It's Always Something.

[slyc_willie]

BEEP

If you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder PRESS 1 repeatedly. BEEP
If youre co-dependent have a friend PRESS 2 for you now. BEEP
If you suffer from paranoid personality disorder just hang up, we know who you are and where you live. BEEP
If youre schizophrenic just listen to the voice in your head for the correct extension number. BEEP
If you have alzheimers disease PRESS 3 now, PRESS 3 now, PRESS 3 now. BEEP
If you suffer from low self esteem, hang up now, plenty of others are more deserving of help and youre tieing up the phone. BEEP
If this is a 911 life or death emergency call PRESS BEEP Welcome to the mental health hotline!

Shared this with my wife. That's hilarious.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Shared this with my wife. That's hilarious.

I usta write lotsa humorous material. What you shared with your wife came about when I was annoyed at having no clerical help at night. That is, after normal business hours my emergency room got all the phone calls and caterers and traffic, and it was just me and my one orderly to handle it all plus our regular work. So Glenn suggested I write a script for a phone intercept, and he'd make an audiotape of it. And that's what we did.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Up at 3 oclock trying to make something outta the old ghost story. Gotta add some sex or romance somewhere. The common element is seduction by supernatural things. And how what folks do collides with reality.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Cant think of how to shoehorn sex into my ghost story tho she appeals to all her victims and leads them to death or great physical harm. Its 8000 words.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Started reading MASTER AND COMMANDER by Patrick O'Brian last night. Its OK but it made me think about the prisons we self-inflict on ourselves. People love their prison cells. Civilization prolly started when one human got the idea to lock himself up and toss away the key. And if he mattered others likely joined him.

Maybe life is a quest for the right jail. Then we spend eternity in the ultimate confinement, the grave.

Re-reading VIOLENCE: A Writers Guide by Rory Miller. Miller makes it clear he knows shit about writing but knows all about violence, and most writers get violence wrong. "A BLACK BELT COVERS ABOUT 2 INCHES OF YOUR ASS, NO MORE." he says.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

PILOTs back on IGGY. Life is too short for his alcohol fueled sputtering.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Harvesting Cukes.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Harvesting cukes and tomatoes. Green beans are erupting on the bushes. And the Summer veggies: Okra, peanuts, corn, and sweet potatoes are doing OK enough.

The corn looks like popcorn. I think the seed company fucked up.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My latest tale is collecting cobwebs waiting for me to add some romance or sex or something to it. And I cant think of a thing. No rush.

Anuther tale on the assembly line involves a handyman who murders 9 people at a boarding house circa 1924 or so. He intended to kill one but was seen, and forced to kill all. With a hatchet. Afterwards it gets interesting. The killer flees town, and a mob hangs two innocent victims they suspect of the murders. Then the killer is caught, brought back to town, and a mob of 3000 storms the jail to get him. But the National Guard saves him. To make it more interesting the killer is fucking a VIPs wife, and she blackmails her husband to use his influence to save her killer-lover. But in the end the killer dies in the states new electric chair.

 

[lovecraft68]

Cornered myself as my muse took me down an unexpected path. I like where it went, but now the ideas I had to directly follow this scene no longer make sense.

The muse giveth and she taketh away.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Cornered myself as my muse took me down an unexpected path. I like where it went, but now the ideas I had to directly follow this scene no longer make sense.

The muse giveth and she taketh away.

I feel your pain.

Anyway, I'm collecting trivia of the 20s to use in my new tale. Imagine! Sliced bread and peanut butter didn't exist till 1928.

 

[lovecraft68]

I feel your pain.

Anyway, I'm collecting trivia of the 20s to use in my new tale. Imagine! Sliced bread and peanut butter didn't exist till 1928.

Neither did facebook or Dr. Phil. All in all I wouldn't mind living without PBJ if we could get rid of the other things.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Neither did facebook or Dr. Phil. All in all I wouldn't mind living without PBJ if we could get rid of the other things.

WHAT COULD YOU LIVE WITHOUT? WOULD MAKE A GREAT THREAD.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So I watched several electrocution vids today, of people and animals.

Folks don't bounce around, they die suddenly, collapse if they can, and catch fire within a minute or so. Its all quite calm and quiet in most cases. The restraints keep people from leaving or falling outta the chair. If the power is strong enough the water in your body will turn to steam quickly, and youll explode.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

More cukes to pick this morning. I need 25 for every gallon of pickles I make. Plus I like to have enough for a salad everyday. Grilled burgers yesterday, the pickles, tomatoes, and onion came from my lil garden. Fridays roast featured potatoes, onions, carrots from the garden, plus broccoli I froze. The garden now furnishes most the jams and preserves around here: blueberry, strawberry, peach. I may harvest enough guavas to make guava jelly.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Found my stash of old newspaper articles from long ago. Most are reports of gunfights and bizarre crimes here in Schlubville. My house sits atop a sawmill site of a century ago. The swamp behind the house was a millpond where cedar logs awaited milling into pencils. Then the town went away. Lotsa shooting at deputies and marshals. One marshal went fishing and was ambushed with shotguns, he had lotsa enemies, cuz he often killed people after they were cuffed.

So I'm weaving these old tales into a story of lust and murder and execution by electrocution.

Some of the tales are kewl, like the story about the Mafia shooter who came down from New York City to hit a local VIP, this was in the 20s. Well a reception committee met the shooter at the train station, tossed him into a water trough, then threw him back aboard the train. The Cracker Mafia they were called.

Another kewl trick was locating bordellos above popular restaurants. Lunch and a quickie. There's a name for it but it escapes me.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Almost Ready To Pick: Maybe one more week.

 

[TxRad]

Another kewl trick was locating bordellos above popular restaurants. Lunch and a quickie. There's a name for it but it escapes me.

A nooner

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

A nooner

Nope. There was a local name for lunch with pussy.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Pretty much nailed the new plot together so that it uses the historical info I collected.

In a nutshell: Socially prominent MILF meets young man and they start an affair. She then works on him to erase her past by killing a few people who try to blackmail her, including the sheriff and his kin. Her husband is a closet queer politician connected to the major players at the state capital. Later, after the lover is caught, she blackmails her husband to use his influence to save the lovers life.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I see that the old FLORIDAN HOTEL in Tampa is restored and open for business. Built in 1926 its been abandoned forever till someone bought it and restored it to the 1926 specs. So! That takes care of some description problems. I can call it the FLORIDIAN, we always called it Floridian tho the name is Floridan.

So scenes are falling in place.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Compiled an Amazon book order. Books by Patrick O'Brian, John D. MacDonald, Ross MacDonald, Pete Dexter, and Dorothy Hughes.

Started writing the new story. 'It was a good day to die.' is the opening sentence. In the opening scene a deputy sheriff aims his 30 caliber Springfield rifle at a moonshiner, and blows him away. Its 1926 and moonshiners compete with the VIP bootleggers for business, and so the sheriff takes care of small-fry poachers.

 

[LWulf]

Cornered myself as my muse took me down an unexpected path. I like where it went, but now the ideas I had to directly follow this scene no longer make sense.

The muse giveth and she taketh away.

My problem is she stops by, uses me for her boytoy, riding me wild, filling me beyond full of ideas by way of thanks, then leaves to have a smoke.

Nope. There was a local name for lunch with pussy.

I don't know what location you are so I can't say where the "local" possibilities are, but in regard to my home town, there is now a (few) website that has people compiling what isn't printed. Memories of local stories and the typical slang used. They try to do it in an educated manner (e.g. With primary the residents being primarily Dutch, "these" terms were anglicized to "this", then with the influx of Italians and Irish, "those" terms melted in around "that" time.... etc)
Again, I don't know what local area you are in, so I can't direct you better, but you might want to look for a website that has local linguistic peculiarities and slang, besides also having maybe some period photos and memorabilia.

I see that the old FLORIDAN HOTEL in Tampa is restored and open for business. Built in 1926 its been abandoned forever till someone bought it and restored it to the 1926 specs. So! That takes care of some description problems. I can call it the FLORIDIAN, we always called it Floridian tho the name is Floridan.

So scenes are falling in place.

I might be able to manage a walk through with pictures if you can't? I go into Tampa on rare occasion.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My problem is she stops by, uses me for her boytoy, riding me wild, filling me beyond full of ideas by way of thanks, then leaves to have a smoke.



I don't know what location you are so I can't say where the "local" possibilities are, but in regard to my home town, there is now a (few) website that has people compiling what isn't printed. Memories of local stories and the typical slang used. They try to do it in an educated manner (e.g. With primary the residents being primarily Dutch, "these" terms were anglicized to "this", then with the influx of Italians and Irish, "those" terms melted in around "that" time.... etc)
Again, I don't know what local area you are in, so I can't direct you better, but you might want to look for a website that has local linguistic peculiarities and slang, besides also having maybe some period photos and memorabilia.



I might be able to manage a walk through with pictures if you can't? I go into Tampa on rare occasion.

I live in Schlubville, but thanks anyway. We've been around here since 1839. One of my daughters works a block or two away from the hotel. I found some 1927 photos that match the restoration pretty well. Most of the material I need for the story, I have. The hotel, the jail, the national guard armory, a local restaurant/bordello, plus the sites of the relevant murders.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Found photos of the Tampa jail, built in 1925. Plus photos of the Florida State Farm at Raiford and the new electric chair circa 1924 when the chair was installed and the prison opened for convicts. One old photo shows a convict strapped in the chair, ready to go. His right pant leg is missing so it looks real. Florida stopped hanging convicts in 1925.