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unrelated to anyone here:
I fucking hate you.

ETA: I just got confirmation (from the source) that my ex (who's 35) is sleeping with an 18 yr old. She was 17 two weeks.

I'm kinda sick about it, honestly. He's blowing off the kids for her, first problem. And second, I can't quite stop it from affecting how I feel about myself. I feel old and fat and, god help me, so bitter. He walks away from me and the kids, has minimal involvement with them despite promises to the contrary, and goes off to fuck teenagers. And me? I wonder if I'll ever have sex again. I wonder how I can manage grad school without more help with the kids; I wonder how I'll ever have a social life without more help with the kids. I wonder how I'll ever do anything for myself, have a life, be a person not just a mom, without more help with the kids. And he's not ever going to help. it's always going to be minimal. He chose to live an hour away and that's a constant excuse for his absence.

I hate him for what he's done and what he's doing. And I hate myself for letting it matter. I have to be enough for the kids. I know that. I know it's all on me, always will be. And I know it's selfish to want my own life, my own space, to be something besides just a mom. I don't know how to turn those feelings off, but I need to. I need to be content with my life, with being the sole caretaker for three kids. I need to be content as it is because it can't/won't change.

And I fucking hate him.
 
Last edited:
sophia jane said:
unrelated to anyone here:
I fucking hate you.

ETA: I just got confirmation (from the source) that my ex (who's 35) is sleeping with an 18 yr old. She was 17 two weeks.

I'm kinda sick about it, honestly. He's blowing off the kids for her, first problem. And second, I can't quite stop it from affecting how I feel about myself. I feel old and fat and, god help me, so bitter. He walks away from me and the kids, has minimal involvement with them despite promises to the contrary, and goes off to fuck teenagers. And me? I wonder if I'll ever have sex again. I wonder how I can manage grad school without more help with the kids; I wonder how I'll ever have a social life without more help with the kids. I wonder how I'll ever do anything for myself, have a life, be a person not just a mom, without more help with the kids. And he's not ever going to help. it's always going to be minimal. He chose to live an hour away and that's a constant excuse for his absence.

I hate him for what he's done and what he's doing. And I hate myself for letting it matter. I have to be enough for the kids. I know that. I know it's all on me, always will be. And I know it's selfish to want my own life, my own space, to be something besides just a mom. I don't know how to turn those feelings off, but I need to. I need to be content with my life, with being the sole caretaker for three kids. I need to be content as it is because it can't/won't change.

And I fucking hate him.
Click to expand...

:rose:
I know it's hard, but I'm sure you're giving your best for the kids. And you are nothing of that what you stated above, like old and whatnot. Be happy you got rid of him, he isn't worth to be at your side.
:rose:
 
:confused: Was someone feeling prophetic this morning? Or is it because I haven't gotten a fortune cookie in a few weeks? How... interesting. LOLOL :cathappy:
 
Is it possible to *actually* pass out from tiredness? I think I nearly did... it was either pass out of puke, I still haven;t decided which.
<groans>
 
Og's no poet as anyone who has read my few poems would recognise.

So I'm surprised to have been mentioned twice in 2007 in the Archival Review thread in the Poetry forum.

Maybe I'm "different"?

Og
 
Tarakin said:
:rose:
I know it's hard, but I'm sure you're giving your best for the kids. And you are nothing of that what you stated above, like old and whatnot. Be happy you got rid of him, he isn't worth to be at your side.
:rose:
Click to expand...
Roger all that, and your reactions and determination sound very healthy to me. :rose:
 
There's nothing like good sex, sleeping naked, and waking up to freshly fallen snow to change a person's perspective.

Life is good again. :)
 
McKenna said:
There's nothing like good sex, sleeping naked, and waking up to freshly fallen snow to change a person's perspective.

Life is good again. :)
Click to expand...

Where are you getting all that? I'm living in the wrong place!
 
sophia jane said:
unrelated to anyone here:
I fucking hate you.

ETA: I just got confirmation (from the source) that my ex (who's 35) is sleeping with an 18 yr old. She was 17 two weeks.

I'm kinda sick about it, honestly. He's blowing off the kids for her, first problem. And second, I can't quite stop it from affecting how I feel about myself. I feel old and fat and, god help me, so bitter. He walks away from me and the kids, has minimal involvement with them despite promises to the contrary, and goes off to fuck teenagers. And me? I wonder if I'll ever have sex again. I wonder how I can manage grad school without more help with the kids; I wonder how I'll ever have a social life without more help with the kids. I wonder how I'll ever do anything for myself, have a life, be a person not just a mom, without more help with the kids. And he's not ever going to help. it's always going to be minimal. He chose to live an hour away and that's a constant excuse for his absence.

I hate him for what he's done and what he's doing. And I hate myself for letting it matter. I have to be enough for the kids. I know that. I know it's all on me, always will be. And I know it's selfish to want my own life, my own space, to be something besides just a mom. I don't know how to turn those feelings off, but I need to. I need to be content with my life, with being the sole caretaker for three kids. I need to be content as it is because it can't/won't change.

And I fucking hate him.
Click to expand...

I feel for you!

In my view, it is very simple. He either owes you half the work with the kids, OR, he must financially compensate you for it. Marriage is a partnership, and when it breaks down, both sides must either contribute half the work, or compensate the other financially for the fact that that side is not helping.

I am not sure of your financial situation, but perhaps with his financial help you can hire help to give you a break, at least once in a while.

This is hard to put to practice especially if you did not ask him to help during the marriage either. Still, there is no reason he should leave you with all the worries.

Ageism aside, 18 year olds are seldom good in bed. They have no idea what they are doing there.

Maharat
 
maharat48 said:
I feel for you!

In my view, it is very simple. He either owes you half the work with the kids, OR, he must financially compensate you for it. Marriage is a partnership, and when it breaks down, both sides must either contribute half the work, or compensate the other financially for the fact that that side is not helping.

I am not sure of your financial situation, but perhaps with his financial help you can hire help to give you a break, at least once in a while.

This is hard to put to practice especially if you did not ask him to help during the marriage either. Still, there is no reason he should leave you with all the worries.

Ageism aside, 18 year olds are seldom good in bed. They have no idea what they are doing there.

Maharat
Click to expand...
In my experience, most people that age who fuck eighteen-year-olds do it so they can brag about fucking eighteen-year-olds. :rolleyes:
 
fieryjen said:
In my experience, most people that age who fuck eighteen-year-olds do it so they can brag about fucking eighteen-year-olds. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
And that tells them what? That they are still young enough? Pathetic.

And he reminds me of Johannes Heesters. :D For those who don't know him, he is a 104-year old german ex-actor who had married someone about 60 years younger... He can brag now!!!
 
Tarakin said:
And that tells them what? That they are still young enough? Pathetic.

And he reminds me of Johannes Heesters. :D For those who don't know him, he is a 104-year old german ex-actor who had married someone about 60 years younger... He can brag now!!!
Click to expand...

But for how long? :D
 
DAMN YOU SQUIRREL MONKEYS!!!!!

*shakes fist at a group of evil squirrel monkeys as the mock him*
 
Thanks all for the comments.

I'm better now. Calmer. I had a nap which helped considerably. It's just one of those days, I guess.
I know who he fucks has nothing to do with me, really. But it's easy to psyche myself out about what men are looking for when he's off with teenagers and I'm home with three kids and no possibilities for sex.
And I know that in the end, I do have the better life. I have three great kids who love me- that's worth alot. I just have to hang onto hope (thanks magica) that I can make things work out with grad school, etc and that when the time is right, I'll meet the right person.
 
maharat48 said:
I feel for you!

In my view, it is very simple. He either owes you half the work with the kids, OR, he must financially compensate you for it. Marriage is a partnership, and when it breaks down, both sides must either contribute half the work, or compensate the other financially for the fact that that side is not helping.

I am not sure of your financial situation, but perhaps with his financial help you can hire help to give you a break, at least once in a while.

This is hard to put to practice especially if you did not ask him to help during the marriage either. Still, there is no reason he should leave you with all the worries.

Ageism aside, 18 year olds are seldom good in bed. They have no idea what they are doing there.

Maharat
Click to expand...

Not only that, but the thrill of an illicit relationship with an older man could (and probably will) soon pall for someone so young, which will leave him with egg on his face.
<hugs for S-J>
We all appreciate your value, even if he's foolish enough to ignore it.
x
V
 
maharat48 said:
Ageism aside, 18 year olds are seldom good in bed. They have no idea what they are doing there.
Click to expand...

And since they have no experience they have no idea when the person fucking them is bad at it.

So you're unlikely to get, "Where did you learn to fuck? And your penis is small." from an 18 year old. ;)
 
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