Is there ever a reason...

[Desert Amazon]

 

[koalabear]

That justifies being a liar?
I just can't figure out for the life of me what one stands to gain.

You've never been to your Mother-in-laws for dinner have you?

 

[SleepingWarrior]

Well one of the only ways I can think of to be justified in lying is if your working on something of national/international importance.

 

[Guest]

DA,

I just don't know. I wish this was a black and white issue. When you are the one hurt by dishonesty, it is difficult to justify lies. I think, most folks, have warranted and excused the need to lie. I hate to think anyone would, purposefully, hurt another.

 

[WaterLily]

Lies are always hurtful no matter what kind they are. Eventually, the truth will find its way to you and when that happens it's even more crushing.

As I've seen more of the world, due to becoming more mature and having things happen in my life, I've often wondered if the person who lies is lying more to themselves to cover up how they truly are rather than actually lying to the other person. Did that make sense?

I would hope that the person who lies will come to realize just how many people they hurt. Although, they usually will remain like this for the rest of their lives, but it's hopeful that one day they will learn how dishonest they are.

 

[YogiBare]

Survival, especially in the face of persecution.

 

[DevilBoy79]

no real reason for lying i guess, unless your desperate, about not having to deal with your fathers new wife , ugh cant stand her

 

[Southern37]

That justifies being a liar?

Apparently you aren't married.

 

[Tantanah]

When we (anyone of us) lie it's usually because we're selfish and only thinking about ourselves.

 

[lavender]

 

[J.B.]

I don't know ...

I mean if it's a matter of not telling the ruth to do something drastic say... saving someone from .... I don't know something major ... dieing maybe (how I don't know, just go with me here) then sure I guess there's a justifiable(sp?) reason..

But if it's just petty constant lies... then no. In that case it's just a convenient escape... Why anyone would want to be percieved as a liar, I'll never know.

And if someone has lied to you & hurt you then you don't need to be around that type of person...

 

[sunstruck]

Re: Re: Is there ever a reason...

You've never been to your Mother-in-laws for dinner have you?

Exactly.

I never outright lie, but I'll sit on the truth if I know it will only cause trouble. And if faced with a blunt question who's answer is only going to hurt someone for no reason whatsoever.....let's put it this way, I've lied to my in-laws repeatedly because the truth would only cause riffs and discomfort and make my husbands life hell. They're happy thinking I'm someone I'm not, and I don't particularly care and he's stress free. So who's losing there?

 

[Hamletmaschine]

That justifies being a liar?

I suspect that all lies are justified--or at least rationalized--by those who tell them. Perhaps you're referring to a particular liar or kind of lie which may be unjustifiable to you or even to most people? But I think it is a stretch to say that all lies are unjustifiable and ultimately harmful.

 

[cymbidia]

Anyone who says they never lie about anything is...a liar.

We all do it, even if they're small "harmless" white lies along the lines of, "Oh hello, Mrs. OldNextDoorNeightbor! I've been meaning to come over for a nice long visit for weeks now! Maybe next Tuesday?"

At just barely 11 years old, my daughter was just out of the hospital where she'd come very close to dying of anorexia-related stuff. But she was out, and alive, and seeing all the different kinds of docs in the world. She was slated to begin her 6th grade school year, too, a few weeks after the other kids and a new school to boot - but she was gonna begin. At this school, she would have to wear a backpack that held a quiet but still audible pump, a device that automatically pumped liquid food through the tube going into one of her nostrils and down into her intestines. She still wouldn't eat, not enough, not the right kind of stuff, for any of us to consider allowing her off the pump. She looked like hell, too. She looked like a kid who, five weeks before, the docs had said might not live.

So i lied to her. Told her she was beautiful, that no one would really notice the pump after a few days, that no one would think she was weird for having it, that people would just accept her as she was.

I didn't know if those things were true - except that i knew she was beautiful, had always been beautiful, would always be beautiful, to me.


I also spent years lying to my soon-to-be-former-husband about where i was and who i was with because he wanted me to lie. He didn't want to know. He made it very clear, totally obvious, that he didn't want any details at all about anything i was doing on my own as long as it didn't inconvience him in any way. So i lied to him, too. We're divorcing because, essentially, i got tired of all the lying and couldn't -wouldn't- do it anymore.


Sometimes i lie to myself.
"You CAN'T do that! You'll never ever be able to do that! You're a total waste of skin!"


I don't lie to people maliciously. I don't try to hurt others and steal and rob them of stuff, of emotions, for my own gain and completely disregard thier needs.

But i do lie.
And so do you.
It's not always a terrible thing, that lying.

The relationships we have with other people in life are so complex, so convoluted, so often unfathomable that we have a difficult time picking our way through and just trying to be a good person while doing it. Don't bash yourself about lying, if you're not doing it maliciously. There are far worse things to bash yourself over if you need that kinda pain for some reason.

 

[p_p_man]

Lying is an important part of our socially interactive development...

can you imagine if everyone told the truth?

"How do you look?" "Like the back end of a bus."

"Why was I late to work?" "Because I can't stand this poxy job
and your constant winging. You're lucky I came at all."

"Do you truly love me?" "Yes."

"Promise you won't cum in my mouth." "OK I promise."

 

[harleyhog]

cheer up and rent the movie"Liar Liar" with Jim Carrie. its funny,,,but a whole lot of truth in it

 

[Shaq]

There is a reason...

to do almost everything in the name of good at some point in time...steal, kill, lie....it all depends on the person tho...what may seem like a good time to do something that you feel is bad might not be a good enough time for another...what gets dangerous is when one start justifying everything one does as wrong in the name of good...

"The road to hell is paved on bricks of good intentions" Somename I can't remember

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I do ..

I have lied before and I know its because I was being selfish.

There have been times where I have been so busy with my every day things that if a friend calls and invites me some where, I will lie and say I have a lot of work to do , I am being selfish because all I want is to spend some time by myself.

I have also lied to some of my friends when I want to be alone with my man, I LOVE my friends and all but I never get to see him. So when he comes into town , I lie and say I am extremely busy & can not go out with them.

Why not just tell the truth , you ask. Well I don't want to hurt my friends' feelings but the main reason would be that I so dislike explaining myself to others ... yeah I am selfish.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Wolf_Song]

That justifies being a liar?






(No, I don't think to save someone's feelings warrants lying...not on a continuous basis.)



Initially I was going to start a thread on "What I Hate" (with that being liars, manipulators, cowards, spineless-rat-bastards, etc.). But then maybe there is a some remote possibility that justifies why one person would lie to another. I just can't figure out for the life of me what one stands to gain.

What your possibly looking for in an answer is the similiar to two types of relationships that seem prevelant in our society. True love as truth is fulfilling and meaningful, not just as a couple, but to of self and the world. Where as lies equal temporary convenience that leaves one empty in so many areas.. guiltily unfulfilled.

The reason I have seen mostly that people lie is out of fear, fearing to rock the proverbial boat. Finding it instead easier to put on a smile even when emotional turbulence is writhing within. As to alike with love.. though opposite, once getting over lying to world, others and especially self, then things truly get better.

Love and lies, some of the hardest things to deal with and learn about in life. Many find themselves lying as it seems the easier route.. but often find it isnt once the veils of deception are lifted. Truth is often the harder path, but it sure makes for a cleaner conscience, healing, and inner well being in the long run.

There are two types of liars.. those that live them and those that tell them randomly.

The ones that bother you and hurt most and are the creatures that live as liars. They only hurt themselves in the long run with most of them being unable to separate fact from fiction. They can hurt others to, but once time passes such is only a temporary hurt found out later when with those whom are truthful.

Its not what they gain, its what they lose by their own free choices. What is their loss is truly your gain in the long run, though like loneliness isnt easy to deal with.

Best things are found and enjoyed when we work at and are patient for them, especially in life and love.

" What goes around, comes around.. good and bad "

Hearts blessings and ( hugs )

 

[red_rose]

Some people think you would rather hear the lies than the truth. All that does is prolong the wait before the pain.

I think that says it best, for the most part.


And p_p_man.. You kill me.