Isolated Blurt Thread

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sophia jane said:
I try so hard. I offer so much to so many, and so rarely do I ask for anything in return. It hurts to know that what I ask is not given, that simple questions are ignored, that the broken pieces of me are not even noticed. I'm tired. And I just want to know that I matter, that I'd be missed, that I'm even part of life, part of friendships, part of anything. I just want to feel that for one day, and then to be able to remember it on all the days like this when I'm invisible. I'm tired of being meaningless. I'm tired of offering love and support and kindness, of giving unconditionally and receiving nothing back.

And that I still feel this way after months of anti-depressants makes me think I will always feel this way, that I will always be alone, that maybe I was right all along- I am unlovable, untouchable because I'm broken deep inside.
*big warm Hug*:heart::heart: You do matter sophia jane. I face much of what you face. Years of Depression can wear one thin. Key to a better life is to nuture your light regardless of those around you. When we put ourselves in their hands it makes us vulnerable, strangely enough we have to distance ourselves in order to be closer. We have to be distant to heal and with renewed strength we can live in our full potential and a full rewarding interelationship with others. What I find is that people will disapprove and be threatened by any change and will try to interfere with a self nurturing experience. Be strong, you can do it. And always there is someone. It just takes time sometimes.
:rose:
 
sophia jane said:
I try so hard. I offer so much to so many, and so rarely do I ask for anything in return. It hurts to know that what I ask is not given, that simple questions are ignored, that the broken pieces of me are not even noticed. I'm tired. And I just want to know that I matter, that I'd be missed, that I'm even part of life, part of friendships, part of anything. I just want to feel that for one day, and then to be able to remember it on all the days like this when I'm invisible. I'm tired of being meaningless. I'm tired of offering love and support and kindness, of giving unconditionally and receiving nothing back.

And that I still feel this way after months of anti-depressants makes me think I will always feel this way, that I will always be alone, that maybe I was right all along- I am unlovable, untouchable because I'm broken deep inside.


You are not invisible.

You are not meaningless.

You will not always be alone. You will meet someone. I don't know where, when or how, but you will.

You are not unlovable, no-one is unlovable however badly they feel broken inside. You are inifinitely lovable and loving.

You are mistaken in all this. Believe me.

You have reached a point so low, you feel you will never come up again.

You will, believe me, sweet woman. You will.

And when you do, I'll be there to tell you, with a grin, a kiss, a hug...

I told you so.

:heart: :kiss: :heart:
 
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sophia jane said:
I try so hard. I offer so much to so many, and so rarely do I ask for anything in return. It hurts to know that what I ask is not given, that simple questions are ignored, that the broken pieces of me are not even noticed. I'm tired. And I just want to know that I matter, that I'd be missed, that I'm even part of life, part of friendships, part of anything. I just want to feel that for one day, and then to be able to remember it on all the days like this when I'm invisible. I'm tired of being meaningless. I'm tired of offering love and support and kindness, of giving unconditionally and receiving nothing back.

And that I still feel this way after months of anti-depressants makes me think I will always feel this way, that I will always be alone, that maybe I was right all along- I am unlovable, untouchable because I'm broken deep inside.

I remember the group chats, SJ and what fun you were. I remember them often. Your surprise about an old AH argument I told you about. Your telling me about a trip you had planned.

You are not invisible nor forgotten, SJ.

:kiss:
 
sophia jane said:
I try so hard. I offer so much to so many, and so rarely do I ask for anything in return. It hurts to know that what I ask is not given, that simple questions are ignored, that the broken pieces of me are not even noticed. I'm tired. And I just want to know that I matter, that I'd be missed, that I'm even part of life, part of friendships, part of anything. I just want to feel that for one day, and then to be able to remember it on all the days like this when I'm invisible. I'm tired of being meaningless. I'm tired of offering love and support and kindness, of giving unconditionally and receiving nothing back.

And that I still feel this way after months of anti-depressants makes me think I will always feel this way, that I will always be alone, that maybe I was right all along- I am unlovable, untouchable because I'm broken deep inside.

I don't dedicate award-winning stories to worthless people.

You are loved. I know it is hard to see it from your current POV, but please know it is true. :kiss:
 
sophia jane said:
I try so hard. I offer so much to so many, and so rarely do I ask for anything in return. It hurts to know that what I ask is not given, that simple questions are ignored, that the broken pieces of me are not even noticed. I'm tired. And I just want to know that I matter, that I'd be missed, that I'm even part of life, part of friendships, part of anything. I just want to feel that for one day, and then to be able to remember it on all the days like this when I'm invisible. I'm tired of being meaningless. I'm tired of offering love and support and kindness, of giving unconditionally and receiving nothing back.

And that I still feel this way after months of anti-depressants makes me think I will always feel this way, that I will always be alone, that maybe I was right all along- I am unlovable, untouchable because I'm broken deep inside.

{{{{{hugs}}}}} I hear you and know that I have felt exactly this way but it isn't true. People do love us and will appreciate us. :rose:
 
I think I'm on a diet. :eek:

I've never really been - always relied on jogging four days a week and just not going nutso at meal times. But lately the little bit of extra padding has become slightly more plush, which I take as a signal. So I'm trying to reduce the quantities at my two meals a day just a bit. That's all I eat - no snacks.

I've never trusted dieting, because it seems like making yourself hungry is like stretching a spring - at some point it will spring back, you'll overindulge, and it's all for nought. We'll see. I may be at an age where a bit more effort is needed, but perhaps at that age the effort becomes less onerous, too.
 
*huggles Maev!* You're certainly not any of the above!

Blurt: I'm SO looking forward to tonight's TV...Robot Chicken Star Wars marathon!!!
Yeah, I'm a total geek! :eek:
 
MagicaPractica said:
How rude! You're so much cuter than that... and nicer. :D

Hehe. Thanks. I've heard of people twisting the facts to suit their argument, but that just takes the cake.
 
There comes a time when you either need to "shit or get off the pot". The fact that you haven't speaks volumes about your situation. If you want people to take you seriously, then do something. You can talk 'till you're blue in the face and people won't believe you. Actions speak louder than words. Not the grand gestures, not the make-up mumbojumbo, but the things you do every day; those are the things that define not only who you are, but how others can expect to be treated by you.
 
McKenna said:
There comes a time when you either need to "shit or get off the pot". The fact that you haven't speaks volumes about your situation. If you want people to take you seriously, then do something. You can talk 'till you're blue in the face and people won't believe you. Actions speak louder than words. Not the grand gestures, not the make-up mumbojumbo, but the things you do every day; those are the things that define not only who you are, but how others can expect to be treated by you.

You could be a model for Irish Spring soap.
 
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