I've been thinking . . .

[Juspar Emvan]

The product of a job that leaves me way to much time for my mind to disengage, and a bloody muppet.

If I like to slide my hard cock up a womans bottom, what is so different about a mans bottom?

If it feels great when my girl sucks my dick, would it be any different if it were a man (apart from the fact that she is just too tallented to be surpassed?)

If I like it when she slips her vibrator up my rear, would a cock feel so different there?

From the point of view a purely physical sensation, would sex really be that different with a guy?

I mean, I am not attracted to men, I don't want to hold them, or kiss them or protect and love them. But, there are many things I do with a woman that can be replicated with a man. I have no desire to have another cock anywhere near my face . . . and now I think about it, I am turned off by the thought of tracing my tounge around a guys puckered anus. The thought of sexual relations with a man no longer makes me shudder.

What does this make me? I'm sure as hell not gay - anything. Bi - curious isn't quite right either. Perhaps bi-receptive?

Anyone else ever had these wonderings? Where do they lead?

 

[cymbidia]

MS and i have talked about those kinds of wonderings many times, Juspar. There's nothing at all unusual or strange or not-good about such thoughts. Indeed, i find them a natural and almost necessary outgrowth of a normal and active sex life, given that you both enjoy what you've said you share.

However, it takes a very secure man to admit such thoughts to himself, much less discuss them aloud. There's an ugly undercurrant of intolerance that bi-sexual, bi-curious, and perhaps your "bi-receptive" men have to wade through to be "allowed" to be curious about what such sensations might feel like.

That said, here's what MS and i have determined when we've talked about your "wonderings"...

If I like to slide my hard cock up a womans bottom, what is so different about a mans bottom?

Men's butts and women's butts feel different. Okay, some women feel like men and vice versa, but mostly, there's a distinctly different feel to you guys and us with regard to sliding hands over butts. However, in a sexually charged situation, those differences might be exciting, you know?

If it feels great when my girl sucks my dick, would it be any different if it were a man (apart from the fact that she is just too tallented to be surpassed?)

MS is a flirt. He flirts with the old ladies in the checkout line and the young women waitresses in Denney's. He flirts with everyone he talks to, and he talks to everyone we come across. I'm a flirt too; mostly it's not sexual. Mostly it's just plain contact with other people, you know?

However, MS flirts with everyone - and that includes Marty, the flagrantly gay guy who works in one of those mall booths. Marty looooooooves MS. MS is way secure in his sexuality and no one else's opinion (except mine) matters, so MS continues to flirt with Marty (who is jealous of me ~smirk~).

Marty has sworn to MS that a woman cannot possibly give a blow job the way another man can. MS can't quite believe Marty; i *love* oral sex and am good at it. But, well, he doesn't really know.

I wish someone with actual experience in this would chime in here. I mean, what could another man do that i can't do with all my years of practice and a real love for the deed, you know?

Is there a real difference? I'd like to know.

If I like it when she slips her vibrator up my rear, would a cock feel so different there?

Speaking from experience, vibrators and cocks up the back entrance, YES!

YES YES YES!
Oh gods YES!

Umm.
Sorry.

Yes, there is a difference.

A vibrator, even if attached to her hand or yours, is a toy. you know it's a toy. It can be a very, very good time, yes - but it's a toy.

A cock, now, warm and hard and slippery and attached to a body that's controlling the thrusts and bent over you... ohhhh. That's definitely a cut WAY above a toy in the excitement department. Well, for me, at least.

From the point of view a purely physical sensation, would sex really be that different with a guy?

I have heard that sex between men is rougher and more physical, generally speaking, than that between a man and a woman. somehow, i have to imagine that what MS and i do sometimes is WAY over past what most men do together in terms of roughness, but we're way out at the edge anyway and i know that.

I mean, I am not attracted to men, I don't want to hold them, or kiss them or protect and love them. But, there are many things I do with a woman that can be replicated with a man.

And why should you not think these thoughts, have these wonderings, these vague and ill-defined urges to explore? Why anyone automatically excludes half of the human race from the possibility of being a good, warm, exciting sexual partner is beyond me - but, then, i'm bisexual.

The thought of sexual relations with a man no longer makes me shudder.

Nor does it make MS shudder anymore. We may well do this, too, sometime in the middle future. Like me, he doesn't want to get to be old and be filled with the rumbling discontent of experiences unmet. He doesn't want to look back and regret what he didn't do, you know? He wants me with him should we do this, actively engaged and definitely a part of the thing because he is not gay but simply curious, perhaps only receptive. He's the most sexual man i've ever known and i rejoice to see him feeling free enough with me and himself to be so open about about such wonderings.

 

[p_p_man]

My gay friends call me Gay Friendly.

So I suppose you could be Bi-Friendly.

 

[Starfish]

Cym covered some very good points about the differences you might expriance.
Yes..... I'd call you Bi-sympathetic, bi- friendly.

You are just openminded. That's a good thing, so it doesn't really matter what you call it otherwise IMO.


Anyway, I really think that the sensations you might get from being with a man in the ways you have imagined, may be even more charged because of the lack of experiance you have, if you were to be with a man like that.

I am not sure what the differences are, myself, because I am not a man whose been with a man.

All this talk though, makes me want some anal stimulation.

*sigh*

 

[juicylips]

Curiosity

I admire you for facing these feelings and saying them.

I find nothing wrong in wondering or even pursuing these ideas.

Being honest with yourself. What a concept!!

Cassidy

 

[Guest]

Re: Curiosity

I admire you for facing these feelings and saying them.

I find nothing wrong in wondering or even pursuing these ideas.

Being honest with yourself. What a concept!!

Cassidy

Juspar,

Cassidy wrote exactly what I was feeling while I was reading your post. Wouldn't it be such a wonderful world if people were allowed the freedom to practice what they would like and not have to have any labels attached to them at all?

Consenting adults who would like to share in the joys and pleasures of each other should not have to be labeled one way or the other. To me, it's a natural curiosity that comes with feeling very confident about one's sexuality. To experiment and try new things with others who want to experience those same things would be quite wonderful.

Curiosity is what life is all about. Not everyone has the same levels of curiosity when it comes to sex. So what? That doesn't mean that we all need to eat vanilla ice cream or just chocolate ice cream. Life is there for us to live - to take and share and get as much as we possibly can from enjoying new things. Those new things can be anything at all.

Being honest about what we wonder about is how it should always be.

Always enjoy life - always be happy - and always seek what you desire. You just never know....

Enchanted

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[lobito]

Juspar, what you described doesn't make you gay, it just makes you open minded.

While I dont' think along those lines that you said above, I don't ahve a problem, and in fact openly admit it, that if a I want to do certain things to a woman, then she should be allowed to do them to me too.

Should that include a strap on in the backdoor, then I'll do it, if that's what it takes. That's not to say I want to experience a man doing the same though, BUT, I totally understand your thoughts about it too.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Juspar? allow me to introduce you to our newest member...

Bradley 2002

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55064

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

From the point of view a purely physical sensation, would sex really be that different with a guy?

For me - yes - it is different.

The reason why is that it is the mind that is involved in the sensation, and the mind knows whether it is a man, a woman, a dog, a monkey attached to the other end of that cock or tongue (real or not) - and that is all the difference.

Since I have no sexual attraction to men or animals, so yeah - it would be different. To me, the person I am having sex with is more than a cock or a pussy. Just as sex with another person is different from masturbation, so is sex with a different gender than you are used to - or another species for that matter.

If you can separate it out and can enjoy it, then more power to you; you have found another avenue for sexual enjoyment - but I cannot, and don't wish to try. Whether that makes you gay, bi, bi-curious, or bi-receptive is just a matter of semantics.

 

[bluntforcemama]

The fact that you're open-minded when it comes to sex (for starters) makes you incredibly attractive, and you're still so masculine. How do you do it?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

The fact that you're open-minded when it comes to sex (for starters) makes you incredibly attractive, and you're still so masculine. How do you do it?

He does me.

I mean....

 

[SweetCherry]

He does me.

I mean....

After the Kiwis again, Cheffie?

 

[TWB]

What is sex, actually, but controlled friction, a gay friend once pointed out to me. It is our predispositions that can mess with our heads.

I appreciate the honest query.

TWB

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Re: Re: I've been thinking . . .

Men's butts and women's butts feel different. Okay, some women feel like men and vice versa, but mostly, there's a distinctly different feel to you guys and us with regard to sliding

LMAO
I don't want to run my hands over them, I want to slide my cock deep insede the backdoor.


I found myself wandring around mindlessly at work and my mind wandered. The phrase 'I think, therefore I am' came about after whatever his name was, challenged everything he 'knew' bit by bit. Did he really 'know' it, or was it deducted from some other information, was it prejudice or assumtion, etc.

The question of an MMF threesome had been raised at some point, I was decidedly disinterested, though FFM rocks my imaginary world. In the mindless depths of the warehouse, I asked myself, Why? In that sort of sexual situation, would another man be a turn off. It lead to in internal debate the results of which you see above.

I have no desire, or even curiosity about a sexual encounter with a man, but if my partner decided she was interested in a threesome, I would be happy to oblige. And I'm sure we would all receive out pleasure.

Likewise, if the woman I love so dearly were ever to slip away from me, and in the absence of available female company, I could conceivably meet my physical sexual needs with a man. I don't believe it would meet all my needs however, there would be no love or affection. Those are three parts of the same thing, true sexual satisfaction can only come with physical pleasure, affection and love. lol, perhaps that's why masturbation just isn't as good as the real thing. Perhaps Myst is just that damn good (perhaps my arse, she's a goddess.)

I am comfortable in my sexuality. And you know what, that makes my love happy, which blows my mind.

 

[bluntforcemama]

"I think, therefore I am." Cogito ergo sum. - Descartes

 

[Juspar Emvan]

That's the bugger. Trust you darling.

 

[IA951]

juspar mvan, you raise some valid points.
One thing that I have a problem with
is this assumption that women are better at fellatio then men.
I have to disagree, who would know what a man likes better than a man?
this is our equipment..we've had it our whole lives..and handled it a great deal more than any woman has,
I should think.

In regards to being bi-curious or whatever else, I'm reminded of what Renton said in Trainspotting(an excellent movie, BTW)

"If you ask me we are hetrosexual by default not by decision.
It's a question of who you fancy.
It's all about aesthetics and it's fuck all to do with morality"

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Who said women were better? The whole point of the mental exercise was to throw out all assumptions. I did however say Myst was mind bendingly good.

 

[bluntforcemama]

This won't be as taboo as the male aspect of homosexuality/bi-curiousity, but I think most people have thought in depth about sex with a same-sex partner. The thought of oral sex with a woman doesn't exactly turn my crank, but I would be willing to try it if I knew that it would turn my partner on (who is obviously a man), because knowing that I'm pleasing my partner pleases me immensely. Of course, I don't think that a third party in our sexual conquests would be treated equally, or more than a distraction, which is why I wouldn't be inclined to bring a third person into our bedroom. It wouldn't be fair to them to know that we as a couple are in love with each other, and that the other person would be something of a toy. I would feel horrible about that. I've been asked to be in threesomes with two loving couples, but the more I thought about it, the more saddened I was. I don't think I could be the kind of person who could have "unattached" sex. For me, the emotions involved with making love to someone are too important, and add so much to how I feel with the person I'm with. I wouldn't have those feelings for either of the people if I was in a threesome without Juspar, and if I was in one with him, the other person would undoubtedly feel like a third wheel. I won't put the idea out of my mind, because I'm still thinking in depth about it. I find myself loving more than one person, I always have, but how, and to what degree is the key to my actions.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Who said women were better? The whole point of the mental exercise was to throw out all assumptions. I did however say Myst was mind bendingly good.

SHUSH!

 

[cymbidia]

MS and i have discussed, over and over, the details and minutia regarding what we’re likely to feel/need/want/desire from bringing a third party into a close sexual relationship with us. Whether that third is someone we see often or if they are an infrequent extra dash of seasoning to the sexuality that simmers, always, between us isn’t clear. Much would depend on that third, would it not?

Of course, I don't think that a third party in our sexual conquests would be treated equally, or more than a distraction, which is why I wouldn't be inclined to bring a third person into our bedroom. It wouldn't be fair to them to know that we as a couple are in love with each other, and that the other person would be something of a toy. I would feel horrible about that.

A year or so ago, MS and i went so far as to post an ad and seek, actively, for a third. We were very clear in our ad regarding who we wanted, and what he could expect from us.

In our minds, for us, it would be wholly dishonorable to pretend anything to a third. We revealed we were a collared pair, that the third would be an addition to our lovemaking but that nothing of permanence would come of his inclusion in our lives. We were very explicit and straightforward regarding what kinds of sexual things we wanted the third to be comfy with, and what he could expect from each of us. For example, the third had to be sub, had to be wholly bisexual, and had to be disease-free and willing to prove it. I would be a co-sub, neither below or above him, but he needed to know that the bond between MS and I was deep and permanent, that we were in love with each other.

In the space of a month, we got 10 or 15 good responses from the ad, and that’s not counting the responses we dismissed as entirely unsuitable at first read-through. We initiated email correspondences with three of them, then narrowed it to one by month’s end. We were definitely going to do it – but our worlds blew up and, well, that was the end of that one.

We will do it, though, eventually. We’ll be exceedingly honest with whomever we choose, too, because we expect honesty from them. Honesty IS the best policy.

I've been asked to be in threesomes with two loving couples, but the more I thought about it, the more saddened I was. I don't think I could be the kind of person who could have "unattached" sex.

I guess what’s at issue here is the degree that you wish your third to remain unattached.

Like you, i’m not one for sex with someone I don’t care about. Unlike you, at least so far, i’ve been in a few stable, long-term multi-partner sexual situations. My very first sexual relationship, as a matter of fact, was as sub to a house-sharing Master and Mistress.

When MS and i chose the one to communicate with, to learn about, to open ourselves to, we did that via email for a long time BECAUSE we wanted to know him much better before we actually all got together and took our clothes off. We wanted to care about him as a human, first, as another person on the planet, before there was anything sexual between us.

I don’t want to feel unattached from someone i’m touching intimately. Nor does MS. It’s why we couldn’t ever invite a third to our bed without some care for that person being present beforehand.

I won't put the idea out of my mind, because I'm still thinking in depth about it. I find myself loving more than one person, I always have, but how, and to what degree is the key to my actions.

And “to what degree is” the key to this for you, is it not? Remember though, if you have to push a thing too hard, maybe you’re better off not doing it.

 

[kiwiwolf]

What's this???

A Kiwi male thinking and expressing himself outside the accepted norms of Kiwidom? My god man! I'm scandalised...

Good on ya mate. I have often wondered similar things but sure as hell wouldn't have the balls to be so open about it. I was so worried about my feelings and thoughts that I talked to my partner about it. It took a long time for her to convince me that I wasn't "turning gay".

My lady and I are sometimes active with multiple partners both male and female and these thoughts have never got in the way of our enjoyment. If anything they helped me be more accepting of other men in our relationship.

Good on you for your openminded attitude. I wish more of us Kiwi men could be the same.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I suppose it comes down to a matter of security between myself and my partner. If we were to invite a third party into our bedroom, we would need to push all of our feelings of jealousy, fear, etc., away in order to be fair (at least somewhat). Everyone knows that I'm pretty much vanilla except for the occasional "tie me up, blind fold me and ravish me" moods that I get into. I think the vanilla aspect of a relationship is what makes threesomes so much more complicated; lines are fuzzier, and boundaries are easily pushed. I don't think I could control my emotions enough to invite someone into my bed without being totally in love with them. And if I was, then what of my relationship to Juspar? So, it would be my own shortcomings that would make a threesome so difficult, I think. I wish I could be less emotional, just a little.

You know, cym, that I could hardly concieve of putting myself into your knickers because it's just not a part of who I am, but I admire how much you and MS care for each other. I can understand how bringing a third party into your lives would be easier to a certain degree after you've set up the rules and expectations. I can't begin to tell you how special you are, or that the fact that you're willing to share your life with those who ask for thoughts and suggestions are always welcome, even in the midst of fear and distrust of the BDSM lifestyle. I just wanted to let you know that. I hope to see MS around here more often. I suspect he's busy(?). I want to hear more about his bisexuality!

 

[cymbidia]

Myst, MS is nearing the end of a job that's taken all his time and energy of late. He'll be relocating to the SF Bay area in the next week or so, as will i. After that, i think he'll have more time for doing things outside his work and other day-to-day responsibilities. He's already told me, however, that i'll be spending less time on Lit then, since that will be the beginning of our lives together.