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I guess to start, I should just say that falling in love with you again seems like an impossibility. When I was 19 and things were new and I knew everything, I felt that laughter and great sex wear all it took, of course I fell. Now that time has faded and reality has set in, I find that, just like everyone said, I was young and stupid. I think it is admirable that you still feel you are the same person. I think you are too. I am the one who has changed. I am not even certain changed is the right word, maybe a better word would be that it is I, who has become. The person I am now, at 27, is the person I am. Yes, I have room to learn and to gain a measure of experience, but internally, I am me. The only me I will ever be. I can't help that I cry when I think of how sweet it was to love you. I had never felt so cherished and feel privileged that you still feel that way. It is like the trite overdone lyrics of I Will Always Love You; 'I will always love you, but we both know I am not what you need.' I am not going to become the things you desire in a mate anymore than you are going to magically become what will make me happy. Happiness is deeply personal. I want it but only I can give it to myself. There is no way you can make me happy, anymore than I can make you happy. Happiness is within yourself. The only way I am going to be happy is by doing what I feel needs to be done in my life. I had all this guilt for hurting you the way I did, maybe because Melynda did it to me, but on a much smaller scale. I have this tendency to over analyze things and decided that I was at fault for everything and that I should get back with you and make it work. Well, truth is I don't care about "it." As a matter of fact, aside from possibly being able to see the world, I dread a life lived like this. I am going to go to counseling and I am going to tell Katherine all this, hell I may just give her a copy of this email. I feel empty. I hate that you have discovered religion and that you spout off the biblical to me in hopes of making my commitment at 19 guilt me into staying. I hate that I know I don't believe it like you do and knowing that in reality, you would be better served by having a wife who loved you the way you should rather than one who continually wishes herself away. I feel trapped by guilt. I feel compelled to stay because you say you don't want to live without me. Does it count that I am caged? I have tried to play it off as needing an education, being Gay (which I still think I am), needing freedom, whatever and still you say "I will fix it, I will make everything better." You can't make it better. The person I am now isn't in love with you. I love you and care for you, because of our children, you will always be my friend if you want that. I do. I just don't think this is going to happen. Is it crazy to ask this? I want you to divorce me. I will give you primary custodianship, I will find a way to pay child support, I will do what is necessary, just do this for me. Let me go.
 
Dar~ said:
I guess to start, I should just say that falling in love with you again seems like an impossibility. When I was 19 and things were new and I knew everything, I felt that laughter and great sex wear all it took, of course I fell. Now that time has faded and reality has set in, I find that, just like everyone said, I was young and stupid. I think it is admirable that you still feel you are the same person. I think you are too. I am the one who has changed. I am not even certain changed is the right word, maybe a better word would be that it is I, who has become. The person I am now, at 27, is the person I am. Yes, I have room to learn and to gain a measure of experience, but internally, I am me. The only me I will ever be. I can't help that I cry when I think of how sweet it was to love you. I had never felt so cherished and feel privileged that you still feel that way. It is like the trite overdone lyrics of I Will Always Love You; 'I will always love you, but we both know I am not what you need.' I am not going to become the things you desire in a mate anymore than you are going to magically become what will make me happy. Happiness is deeply personal. I want it but only I can give it to myself. There is no way you can make me happy, anymore than I can make you happy. Happiness is within yourself. The only way I am going to be happy is by doing what I feel needs to be done in my life. I had all this guilt for hurting you the way I did, maybe because Melynda did it to me, but on a much smaller scale. I have this tendency to over analyze things and decided that I was at fault for everything and that I should get back with you and make it work. Well, truth is I don't care about "it." As a matter of fact, aside from possibly being able to see the world, I dread a life lived like this. I am going to go to counseling and I am going to tell Katherine all this, hell I may just give her a copy of this email. I feel empty. I hate that you have discovered religion and that you spout off the biblical to me in hopes of making my commitment at 19 guilt me into staying. I hate that I know I don't believe it like you do and knowing that in reality, you would be better served by having a wife who loved you the way you should rather than one who continually wishes herself away. I feel trapped by guilt. I feel compelled to stay because you say you don't want to live without me. Does it count that I am caged? I have tried to play it off as needing an education, being Gay (which I still think I am), needing freedom, whatever and still you say "I will fix it, I will make everything better." You can't make it better. The person I am now isn't in love with you. I love you and care for you, because of our children, you will always be my friend if you want that. I do. I just don't think this is going to happen. Is it crazy to ask this? I want you to divorce me. I will give you primary custodianship, I will find a way to pay child support, I will do what is necessary, just do this for me. Let me go.
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*HUGS* :heart:
 
Dar~ said:
I guess to start, I should just say that falling in love with you again seems like an impossibility. When I was 19 and things were new and I knew everything, I felt that laughter and great sex wear all it took, of course I fell. Now that time has faded and reality has set in, I find that, just like everyone said, I was young and stupid. I think it is admirable that you still feel you are the same person. I think you are too. I am the one who has changed. I am not even certain changed is the right word, maybe a better word would be that it is I, who has become. The person I am now, at 27, is the person I am. Yes, I have room to learn and to gain a measure of experience, but internally, I am me. The only me I will ever be. I can't help that I cry when I think of how sweet it was to love you. I had never felt so cherished and feel privileged that you still feel that way. It is like the trite overdone lyrics of I Will Always Love You; 'I will always love you, but we both know I am not what you need.' I am not going to become the things you desire in a mate anymore than you are going to magically become what will make me happy. Happiness is deeply personal. I want it but only I can give it to myself. There is no way you can make me happy, anymore than I can make you happy. Happiness is within yourself. The only way I am going to be happy is by doing what I feel needs to be done in my life. I had all this guilt for hurting you the way I did, maybe because Melynda did it to me, but on a much smaller scale. I have this tendency to over analyze things and decided that I was at fault for everything and that I should get back with you and make it work. Well, truth is I don't care about "it." As a matter of fact, aside from possibly being able to see the world, I dread a life lived like this. I am going to go to counseling and I am going to tell Katherine all this, hell I may just give her a copy of this email. I feel empty. I hate that you have discovered religion and that you spout off the biblical to me in hopes of making my commitment at 19 guilt me into staying. I hate that I know I don't believe it like you do and knowing that in reality, you would be better served by having a wife who loved you the way you should rather than one who continually wishes herself away. I feel trapped by guilt. I feel compelled to stay because you say you don't want to live without me. Does it count that I am caged? I have tried to play it off as needing an education, being Gay (which I still think I am), needing freedom, whatever and still you say "I will fix it, I will make everything better." You can't make it better. The person I am now isn't in love with you. I love you and care for you, because of our children, you will always be my friend if you want that. I do. I just don't think this is going to happen. Is it crazy to ask this? I want you to divorce me. I will give you primary custodianship, I will find a way to pay child support, I will do what is necessary, just do this for me. Let me go.
Click to expand...


:rose: :rose: :rose: *Hugs*
 
Dar~ said:
I guess to start, I should just say that falling in love with you again seems like an impossibility. When I was 19 and things were new and I knew everything, I felt that laughter and great sex wear all it took, of course I fell. Now that time has faded and reality has set in, I find that, just like everyone said, I was young and stupid. I think it is admirable that you still feel you are the same person. I think you are too. I am the one who has changed. I am not even certain changed is the right word, maybe a better word would be that it is I, who has become. The person I am now, at 27, is the person I am. Yes, I have room to learn and to gain a measure of experience, but internally, I am me. The only me I will ever be. I can't help that I cry when I think of how sweet it was to love you. I had never felt so cherished and feel privileged that you still feel that way. It is like the trite overdone lyrics of I Will Always Love You; 'I will always love you, but we both know I am not what you need.' I am not going to become the things you desire in a mate anymore than you are going to magically become what will make me happy. Happiness is deeply personal. I want it but only I can give it to myself. There is no way you can make me happy, anymore than I can make you happy. Happiness is within yourself. The only way I am going to be happy is by doing what I feel needs to be done in my life. I had all this guilt for hurting you the way I did, maybe because Melynda did it to me, but on a much smaller scale. I have this tendency to over analyze things and decided that I was at fault for everything and that I should get back with you and make it work. Well, truth is I don't care about "it." As a matter of fact, aside from possibly being able to see the world, I dread a life lived like this. I am going to go to counseling and I am going to tell Katherine all this, hell I may just give her a copy of this email. I feel empty. I hate that you have discovered religion and that you spout off the biblical to me in hopes of making my commitment at 19 guilt me into staying. I hate that I know I don't believe it like you do and knowing that in reality, you would be better served by having a wife who loved you the way you should rather than one who continually wishes herself away. I feel trapped by guilt. I feel compelled to stay because you say you don't want to live without me. Does it count that I am caged? I have tried to play it off as needing an education, being Gay (which I still think I am), needing freedom, whatever and still you say "I will fix it, I will make everything better." You can't make it better. The person I am now isn't in love with you. I love you and care for you, because of our children, you will always be my friend if you want that. I do. I just don't think this is going to happen. Is it crazy to ask this? I want you to divorce me. I will give you primary custodianship, I will find a way to pay child support, I will do what is necessary, just do this for me. Let me go.
Click to expand...
*Hugs* :kiss: :rose:
 
There are clounds looming to the west, and while I can only see the white fluffy edge of them, I am hearing unhappy sounds coming from that direction.
 
Dar~ said:
I guess to start, I should just say that falling in love with you again seems like an impossibility. When I was 19 and things were new and I knew everything, I felt that laughter and great sex wear all it took, of course I fell. Now that time has faded and reality has set in, I find that, just like everyone said, I was young and stupid. I think it is admirable that you still feel you are the same person. I think you are too. I am the one who has changed. I am not even certain changed is the right word, maybe a better word would be that it is I, who has become. The person I am now, at 27, is the person I am. Yes, I have room to learn and to gain a measure of experience, but internally, I am me. The only me I will ever be. I can't help that I cry when I think of how sweet it was to love you. I had never felt so cherished and feel privileged that you still feel that way. It is like the trite overdone lyrics of I Will Always Love You; 'I will always love you, but we both know I am not what you need.' I am not going to become the things you desire in a mate anymore than you are going to magically become what will make me happy. Happiness is deeply personal. I want it but only I can give it to myself. There is no way you can make me happy, anymore than I can make you happy. Happiness is within yourself. The only way I am going to be happy is by doing what I feel needs to be done in my life. I had all this guilt for hurting you the way I did, maybe because Melynda did it to me, but on a much smaller scale. I have this tendency to over analyze things and decided that I was at fault for everything and that I should get back with you and make it work. Well, truth is I don't care about "it." As a matter of fact, aside from possibly being able to see the world, I dread a life lived like this. I am going to go to counseling and I am going to tell Katherine all this, hell I may just give her a copy of this email. I feel empty. I hate that you have discovered religion and that you spout off the biblical to me in hopes of making my commitment at 19 guilt me into staying. I hate that I know I don't believe it like you do and knowing that in reality, you would be better served by having a wife who loved you the way you should rather than one who continually wishes herself away. I feel trapped by guilt. I feel compelled to stay because you say you don't want to live without me. Does it count that I am caged? I have tried to play it off as needing an education, being Gay (which I still think I am), needing freedom, whatever and still you say "I will fix it, I will make everything better." You can't make it better. The person I am now isn't in love with you. I love you and care for you, because of our children, you will always be my friend if you want that. I do. I just don't think this is going to happen. Is it crazy to ask this? I want you to divorce me. I will give you primary custodianship, I will find a way to pay child support, I will do what is necessary, just do this for me. Let me go.
Click to expand...


:rose:

But, sweetie, PLEASE try to emote in paragraphs. That was a bitch on my eyes.
 
You asked for my advice. I gave it. Use it... or don't... but don't expect me to debate it. I have neither the energy nor the patience. It won't hurt my feelings in the least if you choose otherwise. Depending on my mood, I might not even say "I told you so" when it turns out I was right.
 
impressive said:
You asked for my advice. I gave it. Use it... or don't... but don't expect me to debate it. I have neither the energy nor the patience. It won't hurt my feelings in the least if you choose otherwise. Depending on my mood, I might not even say "I told you so" when it turns out I was right.
Click to expand...

That's high on my list of least favorite conversations - the request for "advice" which is really a request for total agreement, but which isn't clearly identified as such. Yuck.

I think it's only sporting to offer people some guidance. Something along the lines of "Don't you think X is the best option?" would be awfully helpful to the innocent bystanders.

Commiserations, Imp.
 
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