Isolated Ernie thread.

Interviewer: How long have you known Bert?

Ernie: Oh, over 20 years now.

Interviewer: have you always lived together?

Ernie: Yes, for as long as I remember.

Interviewer: How has it been living with him?

Ernie: It has been really difficult.

Interviewer: Difficult? Can you elaborate.

Ernie:Well you see... um.. Bert is kinda has a dual personality... during the show, he's a pushover and very geeky. But when the camera stops rolling he becomes a raging maniac.

Interviewer:Maniac.. how do you mean?

Ernie: Well he hurts me and stuff.

Interviewer: Why do you still live with him then?

Ernie: He says if I leave the apartment he'll kill me and Rubber Duckie.

Interviewer: He can't possibly be serious.

Ernie: He is, he is very capable of this. Once, me and Duckie tried to escape... He almost strangled me to death.

Interviewer: Why does he force you to stay?

Ernie: I think he needs company, you know when he overdoses and stuff, also he likes to touch me. He ------CUT------

Interviewer: Here, here, please stop crying. (pause) Are you okay now?

Ernie: (sniff) Yes, please continue.

Interviewer: You mentioned overdosing... overdosing on what?

Ernie: Bert experiments with all kinds of stuff, L.S.D., Speed, Ecstasy, Heroin, Cocaine, Cannabis... he taught me all the names... I hate him most when he is high.

Interviewer: Why?

Ernie: It's when he's high when he makes me do stuff.

Interviewer: What kind of stuff?

Ernie: He makes me go to the Pigeon shed and ------CUT------

Interviewer: What??!!

Ernie: Please I cannot talk anymore... I gotto go.

The Interview ended abruptly with Ernie hysterically shaking and in tears.... We persued no longer, this soul was already in too much pain.
 
GF and I were discussing who is the "Bert" and who is the "Ernie" in our relationship.. I wanted so badly to be the Ernie.. But deep down I know I'm the Bert.
 
Back
Top