Problem Child
titleless
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2001
- Posts
- 27,935
Chapter One- The Beginning
Born on the Bangladesh border, in 1970, amidst political turmoil and strife, was a child...well, at first they thought it was a child, after all his mother looked human, all except for it's hunchback and heavy mustache, it's deformed head-thing, and greasy, malevolent eyes. Well, they thought it was human anyway, so they gave it the benefit of the doubt.
It knew a few rudimentary hand gestures and seemed to menstruate, albeit on down it's leg, so they decided it was more human than animal, or at least more animal than plant. Well, except for that nasty habit it had of eating it's own stool as it lay there. Yes, they decided, more human than say...an aardvark.
Did aardvaarks eat their own feces? No one could say for sure, so they called the town elder, Manohar.
"Manohar, come quickly, we have found something in a dumpster, yet we know not what it is!" exclaimed Bharadwaj, the excitable young village boy that drooled a lot.
"Settle down my son," said the old wise man. "You will soil yourself with so much excitement."
"But sir, we have found this thing, we do not know what it is and need your wise advice," said the boy, wiping his chin.
"Come- let us go and see what all this fuss is about," said the old man. He stopped and scratched his bony ass for a moment until a small smile crossed his weathered lips, and then they proceeded toward the dumpster around which a large crowd was now gathering.
"Out of my way," said the old man, pushing through the crowd as best he could.
There, huddled in the dumpster under old newspapers and greasy Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes full of bloated maggots struggled some sort of....thing. It was wrapped in dirty linens, worn though with holes, and had soiled itself many times over. The stench was horrific.
"Maybe it's some sort of military experiment gone terribly wrong," offered one spectator.
Slowly, people edged up to the dumpster and looked in, and then edged away in disgust. Some vomited. One fainted.
"It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen," said one man, "and I went to a Gore for President rally in the U.S. one time." A small gasp went up from the crowd.
"Look, it's moving!" The reeking mass moved and groaned an unearthly bawl...something was moving between the appendages most of the crowd had guessed took were the thing's legs. A small bump strained against the tattered fabric of the thing's clothing, and began growing larger...struggling, it seemed.
"I believe it is giving birth...farrowing...calving...whatever," said Manohar. "Bharadwaj, my son, get in there and lift the shroud so that we may see what it is."
"Why me?" said Bharadwaj, with a look of fear on his drooling face.
"Because I said so," said Manohar, whereupon he struck the idiot boy fiercely with his cane.
"OW, that smarts," cried the boy, but he climbed in dutifully.
Bharadwaj slowly reached for the linen shrouding the small writhing bulge between the things legs. His hand trembled as it came closer. The crowd was silent with fear and morbid curiosity. He touched the hem and drew it back quickly. The crowd shreiked as the mystery was revealed. There under the linen was a thing obviously being born. It looked half rat, half monkey...a rateyed monkey, for lack of a better term. It had small, beady red eyes, and sharp gnashing teeth. It was covered with matted greasy black hair, and was the size of an average Jack Russell terrier. It looked unworldly. It was, in a word, horrific.
"God...kill it fast...it's a monster!" someone yelled.
"Yes, kill it before it gets away!"
"Maybe we should study it...take it to the university, perhaps," offered another onlooker. The others looked at the speaker as if he were mad.
A silence fell over the crowd. They were stunned at what they were witnessing, knowing not what they had seen, yet knowing it was truly digusting.
After a moment, the young idiot boy Bharadwaj spoke up. "Manohar, you are wise. You have seen many things. Can you tell us what this repulsive creature is?"
Manohar paused...a look of seriousness fell over his face, and then he spoke.
"Yes. I have seen this vermin one time before. It was in a Turkish bath house, and there was a show involving donkeys and midgets, and a woman with a prolapsed uterus and heavy flatulance- but I digress..."
"I have seen this thing once, and I thought we had killed all of its kind. But now I see that we were too hasty in our judgement that the world was rid of this scourge. Obviously at least two of it's kind lived and mated, in whatever bizarre way that occurs. And this is the product."
"But Manohar, please tell us, what is it!" the boy pleaded.
Manohar drew a deep breath, and looked up.
"It is.....Yayati!"
to be continued
Born on the Bangladesh border, in 1970, amidst political turmoil and strife, was a child...well, at first they thought it was a child, after all his mother looked human, all except for it's hunchback and heavy mustache, it's deformed head-thing, and greasy, malevolent eyes. Well, they thought it was human anyway, so they gave it the benefit of the doubt.
It knew a few rudimentary hand gestures and seemed to menstruate, albeit on down it's leg, so they decided it was more human than animal, or at least more animal than plant. Well, except for that nasty habit it had of eating it's own stool as it lay there. Yes, they decided, more human than say...an aardvark.
Did aardvaarks eat their own feces? No one could say for sure, so they called the town elder, Manohar.
"Manohar, come quickly, we have found something in a dumpster, yet we know not what it is!" exclaimed Bharadwaj, the excitable young village boy that drooled a lot.
"Settle down my son," said the old wise man. "You will soil yourself with so much excitement."
"But sir, we have found this thing, we do not know what it is and need your wise advice," said the boy, wiping his chin.
"Come- let us go and see what all this fuss is about," said the old man. He stopped and scratched his bony ass for a moment until a small smile crossed his weathered lips, and then they proceeded toward the dumpster around which a large crowd was now gathering.
"Out of my way," said the old man, pushing through the crowd as best he could.
There, huddled in the dumpster under old newspapers and greasy Kentucky Fried Chicken boxes full of bloated maggots struggled some sort of....thing. It was wrapped in dirty linens, worn though with holes, and had soiled itself many times over. The stench was horrific.
"Maybe it's some sort of military experiment gone terribly wrong," offered one spectator.
Slowly, people edged up to the dumpster and looked in, and then edged away in disgust. Some vomited. One fainted.
"It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen," said one man, "and I went to a Gore for President rally in the U.S. one time." A small gasp went up from the crowd.
"Look, it's moving!" The reeking mass moved and groaned an unearthly bawl...something was moving between the appendages most of the crowd had guessed took were the thing's legs. A small bump strained against the tattered fabric of the thing's clothing, and began growing larger...struggling, it seemed.
"I believe it is giving birth...farrowing...calving...whatever," said Manohar. "Bharadwaj, my son, get in there and lift the shroud so that we may see what it is."
"Why me?" said Bharadwaj, with a look of fear on his drooling face.
"Because I said so," said Manohar, whereupon he struck the idiot boy fiercely with his cane.
"OW, that smarts," cried the boy, but he climbed in dutifully.
Bharadwaj slowly reached for the linen shrouding the small writhing bulge between the things legs. His hand trembled as it came closer. The crowd was silent with fear and morbid curiosity. He touched the hem and drew it back quickly. The crowd shreiked as the mystery was revealed. There under the linen was a thing obviously being born. It looked half rat, half monkey...a rateyed monkey, for lack of a better term. It had small, beady red eyes, and sharp gnashing teeth. It was covered with matted greasy black hair, and was the size of an average Jack Russell terrier. It looked unworldly. It was, in a word, horrific.
"God...kill it fast...it's a monster!" someone yelled.
"Yes, kill it before it gets away!"
"Maybe we should study it...take it to the university, perhaps," offered another onlooker. The others looked at the speaker as if he were mad.
A silence fell over the crowd. They were stunned at what they were witnessing, knowing not what they had seen, yet knowing it was truly digusting.
After a moment, the young idiot boy Bharadwaj spoke up. "Manohar, you are wise. You have seen many things. Can you tell us what this repulsive creature is?"
Manohar paused...a look of seriousness fell over his face, and then he spoke.
"Yes. I have seen this vermin one time before. It was in a Turkish bath house, and there was a show involving donkeys and midgets, and a woman with a prolapsed uterus and heavy flatulance- but I digress..."
"I have seen this thing once, and I thought we had killed all of its kind. But now I see that we were too hasty in our judgement that the world was rid of this scourge. Obviously at least two of it's kind lived and mated, in whatever bizarre way that occurs. And this is the product."
"But Manohar, please tell us, what is it!" the boy pleaded.
Manohar drew a deep breath, and looked up.
"It is.....Yayati!"
to be continued
