Is this a lesbian experience?

[Marie2675]

I don’t know if this is a “how to” or more like “What is this” question:

I’m a 28-year-old female college student, and I don’t know if I’m attracted to my mentor (professor) who is a lesbian and has a girlfriend. We have become friends and I don’t want to jeopardize our relationship (after all I have to work with this woman). I’ve never been able to separate friendship from sex, and whenever I had sex with a male friend it has ruined the relationship. I’m just curious, to be honest the idea of going down on a woman is rather repulsive, but I don’t know if that’s just society’s influence. I enjoy having sex with men, and often fantasized about having sex with more than one man at a time. I have read a few stories that depict lesbianism and it has turned me on. Lately I have been masturbating a lot and I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had sex in a while (a year and a half). I don’t fantasize about my professor, in the sense that I picture us doing a sexual act. I don’t know if it’s that I’m horny or that I want to explore an undeclared fantasy in my subconscious. I’m not afraid of labels. Is this normal? Should I explore my feelings? Obviously I feel the inclination to say or do something. Just don’t know what.

 

[bilori]

I would ask your professor if she would mind if you could be frank with her, and tell her how you feel. Most professors are open minded, and she sould be, especially if she is lesbian. She may not be interested in experimenting with you you sexually, because she may have a monogomous relationship with her girl friend, but i'm sure she would be willing to listen and offer suggestions.

 

[CallaLily]

You don't have to define yourself as "lesbian". It's perfectly okay to want men and women... but since you said that it is difficult for you to seperate friendship from sex, if you do decide to explore this, it might be a good idea to stay away from your professor, especially since this is a path you aren't completely sure you want to take. If you really want to explore this, feel free. You don't have to go down on a woman... that's not all it's about. Sometimes, just kissing another woman or touching her is more erotic/sensual/pleasurable than oral sex. Good luck to you.

 

[DDebby]

I have to Totally agree with both of you. Marie dont concern yourself with the label, thats not what is important.

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

Give her a call, see if she wants a date, then explore your sexuality.

Finally tell us all about it!

Oh, one other thing - dont listen to a word i said!

 

[StevenWill]

Loaded

This is a loaded situation. You are not sure and you don't know how you will feel afterward if you do. It's not worth ruining a working relationship and it might make for many uncomfortable days ahead. Sit tight and perhaps explore this with friends your age who you do not work for.

Dr. Steve

PS If going down on a woman is repulsive, then bring on the repulsion--repulse me please.

 

[ApplesMcgee]

I agree

I would just speak to your professor and let her know what you are feeling. Not actually try to make a pass at her, just let her know what you think.

Also, I personally think that until you have a sexual encounter with some one of the same sex you aren't gay or lesbian.

PowrDragn

 

[Amfig]

I'd stay away from it. You have to work with this woman. You said in your post that having sex with a guy has screwed up those relationships. Relationships that work on a personal, business and sexual level are rare. Almsot never work out, with the possible exception of Mom N Pop opening the Mon N Pop store.

Would you rather have a job or a bedmate. That simple.

 

[princessa]

um... she already HAS a girlfriend?

besides... if profs have relationships/sexual activity with students, it can mean they get FIRED... so know her job could be on the line...

good luck

 

[Rupali]

I would say you should try to keep the relationship professional. After all, she's a professor and you work for her. There are too many downsides to this situation.

Having said that, though, I have to reiterate what others have said and say that these societal labels attempting to define human sexuality are a little silly. If you're attracted to someone, and there's nothing else in the way, go for it.

 

[CallaLily]

Rupali, you said it! If you want to explore being with women... it doesn't make you a lesbian, although being a lesbian is perfectly okay.

 

[clairepenn]

Whether or not you decide you are attracted to women, you should stay away from this particular woman. Not only is she your prof, but she already has a girlfriend. It's no different than if you were attracted to a male prof with a wife/fiancee.

Crushes on teachers, and particularly mentors, are perfectly normal. You're in a situation where someone is being particularly giving and caring to you; who wouldn't find that attractive? But IMO crushes on profs are best left just as that...crushes. I don't see the point in confessing your feelings to this woman. All it will do is make both of you feel awkward, and it might destroy the mentor relationship.

You should also work on your inability to separate friendship from sex before you hook up with anyone else, male or female. Until this is resolved, you'll have difficulty maintaining a healthy relationship.

 

[Pervert]

What if?

You were so damn sexy, she just had to make a pass at you ? That would give you the upper hand, with the ball in your court. Tennis anyone?

 

[funwdi]

Experimenting

I don't like labels, and I would never define you as a lesbian. Even women who have had experiences with other women may be just experimenting. That's just fine! All of us have SOME sort of attraction to the same sex, even if it's just a little bit. Many people don't admit it, and many don't act on it. I think a woman who has decided to encounter women-only relationships for the rest of their lives and are comfortable with only women are the only true lesbians, if you want to put a label on anything.
I don't know if I would say anything to the professor...you may feel uncomfortable with her after, even if she's not. She has a girlfriend, yes? If it's just information-type questions, she could probably help you out a lot. If it has to do with her, then I would say maybe not.

 

[cruzn2u2]

Female Professors and young female students

I had an older lover (60) that once was a Harvard professor. She was married and had an open marriage with her husband for over 40 years. During her career at Havard and at her most recent city college where she teaches, she preferred younger male lovers and took them to bed after each semister. Sometimes two at a time. One evening she wanted to eat at the local Hooters for some reason. While waiting there, a young female student that was waiting tables at Hooters came up and said hello. I could tell both liked each other and my lover mention she loved to lick her ass. I said, I did not know you liked women? She said she had not before but lately wanted to taste some young pussy. So later that night I went back to hooters and found that student. I asked her what she thought of her professor and she liked her alot. So after a little encouragement and $300 bucks I got her to seduce my lovely professor. We made arrangements at a hotel and she came early before my lover. Once my lover arrived, I blind folded her and undress her. As I satisifying her orally, the female student came in totally naked and switch places with me. Sarah started moaning out loud and took off her blindfold and smiled. As I watched them both come to orgasm for over an hour, they jested me to join them as well. It was a great night and we have done this two more times with other female students without having to pay them.

 

[Eilan]

Cool story, brah.

Now please stop bumping threads that are almost a decade old.