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It's not just a job.....

ABSTRUSE

ABSTRUSE

Cirque du Freak
Joined
Mar 4, 2003
Posts
50,094
It’s another writing exercise!

Vocations are the theme, ranging from the dark to the light. Pick one or more and write a little scenario, in any format you choose. Let your creative juices flow.

We’ll go from dark to light, shall we?

*Coal miner who accidentally hits on diamonds

·Circus Freak considering surgery

·Pimp/Prostitute who is also a friend of Christ

·Mortician who aspires to do stand-up comedy

·Plastic surgeon who works on the Osbourne family

·Animal rescue agent who must figure out how to remove a giraffe secretly raised in a townhouse basement and got too big.

·News reporter’s last day at work covering a local Pie eating contest.

·Aging actor/actress having to work at Walmart as a greeter

·A televangelist who gets caught buying viagra and condems.

·
A reporter trying to interview a figure skater who did their program with a part of their anatomy hanging out and are still unaware of it during the interview

·A waiter/waitress working the breakfast shift who gets sexually aroused whenever someone asks for a side of bacon/sausage

·A chef who discovers, after the soup de jour is served at a posh wedding, that a family heirloom pin/earrings/ cufflinks are missing

Feeling up to it???
 
im up for it.. ill have something by tomorrow..
wwwwweeeeeeee!!!
 
ABSTRUSE said:
It’s another writing exercise!

Vocations are the theme, ranging from the dark to the light. Pick one or more and write a little scenario, in any format you choose. Let your creative juices flow.

We’ll go from dark to light, shall we?

*Coal miner who accidentally hits on diamonds

·Circus Freak considering surgery

·Pimp/Prostitute who is also a friend of Christ

·Mortician who aspires to do stand-up comedy

·Plastic surgeon who works on the Osbourne family

·Animal rescue agent who must figure out how to remove a giraffe secretly raised in a townhouse basement and got too big.

·News reporter’s last day at work covering a local Pie eating contest.

·Aging actor/actress having to work at Walmart as a greeter

·A televangelist who gets caught buying viagra and condems.

·
A reporter trying to interview a figure skater who did their program with a part of their anatomy hanging out and are still unaware of it during the interview

·A waiter/waitress working the breakfast shift who gets sexually aroused whenever someone asks for a side of bacon/sausage

·A chef who discovers, after the soup de jour is served at a posh wedding, that a family heirloom pin/earrings/ cufflinks are missing

Feeling up to it???
Click to expand...

Oh fuck, the bitch turns up after my full day posting? I write porn 24/7, its boring (I know) as HELLLL! :)
 
Last edited:
Re: Re: It's not just a job.....

CharleyH said:
Oh fuck, the bitch turns up afte my full day posting? I write porn 24/7, its boring (I know) as HELLLL! :)
Click to expand...

Use your muse to do one of these then bitch.:p
 
James Wahibi was hanging out on the streetcorner of Jeruselum watching the passing faces waiting for one of em to step away from their friends and have a word with the nice brother with the feather in his cap.

He would then look 'em up, check their character, whisper a little to the girls and one would rendezvous with 'em at a local and sympathetic hostel that didn't cater to the strictness of the Pharisees.

That's because James Wahibi was a pimp.

Many people would shout sinner at this point. Would rail against his misuse of naive girls and weak-willed men. Would say he was a greedy wastrel, a misogynistic pig, and an utter failure of society.

But that's because people don't know JW. James was straight and narrow with a pointy end. You ask him about his bottom line and you find he aint got one. He refused to take the customers that looked rough and would never push a girl to work when she didn't want to or with who she didn't want to. Whatever he did make from this poor show of business often went to living expenses or helping the ex-prostitutes of the city live their retirement in peace and comfort. Many a diseased whore beaten and battered from a cruel pimp would find themselves at a dead end with a broken bottle in hand looking up at a man in a purple feathered cap extending a helping hand.

Their was a kindly old women on Fourth and Main indistinguishable from the other old wives except for perhaps a more detailed knowledge of the carnal pleasures, who owed her place their to James's aid.

So, James in all had three reputations. To the "faithful" men and "proper" women, damnation wouldn't be hot enough. To the orphan and bad girls who had nowhere else to turn and the men who got their pleasures in elicit but calm manners, he was a better man than the Pharisees. And to a man known only as JC in the underground, he was known as:

"What up dog, you hangin' cool blood?"

"Oh fuck ya-oops sorry bro, slip of the tongue. Ol' JC. I ain't seen you in months. Where you been?"

"Oh, here and there dog. I got me a posse now. Still trying to fight the good fight. Spread peace and love and all that jazz."

"I hear, I hear. So, do I get to meet your new bros?"

"Sorry man, they don't sit well with the whole scene. Especially Paul. He's a real tight-ass. Sometimes I wonder if I'm reaching him. Sorry, bro, I'm not offending am I?"

"JC, ya aint ever gonna offend ol me. I don't care what some square old dudes think about my scene. They probably think us Nubians are only good for this and liftin' anyway."

"Hey, man, don't be dissin'. They're not like that, k?"

"Aight, aight. We cool. Still don't understand why I can't join you. I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind a bit o' the ol' tour. The new stuff might vibe with em after all, give em some hope."

"Nah, it's tough enough as is. I have to talk all in riddles and haughty deeds jus' to get someone to listen to me. Not my fault I look a little darker than most and don't talk no playa hatin'. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother."

James pushed himself back in shock. "What's dis shit, bro? You ain't ever backed down from no damn challenge. You said, yo gonna change things. Make it real, stop the bs and playa hatin, and teach love and peace and all that."

"Yeah yeah. I know, bro."

"Hey man, gotta have faith. It'll all be coo in the end. You come down here when it's all over and don't let the Roman cats or Pharisee honkeys ice ya or bad vibe ya."

JC looked up at him. "You a real friend James, even if you gotta funny name."

"Hey don't diss the name or threads man. They stylish."

"Sure they are," JC snorted in an attempt to swallow the laugh.

"Yeah, yeah yo right. But it's expected in this business. No one takes yo seriously if you aint got the hat. Anyway, nuff about me, I heard on the rumor mill, you bagged yourself a sweet little number. Mary something."

"Mary Magdalen," JC said dreamily. "But I ain't bagged er. I don't er..."

JW slapped him heartily on the back with a big laugh. "Yeah yeah, want to do it right and proper. Plus women don't fit in with the act. Being the son of a god would be a lot easier if people didn't have so many bloody beliefs about what a son of a god is like."

"I hear ya, bro. Oh do I hear ya. Still, once I get the Pharisees to listen and set up the posse, I'm gonna settle with er. Get married, do it right and all."

"Sounds coo, not my bag, but all coo. Anyway, be seeing yo later, punk ass deity gotta make at least a little or my girls don't eat."

"Right right, I'll drop by later JW."

"You too JC. Hang loose and don't get hung up."

"Gotcha."

A month later, JW was at the cross yelling at a crowd of idiot apostles and putting up a makeshaft stepladder too late to save Jesus.

JW and MM never forgave the 12 for how they just stood by while it happened which is why they received such crappy downgradings in the final version.

But both of em had loved Christ. One like a bru'ver and one like a luv'ver. And they always kept JC's true immortal words close to heart.

"Peace and love, yo, and stop all the hatin'."






Might expand it later, but it was too tempting an idea to let die on its own.

P.S. To any folk I have accidentally hurt or insulted with the work above, I apologize. I was, in the sense of the repeated folly that are last words, just trying to be funny.
 
LC
speechless. LOVED IT!
you scare me...its the intelligence, i think. *grin*
more! more!
 
Straight up Christian type here and I thought it was brilliant JC :) Very thought provoking!
 
Circus Freak considering surgery

I really like this challenge. Might have to do another after this one too! Thanks Abster!

~~~~~


Dear Diary,
It’s been a very long time since I’ve written so; I thought I would dust off your jacket and put pen to paper once again.

First off, I should mention that I have yet to see the surgeon about my claw hand, beard, or triple jointed-ness. I am considering it at this point, but thought that now would be a good time for contemplation of my life before such a drastic change.

Let me start from the beginning of my odd time so far. Last year, I was abducted into the circus. At first, I was a bit surprised as it had never occurred to me to enlist in the carnival circuit. My life had become a bit of a bore and I was seriously considering agoraphobia. I know, I know, not something I can just delve into without serious energy, but because my one friend had started to cringe every time I would call, I thought … ‘Hey, just live a solitary life, write porn for the internet and let everyone think you are some sex goddess…no one ever need know you are a freak.’

I was on my way to the supermarket when I was “pressed” or shanghaied into the circus. It wasn’t truly a choice. I remember the day, vividly. The sun was shining and the birds were singing and I was in my own world, walking on my hands and enjoying the sights. All of a sudden, a man with black stripped pants and top hat appeared out of no where.

“Ma’am,” he said. “You are truly a phenomenon! Why, people from far and wide would pay to see you. Step right up and sign this contract and I promise you that you will find riches like you have never dreamed of in your life.”

How he could tell I was female, struck me as brilliant. Most people just don’t know what to make of me and I have been called “Pat” for so long that even I question my gender. You know the whole Saturday Night Live skit; Is it a man? Is it a woman? If it hadn’t been so funny, it would have been very sad, indeed.

I digress. I started working right off; knowing that if I saved my money, I would be able to, at long last, have surgery to correct my biological anomalies. So, I began in the side-show, just sitting on a chair and doing my normal, every day stretches. You know, bending in half, like a pretzel. Sometimes I would speak to the circus goers but that was a rare occasion. Mostly, people would come in and gawk, point, or scream when they saw me. Some would actually ask if I was a relative of the Elephant man. How drool!

After some time, my tent mate, Rubberman and I began to talk. We would do our show and spend time sitting in our trailer sipping smoothies and eating doughboys. We got really close and I do believe he fell in love with me.

This is where my conundrum comes into play. I fell for Rubberman, yes, and he for me. We moved into the same trailer and were intimate. God, I wish I could relate to you the positions we can get into! Fabulous, I tell you!

Anyway, last week, whilst I was in the middle of my show, a surgeon asked to speak with me. “Freak,” he said. “I can help you.” It was like a crack dealer waving a baggie under my nose. I untangled my limbs and walked up to him on my hip bones (this happens after prolonged posing, I just can’t get my feet to do the walking), taking his card from his hand with my claw. As I read his credentials, I got ass tingles for the first time in my life or maybe it was the liberal sprinkling of peanut shells on the ground. Why, I could be close to normal!

The only catch in Dr. Plastic’s scheme is that I must do another circuit. Only this time, it would be one of those medical training things. You know, before and after shots like they do on T.V. He would fix my claw and do laser treatments on my beard. I could become a great beauty.

How can I leave my Rubberman, the circus, and all my friends to become normal? I don’t know, dear diary, what I should do. So, I close this entry, still hovering in that great wasteland of hope and confusion. But, never fear, my friend, I will keep you posted on my decision as soon as I make one.


Yours, sporadically,
Freak Woman.
 
Lucifer_Carroll said:
James Wahibi was hanging out on the streetcorner of Jeruselum watching the passing faces waiting for one of em to step away from their friends and have a word with the nice brother with the feather in his cap.

He would then look 'em up, check their character, whisper a little to the girls and one would rendezvous with 'em at a local and sympathetic hostel that didn't cater to the strictness of the Pharisees.

That's because James Wahibi was a pimp.

Many people would shout sinner at this point. Would rail against his misuse of naive girls and weak-willed men. Would say he was a greedy wastrel, a misogynistic pig, and an utter failure of society.

But that's because people don't know JW. James was straight and narrow with a pointy end. You ask him about his bottom line and you find he aint got one. He refused to take the customers that looked rough and would never push a girl to work when she didn't want to or with who she didn't want to. Whatever he did make from this poor show of business often went to living expenses or helping the ex-prostitutes of the city live their retirement in peace and comfort. Many a diseased whore beaten and battered from a cruel pimp would find themselves at a dead end with a broken bottle in hand looking up at a man in a purple feathered cap extending a helping hand.

Their was a kindly old women on Fourth and Main indistinguishable from the other old wives except for perhaps a more detailed knowledge of the carnal pleasures, who owed her place their to James's aid.

So, James in all had three reputations. To the "faithful" men and "proper" women, damnation wouldn't be hot enough. To the orphan and bad girls who had nowhere else to turn and the men who got their pleasures in elicit but calm manners, he was a better man than the Pharisees. And to a man known only as JC in the underground, he was known as:

"What up dog, you hangin' cool blood?"

"Oh fuck ya-oops sorry bro, slip of the tongue. Ol' JC. I ain't seen you in months. Where you been?"

"Oh, here and there dog. I got me a posse now. Still trying to fight the good fight. Spread peace and love and all that jazz."

"I hear, I hear. So, do I get to meet your new bros?"

"Sorry man, they don't sit well with the whole scene. Especially Paul. He's a real tight-ass. Sometimes I wonder if I'm reaching him. Sorry, bro, I'm not offending am I?"

"JC, ya aint ever gonna offend ol me. I don't care what some square old dudes think about my scene. They probably think us Nubians are only good for this and liftin' anyway."

"Hey, man, don't be dissin'. They're not like that, k?"

"Aight, aight. We cool. Still don't understand why I can't join you. I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind a bit o' the ol' tour. The new stuff might vibe with em after all, give em some hope."

"Nah, it's tough enough as is. I have to talk all in riddles and haughty deeds jus' to get someone to listen to me. Not my fault I look a little darker than most and don't talk no playa hatin'. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother."

James pushed himself back in shock. "What's dis shit, bro? You ain't ever backed down from no damn challenge. You said, yo gonna change things. Make it real, stop the bs and playa hatin, and teach love and peace and all that."

"Yeah yeah. I know, bro."

"Hey man, gotta have faith. It'll all be coo in the end. You come down here when it's all over and don't let the Roman cats or Pharisee honkeys ice ya or bad vibe ya."

JC looked up at him. "You a real friend James, even if you gotta funny name."

"Hey don't diss the name or threads man. They stylish."

"Sure they are," JC snorted in an attempt to swallow the laugh.

"Yeah, yeah yo right. But it's expected in this business. No one takes yo seriously if you aint got the hat. Anyway, nuff about me, I heard on the rumor mill, you bagged yourself a sweet little number. Mary something."

"Mary Magdalen," JC said dreamily. "But I ain't bagged er. I don't er..."

JW slapped him heartily on the back with a big laugh. "Yeah yeah, want to do it right and proper. Plus women don't fit in with the act. Being the son of a god would be a lot easier if people didn't have so many bloody beliefs about what a son of a god is like."

"I hear ya, bro. Oh do I hear ya. Still, once I get the Pharisees to listen and set up the posse, I'm gonna settle with er. Get married, do it right and all."

"Sounds coo, not my bag, but all coo. Anyway, be seeing yo later, punk ass deity gotta make at least a little or my girls don't eat."

"Right right, I'll drop by later JW."

"You too JC. Hang loose and don't get hung up."

"Gotcha."

A month later, JW was at the cross yelling at a crowd of idiot apostles and putting up a makeshaft stepladder too late to save Jesus.

JW and MM never forgave the 12 for how they just stood by while it happened which is why they received such crappy downgradings in the final version.

But both of em had loved Christ. One like a bru'ver and one like a luv'ver. And they always kept JC's true immortal words close to heart.

"Peace and love, yo, and stop all the hatin'."






Might expand it later, but it was too tempting an idea to let die on its own.

P.S. To any folk I have accidentally hurt or insulted with the work above, I apologize. I was, in the sense of the repeated folly that are last words, just trying to be funny.
Click to expand...


Luc............brilliant. Quite brilliant. Possibly one of the most thought provoking pieces I've read in a while. I have a close friend who is a priest, mind if I send it to her? I'm should she'd find it very interesting point of view.

Mat :rose:
 
matriarch said:
Luc............brilliant. Quite brilliant. Possibly one of the most thought provoking pieces I've read in a while. I have a close friend who is a priest, mind if I send it to her? I'm should she'd find it very interesting point of view.

Mat :rose:
Click to expand...

Be my guest.

Though you might want to hide where and from who you got it. :devil:
 
Lucifer and vella, you have reached beyond my expectations:kiss:

Luc, you're approach was fly bro.......I mean really fresh.

vella, I knew you would take the freak and made it into a beautiful saga of an ugly girl who found love.

Now I have to finish mine........woohoo.

Keep going folks........this one is too fun.:cool:
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Lucifer and vella, you have reached beyond my expectations:kiss:

Luc, you're approach was fly bro.......I mean really fresh.

vella, I knew you would take the freak and made it into a beautiful saga of an ugly girl who found love.

Now I have to finish mine........woohoo.

Keep going folks........this one is too fun.:cool:
Click to expand...

thank you baby..
i think im going to do the mortician next
this is way too fun!

and then there is that other thread too!
yehaw!
 
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