Jacking-Off Log

[tortoise]

pinochle on wednesday evenings.

risk on fridays.

Sometimes the cards get a bit sticky, but that's why we buy the decks by the case.

 

[cjh]

Sometimes the cards get a bit sticky, but that's why we buy the decks by the case.

that explains the one-eyed jack.

nobody reach for that punchline, dammit.

 

[tortoise]

Jacks or better!


Well you play that tarantella all the hounds will start to roar
The boys all go to hell and then the cubans hit the floor
They drive along the pipeline, they tango 'til they're sore
They take apart their nightmares and they leave them by the door
Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets, but i lie about my past
And send me off to bed for evermore

Make sure they play my theme song, i guess daisies will have to do
Just get me to new orleans and paint shadows on the pews
Turn the spit on that pig and kick the drum and let me down
Put my clarinet beneath your bed 'til i get back in town
Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets, but i lie about my past
So send me off to bed for evermore

Just make sure she's all in calico and the color of a doll
Wave the flag on cadillac day, and a skillet on the wall
Cut me a switch or hold your breath 'til the sun goes down
Write my name on the hood, send me off to another town, and just
And just let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs
Tell you all my secrets, but i lie about my past
Will you send me off to bed for evermore

Fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets, but i lie about my past
Send me off to bed for evermore, send me off to bed for evermore

 

[cjh]

Jacks or better!

if you invite rickie lee jones, too, i'll be inspired to write an entry.

 

[rosco rathbone]

that explains the one-eyed jack.

nobody reach for that punchline, dammit.

haha! I never thought of that!

"one eyed jacks, man with the axe"

 

[tortoise]

if you invite rickie lee jones, too, i'll be inspired to write an entry.

Heh. This one was written when she and Waits were an item, I do believe. Tom has excellent taste in women; I also have a huge crush on Kathleen Brennan.

How come he don't come and p.i.p. with me
Down at the meter no more?
How come he turn off the t.v.
And he hang that sign on the door?
We call and we call 'How come?' we say
What could make a boy behave this way?
He learn all of the lines, and every time he
don't suffer when he talk
And it's true! It's true! He sure is aquired a
cool and inspired sorta jazz when he walk
Where's his jacket and his old blue jeans?
If this ain't healthy is it some kinda clean?

I think Chuck E's in love

I don't believe what you're saying to me
This is something I gotta see Is he here?
Look in the poolhall Is he here?
Look in the drugstore Is he here?
No, he don't come here no more

I'll tell you what I saw him
He was sittin' us down at the Pantages
And whatever is that he got up his sleeve
I hope it isn't contagious
What's her name? Is that her there?
Christ, I think he's even combed his hair!
Is that her? What's her name?
Oh, it's never going to be same.
But that's not her
I know what's wrong--
Chuck E's in love with the little girl who's singing this song
Chuck E's in love with me

 

[tortoise]

I've had an emergency eyewash station installed in my bedroom just for those one-eyed jacks. Goggles cramp my style.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Does anyone wank in this thread anymore?

Wo. Good point. The jol is in danger of turning into a killa thread for literate perverts. This is supposed to be a source of reliable masturbation data.

Spits on hands, rubs briskly together.

 

[tortoise]

Okay.

Impromptu shower jack this morning. I was innocently soaping my nethers, mind wandering in the realms whence it is prone to roam of late, but without intent to self-harm. Before long, though, I had a situation in my hand, so the decision to jack was in essence made for me by my cock (neither for the first time nor the last time). Right foot up on the side of the tub, to achieve proper akimbo state for easy access, whereupon I surrendered to the slutty soap and my salacious visions of her. No time for frills, both because I was running late for my morning walk and because even the gentlest and most moisturizing lather can be harsh on sentitive cockflesh when the masturbational manipulations overstay their welcome. So, I called up a sturdy, workmanlike vision of fucking her hard against the shower wall. Lifting her left leg with my right arm, opening her, hunching down and driving up into her. Hard, hungry, primal wet wallfuck. I could hear the wet sucking noises of my cock plunging into her, coupled with the wet sucking noises of her ass and lower back being slammed against the wall by the force of my fuckthrusts. Leaning down, sucking at her wet neckflesh, nipping, growling, pumping, ass clenching, hips rocking, the steamy sting of the shower spray driving me on, making me fuck harder, deeper, trying to fuck through her, empty myself in her. Knees nearly buckled with the force of the explosion. Just holding my cock and letting the spasms do all the work, riding the convulsive waves, expelling the seed with such force that it painted the shower wall, rope after rope of thick white heat anointing the wet tiles.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm surprised you arent paying child support by now, manseed. You (fantasize about) bone (ing) like a progenitor.

re Tom Waits---2 days ago I heard a jeep system blasting rap and the backing track sounded exactly like bone machine era waits. A nagging steel drum melody and what sounded like some retards banging on wooden blocks and random junk. Thought I to myself, the ghetto is catching up with us hipsters.

 

[kissmeonthe69]

Very hot!

Okay.

Impromptu shower jack this morning. I was innocently soaping my nethers, mind wandering in the realms whence it is prone to roam of late, but without intent to self-harm. Before long, though, I had a situation in my hand, so the decision to jack was in essence made for me by my cock (neither for the first time nor the last time). Right foot up on the side of the tub, to achieve proper akimbo state for easy access, whereupon I surrendered to the slutty soap and my salacious visions of her. No time for frills, both because I was running late for my morning walk and because even the gentlest and most moisturizing lather can be harsh on sentitive cockflesh when the masturbational manipulations overstay their welcome. So, I called up a sturdy, workmanlike vision of fucking her hard against the shower wall. Lifting her left leg with my right arm, opening her, hunching down and driving up into her. Hard, hungry, primal wet wallfuck. I could hear the wet sucking noises of my cock plunging into her, coupled with the wet sucking noises of her ass and lower back being slammed against the wall by the force of my fuckthrusts. Leaning down, sucking at her wet neckflesh, nipping, growling, pumping, ass clenching, hips rocking, the steamy sting of the shower spray driving me on, making me fuck harder, deeper, trying to fuck through her, empty myself in her. Knees nearly buckled with the force of the explosion. Just holding my cock and letting the spasms do all the work, riding the convulsive waves, expelling the seed with such force that it painted the shower wall, rope after rope of thick white heat anointing the wet tiles.

Thanks for the visual.....

 

[tortoise]

I'm surprised you arent paying child support by now, manseed. You (fantasize about) bone (ing) like a progenitor.

re Tom Waits---2 days ago I heard a jeep system blasting rap and the backing track sounded exactly like bone machine era waits. A nagging steel drum melody and what sounded like some retards banging on wooden blocks and random junk. Thought I to myself, the ghetto is catching up with us hipsters.

Heh. Progenitor. My cock calls the fantasy shots, and my cock likes to release its payload in warm wet confines.

Re: the Bone Machine backing. See, therein lies the (largely untapped) potential of hip-hop, and one of the reasons why I do rather enjoy the more innovative turntablist aspects thereof. In theory, your skilled and discerning turntablist's "instruments" are the entire history of recorded sound. A dauntingly huge palette, to be sure, so discipline is paramount, to ensure that the soundworld being created doesn't collapse into a muddled mess from too many ingredients.

(Fuck me running, could I have possibly mixed any more metaphors into that stew?)

 

[tortoise]

Thanks for the visual.....

My pleasure...

 

[Olivia_Yearns]

I'm breaking my self-imposed week of no lit posting to share one here.

Last night. 4 am. Can't sleep.

I imagine a bath. I've never had this jack before - being bathed, quite tenderly yet impersonally. Being prepared, like one of those life-sized dolls. Focus on just the sensation of being washed, then a towel, taken to bed clean and ready. Giving myself up to sensation. Very simple, really. Not much of a fantasy. I wasn't resisting or fighting anything. I came and burst into tears. A very deep orgasm. Cried like a baby and finally fell asleep.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm breaking my self-imposed week of no lit posting to share one here.

Last night. 4 am. Can't sleep.

I imagine a bath. I've never had this jack before - being bathed, quite tenderly yet impersonally. Being prepared, like one of those life-sized dolls. Focus on just the sensation of being washed, then a towel, taken to bed clean and ready. Giving myself up to sensation. Very simple, really. Not much of a fantasy. I wasn't resisting or fighting anything. I came and burst into tears. A very deep orgasm. Cried like a baby and finally fell asleep.

Beat it, pants. Your will is crying for its bottle in the cradle. Let's have no SIDS of the will here.

 

[Vikingstone]

I'm breaking my self-imposed week of no lit posting to share one here.

Last night. 4 am. Can't sleep.

I imagine a bath. I've never had this jack before - being bathed, quite tenderly yet impersonally. Being prepared, like one of those life-sized dolls. Focus on just the sensation of being washed, then a towel, taken to bed clean and ready. Giving myself up to sensation. Very simple, really. Not much of a fantasy. I wasn't resisting or fighting anything. I came and burst into tears. A very deep orgasm. Cried like a baby and finally fell asleep.

Powerful...I wonder what that's about...

 

[hogjack]

I'm several months behind in logging.

Is there a device that could be strapped to genitilia to automatically track this sorta thing? Then the data could be uploaded into some software.

 

[cjh]

I'm several months behind in logging.

Is there a device that could be strapped to genitilia to automatically track this sorta thing? Then the data could be uploaded into some software.

*eyeroll

there's a palm pilot accessory that does just that.

get with the times 'jack.

jeez.

 

[hogjack]

*eyeroll

there's a palm pilot accessory that does just that.

get with the times 'jack.

jeez.

I had NO idea. To think I've been doing this all by hand!

Thanks. I'll look into it further. Ya just can't beat technological solutions.

 

[Hester]

Does anyone wank in this thread anymore?

what? mental masturbation doesn't count?

 

[MechaBlade]

Been jacking too often to log them.

Anyway, today, I meant to jack to the scene of a woman getting beat so badly that she pisses herself in the process, as I promised Hester, but instead found myself wanting something else.

I perused my anal collection until I realized I wanted a dose of humilitation, my Original Fetish.

I've been on a humiliation kick today, thinking about a couple of stories I want to write. One story I want to write I don't want to have any sex, nudity or even pissing or shitting. Just a girl, completely embarrassed in front of a large group of people. The main selling point is that the story will be completely realistic, and probably have happened before, somewhere. I need to work out the details. It may end up being too vanilla and then I won't write it.

So I pulled out some translated manga (Japanese comics) and reread this one story "Kotone" in a book called "Overflow" with the best stories I've read in a graphic novel.

Kotone is about this female student who, at night, goes to this sex club that her female teacher and dominatrix evidently runs where Kotone reveals the super duper cumslut that she is. Taking 3 dicks at a time, drinking strange men's cum out of a glass, and smiling while she does it. So the female domme teacher reveals that they abducted Kotone's hugest crush, a male teacher also at the same school and tied him up and brought him to the club.

Kotone was always horrified that he might find out, and this is even worse. He's sitting there seeing Kotone covered in the cum of 10 men or so, and she's butt naked but for some boots and gloves.

So of course this is the most humiliating thing possible for Kotone, to be seen for the cumslut she is in front of her distinguished (and tied up and naked) teacher and what's more is the domme is pushing Kotone to fuck him and tell him how she really feels.

Kotone: I don't want teacher to see me like this!
Domme: Are you saying you don't want him? Is that what you're saying? ...Couldn't you just drown in the romantic atmosphere as two friends become lovers on their first date?

Even with a tied up male, that shit is fucking sexy.

The story ends somewhat ambiguously as to the future their relationship, and sometimes I like to think that yeah, he is indeed disgusted by her wanton lust, despite his boner at the time. And then he avoids her at school from then on.

Haha a girl getting turned down because of her lust. That's the type of role reversing humiliation that I crave.

I Oed and I Oed hard.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

Been jacking too often to log them.

Anyway, today, I meant to jack to the scene of a woman getting beat so badly that she pisses herself in the process, as I promised Hester, but instead found myself wanting something else.

I perused my anal collection until I realized I wanted a dose of humilitation, my Original Fetish.

I've been on a humiliation kick today, thinking about a couple of stories I want to write. One story I want to write I don't want to have any sex, nudity or even pissing or shitting. Just a girl, completely embarrassed in front of a large group of people. The main selling point is that the story will be completely realistic, and probably have happened before, somewhere. I need to work out the details. It may end up being too vanilla and then I won't write it.

So I pulled out some translated manga (Japanese comics) and reread this one story "Kotone" in a book called "Overflow" with the best stories I've read in a graphic novel.

Kotone is about this female student who, at night, goes to this sex club that her female teacher and dominatrix evidently runs where Kotone reveals the super duper cumslut that she is. Taking 3 dicks at a time, drinking strange men's cum out of a glass, and smiling while she does it. So the female domme teacher reveals that they abducted Kotone's hugest crush, a male teacher also at the same school and tied him up and brought him to the club.

Kotone was always horrified that he might find out, and this is even worse. He's sitting there seeing Kotone covered in the cum of 10 men or so, and she's butt naked but for some boots and gloves.

So of course this is the most humiliating thing possible for Kotone, to be seen for the cumslut she is in front of her distinguished (and tied up and naked) teacher and what's more is the domme is pushing Kotone to fuck him and tell him how she really feels.

Kotone: I don't want teacher to see me like this!
Domme: Are you saying you don't want him? Is that what you're saying? ...Couldn't you just drown in the romantic atmosphere as two friends become lovers on their first date?

Even with a tied up male, that shit is fucking sexy.

The story ends somewhat ambiguously as to the future their relationship, and sometimes I like to think that yeah, he is indeed disgusted by her wanton lust, despite his boner at the time. And then he avoids her at school from then on.

Haha a girl getting turned down because of her lust. That's the type of role reversing humiliation that I crave.

I Oed and I Oed hard.

I'm so scared of you

but, i heart you, bunches

 

[stirbird]

Haha a girl getting turned down because of her lust. That's the type of role reversing humiliation that I crave.

I Oed and I Oed hard.

I have very similar revenge fantasies toward men. I never O from them though, nor even get wet.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Mex, you are one of the perviest peeple @ Lit. You are the real deal.

 

[LowMurmur]

I'm breaking my self-imposed week of no lit posting to share one here.

Last night. 4 am. Can't sleep.

I imagine a bath. I've never had this jack before - being bathed, quite tenderly yet impersonally. Being prepared, like one of those life-sized dolls. Focus on just the sensation of being washed, then a towel, taken to bed clean and ready. Giving myself up to sensation. Very simple, really. Not much of a fantasy. I wasn't resisting or fighting anything. I came and burst into tears. A very deep orgasm. Cried like a baby and finally fell asleep.

I think you've been in that wimple too long; you're doing baptism-jacks. . .