Is sharing wrong?

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Jun 10, 2007
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How do I get my wife to play in public or with other D/s couples? She is excited at the thought but is hesitant. How can I help her ease into going to clubs and scenes with me?
 
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Nevermind....the original post was a duplicate of another at first and i got bitchy.
 
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At least here, lots of folks go to sex clubs and public play spaces and just watch. Perhaps if there's no pressure or expectation to play, she might feel more comfortable?

:rose: Neon
 
CutieMouse said:
... I know I'm not, which means the odds of anyone getting me to change my mind on the subject is pretty much slim and zero. ;)
But I would like to try! :devil:

I'm such an exhibitionist... Especially with a pretty subject to work on and a pair of floggers in my hands... *wanders off smiling dreamily...*
 
CutieMouse said:
*chuckles*

(what is it with men and insurmountable odds...)
We believe we can mount anything! *LOL*

Uhhhhh... I mean we enjoy challenges!
 
I remember being so nervous the first time i did public play, possibly made worse by the fact i had not planned on it being my first time at a club and was being watched by a few people, however it went quiet well and the next time was easyer.. The best thing to do is as said above just attend and see what happends and get used to it munches are good too there are two that i atend regularly and both are great for meeting people and learning more about the scene..
 
sharing

I don't know if her issue is being uncomfortable in a more public setting doing things that might be considered more 'private' in a traditional sense in a public setting, or if she is worried she might somehow lose your trust and/or respect.

If it is that she is worried that no matter what you say about it being OK, that things might change afterwards, you have to persuade her that nothing will change between you and her. Some people are considerate and insecure that things may change (and sometimes they are right) when it comes to doing things with other people.
 
MilkinFarmGurl said:
How do I get my wife to play in public or with other D/s couples? She is excited at the thought but is hesitant. How can I help her ease into going to clubs and scenes with me?


I would suggest taking her to a munch group first. Just so she can see that the people who attend are just like ya'll. Once she gets to know the people who will be in attendance, I think she will loosen up and enjoy herself - as opposed to her going in "cold" and feeling uncomfortable while there.
 
I agree that attending a munch is a great way to show her that people into BDSM are friendly and accepting. After that perhaps attending some sort of fetish event. I just went to SELF (South East Leather Festival) and had a blast. There were all sort of people there. I went to classes on flogging and cutting and drooled over lots of lovely implements in the vendors arena. That night there was a dungeon being set up where lots of people were going to be playing. I didn't get to stay for that. :( I haven't played in public yet, but it is something on our to-do-list for sure. Do you have a public dungeon where you live?
 
thank you HIS pita and Lunarkitten. I know where they have a munch the first sunday of the month. I will try to get her there first.
 
Everyone has their own level of comfort and what makes them comfortable. My slave for example doesn't mind playing in public but likes to pretend that others aren't there as much as she can. Even with blindfolds and all that she has a very different experience in public to the sort of deep calm she enters into when we play in private so there will need to be a lot of communication about how your play partner feels about the play itself in public versus the simply being in public.

According to lunar its hard to get into a zen sub space when fifteen feet away two tops are bringing out boat oars to try to get this little girl pain slut to cry red who is pretty much mocking them. Funny as hell though.
 
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