Is sex addiction such a bad thing?

[waynefar]

I guess I've always been a sex addict, my mother is to blame for that and Ive never been worried about it. I've just owned it and accepted that it's part of who I am.

But recently my wife had been seeing a shrink about her massive increase in sexual appetite. She had diagnosed sexism addiction and possibly psychotic hypersexuality.

We are both in our late 50s and from an almost non existent sex drive, after discovering our mutual watersports fetish about three years ago, her desire for sex has ramped up fromjust us having sex more often, to swinging, gangbangs and frequent masterbation, porn, fisting and large insertions, dp etc.

A few months ago we advertised for a young man to join us in a mom/son fantasy. He has now moved in with us and between us, she us fucked at least twice every day, often a lot more if we are up to it.

When we are at work, she sexts us constantly, she thinks about nothing but sex.

I'm loving all this, a lot, I am constantly turned on, but she is obviously shocking herself.

Should I be worried? I want her to be mentally healthy, but I don't want this to stop.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

As I understand it, Sex Adiction aka Hypersexuality Disorder aka Compulsive Sexual Behavior is a hot topic in current psychology, with the APA having changed course on the subject repeatedly in the drafting of the various edition's of the DSM.

Generally, however, repeated or compulsive behaviors are labeled as a pathology only if there is clinically significant personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these behaviors. Is your wife experiencing such personal distress or impairment? If not, then she should relax and enjoy it. If so, she should find a way to make it fit comfortably into her life.

I should note that about the time I turned 50, I experienced an increase in an already healthy libido. I don't let it interfere with my professional life, but it is the centerpiece of my personal and social life, and I would not have it any other way.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

'Sex addiction.'

Here is another fucking piece of bullshit from the pretenders who claim to be academics from academia.

You have to be fucking kidding.

But no - this is what insanity is, you see; people who believe stuff that is utterly utterly stupid and lacking in any basis of reality whatsoever.

 

[sub2femdom]

I'm pretty sure sex addiction is a real thing.

I'm pretty sure I am an addict.

It's one thing to dress up like a gurl and go to sex parties, which doesn't really affect my life negatively, however, I spend hours at a time on the computer, alone, looking at pics, videos, this forum, etc.. and often times my day to day responsibilities get pushed into the next day, or are rushed very haphazardly.

I recognize this in myself and try to invoke a 'work before play' mentality, but sometimes if I'm horny enough, even my job can take a back seat (have shown up late to work many times because I was too busy surfing porn in the morning to get ready in time).

Now, my job is super flexible, so there's no serious repercussions, but at the same time, it hasn't done me any favors either.

I've always been of the mindset that I'm not going to lie to myself to justify my behaviors, and just own up to my fetishes and addictions - as best I can while remaining in the closet, but there's no way I can honestly say that sex addiction isn't real or doesn't affect my life. It sure as hell does.

 

[Justfantasies]

I should note that about the time I turned 50, I experienced an increase in an already healthy libido. I don't let it interfere with my professional life, but it is the centerpiece of my personal and social life, and I would not have it any other way.

Making the enjoyment of sex, perhaps with multiple partners seems like a very healthy thing to me. The real danger is with doctors and spouses who want to cure our natural libidos

L

 

[Crownvic]

I guess I've always been a sex addict, my mother is to blame for that and Ive never been worried about it. I've just owned it and accepted that it's part of who I am.

But recently my wife had been seeing a shrink about her massive increase in sexual appetite. She had diagnosed sexism addiction and possibly psychotic hypersexuality.

We are both in our late 50s and from an almost non existent sex drive, after discovering our mutual watersports fetish about three years ago, her desire for sex has ramped up fromjust us having sex more often, to swinging, gangbangs and frequent masterbation, porn, fisting and large insertions, dp etc.

A few months ago we advertised for a young man to join us in a mom/son fantasy. He has now moved in with us and between us, she us fucked at least twice every day, often a lot more if we are up to it.

When we are at work, she sexts us constantly, she thinks about nothing but sex.

I'm loving all this, a lot, I am constantly turned on, but she is obviously shocking herself.

Should I be worried? I want her to be mentally healthy, but I don't want this to stop.

It’s good for the mind and body....

 

[jkillfeather]

……………………………………………….

 

[30bandits]

poor guy...

 

[CuttingEdge]

I'm pretty sure sex addiction is a real thing.

I'm pretty sure I am an addict.

It's one thing to dress up like a gurl and go to sex parties, which doesn't really affect my life negatively, however, I spend hours at a time on the computer, alone, looking at pics, videos, this forum, etc.. and often times my day to day responsibilities get pushed into the next day, or are rushed very haphazardly.

I recognize this in myself and try to invoke a 'work before play' mentality, but sometimes if I'm horny enough, even my job can take a back seat (have shown up late to work many times because I was too busy surfing porn in the morning to get ready in time).

Now, my job is super flexible, so there's no serious repercussions, but at the same time, it hasn't done me any favors either.

I've always been of the mindset that I'm not going to lie to myself to justify my behaviors, and just own up to my fetishes and addictions - as best I can while remaining in the closet, but there's no way I can honestly say that sex addiction isn't real or doesn't affect my life. It sure as hell does.

Very well put. I think you are getting few responses because it strikes a deep cord with man, many people...yes including me.

 

[screwher]

I think we're all naturally wired to be sex addicts, more or less. We all get "horny". At some point in our lives we all want to feel that deep connection with another person that sex provides. And Of course, it's a hell of a lot of fun!

It's when sex and sexuality consumes most of your time and energy. To which you can't function on a day to day basis - time with family and friends, other hobbies and interest, hold down a job, etc. That's when it's an issue.

 

[ericrodman101]

If any interest stops you functioning normally then it's an addiction and needs to be dealt with. Some people like trainspotting. Good luck to them. But do they trainspot instead of working? Sex addiction is not liking and having lots of sex. That's like food or oxygen addiction. If you and your wife have a young guy living with you and everyone is getting what they want, you are lucky fucks.

 

[waynefar]

If any interest stops you functioning normally then it's an addiction and needs to be dealt with. Some people like trainspotting. Good luck to them. But do they trainspot instead of working? Sex addiction is not liking and having lots of sex. That's like food or oxygen addiction. If you and your wife have a young guy living with you and everyone is getting what they want, you are lucky fucks.

I do consider myself very lucky, but she obviously having done thoughts about it, even though thoroughly enjoying herself. The thing is, our lifestyle has gotten out and she is now apparently troubled by what people are saying/thinking.

I say fuck them.

 

[klippert]

I guess I've always been a sex addict, my mother is to blame for that and Ive never been worried about it. I've just owned it and accepted that it's part of who I am.

But recently my wife had been seeing a shrink about her massive increase in sexual appetite. She had diagnosed sexism addiction and possibly psychotic hypersexuality.

We are both in our late 50s and from an almost non existent sex drive, after discovering our mutual watersports fetish about three years ago, her desire for sex has ramped up fromjust us having sex more often, to swinging, gangbangs and frequent masterbation, porn, fisting and large insertions, dp etc.

A few months ago we advertised for a young man to join us in a mom/son fantasy. He has now moved in with us and between us, she us fucked at least twice every day, often a lot more if we are up to it.

When we are at work, she sexts us constantly, she thinks about nothing but sex.

I'm loving all this, a lot, I am constantly turned on, but she is obviously shocking herself.

Should I be worried? I want her to be mentally healthy, but I don't want this to stop.

any addiction is a bad think...

 

[Nezhul]

Any addiction is by default is a bad thing. Why? Because for something to be considered an addiction, this thing needs to have a significant negative impact on other areas of your life, such as social interactions, work, health or something else. That's when something can be called an addiction.

If you simply love sex a lot and want to have it every day - then it can't be said that you are addicted to it. This could be describes as a passion, not really as addiction.

So yeah. If you do have negative effects on other areas of your life - then whatever you do is clearly not a good thing, and some kind of balance should be achieved. But if not - then how the hell can anyone say it's bad for you?

 

[PWilton]

I guess I've always been a sex addict, my mother is to blame for that and Ive never been worried about it. I've just owned it and accepted that it's part of who I am.

But recently my wife had been seeing a shrink about her massive increase in sexual appetite. She had diagnosed sexism addiction and possibly psychotic hypersexuality.

We are both in our late 50s and from an almost non existent sex drive, after discovering our mutual watersports fetish about three years ago, her desire for sex has ramped up fromjust us having sex more often, to swinging, gangbangs and frequent masterbation, porn, fisting and large insertions, dp etc.

A few months ago we advertised for a young man to join us in a mom/son fantasy. He has now moved in with us and between us, she us fucked at least twice every day, often a lot more if we are up to it.

When we are at work, she sexts us constantly, she thinks about nothing but sex.

I'm loving all this, a lot, I am constantly turned on, but she is obviously shocking herself.

Should I be worried? I want her to be mentally healthy, but I don't want this to stop.

I am not one to judge, having become hypersexualized myself in the last few years. But I do wonder if it would not clarify things for both of you if you were to have joint counselling over these matters. It seems to me that, if there is a problem, it belongs to both of you.

 

[PWilton]

I should note that about the time I turned 50, I experienced an increase in an already healthy libido. I don't let it interfere with my professional life, but it is the centerpiece of my personal and social life, and I would not have it any other way.

To EJ: Probably off the topic a bit...but I identify with your comment about your libido having become the "centerpiece of my personal and social life, and I would not have it any other way." Lit and (formerly) Tumblr and other resources are a constant and welcome part of my life. Having 'discovered' this about myself, I am reveling in it. Concupiscence has added color and vivacity to an otherwise drab and pallid sexual component of my own being. Here's to our centerpieces!

 

[liqueur]

Generally, repeated or compulsive behaviors are labeled as a pathology only if there is clinically significant personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning

There you have it, in a nutshell. The same basic principle applies to most "addictive" behaviors. If you enjoy it, and it's doing no harm to your personal or work life, then its nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, psychologists are often more subject to social pressures (to say nothing of pressures from the pharmaceutical and insurance industries) than they are to underlying principles. Hence, many things are pathologized that should never be.