I've never been good at dealing with REJECTION

[Reefkeeper]

I recently had a story rejected. It was to have been the third installment in the "Jennifer Tests Her Wings" series.

As you all may be aware the rejection doesn't go into much detail but it said something to the effect "Was there sexual contact with an underaged person?".

I reviewed the story and the answer was 'No!' There was no such contact. The only things which might be construed in that light are:

1. The wife in a happily married couple mentioned that their over 18 daughter contrived a situation years ago which resulted in the husband accidentally walking in on her teenaged girlfriend as she was emerging from the shower. It totally embarrassed him and he fled the room immediately.

2. The two girls sneaked around the outside of the house and once peeked through a window to watch her father masturbate (alone).

3. The two parents were doing the dishes and the wife laughingly commented that the friend of their daughter's occasionally caused him to get a "woody".

All the characters were over 18 and there was never any allusion to, suggestion of, or intimation made that there was any attempt at contact by any of the parties in years past.

Could the reviewer have made a mistake or did I commit some faux pas?

 

[Darkniciad]

I recently had a story rejected. It was to have been the third installment in the "Jennifer Tests Her Wings" series.

As you all may be aware the rejection doesn't go into much detail but it said something to the effect "Was there sexual contact with an underaged person?".

I reviewed the story and the answer was 'No!' There was no such contact. The only things which might be construed in that light are:

1. The wife in a happily married couple mentioned that their over 18 daughter contrived a situation years ago which resulted in the husband accidentally walking in on her teenaged girlfriend as she was emerging from the shower. It totally embarrassed him and he fled the room immediately.

2. The two girls sneaked around the outside of the house and once peeked through a window to watch her father masturbate (alone).

3. The two parents were doing the dishes and the wife laughingly commented that the friend of their daughter's occasionally caused him to get a "woody".

All the characters were over 18 and there was never any allusion to, suggestion of, or intimation made that there was any attempt at contact by any of the parties in years past.

Could the reviewer have made a mistake or did I commit some faux pas?

It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual contact. Whenever you're dealing with a character under 18, even in a flashback, you have to be as vague as possible.

You can get away with mentioning that they masturbated before the magical age, or lost their virginity, or maybe saw some naughty bits, but even the slightest bit of detail can push the censor button.

I think, from what you've written here, that both the situation where the daughter engineers the peek and the girls peeking in on the father may both be a bit too much information to make it past the censors. The father acknowledging sexual thoughts may be over the line too, if the friend is under 18.

It also sounds like those things are critical to the plot of the story, and that watering them down at all is going to remove too many foundation blocks of the tale. I have a feeling that this one might never make it through on Lit. You may have to put it up on one of the other sites that doesn't have an 18+ rule.

If you'd like me to take a look at the actual text to see if I think there's a way to put it within Lit's acceptable standards, drop me a line. I'll give it a shot, though it sounds like a long one from what you have here.

 

[Reefkeeper]

Okay, how do I do that? Do I post the story here? I'll try it as a cut 'n' paste. Remember all characters are over 18 at the time of the story.




JENNIFER TESTS HER WINGS
PART 3

<I>Please Note! This story might possibly be read as a stand alone but it’s infinitely more enjoyable if you go back and start with Chapter 1</I>


Jennifer kissed Charlie’s lips. She realized that she hadn’t the energy for much else at that point. She’d been having sex with him for close to forty-five minutes and it pleased her that Charlie was still going strong when she decided she’d had enough. Fifty-eight and still capable of the occasional marathon mixed in with the <I>Wham, bam, thank you Ma’am</I>s. She decided it was like ice cream; occasionally awesome but always better than lima beans. “What a great idea!”

Beverly was straightening up the kitchen when Jenn ran in naked. Jenn looked as surprised as was her hostess as she murmured, “Oops!”

Beverly said, “If you’re here for chocolate syrup, <I>you’re</I> washing the bed linens tomorrow!”

Jennifer laughed. “Actually I had this incredible urge for ice cream! Charlie’s is always 98.6!”

“Eat the ice cream off his scrotum and he’ll come back to life!”

“Is that true?”

“I have absolutely no idea but it might be fun finding out!”

Jenn grabbed the cleanser and started on one of the pots in the sink. “Do you always clean up at two in the morning?”

“I’d rather not face it in the morning and it won’t take all that long.” She took the pot from Jenn’s hands and continued cleaning.

Jenn got some <I>Cherry Garcia</I> from the freezer and put some in a bowl. She was about to put the ice cream container back when Beverly said, “You’d better add another scoop. You’ve got a lot of mouths to feed.”

Jenn looked puzzled and Beverly added, “I heard the telltale squeak from Carrie’s door. While you’re in here talking to me I suspect she’s in your room. I think it’s time we discovered whether she’s being supremely rude or not.”

When they opened the door to Jenn’s room they beheld a nude Carrie sitting astride Charlie’s back with a bottle of oil at her side giving Charlie a deep tissue massage. Carrie looked over her shoulder and said to Beverly, “Before you say anything Mother, don’t forget yesterday’s lecture about amenities and going ‘that extra mile’ to make our guests comfortable. As Jenn was otherwise occupied talking to you, I thought I’d extend our guest some of those amenities.”

Beverly answered, “I like your interpretation of common courtesies. Please don’t extend them to Uncle Walter when he comes to visit next month. I don’t think his heart can stand it!”

Jenn walked over to the foot of the bed and asked Carrie, “While you’re being so courteous would you mind flipping Charlie over onto his back so your mother and I can perform a scientific experiment?”

Charlie spoke up at that point. “There aren’t any knives involved with this experiment are there?”

Jenn laughed. “No, Charlie, no knives. You go ahead and enjoy your massage. I assure you that nothing Beverly and I will do will cause you to sustain any permanent injury!”

“Okay, but I’m still not sure I like the sound of that.”

The two women knelt at the foot of the bed and pulled on Charlie’s legs so his ass was right on the edge of the mattress. Beverly spread Charlie’s legs and lifted his package as she said to Jennifer, “Now put the bowl tightly under his scrotum wedged between his thighs.”

Jenn did so and Beverly released his privates so they were resting atop the bowl of ice cream. She let the semi-limp penis fall to one side.

“This is exciting! I always wanted to test this theory but Carrie’s Dad would never allow me use him as a test subject.” As Jenn put her face into the bowl and began licking the Cherry Garcia, Beverly took an iced tea spoon she had brought and began ladling some of the melted ice cream all over Charlie’s sack. Jenn kept licking.

A voice was heard from the bed’s pillow area. “Hey, that’s cold!”

“Shut up, Mister Taylor! What Jenn’s doing is for the advancement of science!”

Beverly took a spoonful of the ice cream and rubbed it against each of Charlie’s balls before eating it. “Jenn, Charlie’s balls don’t add any flavor to the ice cream, make a note of it!”

Jenn couldn’t reply all that well as she was sucking a testicle into her ice cream filled mouth. But at that point Charlie said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re the only clothed member of our company, Beverly. You’re more than welcome to join me and let these two minister to you as well.”

“Thanks ever so much for the offer but I’ve never done anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling Carrie’s father about and I think this would probably fall into that category.” She started to leave the room saying, “Good night, all!

Oh and Jennifer, the experiment worked!”

Jennifer laughed as she beheld Charlie’s rock-hard cock. “Yeah, I know.”

Charlie asked, “Jenn, would it be all right if I ate Carrie’s delicious looking pussy?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking Carrie that question?”

“Jennifer, I’m not stupid! I’m asking the correct person.”

Jenn had gotten on the bed and was lowering herself onto Charlie’s pole. She chuckled, “Sure, Charlie, be her guest!”

Carrie interrupted at that point. “If anyone cares it’s okay with me on one condition.

Charlie would you do me a favor and cum anywhere other than inside of Jenn? She’ll be on the pill by tomorrow but she’s been playing Russian-roulette up to now.”

Charlie looked shocked. He looked Jenn in the eye with complete incredulity as he said, “Of course, you’re unprotected! You were a virgin prior to Ben. Jennifer, why didn’t you remind me?”

Jenn looked sheepish. “We were having such a good time I was afraid it would detract from the sex.”

“Carrie, would you mind changing places with Jennifer? I want to make out with my brain-dead girlfriend.”

“Sure! Cowgirl Carrie reporting for duty.” She grabbed Charlie’s cock and after moistening the head with her pussy’s juices began to ride him. Jennifer snuggled up against him and played with his nipple with her tongue.

She asked, “I’m not going to get laid, am I?”

“You don’t deserve to get laid.” He pulled her up and kissed her eyes.

It wasn’t long before Charlie began to become increasingly involved with fucking Carrie. It seemed like when he had kissed Jenn a very few minutes before she was the center of his universe but, like sand through an hourglass, she could feel herself slide to the periphery. As Carrie slammed herself into his pubic bone she leaned forward grabbing his shoulders and digging her nails into his flesh as her breasts bounced over him. It surprised Jenn that she wasn’t feeling jealous but she supposed she was still basking in Charlie’s referring to her as his <I>girlfriend</I> earlier. She wanted to be as low profile as possible since the subject of protection with all the other men she’d had sex with hadn’t come up yet and she didn’t want it brought up!

Carrie woke up around 6:30 and slid out of bed to wander back to her own room. She was half-way down the hall when she heard sounds coming from the kitchen so she grabbed a robe from her closet and headed for the coffee.

She got within a few feet of the kitchen door when she smelled the potatoes and onions browning on the range. “Mmm, smells like a big country breakfast in the works. We must consider Charlie company since Jenn’s enough like family that she probably wouldn’t rate the full spread! Blueberry pancakes too?”

Beverly responded. “Yes, and that should tell you that I was going to fix them for Jenn anyway. I went to the market before I knew Charlie was going to join us and try to have sex with every female in the house.”

Carrie opened the door to the microwave. “This batch looks about done, should I put in another batch?”

“Please; there’s two pounds of bacon there and we might as well do it all. What we don’t have with breakfast we can raid for BLTs later. Besides, I’m sure your father and Sam are going to be looking for sandwiches when they get home later this afternoon.”

Carrie said, “Okay; by the way, last night was a FWO, right?”

“Definitely it’s for women only! Your father wouldn’t approve of Jenn and Charlie, and even if he accepted it he <I>really</I> wouldn’t approve of you having sex with Jenn’s new boyfriend! I’m not even sure I’m all that crazy about it!

Carrie you had no way of knowing how she’d react to your being in bed with him!”

Carrie tilted her head while considering. “Actually, yes I did. At least I knew how she <I>wanted</I> to react, how she thought she <I>should</I> react.

She’s still trying to get her head right after having been Charlie’s hired whore.”

Beverly shook her head. “That whole episode still frightens me to death! Do you have any idea how many girls in that profession are beaten and killed every year?

Besides, that was as much your fault as Jenn’s. As soon as you found out about her problem you should have let me know! I could have called Loraine Hollenbeck and Jenn could have stayed at her apartment on Central Park West!

Instead she winds up having unprotected sex with strangers to put a roof over her head! Let’s change the subject. I just heard the shower turn off. Someone else will probably be joining us soon.”

Carrie was setting the table when Jenn came into the kitchen dressed in jeans and shirt. Her feet were still bare. Jenn greeted Beverly, “Good morning. Everything smells yummy, what can I do to help?”

“Juice, you can put the juice out. There’s orange and grapefruit already poured in pitchers in the fridge. I’ve also got V-8 if anyone prefers.

How does Charlie like his eggs?”

Jennifer giggled. “I have no idea, I’ll go check.”

Jenn had barely disappeared down the hall when the front door burst open and Mr. Lewis came into the house. He sniffed the smell wafting from the kitchen and called over his shoulder, “I <I>told</I> you we’d make it in time for breakfast!”

Carrie ran up to her father and hugged him. “Welcome home, Pops.”

“Hi Honey, what’s for breakfast?”

They walked arm in arm toward the kitchen. “Mom made the <I><B>A</B></I> breakfast. I’ll set two more places.”

“Better make it three; Sam brought a friend along from the team.” He looked at the table. “You’ve already laid out for four! Who else is here?”

Carrie’s face went white when she remembered Charlie was still here. She was about to answer her father when a voice came from down the hall, shouting, “Charlie takes his eggs up just like me and he asked for three. I guess Carrie and I wore his ass out last night and he needs to restock his protein. He said he…”

Jennifer came around the corner and was silenced by the sight of Mr. Lewis standing in front of Sam and Donnie Petrocelli. All three looked temporarily frozen until Donnie took the lead and walked up to Jennifer. He hugged her, kissed her cheek and said, “Hey Jenn, you look great this morning.

We’ve been up all night and went fishing at dawn. We only caught one little trout which we released so we’re all starving!”

Jenn still couldn’t get her mouth to work but fortunately at that point Beverly came in with one serving platter filled with pancakes and another loaded with home fries.

“Jenn, I thought you were putting the juice out! Get your butt moving!”

Jenn was shocked into action and went for the kitchen. “Right away, Mrs. L.”

Carrie gave Donnie a peck on his cheek saying, “I already know how my Dad and Sam take their eggs and now we <I>all</I> know how Charlie likes them so that leaves you.”

Donnie squeezed Carrie’s waist, “Over easy, also three if there’s enough.”

Sam asked the question. “Who’s Charlie?”

Carrie answered, “A friend of Jenn’s who trained up from the City last night for dinner.”

Mister Lewis went over to the air pot which was set up on the kitchen pass-through and started filling coffee mugs. “Sam, you take over here, son. I’d better make another pot.”

Beverly brought out a plate of toast, English muffins and croissants. “Please! Everyone whose name isn’t Beverly or Jennifer please sit over. Food’s starting to get cold and it’s not that big a kitchen!”

Mr. Lewis sat at the head of the table and the scowl he’d sneaked at Carrie was nothing compared with the look his face donned when Charlie entered the room clad in a white shirt, grey slacks and a blue Annapolis blazer.

He reacted from habit and shook the hand extended to him as Charlie said, “Nice to meet you Mr. Lewis, Ray, so good to meet you. Rough break about the shoulder but the papers said the surgery went well. How does it feel?”

Ray took his turn shaking hands and responded, “Pretty good. Rehab’s a pain but my motion is getting better every day.”

Charlie held his hand out to Donnie. “Donnie P! I got to watch you play 24 games for the River Dogs before they sent you to Wilkes-Barre.

I only caught three games there but now that you’re with the big club I guess I’ll have to figure out how to take more meetings in New York!”

Donnie responded, “Twenty four games; are you from the Charleston area?”

“No, Birmingham, Alabama, but I <I>love</I> good defense and believe me you’ve got quite a few Gold Gloves in your future. And you can ask Jenn, I don’t believe in empty flattery!”

Charlie took over the table. Beverly could see her husband’s anger diminishing as Charlie paid homage to Ray and Don. Beverly smiled to herself thinking “The way to a man’s heart is to heap praise on his son!”

As Charlie spun his Svengali’s web around the men, even Jennifer relaxed enough to occasionally stroke his arm, basking in the reflected glory.

Sam had an appointment with a Doctor in White Plains and didn’t have to go to the ballpark, so Carrie volunteered to drive Charlie and Don back into the City. As Charlie and the girls drove off Mr. Lewis started clearing some plates from the table. When he started putting them in the dishwasher he turned to Beverly. “He’s almost as old as <I>my</I> Dad!”

Beverly continued scrubbing pans as she smiled, “Just about!”

“And please tell me I misunderstood it when Jennifer said that she and your daughter ‘wore his ass out!’”

“No, she meant exactly what you thought she meant!”

“And you’re not upset? This is all okay with you?”

Beverly sighed, “Oh maybe a little, at first, but someday when we’re snuggling in bed I’ll give you the whole story and I think you’ll be just as proud of ‘<I>my</I> daughter’ as I am of yours.

Oh she’s wild alright, but she’s really a rather together young lady. I know I wish I had a friend like her when I was a teenager!”

Jack Lewis sighed, “I guess I’m getting old.”

Beverly put her arms around him from behind. “No, you’re being a Dad and you’re a very good one!” She moved around so she was facing him. “Want me to demonstrate what the girls were doing to Charlie last night? I’m not wearing any panties.”

“Sam’s around!”

“Don’t be dirty! He does fine finding his own girls! Besides, he’s in his room texting everyone he knows.”

Beverly sank to her knees and opened Jack’s fly. She almost got his cock into her mouth when Jack grabbed her wrist and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “We’re going to screw on our bed with the door closed! I’m not going to try to get off worried whether my son is going to surprise us in the act!”

He threw Beverly down on the bed and finished removing his clothes. She had just rid herself of her jeans and panties when Jack came up in front of her and literally ripped the bra from her shoulders, pulling her to her feet as he did so. She wrapped herself about him and thrust her tongue deeply into his mouth as her nails raked his back. She pushed him down on his back on the bed and dropped to her knees between his legs.

“Jennifer kneeled here and grabbed his cock as she held a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream under his scrotum. She alternated licking the ice cream with taking each ball into her mouth.”

Jack was clutching at the comforter, his erection hard as stone. “Oh she did, did she?”

“Then she put the bowl aside as she deep throated his cock with three long strokes.” Beverly tried the same action but gagged when Jack’s cock was only half way into her mouth. “I’ll have to get Jenn to give me lessons. She obviously does it far better than I do!

Shall I ask her if we can use you as a test dummy when she demonstrates her technique?”

Jack groaned and said, “You shouldn’t talk like that!”

Beverly laughed, “Oh come on now! You’re not going to pretend that she hasn’t been giving you woodys since she was thirteen? Well are you?”

Jack looked completely embarrassed as he admitted, “Well, maybe once or twice.”

Beverly laughed again as she tongued his cock. “Tell me the truth, now. Are you aware of how many times Carrie set it up so you would accidentally walk in on a semi-dressed Jennifer?”

“She <I><B>never</B></I>!”

“Of course she did! Only six months ago Carrie told me about a time when she was fifteen. She was cleaning her reef tank in the den, waiting for the sound of the shower in her room to stop. As soon as it did, she asked you to help her by getting a net from her closet, claiming she didn’t want to drip on the carpet.

You walked into her room to find a nude Jennifer, fresh from the shower. You got completely embarrassed and ducked out of the room to come back here. Carrie ran to her room, threw a coat on Jenn and the two of them ran around to that window to watch you jerk off while thinking of that nubile body!” Beverly tried to take the entire cock down her throat once again.

“Seriously, I’ve got to at least ask her, she makes it look so <I>easy</I>!

Anyway while Jenn was playing ‘hide the sausage’ with her lips, our daughter was sitting on Charlie’s face letting his tongue minister to her lips!”

Jack’s breathing had become intermittent and he was thrashing his head from side to side. “What happened next?”

Beverly climbed onto the bed and eased Jack’s cock into her. As she started to pound away on him she said, “I have no idea. I shut the door at that point.

After all, I’m not a snoop!”

 

[Darkniciad]

I think these two lines are your critical problem:

since she was thirteen?

when she was fifteen.

I don't see anything here that says how old the girls are now, so you can probably drop the first one for something like "for years"

The second, you can probably drop it and combine the two sentences to put it within acceptable standards.

If you say anywhere that any of the women are "barely 18" or something to that effect, then it still may not get through. Otherwise, you leave it up to the reader to determine how long "for years" is, and how long it's been since the set-up.

Having the actual ages in there, with the amount of detail you have ( minimal as it is ) won't make it through. The 18+ rule is pretty strict.

If you feel that the actual ages are critical to the story, then there's little chance of it making it through the vetting process.

 

[Reefkeeper]

I think these two lines are your critical problem:





I don't see anything here that says how old the girls are now, so you can probably drop the first one for something like "for years"

The second, you can probably drop it and combine the two sentences to put it within acceptable standards.

If you say anywhere that any of the women are "barely 18" or something to that effect, then it still may not get through. Otherwise, you leave it up to the reader to determine how long "for years" is, and how long it's been since the set-up.

Having the actual ages in there, with the amount of detail you have ( minimal as it is ) won't make it through. The 18+ rule is pretty strict.

If you feel that the actual ages are critical to the story, then there's little chance of it making it through the vetting process.

Actually, I have no problem changing both those lines if that would do the trick!

The first one becomes:


Beverly laughed, “Oh come on now! You’re not going to pretend that she hasn’t been giving you woodys for quite a while? Well are you?”

Jack looked completely embarrassed as he admitted, “Well, maybe once or twice.”



and the second:


“Of course she did! Only six months ago Carrie told me about a time when Jennifer was spending the weekend with us. She was cleaning her reef tank in the den, waiting for the sound of the shower in her room to stop. As soon as it did, she asked you to help her by getting a net from her closet, claiming she didn’t want to drip on the carpet.

You walked into her room to find a nude Jennifer, fresh from the shower. You got completely embarrassed and ducked out of the room to come back here.


I hope this does the trick because this sets up a few occurences in the next chapter!

 

[Darkniciad]

Looks like that will do the trick to me. Gives you an idea of where the bar is for later submissions, too.

 

[SwallowItAll]

I think these two lines are your critical problem:
If you say anywhere that any of the women are "barely 18" or something to that effect, then it still may not get through. Otherwise, you leave it up to the reader to determine how long "for years" is, and how long it's been since the set-up.

I never understood why specific ages were so important in these things, in real life I have never met someone and asked their age in the same month probably. Just make the ages vague and it can be posted, shit you should go for it rather than let them never publish it. Just me 2 cents.