TheIntrepidBoyager
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2025
- Posts
- 144
So, I think for a lot of us, like any relationship, things aren't always a perfect picture of Dominant and submissive.
I recently wrote about this on my blog: https://theintrepidboyager.blogspot.com/2025/11/its-not-always-dildos-and-roses.html
But I also thought it might be interesting to discuss here. I'm sure it has been in various ways many times but I thought a fresh, dedicated, thread might be good.
As I write about in my blog post, we're getting older and there's times when our joints just don't want to cooperate. Looking at you knees... And that can be frustrating for both. But all of us are human and with that comes emotions.
Clearly we want emotions in our dynamics, that's why we do it. But with those specific emotions, comes all the others as well and 100% believe in listening to those emotions and working through them. D/s is after all, just an overlay on an underlying relationship.
Yes, I know there are strict slave-style dynamics but those are the extreme and most of us are not participating in that sort of thing. Dominants and submissives can off days, or even weeks. There can be miscommunications and misunderstandings. There can be new emotions that scare us and we're not sure how to work through them or we just lash out from the anxiety of the new experience.
As I also discuss in the blog, I think the term "topping from the bottom" is an over used and all-to-easy way to dismiss a situation. If it is always applied when a sub pushes back, then the natural conclusion is slavery and again, that's not the scene most of us are going for.
So what say you folks? How do you handle the ups and downs and what advice would you give to others?
I recently wrote about this on my blog: https://theintrepidboyager.blogspot.com/2025/11/its-not-always-dildos-and-roses.html
But I also thought it might be interesting to discuss here. I'm sure it has been in various ways many times but I thought a fresh, dedicated, thread might be good.
As I write about in my blog post, we're getting older and there's times when our joints just don't want to cooperate. Looking at you knees... And that can be frustrating for both. But all of us are human and with that comes emotions.
Clearly we want emotions in our dynamics, that's why we do it. But with those specific emotions, comes all the others as well and 100% believe in listening to those emotions and working through them. D/s is after all, just an overlay on an underlying relationship.
Yes, I know there are strict slave-style dynamics but those are the extreme and most of us are not participating in that sort of thing. Dominants and submissives can off days, or even weeks. There can be miscommunications and misunderstandings. There can be new emotions that scare us and we're not sure how to work through them or we just lash out from the anxiety of the new experience.
As I also discuss in the blog, I think the term "topping from the bottom" is an over used and all-to-easy way to dismiss a situation. If it is always applied when a sub pushes back, then the natural conclusion is slavery and again, that's not the scene most of us are going for.
So what say you folks? How do you handle the ups and downs and what advice would you give to others?
