Is this a BDSM activity?

[Aerolineas]

As pointed out (by Yukon Nights, thank you) BDSM breaks down into

B-D Ds S-M, I see tons of s, does that mean it would be a good BDSM story? (As opposed to, say, 'Group Sex' as 95% of the time there are 3+ participants in the active sexual activities.) Is control without any physical pain a BDSM activity? (Sorry I have just never seen a need to 'define' what it 'is' before.)

Carol(female) meets Harv(male) and Dylan(male), they become friends, business partners, and lovers. the business fails and Dylan leaves while Carol and Harv move on to work together as employees elsewhere. Carol is very submissive and offers herself sexually to all of her male friends, Harv marries Carol, they move around going from job to job until the opportunity arises to start another business together.

(I don't want it in LW, I'd rather not publish it than have it in LW. There is nothing misogynistic in it, and Harv is not a 'cuck' or a 'pimp.' She is not a 'whore,' maybe she is a 'slut,' but isn't that just a word that describes a woman who enjoys sex as much as a man does? Her friends are mostly her co-workers, she is an equal and respected on the job, she just chooses to 'give of' herself.)

IMHO paragraphs 6 & 7 Evoke the mood of the piece.

While I am pretty much freely used by all of the guys in the ‘club,’ I married Harv because he completely understood that I needed boundaries. He isn’t afraid to do what is good for me, regardless of what I tell him that I want. He pays attention to me, acts in my best interest, and is invariably right. Most of all he understands my need to have someone else control my orgasms. I live by the notations on the kitchen calendar. I go from two weeks of constant stimulation and constant orgasms to two weeks of receiving the same stimulation -- just on a different schedule -- without reaching a single orgasm.

It is heaven, and it’s hell, all wrapped together tightly, and I love it. I'm being true to my basic biology, a ‘human animal’ forsaking neither half of myself. I’m locked -- with a tiny suitcase lock -- in my leather chastity belt while I’m at work, kept completely naked in our apartment, and used on demand by the ‘guys.’ I wear a conservative one-piece swimsuit to the complex’s swimming pool, although they may finger me there if nobody else is present; and a sundress, without panties if I have a chaperone, or over that locking chastity belt if I am not with one of the ‘guys.’

Thanks

 

[Primalex]

Is control without any physical pain a BDSM activity?

Sometimes.

The control your employer has over you is likely not due to physical pain, yet still no BDSM activity. If the employer forces you to suck his cock, it is an activity which can be found in BDSM activities, but it is considered to be out of the bounds of BDSM, due to the lack of consent or meta-consent of the person being forced.

The control I try to exert when I say:"Go make me a sandwich." and the reaction to it can be a BDSM activity - or not; this very much depends on the perception of the participants.

in my leather chastity belt while I’m at work

Yeah, well, that's not how it works, outside sex stories.

 

[Aerolineas]

I’m locked -- with a tiny suitcase lock -- in my leather chastity belt while I’m at work

Yeah, well, that's not how it works, outside sex stories.

 

[Aerolineas]

My story was rejected...

The note was polite. It starts with boilerplate recognizing my effort and regretting how the policy affects my story, and that it is a business decision, not a judgment based on the quality of the work but: "we don’t accept stories that specifically identify people, places, or businesses by name or that could be reasonably construed to identify specific people, places, or businesses." (my bold)

I think the disclaimer explains the issue pretty well ...

The following is a work of fiction, not a biography. The events described did not happen to the author or anyone else she, any collaborators, or beta readers know. The setting is a fictional winery in a unique place that no longer exists, a collateral casualty of the events of 09-11-01. Except for Pelee Island, all of the islands mentioned were part of Colonel Blanchard’s original land grant confirmed by the treaty of Ghent.

They were ‘traded’ to Canada (Great Britain) in 1864, with only the sovereign rights to the land being exchanged. During prohibition, the winemaking industry was developed and it became a popular tourist destination in the 1950s. That business declined in the 1980s and was finally extinguished by new travel restrictions. Most of the old wineries are now Provencial Preserves. All of the characters in this story are over 17 years of age.

Thanks everyone

 

[Ginlover]

Control without pain is very much a thing. Mental domination and mindfucks in google should explain. Fetlife groups also do it well.
Honour bondage
Tasks
Predicament bondage
Orgasm control/denial

Using a tens machine on someone at a low enough setting it is not painful but because of the pads location there is fear it might hurt. Hand the control box to the submissive and tell them they must just hold it. They could physically switch it off, pull the lead out, remove the pads, but instead they follow the instruction with only their will power.

Give the sub a key for his cock cage but tell him he must not use it without the dominants express permission. That’s massive control with no physical pain — and an excellent mindfuck.

When I read the extract on AH I thought it sounded very much like BDSM. Carol has given authority for her sexual interactions to her husband. You mention she trusts him and let’s him make the decisions because he knows her limits and her.. It’s a far more realistic description of consensual power exchange and D/s than some writers suggest. Where you might have an issue is realistic subtle authority transfer doesn’t feature often in the popular stories. More highly read and rated stories feature non consent/ coercion and manipulation (none of which should feature in a consensual dynamic) or dominants who are cartoon kink dispensers.

 

[Aerolineas]

Control without pain is very much a thing. Mental domination and mindfucks in google should explain. Fetlife groups also do it well.
Honour bondage
Tasks
Predicament bondage
Orgasm control/denial

Using a tens machine on someone at a low enough setting it is not painful but because of the pads location there is fear it might hurt. Hand the control box to the submissive and tell them they must just hold it. They could physically switch it off, pull the lead out, remove the pads, but instead they follow the instruction with only their will power.

Give the sub a key for his cock cage but tell him he must not use it without the dominants express permission. That’s massive control with no physical pain — and an excellent mindfuck.

When I read the extract on AH I thought it sounded very much like BDSM. Carol has given authority for her sexual interactions to her husband. You mention she trusts him and let’s him make the decisions because he knows her limits and her.. It’s a far more realistic description of consensual power exchange and D/s than some writers suggest. Where you might have an issue is realistic subtle authority transfer doesn’t feature often in the popular stories. More highly read and rated stories feature non consent/ coercion and manipulation (none of which should feature in a consensual dynamic) or dominants who are cartoon kink dispensers.

I have excellent conversations with all of my fictional characters. So mom, if you happen to read this -- 'cause I know you have an account here -- the info presented is all coming from 'Carol,' not from your daughter.

Carol knows it's a 'thing.' It's a wonderful thing, her 'thing' with Harv. She just never had a need to put a label on it until she wrote her story. ('Carol' wrote it, I just edited it. )

I have endured a bit of pain. Pain that I inflicted on myself, like running a marathon in a certain amount of time or climbing a sheer rock face. But nobody inflicted it on me, I chose to do it, and that is important to me. I don't find coercion to be sexy. Harv doesn't take Carol for granted, abuse, or demean her. She does what he says to do because she wants to. She recognizes that he is absolving her of all responsibility, allowing her to be her animalistic self.

For her, it's liberating to allow him to control all aspects of her sexuality. Something she was raised in a way that gave her an encyclopedia -- remember those things -- of conflicted feelings about. She was taught to obey and submit and she is obeying and submitting. She has sex with Davey, or Diane because Harv tells her to. If she enjoys it, that is Harv's doing. She has an orgasm IF and WHEN Harv tells her to. When she doesn't ... If she doesn't for two days or two weeks, then it's like being a kid again and waiting for her birthday or Christmas to come.

Except she knows what her present will be.

 

[Ginlover]

I have excellent conversations with all of my fictional characters. So mom, if you happen to read this -- 'cause I know you have an account here -- the info presented is all coming from 'Carol,' not from your daughter.

Carol knows it's a 'thing.' It's a wonderful thing, her 'thing' with Harv. She just never had a need to put a label on it until she wrote her story. ('Carol' wrote it, I just edited it. )

I have endured a bit of pain. Pain that I inflicted on myself, like running a marathon in a certain amount of time or climbing a sheer rock face. But nobody inflicted it on me, I chose to do it, and that is important to me. I don't find coercion to be sexy. Harv doesn't take Carol for granted, abuse, or demean her. She does what he says to do because she wants to. She recognizes that he is absolving her of all responsibility, allowing her to be her animalistic self.

For her, it's liberating to allow him to control all aspects of her sexuality. Something she was raised in a way that gave her an encyclopedia -- remember those things -- of conflicted feelings about. She was taught to obey and submit and she is obeying and submitting. She has sex with Davey, or Diane because Harv tells her to. If she enjoys it, that is Harv's doing. She has an orgasm IF and WHEN Harv tells her to. When she doesn't ... If she doesn't for two days or two weeks, then it's like being a kid again and waiting for her birthday or Christmas to come.

Except she knows what her present will be.

Err that's what I've said. Your extract suggests a story written about consensual power exchange.
Your extract does sound like it's a BDSM story
Your extract does suggest D/s

So I'm sorry, but I dont understand this post as it appears to be directed at me in a negative condescending way.

 

[Aerolineas]

So, I'm sorry, but I don't understand this post as it appears to be directed at me in a negative condescending way.

My apologies, I thought that I was agreeing with you and elaborating. At least that was what I meant to be doing.

 

[Ginlover]

My apologies, I thought that I was agreeing with you and elaborating. At least that was what I meant to be doing.

Lol, it was you quoting me then saying "if you read this mom" as if my comment was acting like your mother.

 

[Aerolineas]

Lol, it was you quoting me then saying "if you read this mom" as if my comment was acting like your mother.

Went right over my head...... Whizzzz .....

 

[Jamie_and_Lisa]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerolineas View Post
I’m locked -- with a tiny suitcase lock -- in my leather chastity belt while I’m at work

Quote:
Originally Posted by Primalex View Post
Yeah, well, that's not how it works, outside sex stories.

Paul -- he is quite handy, an artist in metal actually -- made us both these little devices. He patterned them off something we saw in an old French film. A chastity device that had a main piece that was a rectangle that fit between our labia. It had a horizontal slot that our studs fit through. The studs that fit our labia piecings. And it had a vertical slot that a urethra plug and catheter fit into.

A dildo or butt plug with a n arm could also be secured. A clitoral head cover with a "pee hole" was hinged on the inside and covered the stud ends a small lock or a wire tie could be fit through a hole and loc the device. We wore them out and about, including at work. We always used ties so they could be removed in an emergency, but we never did,

One never knows what kinky thing others are doing.

 

[Primalex]

Paul -- he is quite handy, an artist in metal actually -- made us both these little devices. He patterned them off something we saw in an old French film. A chastity device that had a main piece that was a rectangle that fit between our labia. It had a horizontal slot that our studs fit through. The studs that fit our labia piecings. And it had a vertical slot that a urethra plug and catheter fit into.

A dildo or butt plug with a n arm could also be secured. A clitoral head cover with a "pee hole" was hinged on the inside and covered the stud ends a small lock or a wire tie could be fit through a hole and loc the device. We wore them out and about, including at work. We always used ties so they could be removed in an emergency, but we never did,

Thank you for agreeing with me. This obviously is not a "leather chastity belt with a suitcase lock" but a custom-made medical device which even requires body modification.

 

[Jamie_and_Lisa]

We interpret the OP to mean 'leather or suede panties with a lock on the waistband". Sort of an entry level device that is mostly symbolic, but fun.