Is it really possible to find something that is equal parts friendship and exploration?

cl_trail

Virgin
Joined
Jan 31, 2022
Posts
16
I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.
 
I have found the perfect combo of sexy, sensual, plus perfect friendship..

It started slow, he was looking for exactly what you are... And I was not.. At the time.
I told him to be himself, and the perfect woman for him will come along.
(Hehe..I did, in every way)

My advice is to be you. Not every woman wants the bad boy.
It sounds like you're willing to offer what some men can't.

Good luck🤞🏻
 
@cl_trail I know exactly what you mean. I was searching for a unicorn just like you are. I thought it was a dream and a fantasy on a fantasy site. Trust me when I say to follow @Ssbbw4u1974 advice. Be yourself, interact in threads and be ready because you may find her when and where you least expect it. Good luck to you and I truly hope you find your perfect match.
 
I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.
This, here, is it. That's it. So spot on. Just perfect. I hope you find the person you're looking for, because there have to be people in between the mindless chatter and the constant one-offs. I'd like to think there are. I'd like to think that I am not like that, myself. To have passion and patience is...that's what I look for too, in my way. All the best to you and I am super glad you posted.
 
This, here, is it. That's it. So spot on. Just perfect. I hope you find the person you're looking for, because there have to be people in between the mindless chatter and the constant one-offs. I'd like to think there are. I'd like to think that I am not like that, myself. To have passion and patience is...that's what I look for too, in my way. All the best to you and I am super glad you posted.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
 
You are welcome. You are going to find someone lovely. I don't put myself in the running because I am not emotionally available for anything right now. But I do want to thank you for illustrating exactly what I myself would look for if I were able to put myself out there.
It's all good. And honestly that vintage bridal photo is giving me some Turn of the Screw level willies anyway.

I kid.
 
It's all good. And honestly that vintage bridal photo is giving me some Turn of the Screw level willies anyway.

I kid.
It's meant to. It's antique, though. I think it's a daguerreotype? Anyway, I meant it genuinely. If I am not happy about what someone posts, I don't typically take my time to type on their thread. Best to you.
 
I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.
I feel the same way and enjoyed reading all this. I like this space to play and pass alone times but not finding quick one offs that exciting. Need some of the delicate complexities of a personality to create mental imagery that produces attraction. I guess. Idk this has made me think of it just now.

Thanks. Blessings
 
Enjoying this post because twice, at different times, I had just the sort of connection which cl_trail described, a year plus each time. Both through Lit.

And I have re-posted an earlier ad looking to connect again.

So cl_trail it is possible and it does happen.

CC
 
Good advice given above and yes it is possible…I have! Just be patient and perhaps expect to kiss a lot of frogs!
 
I am beginning to wonder the same thing. Things are so different than when I was here about ten years ago, those who want to get to know each other and attempt to "build" anything are either taken, in hiding, or close to non existent. I think we're all conditioned for 15 minutes of attention these days before boredom kicks in.
In the past week alone I was apparently mistaken for someone else and immediately dropped as I simply said that one day I would like to have a pic (this after talking a couple days). Also last week I was exchanging messages with another individual and again everything was pleasant, after a few days we both talked about our fantasies, the person I was talking with told me a fantasy of theirs and so I responded with one of my mine (which is pretty tame I might add) and poof ghosted. I know ghosting is gonna happen, it's how some play the game but the conditions on which these two conversations ended took me a min to wrap my head around.
I know I'm complaining to a degree but only for the purpose of illustrating what I believe to be a general attitude of users that are really not "committed" to making a connection.
I really didn't mean for this to turn into a rant so I'll end with a positive, yes what you are looking for is possible but with a rare breed. I'm going to keep searching and I wish you luck!
 
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I feel like maybe I'm searching for something that only exists as an abstract aspiration.

It feels like there are a lot of folks who are looking for the quick thrill. They have a lot of pent up sexual energy and need a release. I don't begrudge them for it. Heck, I've been in those shoes more times than I would care to admit. They'll write you an amazing first message. It'll seem like there's great chemistry. That first conversation will feel electric and reignite a side of you that you had written off as being permanently retired...and then...meh. The spark is lost, the messages become fewer and further between, and that's if they come at all.

And then there are also those who just seem to want friendship and idle chit chat. Again, no judgment here. I fully support that, if thats what you need. Of course sometimes it makes you scratch your head and wonder "ok...then why are you on THIS kind of site, of all places?"

But what if you dare to want both? Is that simply too much to ask? What if you want to find a genuine friend, sincere companionship, the kind of person who can completely brighten an otherwise ho hum day by sending you a few messages throughout the afternoon? And at the same time, it's the kind of friendship where you know you can explore any kind of sexual rabbit hole, any long repressed curiosity, without fear of judgment or ridicule...just pure, unadulterated openness and support.

That's the dream. I like to think of it as "the kind of intimate friendship that will make your toes curl."

I've almost given up on the idea that this is out there. Almost, but not quite...hence the posting of this message.

So if you're an intelligent woman who is also looking for that elusive combination of true friendship mixed with deep intimate exploration, then send me a message, and who knows...perhaps our puzzle pieces will fit together.
This right here. I have been looking for myself. It seems people like us are the "unicorns" of lit. We crave a true connection and every time we think we are on the right track it gets snatched again. I myself am on the verge of giving up and just resigning myself to the fact that what I'm looking for isn't out there. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and if you ever just want to chat and get it off your chest, I'm a great listener. :) I hope you find what you are looking for! I wish you the best.
 
This right here. I have been looking for myself. It seems people like us are the "unicorns" of lit. We crave a true connection and every time we think we are on the right track it gets snatched again. I myself am on the verge of giving up and just resigning myself to the fact that what I'm looking for isn't out there. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and if you ever just want to chat and get it off your chest, I'm a great listener. :) I hope you find what you are looking for! I wish you the best.
Agreed, always to tantalizingly close but then things always seem to crumble
 
I am beginning to wonder the same thing. Things are so different than when I was here about ten years ago, those who want to get to know each other and attempt to "build" anything are either taken, in hiding, or close to non existent. I think we're all conditioned for 15 minutes of attention these days before boredom kicks in.
In the past week alone I was apparently mistaken for someone else and immediately dropped as I simply said that one day I would like to have a pic (this after talking a couple days). Also last week I was exchanging messages with another individual and again everything was pleasant, after a few days we both talked about our fantasies, the person I was talking with told me a fantasy of theirs and so I responded with one of my mine (which is pretty tame I might add) and poof ghosted. I know ghosting is gonna happen, it's how some play the game but the conditions on which these two conversations ended took me a min to wrap my head around.
I know I'm complaining to a degree but only for the purpose of illustrating what I believe to be a general attitude of users that are really not "committed" to making a connection.
I really didn't mean for this to turn into a rant so I'll end with a positive, yes what you are looking for is possible but with a rare breed. I'm going to keep searching and I wish you luck!
I agree the proverbial needles in haystacks
CC
 
Right now I’m on the other side of one of those relationships you were looking for. It was truly amazing but the heartache I feel right now is brutal.
Have you heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi? It’s when potters fix broken pottery with molten gold. So everytime we put ourselves out there and have a heart break, we are building our hearts anew, with more gold. Each break filled with gold makes it stronger, more resilient and more valuable. So cry, grieve, wallow but then rise and admire your new heart glittering with gold. Hope that helps 💕
 
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Have you heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi? It’s when potters fix broken pottery with molten gold. So everytime we put ourselves out there and have a heart break, we are building our hearts anew, with more gold. Each break filled with gold makes it stronger, more resilient and more valuable. So cry, grieve, wallow but then rise and admire your new heart glittering with gold. Hope that helps 💕
Such a sweet reply, thank you
 
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