i've been released

[amadaun]

i SHOULD probably stay in school but what degree should i get? i don't know what i want to do. Most people would tell me to get a liberal arts degree. What job is that going to help me get? i know for a fact that i can't do another 4 years of this. This past year and a half has been hard enough. i am not a book learner. i learn through experience. What is even harder is doing something that i have absolutely no motivation to do.

What do i do? i don't want to stay living with my family because they are definatly not helping in any way. That is a whole other story that i don't have the time or energy to go into right now. Please believe me when i say that this isn't an environment that promotes success. The thing is, i can't afford to move out on my own right now and if i moved in with my dad, things would be even worse.

Do i risk losing lots of time and money on school because i might not pass because of lack of motivation and a poor living environment? Do i risk having a sucky life becuase i don't go to college? Where am i more likely to be happy? Obviously only i can answer this question. i can't figure out the answer though. i don't know how i feel. Too much input. i am in overload.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and suggest that going to a traditional academic college right out of high school isn't the best thing for everyone to do (although dropping out mid-year might be a rash decision). Of course, only you know whether you're not doing well because it's a difficult time in your life or whether you actually are "not a book learner" and should be doing something else. But in my opinion there's too much pressure for absolutely everyone to do the academic thing, and it obviously doesn't always work out - as Barbara Ehrenreich showed rather well in her book "Bait and Switch".

Anyway - have you considered community college? You might be able to get a degree where you can learn more from hands-on experience, in something you're good at. The trades, computers, business - with a degree in one of these you're way more likely to find good employment (and pay) than as yet another English or Psychology major.

Also, I know you've mentioned you're a fellow Canadian. There are some great government programs you might not know about. Katimavik can be a really great thing to do when you don't know what to do with your life, it's really good work experience, you get to travel and it's free. Gets you away from home, too, a lot of my friends have had success with it and I wish I'd done it myself. You might also consider applying with Young Canada Works or FSWEP to get a government summer job that will pay, literally, assloads of money. (I have personal knowledge of both of these programs). Again, a way to get away from home for awhile, meet some new people and get your proverbial shit together.

Hope that helps a bit. It's good to have some options.

 

[Toa_lin]

everyone here is making big points about school, and I'm not denying they make good points and have their reasons. But what coems to mind to me is that you need to make the decision for yourself, otherwise in the future you'll still feel like you're doing it for others. If you choose to go to college, it'll be hard at first, but easier later, and will reap large rewards, if you choose not, it'll be easier at first, will be harder later, but in the end, you can still reap large rewards there. "Some of the happiest people on the planet are also the poorest... While often the richest are the saddest..."

I know I may not have helped you choose, all I'm saying is this isn't a black and white situation, that one way is right and one is wrong. I'm saying that what-ever you choose, if you're willing to work hard enough, you can still be happy.

Best of luck with what-ever you choose

 

[MasterPhoenix]

kailiey...

I made the decision to drop out of college when a former 'friend' and I were supposed to be creating this business... It turned out to be a mistake for Me, but you are not Me... and your milage may vary...

If you were not happy in that relationship, you did the right thing...

IF you need a friend rose & I are both willing to listen..

take care of you... you need it and you deserve it...

 

[kat_or_kitten]

i want to apologize for frustrating anyone with all of this craziness. i feel bad for doing that. my mother just voiced her frustrations with me. i am just trying to figure out who i am and what i am doing. i am trying to take people's experiences and opinions to heart. i am doing my best.

You really need to take it easier on yourself. Making such hard decisions, losing someone you love, it's all terribly hard, I know.

From my own recent experiences, I've pretty much decided to keep an open mind and wait-and-see what the future holds. Every time I think I understand the world, I'm proven wrong. But I do have faith that things will work out in the end, so I plan on taking it one day at a time, and taking care of myself along the way. I figure that eventually I'll figure it out, whether it's on my own, with friends, or with the person I love.

Maybe the same idea will work for you? Good luck with your journey and don't rush your decisions too much.

P.S. One more thing: never listen to your mother.That's never helped anyone...

 

[myinnerslut]

how did i miss this thread??

firstly kailey, i am very sorry about your relationship. i myself am struggling with whether or not to maintain my relationship with my boyfriend (still too angry to give him the respect i usually am more then glad to offer by calling him Sir). i am wishing you the best.

and since im the same age as you, im not going to bug you about school. or your job. im just going to say, think really hard before you do anything that will affect you for years to come.

 

[Zinfandel]

Kailey, I'm sorry that right now is such a rough time for you as you search for your own path in life. It won't always be so hard

May I make one additional suggestion? If you have the means to, perhaps you could consider seeing a therapist. Most of the people I've known who have spent any time in therapy have come out of it feeling like it was a really positive experience (myself included). I don't recommend therapy because I think there is something wrong with you - in fact, it's quite the opposite. I think there are lots of things very right with you, and perhaps talking to someone who can help you sort through all your options, without the bias that friends/family have, would be helpful.

I happen to be a really big fan of therapy and think that most everyone could benefit from it, lol. So please don't be offended by the suggestion.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

kailiey...

I made the decision to drop out of college when a former 'friend' and I were supposed to be creating this business... It turned out to be a mistake for Me, but you are not Me... and your milage may vary...

If you were not happy in that relationship, you did the right thing...

IF you need a friend rose & I are both willing to listen..

take care of you... you need it and you deserve it...

i am very willing to listen and i'm going to jump in here and say first of all ...a BIG ::hug:: to you for all that you are going through right now, and secondly i am going to say that i, too, dropped out of college and now wish i hadn't, i kick myself every day for doing it, and i can't go back because i owe student loans. but as Master said, you are not me, and if you are making this decision based on YOUR own needs..then it's probably the right one for you. i dropped out because my husband (at the time) was cheating on me, and i would sit in class and worry about whether my kids were being taken care of, where he was, who was with, etc...so VERY different reasons. just be careful hon, but it sounds like you know what you want. take the advice that works for you, and trash the rest, that's all you can do. you know what is right for YOU and that's all that matters. :::Hugs::: good luck to you!

 

[MikesDream]

Kailey,

I hope you find whatever you are looking for.

It's my Christmas Wish to you.

MD

 

[JupitersGirl]

If your mind's made up, I can't change it. I can only tell you that, with 10 years of hindsight, I realize now that dropping out of college was the biggest mistake I have made in my life. More than anything. I have lots more mistakes to come, but the biggest mistakes are the ones made early on, because of the way they alter your life. For me, dropping out of school was a huge mistake. I hope it works out for you the way you want it to.

Haleluya sister!!

If there was just one thing I could change in how I have lived my life, it would be to have stayed in college. And yes, I did try to go back later. It's double the work and double the pain.

If there is one bit of advice you take from this thread ... please, please, please ... get as much education as you can while you can. You will never, ever, regret it.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck!

 

[agibean]

I'm going to echo a lot of other posts here

Try to find a way to stay in school. Look at yourself to find what you enjoy and how you could apply a college degree to that. My niece-your age, loved to "play office" as a kid, so she majored in business and marketing. Come to find out, now that she's worked in the business world since her graduation last June, is that she'd actually rather do something else...but her business degree and work experience through school will help get her in the door in other areas, like editing and possible non-profit fundraising, even though she didn't "major" in it.

Try not to think of what you're doing as chaining you to a specific career for the rest of your life. You can always transfer at least some of what you learn into other jobs.

I've had a lot of people tell me that two books are helpful in deciding what to pursue-"Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow" and "What Color is Your Parachute?" If you don't want to do the reading, maybe talking to a school advisor would help?

I finished college, and while I now do work related to my degree, I've had other jobs not related in the least. But having the degree at all got me in the door for interviews.

I'd also suggest that since you plan to make a number of major life changes that you don't do it alone-find some real life person that you trust, like a counselor, to help you plot out the next steps you need to take. I was fortunate to have a close, supportive family when I amde my major life changes, but I know that's not all too common. It really does help, though ,if you're not dangling out there alone when you try to find your way.

Good luck!

 

[chris9]

Kailey, I'm sorry you're going through so much at present.
I did not read all the replies I got. I just thought I'd chime in with a non-US view-point regarding college matters.
Here there are learning programs that combine practical experience/learning on the job and college. In these programs the college part is usually not as scholarly as the universities. They get you a lower degree than regular college does, but since the companies participating have to pay money for the students, they usually give them jobs afterwards. Maybe there's something similar in Canada? Maybe even in the travelling field you say you're interested in?

Another thing, I can understand that having one big clean cut from all or most things of one's life can help to get started better into a new life. The same has been happening for me. It's tough. Incredibly hurting tough. And it takes some time to get better (two months have not done much for me). But I firmly strongly believe that it WILL get better in the end. PM me if you need to talk.