Isolated Blurt Thread

[lucky-E-leven]

We you, lucky.



Now what's your favorite color?

Red
Blue
Green
Black

(in that order)



p.s. When serum calcium levels are lowered, parathyroid hormone (PTH, or parathormone) secretion increases and stimulates bone to promote osteoclastic activity and release calcium to the blood. PTH reduces the renal excretion of calcium and facilitates its absorption from the intestine. Conversely, when serum calcium levels increase, PTH secretion diminishes to preserve the bone calcium supply; this is an example of the feedback loop system of the endocrine system.

p.p.s. Anyone that thinks nurses only learn how to wipe asses and catch vomit in nursing school can KISS MY ASS!

 

[entitled]

Red
Blue
Green
Black

(in that order)



p.s. When serum calcium levels are lowered, parathyroid hormone (PTH, or parathormone) secretion increases and stimulates bone to promote osteoclastic activity and release calcium to the blood. PTH reduces the renal excretion of calcium and facilitates its absorption from the intestine. Conversely, when serum calcium levels increase, PTH secretion diminishes to preserve the bone calcium supply; this is an example of the feedback loop system of the endocrine system.

p.p.s. Anyone that thinks nurses only learn how to wipe asses and catch vomit in nursing school can KISS MY ASS!

Thankee.

i don't think so, but will kiss your ass anyway.

 

[sophia jane]

Ok.
I've done really really well all day today. No breakdowns, no meltdowns, no freak outs.

But I just called fucktard. I mean ex. And I'm annoyed. I'm home with sick kid and he's out with whatshername. Gee, yeah I really believe you know that you couldn't come home to help with sick kids cuz of work.
Goddamn sonofabitchasshole.


But...I will not cry. Quick someone make me laugh or sumthing.

 

[entitled]

Ok.
I've done really really well all day today. No breakdowns, no meltdowns, no freak outs.

But I just called fucktard. I mean ex. And I'm annoyed. I'm home with sick kid and he's out with whatshername. Gee, yeah I really believe you know that you couldn't come home to help with sick kids cuz of work.
Goddamn sonofabitchasshole.


But...I will not cry. Quick someone make me laugh or sumthing.

What do you get when you cross a bicycle and a cactus?





Flat tires

 

[lucky-E-leven]

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the
counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a
full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy
bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place
and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom
and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he
immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."


.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices
that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He
is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and
although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father
of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.

"Holy crap," he says, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that
I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your
girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my
a**?
No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher."

 

[sophia jane]

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the
counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a
full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy
bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place
and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom
and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he
immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."


.

lmao. That is so so wrong.

 

[McKenna]

Quick someone make me laugh or sumthing.

Doesn't this horse look like he just told some smart-ass joke? He looks much too pleased with himself.

http://www.horse-of-dream.vsau.ru/ind.jpg

 

[entitled]

Doesn't this horse look like he just told some smart-ass joke? He looks much too pleased with himself.

http://www.horse-of-dream.vsau.ru/ind.jpg

hehehe... Reminds me of the horse from Disney's version of Wind in the Willows

 

[sophia jane]

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices
that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He
is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and
although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father
of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.

"Holy crap," he says, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that
I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your
girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my
a**?
No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher."

*snort*
I'd heard that one before except without all those bachelor party details. Your version is lots kinkier.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Doesn't this horse look like he just told some smart-ass joke? He looks much too pleased with himself.

http://www.horse-of-dream.vsau.ru/ind.jpg

I dunno about the joke thing but he's got Austin Powers teeth for sure.

 

[sophia jane]

Doesn't this horse look like he just told some smart-ass joke? He looks much too pleased with himself.

http://www.horse-of-dream.vsau.ru/ind.jpg

Shang should use that as an av when he's happy!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Your version is lots kinkier.

You're surprised by this?

 

[togitc]

Formula for a best-seller:

A great Christian relic is discovered, but bad guys know too. Good guys get their best, a believer who lost faith, to get item. Bad guys are either atheists or extremists. Add splash of proverbs and psalms with a hint of new testament jive, stir with lost sheep coming back to the flock and defeating the baddies, let simmer in religious book store and in a year or so you have a top 10 best seller.

Am I wrong?

 

[entitled]

Formula for a best-seller:

A great Christian relic is discovered, but bad guys know too. Good guys get their best, a believer who lost faith, to get item. Bad guys are either atheists or extremists. Add splash of proverbs and psalms with a hint of new testament jive, stir with lost sheep coming back to the flock and defeating the baddies, let simmer in religious book store and in a year or so you have a top 10 best seller.

Am I wrong?

Not if you're around here.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Formula for a best-seller:

A great Christian relic is discovered, but bad guys know too. Good guys get their best, a believer who lost faith, to get item. Bad guys are either atheists or extremists. Add splash of proverbs and psalms with a hint of new testament jive, stir with lost sheep coming back to the flock and defeating the baddies, let simmer in religious book store and in a year or so you have a top 10 best seller.

Am I wrong?

You're shopping at the wrong book store.
You won't find that shit on the shelves inside if the sign outside reads XXX.

 

[togitc]

You're shopping at the wrong book store.
You won't find that shit on the shelves inside if the sign outside reads XXX.

No but where I am you do see a sign with 'Christ' looking down on you.

 

[entitled]

You're shopping at the wrong book store.
You won't find that shit on the shelves inside if the sign outside reads XXX.

Can i play with your boobies?

 

[lucky-E-leven]

No but where I am you do see a sign with 'Christ' looking down on you.

Sounds like the computer lab at my University.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Can i play with your boobies?

Sures. Just don't go wild. I'm studying.

 

[McKenna]

Shang should use that as an av when he's happy!

Hee hee!



Okay, here's another one. How to speak Chinese in 5 minutes. Say these out loud.

1) That's not right..............................Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...........Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.................................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man....................................Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse...................................Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach? ................Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffe table..............Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...............Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here.......................Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...........Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone.................No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week................Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight.......................Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile............Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive.............Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great..........................................Fa Kin Su Pah

 

[entitled]

Sures. Just don't go wild. I'm studying.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Fine. i'll wait.

 

[entitled]

Found a couple of these...

 

[togitc]

Random

I be I, you be you?

We no wants to speak with they.

I think therefore I am
I am therefore I think
I can't think therefore I do not exist

There is no good there is no evil, there only is. For with good comes evil and evil comes good. So if one is, there is neither.

Names are merely a convience, you may call me Tog.

If you know the candle is lit you knew fire long before.

If we are all Gods children why was Christ so great?

 

[McKenna]

Found a couple of these...

OMG! The second one is hilarious!!!