Is it really possible to find something that is equal parts friendship and exploration?

[tallred34b]

I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.

Hello
My name is Pam. I am looking for just what you are describing. I sure hope that we can put together our puzzle

 

[ajc1025]

I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.

I was fortunate enough to have both - it was long distance, first as friends then it went passionately ballistic lasting for 4 years!!

 

[ajc1025]

Hello
My name is Pam. I am looking for just what you are describing. I sure hope that we can put together our puzzle

I like figuring out puzzles

 

[Landshark1]

I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.

This is the best post I’ve read here in Lit

 

[cutcrystal]

This is the best post I’ve read here in Lit

It sums up my experience.

A reality check.

Whilst such connections are possible, and I have experienced two... They are difficult to find in an ether in which people appear to have become lost to the slow burn deliciousness that I was fortunate to experience. The depth of intimacy and sharing of those two connections surpassed my previous long term relationships.

At a time after I had lost my partner of five years to breast cancer/COVID... Those connections saved my life.

I wish I had the formula for such magic. Alas, all I can say is that I poured my heart into in depth ads and two delightful mature women who had like needs at the same time answered...

Universe at work? Karma?

 

[NewStartQueen]

@cutcrystal my condolences for your loss.

In my experience, we shouldn't know the formula. Because no two humans are alike, and when you look for lightning in a bottle a second or third time using that same formula you are forcing the universe to provide something that may not be suitable for you at that moment in time. The same cake, made the same way, with the same ingredients, can taste entirely different depending on what you had in your mouth moments before.

So be your authentic self and put yourself out there. There may be another (either sent by the universe or karma) who has been hibernating, healing a broken heart or just rediscovering who they are after years lost in a tub of vanilla. Trust the universe and remain open. It may happen, and damn it's going to fun when it does.

 

[Paradox]

In my early days on Lit, I was lucky enough to find a connection like this. In the last few years, I've found a couple of people who have been great fun to talk to, but like you said, they disappear. It's nice to see at least a handful of people here who seem to have the same desire. Perhaps one or more connections may result.

Thanks, @cl_trail, for posting. I wish you and everyone else on this thread success in their search.

 

[cutcrystal]

When the Stars are aligned...

 

[Paradox]

Darn you @cl_trail, your post has made me all nostalgic.

 

[cl_trail]

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and words, everyone. I happen to be around today, if anyone is interested in talking. Please feel free to send a message.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I've done this myself for cheap thrills so often.

I don't know if it's possible, it's a very interesting concept. Actual FWBs who might still like each other.

 

[cl_trail]

Just bumping an old thread.

 

[Winchester3030]

I know how you feel it’s very difficult finding the right balance and knowing where to trust! Good luck in your search and if you find any extras there are others of us who are searching for the right friend

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

It's an awesome discussion!

I posted last September, about finding my someone...
It's been 9 months since we've been in each other's life... There's been a "few" ups and downs.. But he's still my person