Is it correct?/Is there a better way?

[Sunadmire]

English is my second language after Afrikaans. Although I am not at a total loss in English, I do get my tenses mixed up and often expresses my thoughts in a clumsy manner. In recent writings I described the following and are looking for a better/more elegant way to accurately portray my meaning:
1. I referred to contractions of a woman's areola(e). I wanted to use 'areolic contractions' but couldn't confirm that 'areolic' was correct. There is something like 'areolic acid' (being an antibiotic - Mithramycin).
2. A guy had his arm around a woman's neck. His hand ended up on her breast. When I refer to this hand that started to play, do I refer to 'the hand around her neck started to play with her nipple'. The correct phrase would be more like 'the hand of the arm that was around her neck started to play with her nipple'. I believe this is a clumsy way of describing the action.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[SimonDoom]

1. I don't know what contractions of the areola are. I cannot picture that. If you want to describe them doing something, I would suggest trying to make it active, and focus on selecting a verb that describes them doing whatever they are doing. "Areolic contractions" is long, awkward, and not erotic.

2. With regard to the second, I'd suggest avoiding too many prepositional phrases and long sentences. Break it up: "His arm lay around her neck. His hand closed on her breast. His fingers played with her nipple." Avoid the verb "started." Just go right into the thing that's being done without "started." Use active verbs where you can.

 

[AlphaLyon]

A lot of this also comes down to writing style, so it will be interesting to see what others say.
Here are my thoughts.

1. I referred to contractions of a woman's areola(e). I wanted to use 'areolic contractions' but couldn't confirm that 'areolic' was correct.

While technically, I believe the reader would probably understand what you meant, it might be smoother to use a verb ("to contract", not to be confused with "to contract" ) with areola.

"He felt her areola contract against his fingertips."
- or -
"Her areola contracted at his touch."​

2. A guy had his arm around a woman's neck. His hand ended up on her breast. When I refer to this hand that started to play, do I refer to 'the hand around her neck started to play with her nipple'. The correct phrase would be more like 'the hand of the arm that was around her neck started to play with her nipple'. I believe this is a clumsy way of describing the action.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

In English, we tend to go from broad descriptor to smaller details, both with detailing actions or even when using adjectives.
Start with the action of the arm, move to the action of the hand, then to the finger, and it will be implied that it is all part of the same hand/arm that was mentioned. For example:

"He reached around her with his right arm, his hand upon her neck, before he lowered it down her chest and across to her left breast where he began to play with her nipple."​

Here we have two "big to small" examples:
1. his right arm, his (implied: right) hand, his fingers (implied: on his right hand)
2. her chest, her left breast, her (implied: left) nipple.

When it comes to adjectives, this general order might help:

Quantity or number
Quality or opinion
Size
Age
Shape
Color
Proper adjective (often nationality, other place of origin, or material)
Purpose or qualifier​

It's why "five golden rings" sounds correct, yet "golden five rings" doesn't.

 

[AlphaLyon]

2. With regard to the second, I'd suggest avoiding too many prepositional phrases and long sentences.

This reminds me of the writing advice I received regarding pacing a scene:
- if you want the "breathing" to be slow and languid, use longer sentences.
- if you want the action to be fast and percussive, use shorter sentences.

 

[Sunadmire]

I don't know what contractions of the areola are.

Do the simple experiment: Take an ice cube and swipe it over an areola (you may need a very cooperative and loving partner) and see what happens to the areola...

 

[SimonDoom]

This reminds me of the writing advice I received regarding pacing a scene:
- if you want the "breathing" to be slow and languid, use longer sentences.
- if you want the action to be fast and percussive, use shorter sentences.

There's something to be said for that.

I think it's good to mix up long sentences with short ones. That way, the short sentences pack extra punch.

So, regarding the example I gave, of three short sentences with the same structure one after another: I think that would only work if the sentences preceding them had a completely different structure. It would get tiresome if every sentence read the same way.