Is your fetish hotter when it's only sexy/sexual for the audience?

[RedHatter76]

I have two main fetishes (peeing and breastfeeding), but one thing I've noticed that is common to both of them (as well as my minor fetishes) is what I call "fourth-wall eroticism." Basically, I like it best when the activity is only sexual or sexy for outside observers (i.e. those behind the proverbial fourth wall). While it should be unorthodox in some way, I strongly prefer that the people who are actually involved do it for non-erotic reasons (or at least pretend to).

Those reasons mainly include desperation or convenience. I don't really like it if the participants are deliberately seeking to get aroused or to arouse someone else, and for me, having them accidentally discover that it turns them on is only slightly better. In short, the less hot it is for them, the hotter it is for me.

For example, despite my breastfeeding fetish, there seems to be precious little relevant content that really does much for me, because it's mostly lesbians or straight couples using lactation as a form of foreplay. For me at least, it's much hotter if it's just part of a really unorthodox friendship or even familial relationship.

I'm curious as to how common this is with fetishes. How many of you prefer that the sexiness/sexuality of whatever you're fetishizing be non-deliberate? If anyone wants to share their views, I'd like to hear them!

 

[kc_sweetNsour]

I will admit that I engage in many things that maybe aren't to everybody's taste. And it is cool if it isn't. I always test the water. But if you find someone that you are chatting with, that is completely in to your adventures, it makes the discussion so much hotter.

 

[sunandshadow]

For me it's pretty much the opposite - I'm not aroused by people doing any particular actions unless the people doing them are aroused. An action that I actively wouldn't want to do myself can become arousing to read about if the character doing it finds it arousing.

 

[ilikemaskedpatients]

Interesting OP! This is my first post; I can't seem to find a general intro area (there's kind of one in BDSM, but I'm not interested in that activity). But my main fetish is seeing girls in protective masks. And specifically in situations where she has to wear one medically (i.e. transplant or massive allergy).

So, presumably, it's not fun for her, but I am enjoying it. I came across this fetish very early on, likely as the result of my various surgical hospitalizations growing up.