Is it TRULY easier for a woman to be bisexual?

[Chris_Michael]

First of all, let's get to the elephant in the room. There is a social stigma on the heads of men who are worried about being labeled as homosexual. On the other hand, it's much more acceptable, if not encouraged, that a woman be bisexual or at least willing to try sex with another woman.

So, biologically and psychologically, is it easier? I guess I could have just Googled this, but I'd rather hear what women have to say here. (Men can answer too, obviously)

Also, that said, do you feel a bit of pressure to say you have had sex with a woman? Is there pressure to say that you enjoyed the experience?

You can add your own thoughts about the subject, as well.

 

[policywank]

I think the main difference is the social stigma attached to it for men.

And men and women alike apply this bias to non-heterosexual men. Women are just sometimes less overt with our intolerance or non-acceptance of bi men. But even women who present themselves as tolerant and accepting expect their man to be heterosexual through and through.

I've never felt pressure to say I have had sex with a woman or that I enjoyed it (though the answer is yes and yes).

 

[jehoram]

I think the main difference is the social stigma attached to it for men.

That could be true. I remember reading somewhere that while Queen Victoria instigated the laws that banned homosexual behavior for men, she didn't include Lesbianism because she simply couldn't conceive of that happening.

When boys want to dis another boy, they call him a "fag." Do girls call other girls "lesbos" to humiliate them?

 

[policywank]

That could be true. I remember reading somewhere that while Queen Victoria instigated the laws that banned homosexual behavior for men, she didn't include Lesbianism because she simply couldn't conceive of that happening.

When boys want to dis another boy, they call him a "fag." Do girls call other girls "lesbos" to humiliate them?

Certainly not that I have heard.

With guys being gay or a "fag" is associated with being effeminate and therefore weak. The opposite apply the same for women although being a "dike" suggests a lack of femininity and I have heard that used as an insult.

 

[wsahtacrhon1]

......

 

[joe_doe907]

exactly!

yep totally agree with this. i think its practically expected for girls to have fooled around with other girls when they were younger but nobody would label them as lesbians yet if a guy experiments then he would more than likely be labelled as bisexual if not gay.

I agree! why is that??

 

[Hypoxia]

It depends on time and place. In some (sub)cultures folks are almost expected to fuck any likely candidate regardless of gender; or the anatomy of their liaison(s) generates no special concern. Some cultures acknowledge their intersex members. Contrawise, in recent USA past, bi men and women were looked down upon by their own queer communities for not being 'pure'.

The answer to the OP question is thus another question: Where and when?
_________________________

my LIT stuff

 

[flanneland]

Interesting topic. Women do respond to social clues much mores than men.

 

[stickygirl]

The posters above have nailed it, but I would suggest to the OP that it's overdue for the elephant to be dragged out and shot. Social stigmas are always referred to in vague third person - "that's just how it is" etc but actually it's each of our responsibilities to force change. Whenever we laugh at a homophobic joke, because we're embarrassed to stand out from the crowd or instantly be accused of being a fag, we are reinforcing that stigma. If you don't like the way things are then you can point to any number of brilliant homosexuals whose contribution to society has made the world better for everyone. Being critical of homophobic humour is a good place for any of us to make a difference.
*gets off soapbox*

 

[Dotarsojat1696]

Thoughts from a redneck on the ragged edge.

I think it is easier for women to be accepted as bi than it is for men. We as men are taught from an early age that sex with another man is wrong and real men have no attraction to other men. Historically this is garbage, Greeks, Romans, Persians; all these cultures have references to male bi sexuality. It wasn't until religion was introduced that the wheels came off and these acts were deemed WRONG and unmanly. It has become so ingrained in society that to be a male bisexual is to be less of a man that it is hard admit or come out as a bisexual without dealing with blow back form ones peers .
At one time bisexual women shared the same stigma but that began to ebb as men became turned on by the thought or act of two women together.
Understand, I am speaking from observations in my own small redneck world; a world in which I have witnessed these attitudes change in the last 40 years or so. First I saw the stigma of female bisexuality lessen until it is almost expected that at some point women will in fact experiment and that it is ok to do so. I remember a time when guys who were thought to be gay were ridiculed and assaulted on a regular basis. Now that is not the case or should I say it is less the case. I am sure that sort of thing still happens but it is not the general rule any longer, but it is not the norm.
So, although I believe in this day and time it is easier for women to be bi and out than men; I can see a time when this won't be the case and both sexes can freely partake in their own desires.
Are we, as a society, advancing or declining? That depends on your personal view and I leave that up to you.

 

[Samday]

Hi Wsahtacrhon1: isn't it generally accepted that both boys and girls experiment in the early (ish) stages with the same sex - thinking of all boys and all girls schools here?
Sam

 

[sterculius]

Although social standards were even more stringent when I was a youth, I never thought of myself as "gay" or "queer" even though I loved diving daily blowjobs to my best friend, and being "used" by him was such a tremendous turn-on! He always wanted me to let him tell our other friends that I was blowing him and to include them in our regular sessions, but although the idea excited me, I was afraid of it becoming known that I was the neighborhood cocksucker. That they would look upon me as being homosexual even though I regularly lusted after girls and the only thing I liked doing with other guys was sucking cock. I had never even heard of the term "bisexual".

 

[littlegrizz02]

Although social standards were even more stringent when I was a youth, I never thought of myself as "gay" or "queer" even though I loved diving daily blowjobs to my best friend, and being "used" by him was such a tremendous turn-on! He always wanted me to let him tell our other friends that I was blowing him and to include them in our regular sessions, but although the idea excited me, I was afraid of it becoming known that I was the neighborhood cocksucker. That they would look upon me as being homosexual even though I regularly lusted after girls and the only thing I liked doing with other guys was sucking cock. I had never even heard of the term "bisexual".

I love this..........I SOOOOOOOOOOO Wanted a friend I blew regularly and wanted him to tell our other friends but I never sucked a cock but I dream of it daily.

 

[J1biboi]

Just my opinion

Everyone is born bisexual, it is our early environment that causes us to remain bisexual, become homosexual or become straight.
While boys historically have been encouraged to be tough and strong, which does not lend itself to being intimate with people of the same sex. Girls on the other hand have historically been encouraged to be softer and more intimate with people of the same sex.
Therefore it is easier and more accepted for females to be bi than it is for males.

 

[sterculius]

I love this..........I SOOOOOOOOOOO Wanted a friend I blew regularly and wanted him to tell our other friends but I never sucked a cock but I dream of it daily.

I always assumed that he would eventually tell our friends that I was blowing him in spite of my refusal and then the choice of becoming everyone's cocksucker would be taken out of my hands. I used to jerk off imagining it, but he never did, Now I wish he had.

 

[suckonsimon]

Another reason altogether for it being harder for so many men to go this way: Anxiety about cock size. Bi-curious guys who are entirely comfortable with what they've got are far far more likely to take their curiosity further, while guys who can only just cope with a woman seeing that they are mister average like most of us are, - those dudes sadly have a self-esteem mountain to climb before they're ever gonna get a boner on with other blokes around. imho.

 

[stickygirl]

Everyone is born bisexual, it is our early environment that causes us to remain bisexual, become homosexual or become straight.
While boys historically have been encouraged to be tough and strong, which does not lend itself to being intimate with people of the same sex. Girls on the other hand have historically been encouraged to be softer and more intimate with people of the same sex.
Therefore it is easier and more accepted for females to be bi than it is for males.

Societal pressure probably does suppress the idea of bisexuality in men, but gay men are definitely not bi nor lesbians. It's accepted that sexuality is hard-wired into us: no amount of pressure/beating/conversion therapy/laws can stop people being gay or lesbian, even if individuals decide to suppress it.

I'm not sure that early age experiments are driven by availability: find another horny boy and bingo. Once they get older and realise girls are horny too, then the experiments get consigned to the bin. All the same I think older men often have a hankering for those early days.

 

[SquirtnBrat]

As a Bi female I would like to say "coming out" wasn't a walk in the park for me. Luckly I went to h.s in the early 2000s so society was more accepting. That didn't stop a friend's feminist mom from coming over to my house uninvited to preach for an hour about how I was taking women back 50yrs. She didn't want to leave until I admitted I was "just experimenting" and there was no such thing as "bisexual".
Nope. Wouldn't do it. I knew then I was attracted to the beauty of the woman form.
Years later, I am still hit with misconceptions. One man in particular heard a group of us ladies were planning a girls night out. He looked around the group pointing out how many of us were bi, a couple in a poly relationship and most of the other gals were single. He completely assumed we were planning an orgy and all of us "must have" slept together already. None of us corrected him but we still joke about having that orgy.
I think men like the idea of a bi-gal, not willing to put up with the realities of dating/marrying a bi gal though.
I wanted to share because I got the impression this thread was pointing out how "easy" for people to except the title of "bisexual" from a female. In my experience, that isn't the case. Almost 30 and I am still frustrated by my sexuality and explaining it out loud.

 

[JackOffer]

As a 63 year old bi guy married to a 62 year old bi woman and previously married to another bi woman I can honestly say it is easy for anyone to be bi. Try it, you'll love it. I raised two bi kids who are now adults, one married to a bi woman too.

 

[suckonsimon]

<snip> ... I wanted to share because I got the impression this thread was pointing out how "easy" for people to except the title of "bisexual" from a female. In my experience, that isn't the case. Almost 30 and I am still frustrated by my sexuality and explaining it out loud.

Thanks, Brat, for saying how it is like this. Respect. Big time.

 

[SquirtnBrat]

Thanks, Brat, for saying how it is like this. Respect. Big time.

Ty, Si!
I had a hard time typing that one out, me... the self-proclaimed open book...

 

[stickygirl]

Ty, Si!
I had a hard time typing that one out, me... the self-proclaimed open book...

Well I'm glad you did
I agree with you - I think the bi-male thing is more out there but any snarking amongst women tends to stay behind closed doors.
I think it's a generational thing too because, at least at the moment, my circle of friends are mostly LGBT and cool with things. Maybe the bigotry is something people grow into?

 

[wsahtacrhon1]

........

 

[coati]

Another reason altogether for it being harder for so many men to go this way: Anxiety about cock size. Bi-curious guys who are entirely comfortable with what they've got are far far more likely to take their curiosity further, while guys who can only just cope with a woman seeing that they are mister average like most of us are, - those dudes sadly have a self-esteem mountain to climb before they're ever gonna get a boner on with other blokes around. imho.

Simon,

I've never found this to be the case with bi men, and the only time I have even encountered this attitude about penis size is when I heard some gay men talking about someone who is a "size queen". All but one of my past male sex partners were average to small in cock size, but none of them had a problem with being sexual once it was clear that there was mutual interest. What really counts is the whole body/mind arousal thing between two consenting adults.

I've found that cock size is not a big issue among bi and bi-curious men. Usually the biggest barrier men have to overcome is homophobia and associated social conditioning, and I do think there tends to be more pressure on men than on women in this regard. The cock size thing is actually related to this social pressure of promoting a faulty definition of "manliness". Bi men are generally grateful for liberation from this pressure once they break through the homophobic barrier.

Also, I had an openly bi gf once who was flat-chested and somewhat awkward physically, but other women regularly appreciated her sensuality, as I did. Again, it is the arousal thing that counts, and she is so good at seeing into a person and using her instincts to appreciate and arouse another person.

Monogamy is another issue or barrier for married bi people (men and women), but that is another subject. I just wanted to give you my perspective on the cock size issue you raised.

Coati

 

[policywank]

I tend to believe that human sexuality is more complex than everyone being 100% hetero, 100% gay or 50/50. More likely we lean in one direction or another and identify as whatever we are closest to. To the extent we entertain bi-sexuality would then be a function of where we are on the spectrum and the degree to which we are open-minded enough to indulge the possibility that it isn't black and white.