Is this wrong of me to think?

[southernsky]

I don't see why this is such a hot button topic. AS LONG AS YOU TELL HER FIRST what's going to happen and what you want, I don't see anything wrong with the "give me all you have, for tonight" theory. Hell, people can pee on each other during sex for goodness sakes, I should think a person should be able to say I love you, as long as the partner knows what you mean, why you're saying it, and that it only applies to that particular moment. Just like you wouldn't walk up to someone and perform any random sexual act unless you wanted to get slapped, kicked, and/or incarcerated

I didn't read into the OP that he was thinking about tricking his partner into thinking he has false feelings for her.

 

[hiddenleaf]

I only see one way in which you can safely do this, and that's to specifically talk about it beforehand. If you told her in advance that you wanted to be able to use the words "I love you" with this meaning, and she understood and was OK with it, then cool. You'd have to specifically discuss the use of those words; if you discussed the limits of your relationship but didn't discuss the part about saying "I love you," then it could be super confusing for her.

Without advanced discussion, well.... I take "I love you" as a statement of an ongoing thing, not a feeling-of-the-moment, and I think that's true of a lot of women. So, yeah, hearing it "in the heat of the moment" from a guy who wouldn't say it at other times would /really/ cause problems for me in one way or another.

If it were a man I was developing feelings for, I would be really hurt if he said he loved me and then afterwards said he only meant it in a sexual way. That could be devastating and humiliating.

On the other hand, if it were just a fling, and I didn't want anything serious, I'd be really scared if he said "I love you"... I'd think he was taking it way too seriously, I'd be afraid that I was really going to hurt him by saying that all I wanted was some fun, and I'd probably spend the rest of the sex session stressing out about that instead of enjoying myself... That's assuming I didn't stop things right there with a "Whoa, we need to talk about this..."

 

[hiddenleaf]

P.S. You wrote about wanting to "kinda throw my entire being into the moment, dedicate myself entirely to it, but then resort to my normal feelings afterwards"--cool! I think that's wonderful; it's only the *words* that are a problem. If you could find other words to use to express how you feel in the moment....