Is switching a thing?

[Maddiebugg86]

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not actually part of the group I’ve only just divulged around it.

In my marriage we’ve always been mildly D/s in the bedroom. In recent years I’ve asked to go further into the lifestyle. My husband was always hesitant. Which I found surprising since he has a very dominant personality in general. Recently he’s been very passive, and has even started asking for me to take over the role of Dominant in the bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable with this role. I’ve expressed this and tried to explain my side of it to which he replied that’s it’s just role play and I’m being selfish.

I truly don’t know much about this but it doesn’t feel like a role play to me. Am I wrong? Do relationships like this typically switch at times?

 

[FL30]

Maybe go to the BDSM forum to ask and get answers.

https://forum.literotica.com/forums/bdsm-talk.26/

 

[Saint_Ann]

Sometimes I like meat. Sometimes I like cake.

Meatcake.

 

[Plasmaball]

Yes. Why wouldn't there be?

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not actually part of the group I’ve only just divulged around it.

In my marriage we’ve always been mildly D/s in the bedroom. In recent years I’ve asked to go further into the lifestyle. My husband was always hesitant. Which I found surprising since he has a very dominant personality in general. Recently he’s been very passive, and has even started asking for me to take over the role of Dominant in the bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable with this role. I’ve expressed this and tried to explain my side of it to which he replied that’s it’s just role play and I’m being selfish.

I truly don’t know much about this but it doesn’t feel like a role play to me. Am I wrong? Do relationships like this typically switch at times?

I don’t think it’s “ just role play “. It’s a totally different mindset. Some people are a top/ dominant. Some are a bottom/ submissive. Many people either side can’t/ won’t ever switch. It’s just not in them. Not saying they are right or wrong. It’s how they are in the lifestyle.

 

[lc69hunter]

I am a switch. In most of my life, I am dominant. In the bedroom, probably 40 weekends out of the year, we were just husband and wife, enjoying sex like everybody else. I was lucky enough to find a woman who was also a switch, which meant she understood the dynamic. One weekend a month, one of us would be a bottom to the other. It feels good to give up control for 48 hours.

 

[Oshkosh60]

I understand your husband totally and encourage you to try to be a bit more flexible. I've always had to be the Dom. The one to initiate and orchestrate the evening....and all these years, even from my earliest fantasies I wanted to be the submissive. Not all of the time would I want the more passive role....but at least sometime. I have done everything short of begging my current partner to do something as vanilla as spank my ass a bit (not caning, nothing brutal and I wouldn't insist on doing her). But nothing doing. She wants the 100% Alpha male 100% of the time. Just once it would be nice to not be in charge, to let go. And no, everything in the relationship is really good....so I should not complain. But what pisses me off is that she has two daughters from a previous marriage who are in their mid twenties and who are into the whole 50 Shades thing. They didn't get that from their mother, that's for sure. And yes, they are totally off base and I would never go there. So give hubby a break and maybe give him the chance that I will never have to be the slave boy.

 

[Rob_Royale]

My wife wasn't initially a switch, but there were the occasional situations where she wanted a particular act. So it went from "would you ... umm ... mind going down on me?" to "you really should be on your knees about now" as she got more comfortable asking.
Also, you can work towards it simply by initiating it in an authoritative way. "My love. My pussy requires attention. Right now." As a guy I can tell you, this drives us right out of our collective minds.
We all want something, sexually speaking. Be more assertive in asking/demanding what you want. It will perhaps progress to being more dominant.

 

[Jade_pleasureseeker]

My wife wasn't initially a switch, but there were the occasional situations where she wanted a particular act. So it went from "would you ... umm ... mind going down on me?" to "you really should be on your knees about now" as she got more comfortable asking.
Also, you can work towards it simply by initiating it in an authoritative way. "My love. My pussy requires attention. Right now." As a guy I can tell you, this drives us right out of our collective minds.
We all want something, sexually speaking. Be more assertive in asking/demanding what you want. It will perhaps progress to being more dominant.

I may quote you word for word… I love that line

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I believe my late husband was wanting to be more submissive than he expressed... I wanted a man to dominate me, but he wasn't that type...
He would say that it turned him on when I initiated the sex, whereas I wanted him to initiate...
This went on for 25 years.
They're were times that we fooled around and I had fun riding him, calling him my bitch... But this was before I knew there was a term called switch.

Edited to add:
My late husband was a very manly type man outside of the bedroom. He was a mechanic, a jack of all trades. So, one would maybe assume he was the more dominant in the relationship... No.
Sometimes, the Dom IRL wants a release from control. So you're his safe place to relinquish that power exchange.

 

[live4thebj]

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not actually part of the group I’ve only just divulged around it.

In my marriage we’ve always been mildly D/s in the bedroom. In recent years I’ve asked to go further into the lifestyle. My husband was always hesitant. Which I found surprising since he has a very dominant personality in general. Recently he’s been very passive, and has even started asking for me to take over the role of Dominant in the bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable with this role. I’ve expressed this and tried to explain my side of it to which he replied that’s it’s just role play and I’m being selfish.

I truly don’t know much about this but it doesn’t feel like a role play to me. Am I wrong? Do relationships like this typically switch at times?

Don’t let him change who you are. If you are a submissive then be that. If he isn’t controlling you enough find someone that will.

 

[creative1772]

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not actually part of the group I’ve only just divulged around it.

In my marriage we’ve always been mildly D/s in the bedroom. In recent years I’ve asked to go further into the lifestyle. My husband was always hesitant. Which I found surprising since he has a very dominant personality in general. Recently he’s been very passive, and has even started asking for me to take over the role of Dominant in the bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable with this role. I’ve expressed this and tried to explain my side of it to which he replied that’s it’s just role play and I’m being selfish.

I truly don’t know much about this but it doesn’t feel like a role play to me. Am I wrong? Do relationships like this typically switch at times?

i was in a D/s relationship a while back... she was incredibly submissive and very eager to explore many things. i was happy to oblige her. i was definitely the dominant, and it came naturally to me. it did not feel like i was playing a role, it did not feel fake, but i was definitely doing it all for her. i did not take pleasure from spanking her or burning her with wax, but she was over the moon and i loved giving her what she wanted.

we talked about it, and concluded that even though she was the sub, she was really in charge. she guided our play, she set her own limits. i was just there to indulge her.

i began to realize in that in a way, i was more her servant than her dom. when i realized that it felt just as natural to hand her the whip as it did to whip her. luckily, she was just as eager to explore her dominant side as she was her submissive side.

in the end, i suppose we were both switches, but in truth it wasn't ever about the D/s relationship, it was always about helping each other explore our sexuality and desires and then being there to provide pleasure to each other.

we discussed it in depth but didn't really bother labelling it...