It is possible...
- Thread starter sunstruck
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naudiz
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 27, 2000
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This reminded me of something. I don't use the ignore feature because I skim over posts if I doubt it'll be my cuppa, and I enjoy a flame war too much to silence anyone, particularly dimwits with lots of opinions. So if someone really pushes my buttons, or just comes off to me as someone I don't want to deal with, they go in my little dipshit rolodex and I move on.
This happened recently, in an attempt at a serious discussion. It almost immediately turned into sniping, and when this was pointed out, said poster pretty much came back with, paraphrasing roughly, "I'm sniping because you're not making yourself clear. Make yourself clear and I'll stop being rude."
See, my mommy taught me that I'm responsible for my own behavior regardless of what the other kids are doing. I didn't reply. It would've been pointless. What I did learn was not to get into a serious discussion with this person.
You can state an opinion in such a way that you are not attacking someone or making it personal. However, some people are going to take it personally and are going to feel attacked no matter what you say or how you say it. Especially people who assume everything is about them, or have egos too fragile to stand up in the face of opposition.
There isn't much you can do. You could try to explain, I guess. Or if you're feeling feisty, you can really lay into them, then ask the class to compare and contrast the difference between stating an opinion and making an attack.
Judgment happens. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Hey, I might think someone is a total putz, but if that has nothing to do with the conversation, then there is no need to bring it up. Address the argument, not the person making it.
And since you haven't been flamed yet, sunstruck, you smell like coochie.
This happened recently, in an attempt at a serious discussion. It almost immediately turned into sniping, and when this was pointed out, said poster pretty much came back with, paraphrasing roughly, "I'm sniping because you're not making yourself clear. Make yourself clear and I'll stop being rude."
See, my mommy taught me that I'm responsible for my own behavior regardless of what the other kids are doing. I didn't reply. It would've been pointless. What I did learn was not to get into a serious discussion with this person.
You can state an opinion in such a way that you are not attacking someone or making it personal. However, some people are going to take it personally and are going to feel attacked no matter what you say or how you say it. Especially people who assume everything is about them, or have egos too fragile to stand up in the face of opposition.
There isn't much you can do. You could try to explain, I guess. Or if you're feeling feisty, you can really lay into them, then ask the class to compare and contrast the difference between stating an opinion and making an attack.
Judgment happens. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Hey, I might think someone is a total putz, but if that has nothing to do with the conversation, then there is no need to bring it up. Address the argument, not the person making it.
And since you haven't been flamed yet, sunstruck, you smell like coochie.
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2001
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- 30,254
sunstruck said:
Yes, you can say something is wrong for you. Just as I said I can say something is wrong for me. I can only say what works for me. Some words pushmybuttons and my first reaction is to push back. My personal work right now is to not push back because it is more apt to affect me in a negative manner rather than my perceived "pusher."
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