OhMissScarlett
Mrs. Aggravation
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2004
- Posts
- 9,103
Awww.
I miss you guys
y'all are so cute.
like little bunnies.
I miss you guys
y'all are so cute.
like little bunnies.
Isolated Blurt Thread
- Thread starter McKenna
- Start date
- Status
OhMissScarlett
Mrs. Aggravation
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- Jan 9, 2004
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- 9,103
thanks!minsue said:Nice ass
Hi Fool.
ElizabethWest
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 10, 2005
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- 15,313
Spanking, biting...
What the heck did I miss?
What the heck did I miss?
ElizabethWest
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 10, 2005
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Yes ma'am. 
OhMissScarlett
Mrs. Aggravation
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- 9,103
spank!elizabethwest said:
nothing, you're just in time.
ElizabethWest
Literotica Guru
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Awesome!!OhMissScarlett said:spank!
nothing, you're just in time.
minsue
Gosling
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ElizabethWest
Literotica Guru
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That was worth the wait.minsue said:
G
Guest
Guest
ha.. I just got a pda yesterday and have been trying to get it online to IM. I'm dumb. took me most of the day to figure out I needed a pda modem.. dohminsue said:Anything in particular or just in general? Not that I can help, I'm just curious.
My dreams are ceaseless nightmares. For 2 months straight now horrible dreams. No peace comes to me in my sleep. The past haunts me. Death haunts me. Physical pain and suffering that I actually feel in my sleep haunts me.
She came to me again last night. Back at my grandpa's place we were. Back when times were good...when love was true. I relived it all. I relived true love. Then I relived the affair...and how I ruined it all. I dreamt she took me back. I dreamt she was how she is and took me back. I was happy and sad at the same time. I was so happy to be with her...and so profoundly sad at what I had done.
I can't escape it. I can't escape my hate and disgust with myself. I can't find solace in my sleep. I can't forgive myself. My dreams haunt me and remind me constantly of what a wretched being I am.
I wake up refreshed from sleep, but my mind is in a constant state of torment. My dreams were always vivid enough, but now the anti-depressants I'm on makes them even more so. I can physically feel my dreams.
I'm constatnly at work. I'm constantly trying to win her back. I miss her so much. I can't lie to myself. My heart is broken. It's shattered right in two. I myself am in two right now.
I'm afraid to feel my emotions. When I do I get too overwhelmed. I learned that once again yesterday. Just when I think I'm starting to get some control...I learn that I have none all over again. I must keep myself in two halves at this point. I'm in a deciphering and logical mode to protect myself...and when I try to feel happy...when I try to feel at all...I get overwhelmed. Every emotion that I've been surpressing escapes me all at once.
I get angry. I get full of rage. It's mostly at myself. I hate myself for what I did, but not for who I am. I am not angry that I am me, because I am a good person. I am angry with myself because what I did goes against every fiber of my being. I took the coward's way out. I was a chicken shit and I knew it. There is so much I could have done better. I should have ended it first. I should have...
Shoulda, woulda, coulda...
Why can't I move on? Because I'm a heartless wretch, at times. I know deep down that I am a really good person. I know that one day I'll find someone special and we'll make each other happy. I know that this is right. I know this, but tell my heart. Please. It scolds me and burns me. It tortures me at night as a pentance. Subconciously I am destroying myself despite my highly concious battle to go on. Not just going on, but my battle to live, to really live.
I am a person torn now. I wish I could just be one. For a change. I wake up feeling in control of both mind and emotions, then the day goes on and I loose that control.
I go to see the doctor Monday. I'll talk to him about my meds and see if he knows a good psycologist I can see. I need some professional help at this point. I just can't win this battle on my own. Constant thinking patterns hound me. I just can't break them.
There is a difference between knowing who you are, and believing who you are. I know, but I don't believe.
She came to me again last night. Back at my grandpa's place we were. Back when times were good...when love was true. I relived it all. I relived true love. Then I relived the affair...and how I ruined it all. I dreamt she took me back. I dreamt she was how she is and took me back. I was happy and sad at the same time. I was so happy to be with her...and so profoundly sad at what I had done.
I can't escape it. I can't escape my hate and disgust with myself. I can't find solace in my sleep. I can't forgive myself. My dreams haunt me and remind me constantly of what a wretched being I am.
I wake up refreshed from sleep, but my mind is in a constant state of torment. My dreams were always vivid enough, but now the anti-depressants I'm on makes them even more so. I can physically feel my dreams.
I'm constatnly at work. I'm constantly trying to win her back. I miss her so much. I can't lie to myself. My heart is broken. It's shattered right in two. I myself am in two right now.
I'm afraid to feel my emotions. When I do I get too overwhelmed. I learned that once again yesterday. Just when I think I'm starting to get some control...I learn that I have none all over again. I must keep myself in two halves at this point. I'm in a deciphering and logical mode to protect myself...and when I try to feel happy...when I try to feel at all...I get overwhelmed. Every emotion that I've been surpressing escapes me all at once.
I get angry. I get full of rage. It's mostly at myself. I hate myself for what I did, but not for who I am. I am not angry that I am me, because I am a good person. I am angry with myself because what I did goes against every fiber of my being. I took the coward's way out. I was a chicken shit and I knew it. There is so much I could have done better. I should have ended it first. I should have...
Shoulda, woulda, coulda...
Why can't I move on? Because I'm a heartless wretch, at times. I know deep down that I am a really good person. I know that one day I'll find someone special and we'll make each other happy. I know that this is right. I know this, but tell my heart. Please. It scolds me and burns me. It tortures me at night as a pentance. Subconciously I am destroying myself despite my highly concious battle to go on. Not just going on, but my battle to live, to really live.
I am a person torn now. I wish I could just be one. For a change. I wake up feeling in control of both mind and emotions, then the day goes on and I loose that control.
I go to see the doctor Monday. I'll talk to him about my meds and see if he knows a good psycologist I can see. I need some professional help at this point. I just can't win this battle on my own. Constant thinking patterns hound me. I just can't break them.
There is a difference between knowing who you are, and believing who you are. I know, but I don't believe.
impressive
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2003
- Posts
- 27,372
77 days 'til school resumes. *sigh*
Edward Teach
Mellow
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- Aug 29, 2003
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- 3,157
You stole something that would have belonged to you anyway within a few days, lied about it, then admitted it. Just look at you now, you myopic fuck.
ElizabethWest
Literotica Guru
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OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG
I cannot fucking believe this
I cannot fucking believe this
sophia jane
Decked Out
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- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 15,225
Sigh. What's the point?
SJ
SJ
carsonshepherd
comeback kid
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- Jan 24, 2004
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sophia jane said:
is it contagious???
minsue
Gosling
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- Apr 27, 2002
- Posts
- 22,062
You're a better man than I, Gunga Din. I'd have just gotten pissed and given up. There are few things in this world that can infuriate me like electronic devices that don't do what I want them to do. I think it's because I don't understand how they work. I know what I need to do in order to accomplish what I want, but I don't know the why so I feel so damned helpless when the fuckin' thing won't work.neonurotic said:
sophia jane
Decked Out
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- Feb 10, 2005
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- 15,225
carsonshepherd said:is it contagious???
I hope not. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
SJ
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