Isolated Blurt Thread

[lucky-E-leven]

That's why I don't have any (locally anyway). Any time I try to make friends with someone, I end up doing all the work, contact, initiating, etc. That's not a friendship. I want a friend who is as interested in finding out about me and keeping in contact with me as I am them.

Exactly! It's actually a pretty consistent trend in my life, and I'm beginning to think I'm cultivating it, though I don't have the faintest clue how.

 

[matriarch]

Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow...........


Ooops........sorry, wrong thread. No blurt, just relief.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Exactly! It's actually a pretty consistent trend in my life, and I'm beginning to think I'm cultivating it, though I don't have the faintest clue how.

Yeah, no clue here either. I end up thinking, "What's wrong with me?"

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow...........


Ooops........sorry, wrong thread. No blurt, just relief.

I am so PUMPED for you, babe!

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow, Friday tomorrow...........


Ooops........sorry, wrong thread. No blurt, just relief.

I'm always so out of the loop I never know what's going on with anyone.

for whatever it is that has you nana dancing.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Yeah, no clue here either. I end up thinking, "What's wrong with me?"

Mostly, for me, it's just difficult knowing that you can be so close and share so much only to have it fall through the cracks and become meaningless over time. I really wish that didn't have to happen.

 

[neonlyte]

Just so's you know it is not just a female problem - I am absolutely crap at keeping in touch with people. It is my own fault, I put off things until later that I should do immediately. I make the excuse of being busy, but I ought to make time to stay in touch.

I'll get the birch branch out and give myself a good flogging.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I'll get the birch branch out and give myself a good flogging.

Or you could let me do it.

 

[neonlyte]

Or you could let me do it.

Meet you in the Sauna in five minutes

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Just so's you know it is not just a female problem - I am absolutely crap at keeping in touch with people. It is my own fault, I put off things until later that I should do immediately. I make the excuse of being busy, but I ought to make time to stay in touch.

I'll get the birch branch out and give myself a good flogging.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Meet you in the Sauna in five minutes

. .

 

[matriarch]

I'm always so out of the loop I never know what's going on with anyone.

for whatever it is that has you nana dancing.

It's Friday tomorrow, end of the week, another lovely weekend, and another week closer to my holiday. I'm on serious countdown. Thinking about what to pack, what to wear, making endless lists, constantly checking all my tickets and bookings.

Went out today and splurged an obscene amount of money on a new pair of prescription reactolyte spectacles I wear varifocals - they ain't cheap). I am sick of constantly swapping glasses in the car against the sun....so I decided to get them all in one neat parcel. I wouldn't let them tell me how much..just gave them my card, and didn't see how much until I saw the receipt afterwards. Yeeeowchhhhh!!!!

Some new pants, pj-shorts, couple of shirts, new sandals, even new luggage.

This holiday is going to be special, and I'm doing it in style.

THAT's what I'm nana-ing about.

 

[impressive]

This holiday is going to be special, and I'm doing it in style.

Can't wait!

 

[matriarch]

Can't wait!

Not long, gorgeous.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

OOhhh Mat, sounds like fun.

I'm hoping things work out for a vacation in July. There's just one thing standing in the way at the moment. If it gets worked out, then I'll finally get to meet some people I've been online friends with for 3 years.

 

[matriarch]

OOhhh Mat, sounds like fun.

I'm hoping things work out for a vacation in July. There's just one thing standing in the way at the moment. If it gets worked out, then I'll finally get to meet some people I've been online friends with for 3 years.

Phew...had to disappear and tussle with a mattress for a while....damn that thing fought hard.

I know what you mean, I'm hoping that this holiday will enable me to meet a whole bunch of my heroines, and show them to be just as special and wonderful as I've come to think of them.

 

[Guest]

I'm feeling HOT HOT HOT!!!

I've spent all day writing a DAMN HOT story and I feel good.

(The essay's on the back burner for a couple of days!)

I think he'll see this... This is for my mate, Lew, who's about to go on a trip with work for a couple of weeks:

Enjoy.

 

[Samandiriel]

I'm feeling HOT HOT HOT!!!

I've spent all day writing a DAMN HOT story and I feel good.

(The essay's on the back burner for a couple of days!)

I think he'll see this... This is for my mate, Lew, who's about to go on a trip with work for a couple of weeks:

Enjoy.

So this is what you've been up to!!!

 

[Samandiriel]

Bored.

Going.

 

[rikaaim]

In the middle of the night

As the stars shine bright along side the pale of a plump moon

When the world rotates out of control and all seems lost in the wake

For the tides the swell and rise to an earth crushing hight

All this is dreamed in the middle of the night

The beauty and peace of a lifeless sky

No life to kill no pain to hide

It's black and cold with no feeling at all

Yet the emptiness seems perfect

That drifting black void that seems to flow

A milky way with its silvery glow

Life seems to be lost in the midst of a daily grind

What's truly empty?

The cold, dark night with its simmering sky leading the immagination of all who gaze upon to dream of a limitless future

OR

Is it maybe

Just maybe

This place called Earth populated by billions, but inhabited by nothing?

Where have all the dreams gone?

They've fled this place to a greater beyond.

I look up to see my life

Not on this plane, but far beyond, viewing with a different kind of sight.

Look ahead, and back together...to live in the here and now...in the middle of the night.

 

[rikaaim]

At peace. It's over. I know it is. I wish it wouldn't be, but I have to let go. For things to have a shot, I have to let go.

I can be happy. I'm not going to let anyone steal that away from me. I won't let anyone hurt me. I have to take care of myself. I have to make sure that what I'm doing is healthy for me.

I'm going to be seeing a psychologist soon. I'm going to work through my issues and be a better me for the next person who wishes to know me.

I have to let go so that mistakes can be made. I can't say what to do. I can't protect what doesn't want to be protected. I can't warn against dangers that don't want to be warned against. Things uncontrollable can happen to anyone. Just because a person can protect themselves, doesn't mean their not in danger.

Shit, I can protect myself, but when I got in my car accident, their wasn't shit I could do. I happened in one second and I was wrapped in twisted metal. One false signal can lead to a very scary situation, despite how much you trust someone. Shit happens. That's life. Good luck.

I'm done with me. I'm done worrying if I'll be okay or not. I know I will be. I'm going to make sure I am. I have friends. I went out and got a drink tonight with this friend of mine from my Japanese class. We got my favorite kind of drink...a hot fudge milk shake from UDF.

This big butch burly woman, slightly older too, named Margo wouldn't give me one last night when I went to UDF at 2 in the morning. She said, "We got no hot fudge. I just put on pot." I'm like, "Well, what do you have." "Anyting but hot fudge." "Umm...okay...can I get a strawberry milkshake?" "Vah."

She had an accent I can't quite place right now. Anywhoo....

I slept pretty good last night. I hurt. Sure I hurt, but I'm going to. That's okay. It's okay to hurt. That's being human. I thought it was a bad thing to be human. I thought is was wrong to hurt and be angry and sad. I was always told to hide it. It's weak to cry. That's what I was taught. No. Being weak is calling your loved one a fucking whore because I can't deal with what's going on in my head. Being weak is cutting my arms because I don't want to admit that I have a problem. Now I think I'm a little stronger. I'm going to be going to some couseling sessions and really working out some problems. I'm going to make some people proud. Namely, myself. Thank you me for being strong enough to grow up and be the man you need to be. Thank you me for surviving. Thank you me for trusting God. I am proud of me. I've done good. I've done bad too. I admit that, but I am a human being. And that feels pretty good.

Thank you God for always being with me, even when I tried to leave you. Thank you Tommy for being the friend I needed. Thank you Amy for the ear and the shake. Get that tail light fixed. Hah! Thank you Dorcas for being my mom. I love you. Thank you mom for trying your best. Thank you dad for learning and winning. Thank you sis for being my closest and best support when I needed you the most. Thank you Tabetha for changing my life and showing me what the world really is, love. Thank you for showing me life is worth living. Thank you for showing me what family is. Thank you for showing me what a real home is. Thank you for the many times you cooked me dinner. I know I never took care of myself. You were always such a strong caretaker. Babe would be proud. I sure as Hell am. Do what you have to do loved one. Many people support your choice. May God be with you and protect you on your journey. Pack your bags well. Bring extra socks. May the underwear be optional, and may someone be there to see which option you picked. Good luck. Good night.




To all of those here who ever cared about me, Listers, my life has changed and you all have affected it. Don't let anyone ever get you down and say you mean nothing, or you are nothing. Every single one of you mean something to me. Every single one of you has someone out there, me, who thinks about you and knows you're special. Enjoy time on this planet, because it's short. Who knows how long we'll be here. Follow your dreams, but walk the path of stone and not the drifting footprints in the sand blown by the wind. I may never come back. I don't need too. I just want you to know, I care. I care and hope everyone finds what their hearts really want in this world.

Abs: Dear, you've shown me strength in myself that I couldn't trust myself to use. Thank you. I've unleashed my potential and seen what I can do when I just let go and trust. You help to show me that. You are strong and a force to be reckoned with.

Vella: You smile infects me daily being. Whenever I get down and think nothing in this world is decent or worth keeping, I can always come to see your AV and know that your smile alone is worth surviving for. You brighten my day more than words can say. I'm so happy that you have found your love.

Lucky: Words can not say how special you are. Your stories touch my heart, and addmittedly my loins, but your being touches my very soul. You are a most special person and deserve the wonderful life you have found with Vella. You understood beyond what I thought imaginable and shown me how to really look. You shown me how to see what I couldn't see. Your love and determination pushed me on the path I need to be. Thank you.

Vella and Lucky: Best of wishes to you both. I fear not for your future, but smile whenever I think of all the wonderful memories you shall create together. I promise to do my best to get on Hallmark to create a Mother's Day card that is targeted for lesbian mothers. ;P

"Dear moms: On this your special day...

*flip open card* *reads inside of card* When I asked you for a bike and you said to ask your mom, I was so confused. I spent hours asking each of you the same question and you both simply laughed with a diabolicle humor. Moms...not funny."

'Tis a dream I can only hope the markets will catch on too.

Shanglan: Friend, companion, editor, horse...I know your talents can take you as far as your imagination, and your hard work far beyond. You have proven time and time again that you can accomplish anything. Don't loose faith in yourself. We all need support and I'm here if you ever need me. You know how to contact me. You know I'll not shy away from the 96,000 word novel draft if you need ideas. We are friends. Thank you.

Carson: Go in peace and forge the path you wish. You have all the skill needed to really become a succesfull writer. Gain the confidence and just let it all go man. Just let it fly and get it done. You can do it. Nothing can stop you. As long as you don't stop yourself. You have all the qualities of a professional...and you like butt sex. How can you possibly go wrong? You can't!!! So don't even worry about it man. Too bad we never got that...um...thing...done. Maybe one day we'll get around to it, when the time is right, and the lube is plentiful... Good luck my friend. Go in peace.

Yui: A true friend and constant source of compassion and genuine goodiness. Your bright outlook is second only to your complete understanding of what needs to be said at the right place and time. Don't ever think yourself rude. I know you shy away sometimes. I like to hear what you have to say, because you actually have something to say. That's rare sometimes. You say things that need to be said. Don't ever stop. Be strong and I hope one day you find Mr. Day and Night. Until that time, may your dreams be sweet as fresh honey, and as spicy as a habanero peper. O-yasumi nasai. Ki o tsukete kudasai.



I'm sorry to those I left out. You all mean something special to me, but these things had to be said to these people. Time is running short and I fear the chance may not come around again. I had to let them know. Please understand. Why do I post this long post seemingly leading to nothing? Because I don't plan to come back here anymore. I had delusions of granduer that I would return when the time is right and settle back down with old friends and chat up a storm again. Laying back in my chair having fun and just shooting the breeze was the plan. But the best layed plans often go to waste, just has the time has. The night is here now. It's time to start my work and prepare for the road ahead. I have to pack my bags, metaphorically speaking, and get ready for a journey. This time, I'm not alone. I never was. I know that now. Friends...take care.

 

[sophia jane]

Completely unrelated~~

Why?

And is it worth it?

SJ

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Rika ~ You are full of passion and caring, and my wish for you is that you find everything you need to be happy in yourself so that you may share it with someone equally as passionate and caring when you find her. Good luck and be safe.



~lucky

 

[moonlight elf]

At peace. It's over. I know it is. I wish it wouldn't be, but I have to let go. For things to have a shot, I have to let go.

I can be happy. I'm not going to let anyone steal that away from me. I won't let anyone hurt me. I have to take care of myself. I have to make sure that what I'm doing is healthy for me.

I'm going to be seeing a psychologist soon. I'm going to work through my issues and be a better me for the next person who wishes to know me.

I have to let go so that mistakes can be made. I can't say what to do. I can't protect what doesn't want to be protected. I can't warn against dangers that don't want to be warned against. Things uncontrollable can happen to anyone. Just because a person can protect themselves, doesn't mean their not in danger.

Shit, I can protect myself, but when I got in my car accident, their wasn't shit I could do. I happened in one second and I was wrapped in twisted metal. One false signal can lead to a very scary situation, despite how much you trust someone. Shit happens. That's life. Good luck.

I'm done with me. I'm done worrying if I'll be okay or not. I know I will be. I'm going to make sure I am. I have friends. I went out and got a drink tonight with this friend of mine from my Japanese class. We got my favorite kind of drink...a hot fudge milk shake from UDF.

This big butch burly woman, slightly older too, named Margo wouldn't give me one last night when I went to UDF at 2 in the morning. She said, "We got no hot fudge. I just put on pot." I'm like, "Well, what do you have." "Anyting but hot fudge." "Umm...okay...can I get a strawberry milkshake?" "Vah."

She had an accent I can't quite place right now. Anywhoo....

I slept pretty good last night. I hurt. Sure I hurt, but I'm going to. That's okay. It's okay to hurt. That's being human. I thought it was a bad thing to be human. I thought is was wrong to hurt and be angry and sad. I was always told to hide it. It's weak to cry. That's what I was taught. No. Being weak is calling your loved one a fucking whore because I can't deal with what's going on in my head. Being weak is cutting my arms because I don't want to admit that I have a problem. Now I think I'm a little stronger. I'm going to be going to some couseling sessions and really working out some problems. I'm going to make some people proud. Namely, myself. Thank you me for being strong enough to grow up and be the man you need to be. Thank you me for surviving. Thank you me for trusting God. I am proud of me. I've done good. I've done bad too. I admit that, but I am a human being. And that feels pretty good.

Thank you God for always being with me, even when I tried to leave you. Thank you Tommy for being the friend I needed. Thank you Amy for the ear and the shake. Get that tail light fixed. Hah! Thank you Dorcas for being my mom. I love you. Thank you mom for trying your best. Thank you dad for learning and winning. Thank you sis for being my closest and best support when I needed you the most. Thank you Tabetha for changing my life and showing me what the world really is, love. Thank you for showing me life is worth living. Thank you for showing me what family is. Thank you for showing me what a real home is. Thank you for the many times you cooked me dinner. I know I never took care of myself. You were always such a strong caretaker. Babe would be proud. I sure as Hell am. Do what you have to do loved one. Many people support your choice. May God be with you and protect you on your journey. Pack your bags well. Bring extra socks. May the underwear be optional, and may someone be there to see which option you picked. Good luck. Good night.




To all of those here who ever cared about me, Listers, my life has changed and you all have affected it. Don't let anyone ever get you down and say you mean nothing, or you are nothing. Every single one of you mean something to me. Every single one of you has someone out there, me, who thinks about you and knows you're special. Enjoy time on this planet, because it's short. Who knows how long we'll be here. Follow your dreams, but walk the path of stone and not the drifting footprints in the sand blown by the wind. I may never come back. I don't need too. I just want you to know, I care. I care and hope everyone finds what their hearts really want in this world.

Abs: Dear, you've shown me strength in myself that I couldn't trust myself to use. Thank you. I've unleashed my potential and seen what I can do when I just let go and trust. You help to show me that. You are strong and a force to be reckoned with.

Vella: You smile infects me daily being. Whenever I get down and think nothing in this world is decent or worth keeping, I can always come to see your AV and know that your smile alone is worth surviving for. You brighten my day more than words can say. I'm so happy that you have found your love.

Lucky: Words can not say how special you are. Your stories touch my heart, and addmittedly my loins, but your being touches my very soul. You are a most special person and deserve the wonderful life you have found with Vella. You understood beyond what I thought imaginable and shown me how to really look. You shown me how to see what I couldn't see. Your love and determination pushed me on the path I need to be. Thank you.

Vella and Lucky: Best of wishes to you both. I fear not for your future, but smile whenever I think of all the wonderful memories you shall create together. I promise to do my best to get on Hallmark to create a Mother's Day card that is targeted for lesbian mothers. ;P

"Dear moms: On this your special day...

*flip open card* *reads inside of card* When I asked you for a bike and you said to ask your mom, I was so confused. I spent hours asking each of you the same question and you both simply laughed with a diabolicle humor. Moms...not funny."

'Tis a dream I can only hope the markets will catch on too.

Shanglan: Friend, companion, editor, horse...I know your talents can take you as far as your imagination, and your hard work far beyond. You have proven time and time again that you can accomplish anything. Don't loose faith in yourself. We all need support and I'm here if you ever need me. You know how to contact me. You know I'll not shy away from the 96,000 word novel draft if you need ideas. We are friends. Thank you.

Carson: Go in peace and forge the path you wish. You have all the skill needed to really become a succesfull writer. Gain the confidence and just let it all go man. Just let it fly and get it done. You can do it. Nothing can stop you. As long as you don't stop yourself. You have all the qualities of a professional...and you like butt sex. How can you possibly go wrong? You can't!!! So don't even worry about it man. Too bad we never got that...um...thing...done. Maybe one day we'll get around to it, when the time is right, and the lube is plentiful... Good luck my friend. Go in peace.

Yui: A true friend and constant source of compassion and genuine goodiness. Your bright outlook is second only to your complete understanding of what needs to be said at the right place and time. Don't ever think yourself rude. I know you shy away sometimes. I like to hear what you have to say, because you actually have something to say. That's rare sometimes. You say things that need to be said. Don't ever stop. Be strong and I hope one day you find Mr. Day and Night. Until that time, may your dreams be sweet as fresh honey, and as spicy as a habanero peper. O-yasumi nasai. Ki o tsukete kudasai.



I'm sorry to those I left out. You all mean something special to me, but these things had to be said to these people. Time is running short and I fear the chance may not come around again. I had to let them know. Please understand. Why do I post this long post seemingly leading to nothing? Because I don't plan to come back here anymore. I had delusions of granduer that I would return when the time is right and settle back down with old friends and chat up a storm again. Laying back in my chair having fun and just shooting the breeze was the plan. But the best layed plans often go to waste, just has the time has. The night is here now. It's time to start my work and prepare for the road ahead. I have to pack my bags, metaphorically speaking, and get ready for a journey. This time, I'm not alone. I never was. I know that now. Friends...take care.

Pasha,

I just read the message you left in the Last thread and replayed to it. Thanks

I wish you all the best my friend.

hugs,
Moonie

 

[mlady_france]

Rika

You know maybe this should have been left off the public forums. Maybe not every one involved wanted this announced to the whole world. Come to think of if, I think this isn't the first time you've brought a private matter to this forum and it pissed off other parties involved. Asking for help is fine, you want to announce that you're getting it, fine. But when a situation involves some one else, you really should consider if they would like it to be public knowledge before you go posting it. Just a thought.