It's me

See, that almost sounds like you're saying that you like having me around and would miss me if I decided to wander around at random.
 
You can wander anywhere you like. I’ll call when I want you back.
 
With the rare exception of my cat cats don't come when we're called, we do what we want. Cus you know it's what we want. We don't bring you gifts we bring you near dead things so you can prove that you would be able to eat without us.
 
You work too hard trying to prove you’re a jerk. I’ve already seen the teddy bear and pulled out its stuffing.
 
You have no idea how not funny that is. I had a teddy, his name was pookie, named after Garfield's teddy bear and the stitching on his nose/muzzle was bad and every few years I had to have someone fix it. I gave it to my ex so she could keep it safe when my family moved and her mom threw it out because he was broken. It's been seventeen years, believe me I'm more than capable of harboring a grudge for decades. In second grade one of my friends parents got divorced and he started being a dick and one day I told him that I was not a punching bag. Sure I'd love to hear from him again but I'm still pissed about it. There is a man I haven't spoken to in just about two decades but when we trade the occasional text he still calls me his best friend and I call him the same.

I am a jack ass, but I'm icy hot stay on the right side where I store my ponies, not the left side where I store that part of me that has no interest in anything but murder and mayhem.
 
Those are cute stories. You told me the teddy bear one before. I’ve never loved stuffed animals, but if you substituted book, I guess I can see how you could be heartbroken.

I remember loaning a book to a college professor and he never gave it back. I don’t recall the title, just the lesson. Don’t let people touch your things.

I don’t like being told where I can or can’t go. I’ll bring the shovel. Let’s dig.
 
But I don't want to bury you, I want to love you and hold you and snuggle you until you are trying to figure out ways to get me to go away.

Greetings and salutations Starlight Glimmer, you are hensforth glimmer, look it up if you don't already know. It's a delight to meet you.
 
You also want to collar, punish and control me. Don’t forget those sweet nothings.

Maybe if you bury me I’ll come back as your barbie girl. You can dress me up, dress me down, spin me round and round. We could have a non pet sematary happy ending.

Hi me
*wave*
 
People are always free to want what they want from me. Don’t confuse that with me entertaining those desires. I don’t think they have anything to do with me. It’s like your grocery list. You can show it to me, but why? I don’t do your shopping :)

Keep the dream alive. I’ll keep up the tease.

❤️
 
I don’t always enjoy you. Sometimes you’re an ass, but I enjoy you more than I don’t.

Would you like my bra for more support?
 
The gift that never stops giving. I bet people love you at Christmas.
 
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