It's difficult for men to make me orgasm.

[rainiebabie]

I'm 26, F, from the USA.
I love sex, and everything about it. The different kinks, communities, the fact it can be sentimental and emotional or quick and shameless.
I lost my virginity at 19 to my college boyfriend. It was OK. We had a very strange sex life for those three years which I probably do not need to get into specific details about but the only time he could ever make me orgasm was when I was flat on my back while he fingered my pussy and I rubbed my clit. Usually the fingering needed to be fast and deep and towards my back. I strictly did the clit rubbing.

After we broke up that continued to be the only position I could ever orgasm in with other partners. The fingering had to be in the same fashion as well. Fast, deep, towards the back.

I enjoy penetration, and in certain positions it feels amazing but if I were to orgasm I would definitely need the conjunction of my bullet vibrator now.

I'm just wondering...is this normal? Am I bound to only having an orgasm in this position for the rest of my life? When I masturbate I can orgasm in whatever position I please as long as I have my toys (specifically with the bullet vibe). But when it comes to men I have used that vibrator in doggy or missionary and it is just not the same.

And before anyone is curious, no I have not orgasmed from oral either. My college boyfriend was disgusted by it and never performed. I have since had head from various men and it is enjoyable but I can't get the thought out of my head that they are going to be disgusted by me. Along with that I just can't figure out how to 'tell them' what to do. They usually give up in ten or so minutes and we move on.

 

[Brains_N_Boobs]

Please post some spread pics so we may analyze your anatomy. TIA

 

[rainiebabie]

Please post some spread pics so we may analyze your anatomy.

Insane, LOL.

 

[Hank96]

I can’t believe he was disgusted by the thought of feasting on a delicious snatch! That should be a good time for him and an even better time for you, especially if you enjoy it! Definitely his loss and good riddance haha

 

[rainiebabie]

I can’t believe he was disgusted by the thought of feasting on a delicious snatch! That should be a good time for him and an even better time for you, especially if you enjoy it! Definitely his loss and good riddance haha

He's not the first man I've heard that is not into it, but he was also young. Years later we reconnected and he said he would try it but we never actually met up again (thankfully).

I now hate having hook ups with men as I never orgasm. Not only because they often don't care to make me but it's also just difficult to do so due to finding the correct fingering pattern. It's embarrassing and make me want to just masturbate instead.

 

[Hank96]

Nothing to be embarrassed about! Also maybe having a connection as a big part of it for you and being familiar with somebody. Don’t be embarrassed be yourself have fun and see if you can connect with somebody.

 

[LickableWallpaper]

Hey there, I know this is easier said than done, but take the notion out of your mind that you have to orgasm a certain way. It helped me immensely. Its ok to be need to be stimulated in any way that works for you. Real life isnt porn or a scene from a movie. Seriously.

Also take the notion away that anything is wrong with you or you will always be sexless. You already know how to please yourself and that you CAN orgasm. Communicating that is the next big hurdle. Men that are worth sleeping with WILL enjoy being instructed on how you like to be touched. Or hell to watch you get yourself off to learn.

I know in general people are given a lot of info on how sex is supposed to go. Have sex the way you enjoy it. You need to gain your confidence. Id honestly say find someone you are comfortable with and are attracted to, have sex with them more than once. If you cant articulate, move their hands or position them until they get the idea.

Also there is a shit ton of women online that talk about their own experiences and struggles with sex. Probs many on here.

Its hard to get out of your head sometimes. But I think you got this. Most of all know you Deserve good sex. Dont settle for anyone who makes you feel otherwise.

 

[nock]

He's not the first man I've heard that is not into it, but he was also young. Years later we reconnected and he said he would try it but we never actually met up again (thankfully).

I now hate having hook ups with men as I never orgasm. Not only because they often don't care to make me but it's also just difficult to do so due to finding the correct fingering pattern. It's embarrassing and make me want to just masturbate instead.

nothing to be embarrassed about... an I'm confident you know how to make yourself cum

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Relax and don’t worry about it. Enjoy the moments and it might just “cum.”