Isolated Blurt Thread

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No worries. Such wounds as may be received are most likely to be verbal in nature, and probably well merited for the presumption of my comments. I shall survive them ;)

Shanglan
 
BlackShanglan said:
No worries. Such wounds as may be received are most likely to be verbal in nature, and probably well merited for the presumption of my comments. I shall survive them ;)

Shanglan
gloria gainor?
somehow the image of you prancing around and singing, I Will Survive is making me giggle uncontrollably
 
BlackShanglan said:
No worries. Such wounds as may be received are most likely to be verbal in nature, and probably well merited for the presumption of my comments. I shall survive them ;)

Shanglan


Eeep! Inquiring minds need to know.... :p
 
vella_ms said:
gloria gainor?
somehow the image of you prancing around and singing, I Will Survive is making me giggle uncontrollably

*laugh* Trust me ... the image of me singing anything is not for the weak of heart.
 
Paradise lost

Don't you hate it when you're soaking in a nice luxurious bath...jets are jetting... bubbles are bubbling... and your SO walks in and takes a dump right by your head?

This could be grounds for divorce... :devil:
 
elizabethwest said:
Don't you hate it when you're soaking in a nice luxurious bath...jets are jetting... bubbles are bubbling... and your SO walks in and takes a dump right by your head?

This could be grounds for divorce... :devil:
no, no....
just castrate him after getting him drunk...
toss it in the park
tell the police
the docs will sew it back on and hell make a porno flick and youll be rich enough to have two bathrooms.
 
elizabethwest said:
Don't you hate it when you're soaking in a nice luxurious bath...jets are jetting... bubbles are bubbling... and your SO walks in and takes a dump right by your head?

This could be grounds for divorce... :devil:

Or at least a second bathroom.
 
Sub Joe said:
:eek: :eek: :eek: :) :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


Me in front row of cinema at Silence of the Lambs
i know... you were smiling at the scene where the insano was playin with his nipples

tick tock clarice...

it puts the lotion on its back~
 
Haiku for Goldie Munro

Oh anguish and woe
Men everywhere in despair
Goldie got engaged


:heart: :kiss: :heart:
 
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Thank god! It's so good to be home! Why did I ever make that small cruise to the GB? I must have been crazy to go on holiday over there. I was getting a little queasy...must have been motion sickness.
 
Yay! I found my gun! *does happy dance*

Uh


(repeats to self) I will not shoot him. I will not shoot him. I. Will not. Shoot. Him.
 
Warning. Another random blurt of very strong emotions to follow. Please feel free to skip if you're not able, or willing or even care, to read:




What night is this now? The third? The fifth? The countless one? The night that I stay up yet again and wonder what my life is. The night again where I wonder who is controlling me. Can I even control myself? Should I? Should I even live my life? I fought so hard to think yes. I sacraficed a great deal to pursue an answer. Tonight be not full of hate and rage like a few nights ago. Tonight be a night of profound sorrow. To look back and know it's all a sham. Everything in this life is a sham. The fleeting moments of happiness. They only tease. They only dangle just beyond reach to be tugged by an invisible string when the hand reaches out. Why? Why do I even feel? How can I be so happy one minute, and utterly devstated the next? My soul, my very soul, feels empty.

I thought I knew you. I think I do. But whose image are you? Whose phantasmic shape take you? You say you love me. You say you only want me to be happy. You say I'm shelfish. You say my words are just that, only words. My actions prove me a liar and a hypocrite. By whose standards do you judge me? Fucking know me. You say you love me. You say you only want me to be happy. Your words recently have been malicious indeed. I'm the reason you want to die. I'm the reason you feel dead. I'm the reason you just want life to end. That hurts dear. Your words are not just that. They are the knife that cuts me to the very quick and rips me out. Random blurt? Yes.

You say she controls me. You say you've seen this before. You know her not. You know the situation. Do I hang on to a false hope? A lost love...

How I long to end it all. How I wait patiently for death's sweet release. Times will get better. That's what you'll say. That they will, right before they get devistatingly worse. How many years has it been now? Two? Three? I think three or four. Seven in total, some happy years, some tough years. Always there was a strong sense of oneness. When did we get severed? It was when you became shelfish. You'll lie and tell me you're not. You're only doing this for me. You only want me to be happy.

I can see it either way. I always could. That's my problem. A matter of love? An act of love? Or a means of control? I can see it either way.

Who do I listen to? Who do I follow? I follow me, but that means I lose something. What? What do I want to lose? This is my life. This is what will sustain and remain. Two people may get the full meaning of this, to the others, most of it is hidden.

You wish to offer me words? Words of kindness and advice? That's all they are, but are they? I used to think my words meant something. They don't mean anything to one person anymore. Know matter what I say, I am judged. That hurts beyond measure. I have forever given you the means to judge me, and I fear that you always shall. No matter what I do. No matter what I say, it means nothing now. I could give you the world, but to you it would be a sham. A scam. I'm just trying to tiddy up my mess. You need to be wooed. You need to be wowed. I need to be loved. I don't need the poems. The sonnets. The gifts or the dates. I need the love. You say you need those things to feel loved. You don't feel loved by me. I can only love you. I can not make you feel it. You say I'm wrong. I say I can't make you feel anything. You say I'm wrong. You say I make you happy when I smile, when you see me smile. I say you choose to feel happy when I smile. I love you. Why do you not choose to feel that? I feel like I have completely degraded you. Why do you not feel that? At times I find you little more that a fuckwhore. Where is your sense of that? I use you and discard you, and still you look at me with those loving eyes. But is it love, or comfort? Seven years is a lot my dear. This is our life. What shall we make of it?

To stay. To go. The choice is ours. You have a solo choice to make,as do I. I want this to work, but not like this. We are using each other dear. We are controlling each other. Why do I even post this here? In this thread? Because I know you'll spy on me. You have been the past few weeks.

Where were you when I fucking hurt straight to my very core a few nights ago? Where were you when I beat the shit out of the bed just to calm myself? To rage? Where are you now? I miss you so much. I could get you, but you can not stop the tears now falling. You have left my heart dear and I want you back.

We had something great once. When he died, so did you. You know who I'm talking about. You always compared me to him. I am not your father. I can not take his place. I can not fill that void. You want me to. I know you do. I wish I could, but I am me. He was selfless and giving. I try to find my happiness. That's all I'm doing here. Don't I have the right to be happy? You call that being shelfish. My arms hurt now from typing so much. I could type another hour, but this public forum I doubt would appreciate the space I take.

Why do I do this here? Why do I toss myself out to strangers everynight? Because I have nothing to hide. Everyone here can know me instantly by simply asking. If they wanna know my shame, they must but simply ask. But I involve you here. You don't want to be here. I'm tired. I don't want to fight anymore. I will concede it all. I will lose myself to restore you. Is that what you want? You wanna fall back into my lifeless arms comforted, thinking that I love you without condition. I do, but it is you who strap the conditions on me. Why can't you just let me be free? That's all I ever wanted. I don't want you to smother me. Let me breathe. Quit fucking judging me. I may surprise you. I'm gonna win this game of life, with or without you. I do pray that we be, but I will not force a dead love. I will fight, but in the way I always have. A submissive passiveness. How did I rage the storm before? I held steadfast to the rock as the abuse and trauma pounded my body. I held with every fiber of my being as the insanity tried to push me over the edge. Only you kept me here. In that moment I saw your face and stayed. You do not know how much I love you. Don't do this to me. Let the tears end. Please.

Tonight be not a vengeful rage. A spiteful anger. Tonight be me. Truly me. Feel me and find your answer. I pray I be it, but if not, I will live. Will you?
 
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