Isolated Blurt Thread

[SEVERUSMAX]

Good luck!

Good God, Imp! That's a hell of an AV!

 

[damppanties]

It's amazing how our body functions on such little resources when we absolutely have to go on.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I played in the snow and felt like a kid again. It was good.

ETA- unrelated- i feel like i am an irritating presence to you. Perhaps i'm paranoid but i thought you were better than that.

 

[Vermilion]

I played in the snow and felt like a kid again. It was good.

'tis, isn't it?
x
V

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

'tis, isn't it?
x
V

lol good timing- just before i edited lol!

yes, tis

 

[Vermilion]

lol good timing- just before i edited lol!

yes, tis

Agreed. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative etc...

x
V

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

Thanks imp, and double thanks dampy!

Just got back. Love the school - very feng shui - and the staff i met was awesome! Now to figure out financial...

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

A red H has appeared next to my stroke and i dont know when that happened

Also, one of my poems has a rating of 5- it's only 2 votes but still a 5

I'm a relatively confused soul today...feeling a bit down, a bit good, a bit all over really. Played out in the snow which was nice, took some photo's on my SLR which was a huge cathartic experience as i havent really worked with my camera in a while. But still, stuff on my mind is proving a difficult weight to bare. *sigh*

 

[Misty_Morning]

blurt: Jesus Fucking Christ! That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my entire life!

ETA: I think I'm gonna be sick.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Sis may get to go home today. The pain they believe is Gastritis. . .

Gastritis is not a single disease, but several different conditions that all have inflammation of the stomach lining. Gastritis can be caused by drinking too much alcohol, prolonged use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as aspirin or ibuprofen, or infection with bacteria such as Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori). Sometimes gastritis develops after major surgery, traumatic injury, burns, or severe infections. Certain diseases, such as pernicious anemia, autoimmune disorders, and chronic bile reflux, can cause gastritis as well.

This would make sense to me. . .she was an alcoholic between the ages of 18 - 35... and drank some starting at 10, but didn't really get hooked till she could access it herself more easily. Illegal drugs and sex were also a big part of her life, off and on, starting at the age of 10. She's also always taken A LOT of aspirin or ibuprofen when she is hurting. . .I mean A LOT. She currently takes medication for reflux disease. They will be giving her medication for this.

She's been off the morphine since seven this morning and was able to keep lunch down (or she had when I left) . . .Hub and I took her husband and her eldest daughter, (her other kids are not with her, one is in the army, the other with her natural father) out to lunch.

They did find spots on her liver, so she is supposed to have an MRI done, so they can determine what those are and hopefully rule out any serious liver diseases or cancer.

Again. . .she abused alcohol and drugs for so long, this would not surprise me if she's got some kind of disease. She doesn't drink in excess now, but does drink socially. Her new husband (2 years in July - I think) has been so supportive and loving to her. I think she found a good one, though it took five tries to get it right.

People don't think about what they are doing in their youth. . . and then it suddenly catches up to you and you are left staring back, wondering why someone didn't do something. . .but we did. We tried so hard to help her.

My other sisters are drinkers. The oldest just as bad as the sis in the hospital now. The youngest is just as bad, if she doesn't live with my parents. By living with them, she has no access to the booze, because she has no job or money to get to anywhere to buy them. She's got a lot of phobias and is 27 with no prospects of a future. But during the few years she did have some sort of life outside of living with my parents she was into drugs and hard liquor, as well as cutting herself.

I guess my blurt is rather long today. . .

 

[McKenna]

Red:

My thoughts are with you.

 

[rgraham666]

*HUGS* Red.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Red...

 

[Vermilion]

Must be hard for you, Red, if you feel you have to try and hold them all together. Best wishes from me again, I hope it works out...
x
V

 

[a.j.angel]

They both need to get a grip, breathe and chill out!

 

[Captain Midnight]

Sis may get to go home today. The pain they believe is Gastritis. . .

I guess my blurt is rather long today. . .

Family problems are very difficult to deal with. You are really a wonderful lady for all you do for your family.

Hugs,

Captain Midnight

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Must be hard for you, Red, if you feel you have to try and hold them all together. Best wishes from me again, I hope it works out...
x
V

I think that is why I am here. I never was popular enough to date a lot. I had some dates, but only three ever got to the point of panting and fondling. . .so no sex for me till I was 20 and then it was with my fiance (now husband). I never cared for beer, which was always available in my home. The couple times I did drink too much and threw up. . .I decided nothing was worth that feeling, so drinking excessively has never been an issue for me. My sisters didn't bring the drugs home, and I didn't go to parties (again, just was never invited). . . so drugs were not ever presented to me.

I am not perfect. I tried smoking cigarettes at 16, decided I wanted to spend my allowance on something I didn't have to hide from my parents. I made out one night with a stranger. I was three months pregnant when I got married. I'm not a saint, I just think God had a reason for putting me here and perhaps it was too just be there for them all.

Mom and Dad are social drinkers, but were abusive with it until they moved from Indiana to Tenn. by that time though the oldest two had been exposed to it for 11 years and I only eight. The youngest was only 2. Mom and Dad stopped drinking, because they were away from the bar scene they were familiar with and their drinking buddies. Then we moved to another place and while they worked, I watched little sis. . .the olders went up to the bar at the top of the hill and would return before Mom and Dad got home. I KNEW to keep my mouth shut, if I didn't the results from the beating sister #2 gave me would remind me why I kept my mouth shut. . .Eventually we moved again, but the damage was done.

The youngest had learned that I was "controlled" by the fists of my sister and the abuse came from both ends. To defend myself and fight back to the youngest meant a more severe beating from the other. I can't remember all they did to me, but I remember some of the worse, my dreams bring back some too.

Yet, I still love them. I am still there for them when they need me for mental, spiritual, or financial support.

I asked my mom one time what she thought my purpose in life was, because I didn't know it. . . She told me later that it was to make people smile. Because no matter how down she was, she could stop and think of me and smile. Maybe that is my purpose, but sometimes it is very hard to be the one that has to smile for everyone.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I think that is why I am here. I never was popular enough to date a lot. I had some dates, but only three ever got to the point of panting and fondling. . .so no sex for me till I was 20 and then it was with my fiance (now husband). I never cared for beer, which was always available in my home. The couple times I did drink too much and threw up. . .I decided nothing was worth that feeling, so drinking excessively has never been an issue for me. My sisters didn't bring the drugs home, and I didn't go to parties (again, just was never invited). . . so drugs were not ever presented to me.

I am not perfect. I tried smoking cigarettes at 16, decided I wanted to spend my allowance on something I didn't have to hide from my parents. I made out one night with a stranger. I was three months pregnant when I got married. I'm not a saint, I just think God had a reason for putting me here and perhaps it was too just be there for them all.

Mom and Dad are social drinkers, but were abusive with it until they moved from Indiana to Tenn. by that time though the oldest two had been exposed to it for 11 years and I only eight. The youngest was only 2. Mom and Dad stopped drinking, because they were away from the bar scene they were familiar with and their drinking buddies. Then we moved to another place and while they worked, I watched little sis. . .the olders went up to the bar at the top of the hill and would return before Mom and Dad got home. I KNEW to keep my mouth shut, if I didn't the results from the beating sister #2 gave me would remind me why I kept my mouth shut. . .Eventually we moved again, but the damage was done.

The youngest had learned that I was "controlled" by the fists of my sister and the abuse came from both ends. To defend myself and fight back to the youngest meant a more severe beating from the other. I can't remember all they did to me, but I remember some of the worse, my dreams bring back some too.

Yet, I still love them. I am still there for them when they need me for mental, spiritual, or financial support.

I asked my mom one time what she thought my purpose in life was, because I didn't know it. . . She told me later that it was to make people smile. Because no matter how down she was, she could stop and think of me and smile. Maybe that is my purpose, but sometimes it is very hard to be the one that has to smile for everyone.

Well, I think that she had some idea there, because you always make us smile, even when we're down.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Sis may get to go home today. The pain they believe is Gastritis. . .


This would make sense to me. . .she was an alcoholic between the ages of 18 - 35... and drank some starting at 10, but didn't really get hooked till she could access it herself more easily. Illegal drugs and sex were also a big part of her life, off and on, starting at the age of 10. She's also always taken A LOT of aspirin or ibuprofen when she is hurting. . .I mean A LOT. She currently takes medication for reflux disease. They will be giving her medication for this.

She's been off the morphine since seven this morning and was able to keep lunch down (or she had when I left) . . .Hub and I took her husband and her eldest daughter, (her other kids are not with her, one is in the army, the other with her natural father) out to lunch.

They did find spots on her liver, so she is supposed to have an MRI done, so they can determine what those are and hopefully rule out any serious liver diseases or cancer.

Again. . .she abused alcohol and drugs for so long, this would not surprise me if she's got some kind of disease. She doesn't drink in excess now, but does drink socially. Her new husband (2 years in July - I think) has been so supportive and loving to her. I think she found a good one, though it took five tries to get it right.

People don't think about what they are doing in their youth. . . and then it suddenly catches up to you and you are left staring back, wondering why someone didn't do something. . .but we did. We tried so hard to help her.

My other sisters are drinkers. The oldest just as bad as the sis in the hospital now. The youngest is just as bad, if she doesn't live with my parents. By living with them, she has no access to the booze, because she has no job or money to get to anywhere to buy them. She's got a lot of phobias and is 27 with no prospects of a future. But during the few years she did have some sort of life outside of living with my parents she was into drugs and hard liquor, as well as cutting herself.

I guess my blurt is rather long today. . .

Hugs. Hope things get better.

 

[neonlyte]

Hugs Red - it's a difficult path to see, the one behind you; too often touched with darkness

 

[joeys-game]

Hugs Red.

 

[Vermilion]

I asked my mom one time what she thought my purpose in life was, because I didn't know it. . . She told me later that it was to make people smile. Because no matter how down she was, she could stop and think of me and smile. Maybe that is my purpose, but sometimes it is very hard to be the one that has to smile for everyone.

That is a hard role to have to play, but I think, hopefully, having that role should make you smile, too. When you look back on your life and the things you've done you won't have regrets and memories of all the people who you hurt, but instead all the people who you've helped and caused to smile and that ought to make you smile...
You're a strong woman and I really admire you, I honestly don't think I could do the things you do to help people who had treated me like that.

xxxx
V

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

V - sometimes I feel so weak.



Thank you everyone. It has just been a long day and sometimes I don't rant enough I think.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Sorry. Red.

 

[Vermilion]

V - sometimes I feel so weak.

We all do sometimes, but I think it was Fred Astaire who sang "pick yourself up, brush yourself off, start all over again."

It helps me, when I feel I have more to cope with than I can manage, to believe that we do live in a predestined world to some extent and that these things happen for a reason. I haven't figured out the reason, but I try to be confident that I'll get to the end of my life and go "oh yeh - that was why."

Hang onto the good things and the people who support you. Try and help other people, but remember that if you can't help them then that is ultimately up to them and it's not your fault.

If all else fails go and read the Themed AV Thread for a few minutes and you'll forget everything else - they're being *naughty*!
x
V