Is there anyone here more into the D/s aspect as opposed to BDSM?

[shepixie69]

I'm new on the forum...I introduced myself on the new people thread.

I have always had the fantasy of being lovingly dominated, not really a pain slut...kind of like a Daddy/little girl relationship...
...and roleplay has a lot to do with that...

Even though I'm not very experienced...IRL...I'd just like to know if there are other women and men that have the same loving dominant fantasies as I do...

...not that the pain is a BAD thing in my opinion...YKINMK, I guess the saying goes. Not my kink... But it would be interesting to see how many different kinds of fantasies and kinks we have here...

Thank you for reading...

Always
pixie

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I'm new on the forum...I introduced myself on the new people thread.

I have always had the fantasy of being lovingly dominated, not really a pain slut...kind of like a Daddy/little girl relationship...
...and roleplay has a lot to do with that...

Even though I'm not very experienced...IRL...I'd just like to know if there are other women and men that have the same loving dominant fantasies as I do...

...not that the pain is a BAD thing in my opinion...YKINMK, I guess the saying goes. Not my kink... But it would be interesting to see how many different kinds of fantasies and kinks we have here...

Thank you for reading...

Always
pixie

Ok, shepixie, I'll bite. Your subject line is a little confusing, but I think I've got the general gist of what you're asking for. "Is there anyone here more into the D/s aspect as opposed to BDSM? might have been better stated as "Is there anyone here more into the D/s aspect as opposed to the S&M? You are more into the Dominance/submission and less about the Sadism and Masochism, right?

Well, now that we've got THAT cleared up, I think alot of new subs start out in just that very same place; it's like crawling before walking, and walking before you run. You don't expect to go ski a double black diamond the first time you put on skis, and most subs aren't full-on masochists or, for that matter, submissives the first time they begin dabbling in BDSM with a play partner.

I think that it's great that you have fantasies about what you want and and ideas about roleplay. Those are perfectly valid options in playpartner relationships, and even, eventually in a relationship with the one Dom who you may want to submit to on a full-time basis. And THEN, you may be surprised to find, that with that "loving Dominant" holding your leash, you'll go places you never dreamed possible, down paths you never though you'd go. The trick is, don't cut yourself off from the possibilities now, while you're fresh and new, and don't know jack. I remember when I was new and knew nothing. The list of hard limits was a mile long. Amazing how tiny it is today, in a loving Dominant's hands.

So, in answer to your original question? Yes, I am into D/s. I serve Him, and that service has opened the door for me to....

Possibilities.

~anelize

 

[shepixie69]

Interesting...

...I guess being a submissive, you have to find the One that you really trust to push and expand your limits...

Interesting thought. I have not found the One (Her or Him, I am bisexual),,, but...when I find that special Person, I would probably do (almost) anything for that Person (or try my hardest...for that is my nature)

Very cool

pixie

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

My lady Anelize what a superb reply, for myself I am not into giving pain but I am Dominant myself. Good luck to you Shepixie in your search
Bachlum Chaam

 

[FungiUg]

Well, there are a few of us (Tim included) who concentrate on the dominance and submission. I do include bondage play as well, with spanking, biting. But more sexually focussed than pain focussed.

So I think it's quite possible for you to find someone (or even several someones) compatible.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Well, there are a few of us (Tim included) who concentrate on the dominance and submission. I do include bondage play as well, with spanking, biting. But more sexually focussed than pain focussed.

So I think it's quite possible for you to find someone (or even several someones) compatible.

Oh yes my apologies I like the bondage too and good day to you Bruce I trust you are well?

 

[CherryPop22]

I am in the very same boat as you. I have yet to meet my DOM that doesn't want to inflict pain on me. I want it to be more of a Daddy/Daughter type thing. Like a very loving one that only time pain is inflicted is for punishment. HMMMMM maybe someday I'll find him.

 

[shepixie69]

I guess there is a difference between a Dominant and a Sadist. Though I think that Person can be both at the same time...but as far as that goes, I think domination and sadism are two different things. Some people are into one or the other, and some are into both.

pixie

 

[FungiUg]

Indeed. So it's just a matter of finding a dominant who isn't into inflicting pain.

Although again there are levels... you might find spanking is okay, for example, and I suspect almost all dominants would enjoy spanking a willing woman.

So, like all things, there's more to finding the right partner than just "oh, you're a Dom? You'll do!"

 

[shepixie69]

hehehe yup...you do have to be picky

especially online, if you plan on meeting offline

pixie

 

[s'lara]

D/s and S/M were absolutes. They were closely connected for me and there was no choice between the two ... each was as necessary as the other.

lara

 

[Pure]

I don't see anything kinky about a woman wanting a dominant male lover; it's in a thousand stories, Heathcliffe, the Sheik (of Araby), the Highwayman, Zorro, pirate heros in the old Errol Flynn movies. Dark eyed, stern, rough hands, giant cock and sensitive though tormented soul. Like Errol, a wee bit 'bent.'

Shepix has every right to search for a romantic ideal, but should expect that he put his pants on one leg at a time, like everyone else.

Men are entranced by the heartless vamp, the jezebel.

I agree with lara (I think) sexualized domination---as compared to the conquering actions of the brash dark romantic hero--- retains connections to sadism and masochism.** Historically, 'topping' and sadistic practices are primary, and domination is derivative and late.

J.


**There is a possible area of overlap, depending whether the romance has a relatively tame happy ending or whether the lady ends up in difficulties. Yet these difficulties are not usualy eroticized.

 

[curious_ cat]

Re: Interesting...

...I guess being a submissive, you have to find the One that you really trust to push and expand your limits...

Interesting thought. I have not found the One (Her or Him, I am bisexual),,, but...when I find that special Person, I would probably do (almost) anything for that Person (or try my hardest...for that is my nature)

Very cool

pixie

I think you've summed it up here. The challenge for some is not desiring it so much that they compromise their ideals in a mate just to experience the lifestyle.

cat

 

[cellis]

Thank you Anelize for such a good reply...

They are entertwined... Himself is always dominate and the D/s aspect of our relationship is always evident... but there are times when He is feeling particularly sadists and devious... it is not about being a pain slut.... it is about building on the foundation we have layed between the two of us...

We push each other to grow... As He pushes my limits, He grows within His own limits... There is a mutuality there between us...

Oh it is sweet....

 

[Croctden]

D/s vs. BDSM

Primarily I'm into control, but I enjoy giving pain too (tears are lovely). I'm always working towards a picture in my mind so control has to be the biggest.

As for bondage, I like cuffs, but I generally don't spend time finding different ways to tie someone up.

 

[ChainedEros]

I'm more into D/s. Bondage and S&M are appealing, but the dynamic between a Dominant man and submissive woman is much more exciting to me.

Perhaps, what I'm trying to say is that the relationship between the two people is more exciting to me than spankings, ropes, and whips.

 

[bunny bondage]

any idiot can hurt someone. it takes something special to make a D/s relationship. while i personally enjoy pain (not like being put in the oven or run over with a car, just spanking, waxplay, small stuff) i really am looking for that special someone with whom i can have the type of relationship you've described - loving, tender, Daddy/little girl type of thing. however, i do reccomend that you kiss a few frogs, as it were, before you decide you've found the one who does all this for you.

 

[Pure]

On the contrary: anyone can order ("boss") another around, esp. if the latter is of a yielding or 'aim to please' nature.

Inflicting pain, whose full effect is only realized when the mind is addressed-- that's an art (esp. when it's given the other is to survive and not be mained).

 

[bunny bondage]

On the contrary: anyone can order ("boss") another around, esp. if the latter is of a yielding or 'aim to please' nature.

Inflicting pain, whose full effect is only realized when the mind is addressed-- that's an art (esp. when it's given the other is to survive and not be mained).

when i say "make a D/s relationship" i mean just that - an actual give-and-take relationship which incorporates D/s. it's much more than just telling someone what to do.

as for hurting someone being an art, i won't disagree with you there, but perhaps the guy who hit my car leaving me with this huge nasty scar on my arm would have something to say.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

On the contrary: anyone can order ("boss") another around, esp. if the latter is of a yielding or 'aim to please' nature.

Inflicting pain, whose full effect is only realized when the mind is addressed-- that's an art (esp. when it's given the other is to survive and not be mained).

I would have to totally disagree, tis not a matter of bossing someone around, you need to (in my case) fulfill the ladies needs ,make her grow and blossom so she turns into that true beauty that is waiting to come out.

I am big and strong would be easy to beat seven bells out of her, but no doubt there is a true art to it, just because I care not to indulge in it does not mean I am some plastic dom
Bachlum Chaam

 

[Pure]

BC said

[re pure's statement that 'ordering around' is easy, and pain inflction, including a mental element, is not.]

//I would have to totally disagree, tis not a matter of bossing someone around, you need to (in my case) fulfill the ladies needs ,make her grow and blossom so she turns into that true beauty that is waiting to come out.

Sounds like you missed your calling as a humanistic psychotherapist.

I am big and strong would be easy to beat seven bells out of her, but no doubt there is a true art to it, just because I care not to indulge in it does not mean I am some plastic dom
Bachlum Chaam//

OK, I oversimplified in speaking in terms of 'ordering'; also relevant are directing, organizing, orchestrating, structuring, providing a safe space.

OTOH, as you well know, 'erotic sadism'--the kind that doesn't land you in jail, iow-- is a bit more (I think) than beating seven bells out of someone (whatever that means). There's a common distinction between a consensual erotic encounter and physical abuse or simple physical bully tactics.

J

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

is a bit more (I think) than beating seven bells out of someone (whatever that means).
J [/B]

Common pure. It's not like you've never heard of the word "euphemism".

Jeezus.

Sinking a bit low aren't we?

~anelize

 

[Quint]

Yeesh! Let's just say "there are mundane, unappealing, and easy ways of ordering someone around--the dumbed down version of D/s--and there are mundane, unappealing, and easy ways of hurting someone--the dumbed down version of SM." That's all everyone meant.

I take my SM as an offshoot of my D/s. He hurts me because he can, primarily. The pleasure is secondary to the mental thrill.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Pure it appears I hurt your feelings, would it make it better were I to apologise?

 

[Pure]

I see nothing person or upsetting in what you wrote, BC.

J.