycle was a nice touch. Added flair.)

Eh, it's fantasy. I filed the serial numbers off of my seeds before pulling the trigger in her hot snatch.

 

[tortoise]

Eh, it's fantasy. I filed the serial numbers off of my seeds before pulling the trigger in her hot snatch.

Forensically untraceable insemination. Nice.

(I know, I was just busting your balls. Call it ribbing payback.)

 

[rosco rathbone]

Forensically untraceable insemination. Nice.

(I know, I was just busting your balls. Call it ribbing payback.)

At least I've got you thinking like a rapist.

 

[tortoise]

At least I've got you thinking like a rapist.

You are my bad(der) elder brother, after all. Were it not for you, I'd be pure as the driven snow.

*earnest nod*

 

[CBM_Redux]

By the way, the Harlem need for sugardaddy thing you mention is quite real. I've had some strange experiences in that general area.

Harlem and elsewhere, black women in this country (and not merely pros... students, clerical types, shop workers and church-going school schoolmarms... single, married and engaged) have a long history of making ends meet by making the booty available for use to comparatively well-heeled blue-eyed devils of a lecherous bent, such as yourself.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You are my bad(der) elder brother, after all. Were it not for you, I'd be pure as the driven snow.

*earnest nod*

I'm just a humble facilitator.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Harlem and elsewhere, black women in this country (and not merely pros... students, clerical types, shop workers and church-going school schoolmarms... single, married and engaged) have a long history of making ends meet by making the booty available for use to comparatively well-heeled blue-eyed devils of a lecherous bent, such as yourself.

I could tell you real life stories that would make your bone stand on end, baby, but I have to draw a veil between lit and the actual world.

 

[tortoise]

I'm just a humble facilitator.

Felicitations on your facilitations.

 

[CBM_Redux]

I could tell you real life stories that would make your bone stand on end, baby, but I have to draw a veil between lit and the actual world.

I'd certainly find them interesting but I doubt if I'd be shocked. I have an, dare I say, uncanny ability to get sisters to admit to this sort of thing. I don't know how well acquainted you are with the milieu of socio-sexual intergender communication within the African American community, but that subject is rarely broached between women and men. Even when a black couple brings forth an inexplicably mocha-latte complexioned, green-eyed, curry haired little dumpling, questions about the reality of the mother's fructification are often swept under the rug. Miscegenation during slavery affords us with the luxury of that kind of plausible, albeit improbable, deniability (à la Denise and Sandra on The Cosby Show.) In any event, I'm often able to get black women to tell me of their most sordid racially charged perversions. Perhaps it's just because don't give a fuck about acceptable social mores and have the stones to broach the subject.

I had an ex (if I were one iota more of a bastard, I'd say her name here) who wanted to get knocked up by, but had no desire to date, a member of your pale ilk. As you astutely predicted, that type of shit make my "bone stand on end." So, as the kids say, it's all good.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I've missed you babe. I'm glad you came back to lit.

 

[Hester]

...and then make my escape via unicycle.

i was rapt until i got to this part. at which point i laughed out loud and said to myself, "of course."

 

[CBM_Redux]

I've missed you babe. I'm glad you came back to lit.

You can thank _geisha_ for my return. I found her sluttish desire to be whipped and whored like a bed-wench on Strom Thurman's grandpappy's plantation an irresistible draw.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You can thank _geisha_ for my return. I found her sluttish desire to be whipped and whored like a bed-wench on Strom Thurman's grandpappy's plantation an irresistible draw.

That type of thing makes me feel a bit giddy as well.

 

[stirbird]

Ok, all this talk about black people and their habits has forced me to post a sort of on topic video link. Just try to pretend, as you watch, that he means the other definition.

Mystery JOL Video Link

 

[Hester]

i'm obsessed with kissing again. can't stop thinking about it. while it's not the image in my head whilst i O it's what gets me putting my hand in my pants.

 

[luxey313]

i'm obsessed with kissing again. can't stop thinking about it. while it's not the image in my head whilst i O it's what gets me putting my hand in my pants.

I just love to kiss.
It is one of my favorite things.

This sounds so dumb.. but the new Justin Timberlake music video is my obsession.
The video is all in black and white and real simple.
He is singing and dancing, and all the while there is this black chick dancing around him/with him.
There is this part where this beautiful black chick is wearing fishnets and booty shorts with a man's shirt. He is sitting on this bench and she is standing in front of him facing him.
He starts to grab her and rip off the panyhose, bending her over and shreading them. Fairly rough.
The next scene is him sitting there ignoring her, and her crawling all around with the shreaded hose and booty shorts.

So hot.. JT surprised me.

 

[CBM_Redux]

There is this part where this beautiful black chick is wearing fishnets and booty shorts with a man's shirt. He is sitting on this bench and she is standing in front of him facing him.
He starts to grab her and rip off the panyhose, bending her over and shreading them.

I've never seen this video, but that would be super hot if I didn't think Justin Timberlake was mere weeks away from pulling a Lance Bass.

 

[Guest]