Is There Any Way?

[WanderingWiccan]

Is there any way to get over the pain and hurt of losing the first person that you've ever truly loved when they've scarred you so badly that you're actually afraid to talk to new people completely? She and I tried to be friends and now I'm absolutely terrified to meet people in person because she hurt me again this weekend. I can't stand it. When I think about her and how much she still means it me it's hard to breathe and when I think about trying to meet new people (I already have social anxiety disorder) I nearly go into a panic attack. I had gotten better about being in crowds but I went to the mall today and nearly fell out I was hyperventilating so badly that I felt like I was dying.

I'm absolutely losing my mind and I'm not going back to therapy because I've nearly been hospitalized before because that's what every doctor in this area tries to do to everyone.

HELP!

 

[deliciously_naughty]

It is possible. Easier said than done, but the first and most important thing is to cut this person out of your life entirely. Then just worry about yourself. Take time...it took me about a year to get over my first serious love...and I had to be single for most of it in order to deal. Give yourself some slack...stay home 6 nights out of 7. Start slow...maybe just go to a movie on the 7th night...where you're in the same place as other people, but it's dark and they're going to leave you alone. Then build up to maybe a cvs, then a target, or somesuch. Until then, there's nothing wrong with a little online shopping to cope.

Also...there are some natural herbs you can take for anxiety without a perscription. Go to webmd to find out what they are and then you can buy them from cvs.

 

[sirhugs]

ditto everything DN said.

Do not even think about dating until you can look in the mirror and recognize that the failure of the relationship was not a judgment on you. This is not easy, but it is true.

Build up to attending social life with good friends. Thats what worked for me. After a while, I was dancing and fooling around at 'safe' occasions. This allowed me to courage to ask, and survive a 'no'. Several 'no's later, I got a 'yes'.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Oh, it's possible. I've been in love twice before my current sweetheart... that first one, his name was Dave... I loved him with every iota of my being. And one day he phoned me up, and with no warning said "I don't think I can tell you I love you anymore". But he didn't want to break up. He juts wanted to tell me that and continue on like nothing happened. He is the only person who has ever broken me. I went away for a little while, and I just contemplated... I kept him from my mind by keeping busy on other things, but at night I just prayed and thought, etc, about my life... and when I came back, I realized I didn't need him in my life anymore. And I broke up with him, no warning. I just woke up one day with complete peace, and knew it was right to be without him.

You are a spiritual person... I believe you will find that peace when it is right for you to be without this person in your life.

 

[WhisperHaven]

WW, I'm so sorry to hear about all your pain. I wish I could help.

I'd give you a great big hug if I could.