It must be Dump on WS Day

[Whispersecret]

I feel battered. Here are three nasty emails I received Saturday. This is the most negative and vitriolic feedback I've ever gotten in the three years I've been a member of Lit. I can't help but wonder why people are so upset with me just now.

1. This was about my dialogue how-to: Talk about the blind leading the blind! Who the FUCK are you to suppose you have either the training or expertise to teach ANYONE about ANY facet of writing? I NEVER ceases to amaze me at the arrogance many of you wannabes on Literotica
have. Why not stick to "teaching" something you DO know about, like self-love since I feel certain it's been a LONG TIME since you've had anyone want YOU! <EYEROLL>

2. This was in regard to "How to get people to read your stories": Why not hold an erotic writing seminar with your School Board, or is it enjoyable pretending to be a wholesome educational guide to young people? It's a SHAME people like you aren't exposed as the FRAUDS you truly are. It's NO WONDER our young people are so lost!

3. This was in regard to "My Debt to a Gay Man," admittedly a sad attempt at poetry, but surely not deserving of this nastiness: Frost is SURELY rolling over in his grave, at the desicration your pathetic attempt at penning poetry has done to verse.

Just when I think I have a good handle on my writing and how solid I feel my skills are becoming, I hit a jarring speedbump like this that throws me off. I penned this response to one of the people ( if it is three different people), but that only gives me a little satisfaction.

I don't pretend to be a wholesome educational guide to young people. I AM a wholesome educational guide to young people. If I exposed my students to erotic material before they were mature enough to understand it, then I would be a poor role model. Fortunately, I am very well able to distinguish appropriate and inappropriate material, better than many people I call friends, who allow their thirteen year olds to rent R rated movies.

The shame is that you, who obviously read erotic stories, can't come to terms with the fact that normal people read and enjoy fiction with a sexual theme. I sincerely hope that someday you reconcile within yourself the fact that enjoying erotic stories isn't bad or unwholesome.

Sincerely,
Whispersecret

Anyway, just letting off some steam and wondering why, on my anniversary of all days, I seem to have become a target.

 

[NoJo]

Whisper

Whisper, I empathise.


Well, I've accidentally had feedback off till today for a long while, so I've so far avoided that kind of thing.

This kind of nastiness is mainly possible because of anonymity. They wouldn't say it to your face. Like many cowardly critics, they hide behind masks.

Personally, I've tended to become thick skinned. I've been called a fag, Yid, freak, pervert, weirdo. Fuck em. I detect it at many levels of subtely on some of the feedback I've received.

But taking one of your "critic"'s points:

It's NO WONDER our young people are so lost!

That for me is the giveaway. Young people are not lost, they're probably more sorted and sussed than they've ever been, admirably well-adjusted compared to past generations. This critic is either a "fucked up" young person, or perhaps an angry parent, who has lost the ability to commincate with his (he HAS to be male, I think) son or daughter.

Just try to get behind the mask.

 

[Whispersecret]

Well, the feedback wasn't anonymous. Each gave their addresses, which of course I didn't post here. I took the time to reply to the first two, but got tired of it by the third.

Young people aren't lost because of erotic stories or teachers who write them. Young people are "lost" because their parents are often more interested in being their friends than their parents. This is a soapbox that I've long stood upon. I only have the child for nine months. The parent has him/her for eighteen years. Where will the main influence come from?

Thanks, Sub Joe for the response. I just needed to vent a little. I think I got some extra feedback because Laurel "re-released" my how to on dialogue. I asked her to fix the one-liner because it had a typo in it. (I kept getting feedback pointing out the typo, which wasn't even mine.) So, my how tos are getting a revival of sorts. Still, they're not THAT bad. Geez!

 

[NoJo]

I only have the child for nine months. The parent has him/her for eighteen years.

Whisper, I don't quite understand that sentence. What do you mean there, exactly? Is "I" someone other than the parent?

 

[Weird Harold]

Whisper, I don't quite understand that sentence. What do you mean there, exactly? Is "I" someone other than the parent?

Nine months = one school year -- the time that a teacher spends with any one student.

 

[NoJo]

Ok, thanks, I thought it had something to do with pregnancy!

As a parent, my job is to prepare my kids to deal with life without me. They interract more with their peers than anyone else, and they occasionally come to me for moral guidance. I tell them to get lost, I'm busy writing porn.

 

[Weird Harold]

I feel battered. Here are three nasty emails I received Saturday. This is the most negative and vitriolic feedback I've ever gotten in the three years I've been a member of Lit. I can't help but wonder why people are so upset with me just now.

1. This was about my dialogue how-to: Talk about the blind leading the blind!...
...
Anyway, just letting off some steam and wondering why, on my anniversary of all days, I seem to have become a target.

WS, these are obvious TROLL quality feedbacks. I doubt very much they have anything to do with the quality of your writing or your personal worth. I do know that your how to on dialogue is as good or better than some textbooks I've read on the subject!

I wonder if any of the other how-to articles on writing recieved similar feedback?

Don't let this episode get you down. If nothing ele, they'll contrast well with the good things in your life.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Whisper, I don't quite understand that sentence. What do you mean there, exactly? Is "I" someone other than the parent?

|
Uh, she's a teacher. I didn't know that before reading
some of the feedback, but she must have posted that
fact.
The teacher has the kid for the school year -- nine months,
give or take a bit -- then *usually* doesn't have much
relationship with the kid thereafter.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

The response to your poem was totally undeserved, though
I haven't read the poem. Vote 1 if you must, but don't
trash somebody's efforts.
Responses to discussion posts are a little more what people
must expect when they post ideas.
|
I was really surprised that these came from three different
identifiable e-mail addresses. Looked more like some one
particular person had a bad day.

 

[wildsweetone]

have you thought to ask laurel if she can check out the IP addresses WS? anybody can have more than one email address. it's still possible your troll is one person, and if they're sent from one pc laurel should be able to tell you. - just a thought.

to even things out a little, go take a look at some of your nicer feedbacks. you write good enough to have piles

 

[Whispersecret]

Thanks all. I appreciate the words of support.

Wildsweetone, that's a good idea, but Laurel's got enough to do. My little problem isn't that critical. I'm going to try to do what I advise others to do in this situation and try to not let it bother me. I do have lots of positive feedback to read. (Yes, heh heh, I'm weird/needy enough to print it all out.)

I will remind myself that anyone who hates me so much that they go to the trouble of creating three different email addresses in order to send me nasty mail has GOT to be living a shitty life.

 

[Lancelot Knight]

Ignore Them

Whispersecret,

I've never known anyone who cared more about other people's writing than you do. I've never known anyone who was sincerely trying to elevate the genre of erotica more than you have been.

So all I can guess is it is a deranged mind, certainly not more than one.

Ignore him or her or it.

However, I will tell you this little story--and I've told it to a couple of dozen porn writers. Once I wrote what I thought was a clever little porn story. Sent it off to one of the Biggies, only to get it back in a week, telling me I couldn't write my way out of a shoebox, and what made me think I knew how to put one sentence after another, let alone write an intelligible and entertaining story. I ignored her advice and promptly sent the story to another of the bigger magazines. He called me back in four days, telling me what I had written was the greatest thing since _War and Peace_, or at least ranked with the porn version of _Gone With the Wind_ (whatever that may be). Offered me more money than I had made up till then (something like four or five hundred dollars), and asked for more.

In other words, *always ignore them*--all the "thems" of the world.

Keep up your good work!

Lancelot Knight

 

[wildsweetone]

possible character profile...

hmm *thinking*

age: 20-25
sex: male
sexual preference: Uncertain
address: USA
marital status: single
occupation: is pc savvy, but is unemployed.
likes: ice cream, jack-off stories-kinky ones, fantasizes.
dislikes: anybody who disagrees with his opinion.
life experiences: relatively few. separated parents, average schooling, never been employed, peer death due to overdose.
social life: is a loner, has none.
physical features: had bad acne as a youth, was too tall and skinny.
abilities: knows the ins and outs of his pc
disabilities: wheelchair bound (where did that come from?)
daytime occupation presently: preys on Literotica authors. sees them as better people than he is. has nothing better to do each day than to read through a few chosen stories in his own preferences, then opens others purely for the 'high' of offering insulting feedback. gets a good kick from coming into the authors' hangout to read if his feedback was effective.

hmmm

 

[Alex De Kok]

Whisper,

two years ago, when I was in the throes of agonising over my first submission to Literotica, you were very kind and supportive. I read and valued your 'how-to's' then and still do, despite now having twenty-nine (soon to be thirty!)pieces of my own posted, including a 'how-to'.

You are too good a person - know this! - to let the trolls bother you. Were I a parent in your part of the world with a child of an age to be taught by you I would be glad to know of your level-headed approach to adult matters.

Alex

PS: Congratulations on your anniversary!

 

[Coolville]

You can't slag people off just because they send negative feedback.
Okay, sure, those morons who send anonymous feedback that have no educational value whatsoever - "Duh, you suck!", etc.

But any feedbacker that includes their email stands by what they have written.

Sure, it may be harsh. It may be one person's opinion. It may hurt. But writers who survive the "rejection letter period" and who, after an inevitable period of depression, read the letters again and learn from the comments - those are the writers who only get better.

The only thing I take issue with - in those feedback letters you recieved - is that the "how to" section on Lit. is written by amateurs for other amateurs so it's silly to criticize the "how to" pieces.

 

[Quint]

You've been a most wholesome influence on me, at least. Your stories were some of the first I read on Literotica, and certainly what got me addicted to the site. The general quality of your writing is so high that an intelligent person cannot help but learn from your example. You teach without even trying, just by writing.

Obviously there is more deliberation in the "How-To"s. I genuinely doubt that the person (for want of a better word) who scorned your articles benefited from such an exchange. I also doubt that he could afford to! He could have absorbed knowledge, nodded, left appreciative feedback, and gone on his merry trollish way. As it is, he learned nothing and is the worse for it.

He's not even a parasite. He tried to harm you and succeeded only in killing whatever skill at writing he ever tries to develop.
(I could've taken other routes with this but I'm a personal fan of vengeance.)

 

[Whispersecret]

Golly, thanks everyone.

Lance, I see that this was your first post, and I'm touched that my "plight" was what brought you out of the woodwork. I am glad that you're finding success with your writing. For the record, Killermuffin has done more than I have, actually, which is why I'm very glad she's winning in the "Most Influential Writer" category of the Lit Awards.

WSO, that's a funny profile. PRobably accurate too. Looking at the similar way the person capitalized stuff, I'm suspecting it was one person going out of their way to remain "anonymous."

Coolville, I agree with you completely. The real cowards don't even leave an email address. However, it's pretty easy to create an email account that you never intend to really use except to bash people. Maybe that's rationalizing on my part, but really, I just keep wondering, why the vehement tone? It's just a piece on using quotation marks, for God's sake! LOL. Why get so bent out of shape? It makes me think this person has a personal thing against me, and/or has serious mental problems. Either way, that sort of criticism is never helpful, nor was it probably meant to be.

Quint, I appreciate what you said. I am proud of what I've written here, even if it isn't politically correct or something I'd share with my parents (or even some of my friends.)

Do you think this person is a writer? Hmm. Perhaps I gave him some negative criticism that didn't sit well. <shrugs>

 

[KillerMuffin]

You never know what makes someone shove a hot poker up their ass and take it out on you. Consider the contest going on above our very heads where you've got a few things in the running. Some people take this too seriously.

I've never lied to ya about your stuff before, not gonna start now.

You are a good writer. You are one of the best here. Your dialogue piece is nothing that you can't come to this very forum and find the same advice repeated over and over again by dozens of different voices. Moron is wrong and you know it.

This is one fact of life every writer must learn to deal with if he or she intends to write for the public. There will be those out there who hate what you write and hate you, personally. You can't change it, you can't work your writing or yourself to appeal to them enough to make them at least ignore you. There is nothing you can do to prevent any provocation of hate because it's not what you've done, it's all inside of them.

It's their problem and rather than admit to whatever it is inside of them that's creating unreasonable negative feelings, they will take it out on you.

Have you ever been in a position where someone you don't know does something incredibly stupid while driving? Like cuts you off, goes the wrong speed, tries to merge into you, doesn't notice a stop sign and nearly runs over you. Most people, at one time or other, get very pissy about this. Screaming, yelling, mute anger. Whatever. You're reacting to something that someone else did--and everyone does at one time in their driving careers--and you have to get out the frustration. Usually, people just do a little yelling in their cars or fume for a while. Sometimes it's just too much, and we get the road rage thing.

Rage like this is centered on the individual with the anger problem, not the person they are reacting to. Even if you made a mistake or if you just happened to come along wearing the wrong perfume at the wrong time, it's their problem. Not yours.

It's hard to deal with things when someone lashes out at you like this. It hurts, it makes you doubt yourself, and it makes you angry. These are normal responses to a situation like this. The trick is to get past it. Realize that this person's opinion stems from reactionary anger and/or hatred and therefore this opinion does not count. If someone has something negative to say about what you've written and they say it in a straightforward manner without all the name calling, then it's obvious they've taken the time to think things through. This is the negative opinions that you should give credence to. They may not be correct, but they are thinking and they are reasonable.

Now go finish your book so you can laugh all the way to the bank.

 

[its Leslie]

Man I have gotten the "you suck" brand of feedback, but never anything as nasty as what you showed us there Whisper.

Regardless if it is anonymous or someone leaving an email address though, people that wish to be called humane or civil can't say such in your face hurtful comments as what were said to you.

Whether we are pros here or outright amatuers is immaterial, we all contribute freely. It's not asking much to either say something helpful or not say anything at all.

I have read some stuff here that was just not bang on for my own interests, but then that is just me being me and nothing more. For instance asking me to vote on a poem is pointless, I can't write poetry and don't really enjoy reading it.

But harshly slagging someones work is just the mark of someone with nothing good to give.

 

[Axeltheswede]

slings and arrows

As our last "elected" president used to say, "I feel your pain, Whisper."

The sensitivity that adds so much to your writing leaves you vulnerable to abusive critics. Support from your fellow authors may help heal the pain. But, the fact is, it still hurts.

You are obviously a very centered person, confident in your ability to write well. Look at the bigger picture. Look at the reception your work has received. Balance the praise of the many against the venom of the few. Your positive perspective is the thing that will get you past this little bump.

 

[Whispersecret]

Oh, well, hell. Thanks for making me get teary, you guys. I guess the good that comes out of this is feeling the heartfelt support from my peers.

So, (raises her glass) here's to friends who understand.

And here (flips her middle finger) is something for the trolls.

Vive erotica!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Quote

"If someone criticizes me, I take that as a sign that the person in question is too stupid for me to pay any attention to."
Wicked Winnie