Isolated Blurt Thread

[TheeGoatPig]

Up too late, up too early. Just another day in paradise. *sigh*

Same here

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Poetic Blurt

Just a quick snippet as I came in last night... Not really sure what to do with it. Insta-poems always make me wonder.


Voyeurism

I saw the lights on
Third floor up
Fourth window from the right
The way their bodies moved
Or rather the way the shadows
Played across the blinds

Dancing, swirling, moving together
Each one undressing the other
Piece by shadowy piece
Until sihlouettes of bare flesh
Pressed into one indistinguishable figure
Her head leaned backwards
Hair tumbling down her back

I moved into the darkness
Not wanting to be seen
As I watched what I should not
Transfixed by the way she moved
Enjoying their union in the light
Alone in my shadowy solitude

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Just a quick snippet as I came in last night... Not really sure what to do with it. Insta-poems always make me wonder.


Voyeurism

I saw the lights on
Third floor up
Fourth window from the right
The way their bodies moved
Or rather the way the shadows
Played across the blinds

Dancing, swirling, moving together
Each one undressing the other
Piece by shadowy piece
Until sihlouettes of bare flesh
Pressed into one indistinguishable figure
Her head leaned backwards
Hair tumbling down her back

I moved into the darkness
Not wanting to be seen
As I watched what I should not
Transfixed by the way she moved
Enjoying their union in the light
Alone in my shadowy solitude

Beautifuly written Sal

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Beautifuly written Sal

thank you

Debating about rather to leave it as is ( all of 5 minutes to write) or if it needs a polishing and then make it into something more.

I swear I think my Muse is psychotic.

 

[impressive]

thank you

Debating about rather to leave it as is ( all of 5 minutes to write) or if it needs a polishing and then make it into something more.

I swear I think my Muse is psychotic.

I'd tweak the first two lines. Don't need the prepositions & they weaken it. Naturally, in order to see the lights, they're "on" -- and "up" doesn't add any clarity.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

thank you

Debating about rather to leave it as is ( all of 5 minutes to write) or if it needs a polishing and then make it into something more.

I swear I think my Muse is psychotic.

Hmm, well I like your muse... That is gorgeous Sal the way it is but I'm sure even if you decide to polish it it'll be great. 5 minutes *boggles*

 

[TheeGoatPig]

prepositions

I still have no iea what those are. It's been explained to me many times, but it just never sinks in. I don't think I ever will know either.

 

[impressive]

I still have no iea what those are. It's been explained to me many times, but it just never sinks in. I don't think I ever will know either.

http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions.htm

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Voyeurism

I saw the lights on the third floor
Fourth window from the right
As I came in from the night
The way their bodies moved
Or rather the way the shadows
Played across the blinds

Dancing, swirling, moving together
Each one undressing the other
Piece by shadowy piece
Until silhouettes of bare flesh
Pressed into one indistinguishable figure
Her head leaned backwards
Hair tumbling down her back

I moved into the darkness
Not wanting to be seen
As I watched what I should not
Transfixed by the way she moved
Enjoying their union in the light
Longing in my shadowy solitude

Thanks Imp...... this should a bit better. The last line fixed too to give better contrast to the one before it.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions.htm

Yeah...

I'm more confused now than I was before I followed that link. Thanks for melting my brain

 

[Guest]

bwahahahahahahahahah thats actually funny

 

[carsonshepherd]

Oh, oh shit, I don't know what to do.

 

[FatDino]

Okay, I guess this is it.

 

[Dar~]

Oh, oh shit, I don't know what to do.

Toilet paper?

 

[cloudy]

It's true, though.

It's warm here just about all year 'round.

 

[kendo1]

It's warm here just about all year 'round.

I'll have to move.

 

[rgraham666]

Unrelated: What an amusing little scumbag.

 

[slyc_willie]

Unrelated: What an amusing little scumbag.

What did he do now . . . .

 

[FatDino]

Where's Cloudy? I've finished the season finale and I did not get hot...much.

 

[kendo1]

Where's Cloudy? I've finished the season finale and I did not get hot...much.

She'll be busy cookin' up a storm. Ye know what these injuns are like, dancin' and a hollerin'.

(It might be dinner time)

 

[rgraham666]

What did he do now . . . .

No. This is new scumbag. Mind works about the same. 'Dalek' seems to be his debating style.

'We are the Daleks! The Daleks are the superior race in the universe! You will obey the Daleks! If you do not you will be exterminated! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!'

Claims to be a vet too.

 

[slyc_willie]

No. This is new scumbag. Mind works about the same. 'Dalek' seems to be his debating style.

'We are the Daleks! The Daleks are the superior race in the universe! You will obey the Daleks! If you do not you will be exterminated! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!'

Claims to be a vet too.

Geez, even worse . . . .

Been straying into the GB, Rob?

 

[kendo1]

Probably a day trip to Skaro.

 

[impressive]

Don't. Touch. Me.

I don't know how to make it any clearer unless you'd prefer I kicked you in the nuts.

 

[Guest]

Today's gross-out or, rather the year's is that while visiting my brother and SL this afternoon, my kid found my brother's Flesh Light that rolled out from under the ottoman. Worse, was the cap was off!

:ick emote: