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Isolated Blurts - The HT Cafe Way

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NippleMuncher said:
Assertions of this nature must be backed up with photographic evidence. ;)
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And NM, to expand on this, I'll offer my services to both manually, orally and magnificent cawkilly inspect them. I'll make damned sure I get enough evidence that she does indeed have boobs. I'll even go so far as to do a pmann-o-gram to make sure they are real. And my favouritest test is the pop (shot) smear test. There really isn't any sciency reason for it. Just my research style. I like to smear my cum on boobs.
 
Rainshine said:
No! You can't handle the boobs either!
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I'll plead my case as to why I would make a good candidate for handling your boobs. I'll make this offer nicely, as I won't force myself on you. Ahem.

My hands are very nice. I have two of them. They have good dexterity. Uhm... They both function well. They are attached to two arms (one hand per arm) and are of good length. Not long monkey arms. The arms are attached to properly functioning shoulders, which are quite nice. The fingers have specifically good dexterity, as I am well-versed in playing guitar. This dexterity serves me (and you) well for boob examining and cunny poking. My guitar playing also makes me more palatable as a human being. I'm very motivated. In fact, I'm not just a human being. I'm a human DOING. Because I play guitar, my hands have long nails on one. Now, that may sound totally uncool. But trust me, it's anything but uncool. It's like I've got one hand for loving and one for scratching. Whilst squeezing said boobs, I will be careful not to scratch and leave any marks on you. I will hold your boobs up if you feel that they are heavy. If you are sleepy, I'll say, "Rest your boobs, your heavy boobs" and I'll take them in my hand and support you all the way. I'll give equal attention to each breast as needed. I won't be one of those discriminatory bastards that one love on the right or left breast. I am fair. Also, from my barely 20 years on this earth, I have spent a great percentage of that time loving on my magnificent cawk with those hands. In that time, I have learned the finesse and care needed to make my cawk cum. I know. Pretty fucking amazing. It's a skill set that only I possess, as far as I know. I don't want to reveal the tricks of the trade, but let us just say that I've done in MORE than once. My promise to you and those alleged breasts is that I will treat them with the same love that I use on my cawk. You will not get a better offer.

What say you? In the spirit of the Easter bunny?
 
Rainshine said:
Oh they can cash them. They are quite something.
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Agreed.

Now, go ahead and make my day (and let me handle those magnificent boobies). I've already made you an offer you can't refuse. (Remember, my two armed offer from last night?)
 
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NippleMuncher said:
Not a recommended phrase when just offered boobies! :eek:
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I presume she will find it an acceptable phrase. She uttered (heehee) those same words when she saw Springsteen. So, if I can convey that I'm as happy to feel her boobies as she was to see The Boss, I'll maybe get a second feel.

Between you and me, I think she will let me play on them for a while. She kind of digs me.
 
Lol. My daughter wants to go to Australia to search for Yowies! Someone has been watching too much Animal Planet.
 
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Chocolate Yowies! I don't think that was the kind she was looking for, but I will gladly accept them on her behalf! :D
 
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