Isolated Blurt Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
I spent years working in an industry where I could be around kids on a daily basis (pre-schools and daycare centers.) As time progressed and my own womb remained bare I knew I had to move out of that industry or forever torture myself. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with my infertility and though many who know me casually think I’m a career woman who has no desire for children, they couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Today I spent the day with my niece, a bright and beautiful 12 year old on the cusp of teenager-hood. She could feasibly be my daughter given our ages. Days like today are my secret “mommy fixes”, days where I get my “fix” of motherhood to last me through a few more weeks and months. I’ve come to terms with my fertility issues and while I’ve let that part of my dream go, days like today make my ovaries twist into knots.

I’ll never know the sweet fulfillment of a babe suckling at my breast; I’ll never see a “first steps” or hear a “first word”; I’ll never hold a small hand in mine and know that he or she is part of me and one who I love. I’ll never know the peace of tucking a little one into bed, only to take advantage of the little one’s father in some blissfully decadent “adult time”.

So instead I am an auntie who makes my nieces smile and laugh. I try to teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself, it’s okay to be human. I support them in their endeavors from sports to music to dancing to anything. And for a few hours on a Saturday I let them know how much I love them and how much I welcome them into my life. Days like today make me feel very fortunate, indeed.
 
McKenna said:
I spent years working in an industry where I could be around kids on a daily basis (pre-schools and daycare centers.) As time progressed and my own womb remained bare I knew I had to move out of that industry or forever torture myself. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with my infertility and though many who know me casually think I’m a career woman who has no desire for children, they couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Today I spent the day with my niece, a bright and beautiful 12 year old on the cusp of teenager-hood. She could feasibly be my daughter given our ages. Days like today are my secret “mommy fixes”, days where I get my “fix” of motherhood to last me through a few more weeks and months. I’ve come to terms with my fertility issues and while I’ve let that part of my dream go, days like today make my ovaries twist into knots.

I’ll never know the sweet fulfillment of a babe suckling at my breast; I’ll never see a “first steps” or hear a “first word”; I’ll never hold a small hand in mine and know that he or she is part of me and one who I love. I’ll never know the peace of tucking a little one into bed, only to take advantage of the little one’s father in some blissfully decadent “adult time”.

So instead I am an auntie who makes my nieces smile and laugh. I try to teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself, it’s okay to be human. I support them in their endeavors from sports to music to dancing to anything. And for a few hours on a Saturday I let them know how much I love them and how much I welcome them into my life. Days like today make me feel very fortunate, indeed.

Beautiful Mck :rose: :rose:
 
McKenna said:
I spent years working in an industry where I could be around kids on a daily basis (pre-schools and daycare centers.) As time progressed and my own womb remained bare I knew I had to move out of that industry or forever torture myself. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with my infertility and though many who know me casually think I’m a career woman who has no desire for children, they couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Today I spent the day with my niece, a bright and beautiful 12 year old on the cusp of teenager-hood. She could feasibly be my daughter given our ages. Days like today are my secret “mommy fixes”, days where I get my “fix” of motherhood to last me through a few more weeks and months. I’ve come to terms with my fertility issues and while I’ve let that part of my dream go, days like today make my ovaries twist into knots.

I’ll never know the sweet fulfillment of a babe suckling at my breast; I’ll never see a “first steps” or hear a “first word”; I’ll never hold a small hand in mine and know that he or she is part of me and one who I love. I’ll never know the peace of tucking a little one into bed, only to take advantage of the little one’s father in some blissfully decadent “adult time”.

So instead I am an auntie who makes my nieces smile and laugh. I try to teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself, it’s okay to be human. I support them in their endeavors from sports to music to dancing to anything. And for a few hours on a Saturday I let them know how much I love them and how much I welcome them into my life. Days like today make me feel very fortunate, indeed.

:rose:

I'm here if you need me.
 
McK, as it's been said, i'm here if needed. Probably understand more than you'd think.
 
Big *HUGS* for McKenna.

I don't know if it's quite the same, but knowing I'm never going to have kids gets to me sometimes as well.

:kiss: :rose:
 
So sorry, McKenna. You are doing a beautiful thing in making yourself a strong friend and mentor to your neice. It's the only real solace for sorrow - to make some good out of it.

Shanglan
 
McKenna said:
I spent years working in an industry where I could be around kids on a daily basis (pre-schools and daycare centers.) As time progressed and my own womb remained bare I knew I had to move out of that industry or forever torture myself. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with my infertility and though many who know me casually think I’m a career woman who has no desire for children, they couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Today I spent the day with my niece, a bright and beautiful 12 year old on the cusp of teenager-hood. She could feasibly be my daughter given our ages. Days like today are my secret “mommy fixes”, days where I get my “fix” of motherhood to last me through a few more weeks and months. I’ve come to terms with my fertility issues and while I’ve let that part of my dream go, days like today make my ovaries twist into knots.

I’ll never know the sweet fulfillment of a babe suckling at my breast; I’ll never see a “first steps” or hear a “first word”; I’ll never hold a small hand in mine and know that he or she is part of me and one who I love. I’ll never know the peace of tucking a little one into bed, only to take advantage of the little one’s father in some blissfully decadent “adult time”.

So instead I am an auntie who makes my nieces smile and laugh. I try to teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself, it’s okay to be human. I support them in their endeavors from sports to music to dancing to anything. And for a few hours on a Saturday I let them know how much I love them and how much I welcome them into my life. Days like today make me feel very fortunate, indeed.

You are very fortunate. You have nieces who love you and love being around you. I am very sorry to hear about your "issues", we've never really talked, but I am sorry nonetheless. *big hugs*
 
i shouldn't have written it. The wording was way off, and will probably flip him out. What's worse, i actually SENT it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
 
entitled said:
i shouldn't have written it. The wording was way off, and will probably flip him out. What's worse, i actually SENT it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Does Ent need some hugs as well?
 
I'm actually a little bit teary eyed...

You are all marvelous people. Hugo, CD, Ent, Rob, Shang, and Arienette -Thank you for your warmth; thank you all for tolerating my blurts. :rose: I can't express how your words have touched me.



My ovaries have relaxed a bit. Copious amounts of alcohol and a hot bath will do that for a body. :D I am well, and tomorrow is a new day. :rose:
 
McKenna..i am the father of two boys..10 and 4..
Untill i was a father i could have said to you, i know how you feel or i feel for you or any number of things..

I am not a mother but i am a father, the feelings that i have for my kids and all the things you said that you wouldn't get to experience i am trying to put myself in your shoes, of having that taken away from me..
fuck man, i know im not the most eloquent speaker or writer but i would be numb with (i don't know, pain , anger, frusteration, sadness) now that i have experienced what it is to feel like a father, to be a father.
I don't know if im getting out what im trying to say but i really and trully feel for you and it hurts me to think and realize that what many people take for granted and abuse, others don;t even get a chance to choose.

:rose: joey
 
joeys-game said:
McKenna..i am the father of two boys..10 and 4..
Untill i was a father i could have said to you, i know how you feel or i feel for you or any number of things..

I am not a mother but i am a father, the feelings that i have for my kids and all the things you said that you wouldn't get to experience i am trying to put myself in your shoes, of having that taken away from me..
fuck man, i know im not the most eloquent speaker or writer but i would be numb with (i don't know, pain , anger, frusteration, sadness) now that i have experienced what it is to feel like a father, to be a father.
I don't know if im getting out what im trying to say but i really and trully feel for you and it hurts me to think and realize that what many people take for granted and abuse, others don;t even get a chance to choose.

:rose: joey



:rose: I think you spoke quite eloquently, Joey. Nothing is more sincere than what comes from the heart.

And yes, a person does develop a numbness. I personally call it being "comfortably numb".

:D

Hug your boys an extra time for me.
:rose: :kiss:
 
McKenna said:
I'm actually a little bit teary eyed...

You are all marvelous people. Hugo, CD, Ent, Rob, Shang, and Arienette -Thank you for your warmth; thank you all for tolerating my blurts. :rose: I can't express how your words have touched me.



My ovaries have relaxed a bit. Copious amounts of alcohol and a hot bath will do that for a body. :D I am well, and tomorrow is a new day. :rose:

I am very happy you're okay. Now I can go back to looking at that thong. ;)
Don't drink too much, hangovers are a bitch...
 
arienette said:
I am very happy you're okay. Now I can go back to looking at that thong. ;)
Don't drink too much, hangovers are a bitch...

Oh I've had my pity party, I'm done now, and sucking down water to compensate. I hate hangovers, too.

:D
 
McKenna said:
Oh I've had my pity party, I'm done now, and sucking down water to compensate. I hate hangovers, too.

:D

Oooh, a pity party and you didn't invite me? I'm always up for one of those. ;)
 
maggot420 said:
I love it when you take charge :kiss:
Sometimes I do like to drive. :D *cracking whip*

Now pass the meds and let's get mel-low yel-low. ;)
 
maggot420 said:
Ive got soem kik ass meds sweetie :kiss:

I'm not badly set up myself, after the last round of back spasms. Fortunately, I haven't the slightest temptation to take them. There's something about the bottle being associated with incapacitating pain that makes one take it quite seriously - and quite sparingly.

Shanglan
 
arienette said:
Meds? Where? Share? :p
;)
maggot420 said:
Ive got soem kik ass meds sweetie :kiss:
:kiss: :rose: :kiss: Feel better.
BlackShanglan said:
I'm not badly set up myself, after the last round of back spasms. Fortunately, I haven't the slightest temptation to take them. There's something about the bottle being associated with incapacitating pain that makes one take it quite seriously - and quite sparingly.

Shanglan
Poor horsey. http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/japan/77333.gif I hope you are feeling better.

Don't take them. Send them to me. One should never take meds when one doesn't feel well. Save them until you can enjoy them with tequila. ;)

I am kidding. Hope you are well. :rose:
 
BlackShanglan said:
I'm not badly set up myself, after the last round of back spasms. Fortunately, I haven't the slightest temptation to take them. There's something about the bottle being associated with incapacitating pain that makes one take it quite seriously - and quite sparingly.

Shanglan
Ive had some organs removed but the pain was never as fundamental as it was when i was going through rounds of back spasms. Those are debilitatingly awful. I feel for you my equine friend. :rose:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top