It's a Wrap!!!

[Guest]

We just finished the performance run on the musical I was directing - Fiddler on the Roof!

The participants ranged in age from 5 years old (my son) to 78. The show was excellent, not to brag too much, and I'm still here this morning after the cast and crew celebration. Theater people really know how to party!

Working on the show has been very healthy for me. Only a few Lit friends know that several months ago my brother passed away (he was just 42). I haven't been able to write anything erotic since then, and even though I am feeling a bit of relief that Fiddler is over, it was very therapeutic to be able to throw myself into the production.

Grief intrudes every day, and still keeps me up most nights, but I'm able to see through the haze just a bit now.

I keep hoping I'll be able to write something soon that will be sexy and not angry (the things I've tried to pen are scaring me).

Anyway - I just needed to share some good news!

I've learned a great deal about Jewish culture, customs, and religion and I find myself saying this quite a bit these days - L'Chaim!

 

[Icingsugar]

Bringing a play or a musical into life on stage, espacially with an amateur ensemble, is really an amazing thing to be a part of. To watch the production grow, to watch the script and music come to life and to share an intense group dynamic of fiery individuals that I have not found anywhere else ever... And most important, to watch all those people go out on limbs and grow in front of my very eyes from day to day.

I can't begin to describe what my theatre ensemble gives me. It's my own personal religion.

Do you do these kind if things often? I just hope you get to experience it again, in happier days.

luv,
/Ice

 

[Wills]

Just want to add my congrats, and hope that you find your way back to your writing.

Will's

 

[Guest]

. . .I can't begin to describe what my theatre ensemble gives me. It's my own personal religion.

Do you do these kind if things often? I just hope you get to experience it again, in happier days.

luv,
/Ice

Yes, you understand it, don't you? Being involved in a huge production is so incredible. At one point during the last performance I stood at the back of the auditorium and just watched and smiled. It was great.

I direct a big musical every fall and a smaller one (more of a talent show) in the spring. It has helped so much - I am beginning to think there just may be happier days ahead!

 

[Guest]

Just want to add my congrats, and hope that you find your way back to your writing.

Will's

Will's -

Thank you. I truly miss it, and readers have begun sending me feedback asking when the next story will be.

*sigh*

Soon, I hope!

 

[Guest]

I am beginning to think there just may be happier days ahead!

There will be sweet Sarahh, there will be. Grief takes a long time, and is real work, but so necessary. When I went through it I even came to regard it like a person, like a friend (near the end of it course). I am sure you will be fine, merely knowing you from posts.

Take care, and let us know when you start writing.

que te vaya bien,

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Perdita -

I am caught in the middle of the whole grief process right now (and I truly hate it).

What has sustained me (even though a couple of people keep telling me I need to get over it) is my intense anger. It is fueling me, giving me strength.

My pastor says it's fine - work through the anger - and use it for good. He says the miracle grief "steps" can happen all at the same time or whenever and not to worry too much about it or what others say.

But I'm afraid I'm not going to get over the anger. For my brother to be taken so young, only 86 days after his diagnosis of cancer - leaving two young children? I'm angry. Really, really angry.

I imagine that's why I can't write. It's tough to write erotica when you're pissed at the world!

(I suppose this would be better in a PM but I have never posted a thread about my brother. I hated to seem like I was asking for sympathy - I've seen a few folks do that from time to time.)

But the Author's Hangout is different than the GB - I do feel comfortable speaking my heart here.

Thank you, perdita -

 

[Pure]

Congratulations; it sounds like an excellent way to move past your grief; or, since it wont totally leave, to get the rest of your life and your writing, going again.

There's much one can be angry about, like the short lives of some kids and the long ones of mafiosi, but maybe the energy of anger can be channeled into something, be it a mvt to fund cancer research or writing more and sending out to ungrateful publishers, just for spite.

 

[whispering_surrender]

Sarahh,

This may sound cliche, but I'm going to say it anyhow. Having gone through something....similar....I won't tell you I understand how you're feeling, but I will tell you that you are in my thoughts. *hug* Don't let anyone tell you how you are "supposed" to feel, or that it's "time to move on". In being able to admit that you're angry, you are miles ahead of where I was at that point. Best wishes, and if you need to talk, you know where to find me.

Whisper

 

[OldnotDead]

Sarah,

My own daughter just 'wrapped' her schools fall play and while I had nothing to do directly, I feel like I was directly involved as we got a daily rundown of all the progress, or lack thereof.

It's been years since I was directly involved, but as my own child goes through it, I remember all the feelings and am so glad she is getting to do it. Your son will have some really special memories of the shows he does with you.

Congratulations!!

On your other comments,

It is maddening to lose anyone, but young parents are especially hard. Parents should not have to bury their children and young children should not have to weep for those that would guide them to adulthood. It seems from your posting that you do understand that it is something you will never 'get over' and those that offer you advice on 'moving on' are not well informed, if meaning to be well intentioned.

It sounds like you have some people that are encouraging you to accept your feelings. I personally believe that it helps the children involved to see the wide range of emotions such tragedy causes. It helps them know that what they feel, but cannot always express, is normal and that they do not have to 'be strong' or any of the other well meant words that don't help them understand why something so awful happened to them. I find your comments most hopeful and trust that your family appreciates having someone so thoughful and sincere among them.

I wish you and your family better days ahead and strong comfort of each other. 'First' holidays, in my opinion, are the hardest. In our own family we have tried doing things completely differently and doing some things the same. I cannot tell you whether one is more helpful than the other. We've just tried to listen to the 'little voices' to make sure that if something is important, we do it, and if it's too hard for everyone, we skip it.

Best thoughts to all,

 

[Guest]

Thank you everyone -

Good suggestions from all, thank you!

Pure - I like the ungrateful publisher route. I seem to be very good at horror fiction right now - maybe I should send some of that in? (maybe not)

whispering - I am sorry to hear about your own loss but I am encouraged that you were able to work it through. It still seems so far away for me right now.

OnD - glad to hear your children are enjoying theater - isn't it terrific for kids?

You know, my family is in a bit of a mess right now. I know it will get better, I know it, but it is making things more difficult.

My parents are going out of town every other week it seems - kind of running away from home. Not that I blame them - they need to get through this themselves - but I hope they don't forget their other kids and grandkids.

My younger sister and I? Well, we're fighting, and we used to be very close. *sigh* I suppose the stress brought all of this out. (My brother was the oldest). Now I am playing nice for our parent's sake. But I am certain she and I will get along again as soon as she pulls her head out of her ass.

Holidays will be interesting this year!