Is it appropriate...?

[carsonshepherd]

Would it be weird or creepy to contact someone on Facebook that I strongly suspect is the younger sister of a former good friend that I have lost touch with about 9 years ago? Not ex-anything, no falling out, we just stopped talking.

My friend legally changed her name to that of her partner, then she and the partner broke up, and I have no idea what name she goes by anymore. But I clearly remember her younger sister, and met her on a couple of occasions, though I'm sure she probably doesn't remember me because she was in her early teens at the time.

I'm really torn, I don't want to appear creepy or stalkerish, but I miss my friend.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

I'd contact her and make your intentions clear. Be like hey, This is my name, I think your the sister of a friend of mine and I'd really appriciate it if you'd help us get in touch. If you're not her sister, I'm sorry for the mix up.

Or something to that effect.

 

[Cleardiamond]

I'd contact her and make your intentions clear. Be like hey, This is my name, I think your the sister of a friend of mine and I'd really appriciate it if you'd help us get in touch. If you're not her sister, I'm sorry for the mix up.

Or something to that effect.

Yes, this would be acceptable..

 

[carsonshepherd]

I'd contact her and make your intentions clear. Be like hey, This is my name, I think your the sister of a friend of mine and I'd really appriciate it if you'd help us get in touch. If you're not her sister, I'm sorry for the mix up.

Or something to that effect.

Should I give details about myself that might prove that I know her sister? I'm almost sure it's her. Same hometown, and not a very common last name.

 

[Cleardiamond]

Should I give details about myself that might prove that I know her sister? I'm almost sure it's her. Same hometown, and not a very common last name.

Maybe a quick detail just to prove it as so. but I think if you make you intentions very clear you will have a positive response. you would from me, if that were the case. just saying

 

[carsonshepherd]

Maybe a quick detail just to prove it as so. but I think if you make you intentions very clear you will have a positive response. you would from me, if that were the case. just saying

She could choose whether to pass the info to my friend, as it were. And the friend could choose whether to do anything with it.

I'm very concerned about not seeming creepy. This girl is a lot younger than me... random message on Facebook from person claiming to know older sister...

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Should I give details about myself that might prove that I know her sister? I'm almost sure it's her. Same hometown, and not a very common last name.

Details are good yes.

 

[Cleardiamond]

She could choose whether to pass the info to my friend, as it were. And the friend could choose whether to do anything with it.

I'm very concerned about not seeming creepy. This girl is a lot younger than me... random message on Facebook from person claiming to know older sister...

OOOh. Yes.. I think it will be fine..

Dear ____,

I believe that you are the younger sister of ______ a very good friend I used to have in _____, I was really sad when your sister and I lost touch. I was wondering if you could put her in contact with me. Have her send a message if she wishes. ...

something like that

 

[carsonshepherd]

OOOh. Yes.. I think it will be fine..

Dear ____,

I believe that you are the younger sister of ______ a very good friend I used to have in _____, I was really sad when your sister and I lost touch. I was wondering if you could put her in contact with me. Have her send a message if she wishes. ...

something like that

Thank you, this is probably more common than I realize. Which is why I posted the question here, to get different perspectives... you make it seem easy!

I think I'll sleep on the wording. Best to never type anything on the internets late at night after you've had a few beers, innit?

 

[Belegon]

Best to never type anything on the internets late at night after you've had a few beers, innit?

Yeah, that tends to get me into trouble too.... *wink* Hi Carson.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Yeah, that tends to get me into trouble too.... *wink* Hi Carson.

Bel~! Wow, Hey! How are things?? I have missed you!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Well, I did it. We'll see how it goes.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There's nuthin creepier than middleclass angst; they stew & fret over everything thats not important.

 

[vrosej10]

There's nuthin creepier than middleclass angst; they stew & fret over everything thats not important.

Said by a man who takes every opportunity to remind everyone that he is middle class by taking pot shots at those he considers his social inferiors...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Said by a man who takes every opportunity to remind everyone that he is middle class by taking pot shots at those he considers his social inferiors...

Dear, the middleclass dont take potshots, not openly. The whole world is their closet.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I'm not ashamed of being middle class, my parents worked hard. Yet they managed to teach me basic rules of etiquette, such as being concerned about making others uncomfortable. Oh well.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm not ashamed of being middle class, my parents worked hard. Yet they managed to teach me basic rules of etiquette, such as being concerned about making others uncomfortable. Oh well.

And thats the hallmark of the middleclass; its their only conviction.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Said by a man who takes every opportunity to remind everyone that he is middle class by taking pot shots at those he considers his social inferiors...

He claims that he thinks they're inferior. He doth protest a hell of a lot, don't he?

 

[carsonshepherd]

He claims that he thinks they're inferior. He doth protest a hell of a lot, don't he?

I wouldn't know Hey Stella

 

[Stella_Omega]

I wouldn't know Hey Stella

SO good to see you!

Since joining facebook I have made contact with some really important people from my past, whom I thought were gone forever. Getting in touch with them has enriched my present life.

A few weeks ago, I started talking to the first guy I ever had sex with!

Last night I talked to a woman I hung out with in the early 80's, who, it turns out, has developed a thing for trans men. Her last three boyfriends were none of them born male. Heh.

 

[carsonshepherd]

SO good to see you!

Since joining facebook I have made contact with some really important people from my past, whom I thought were gone forever. Getting in touch with them has enriched my present life.

A few weeks ago, I started talking to the first guy I ever had sex with!

Last night I talked to a woman I hung out with in the early 80's, who, it turns out, has developed a thing for trans men. Her last three boyfriends were none of them born male. Heh.

That's cool that you've been able to find people you thought you'd never talk to again. That's what I'm trying to do. This woman is one of the people I have never been able to find, and I also hope she'll lead me to another one, if I can get her to talk to me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's cool that you've been able to find people you thought you'd never talk to again. That's what I'm trying to do. This woman is one of the people I have never been able to find, and I also hope she'll lead me to another one, if I can get her to talk to me.

Facebook has got to be one of the most successful networking tools ever.

 

[oggbashan]

Last year I was contacted by a woman who was the daughter of one of my father's work colleagues.

In the early 1960s I took her out a couple of times, mainly to relieve the family pressure from her father and mine. She was a pleasant companion, but we started on the wrong foot because her parents thought that her then boyfriend was unsuitable, and my parents thought that she would be a suitable girlfriend for me, away from home for the first time.

We went through the motions but our heart wasn't in it. She was obviously attached to someone else and she made it fairly clear that I wasn't a reasonable substitute. I don't think anyone would have been at that time because they were in love. A couple of times she used 'meeting me' as an excuse to meet him. I was willing to take her to a local coffee bar with her friends and he would 'accidentally' appear making me feel like a gooseberry. She and her friends were mainly horsey or sailing, or both, neither of which appealed to me at the time.

After a few months of infrequent meetings our relationship ended. I was surprised to be contacted by her after 50 odd-years but the on-line relationship was as doomed as the real life one. We had little in common then and less now. She had married her then boyfriend, with her parents' reluctant consent, and was now a grandmother several times over. The marriage had worked out despite her parents' concerns. There was no reason I could see in the 1960s why it shouldn't.

While I was in a steady (read boring as far as she was concerned) career, he was an Engineering student. At the time he was as broke as most students were in those days, but once qualified he was employed by a large company and progressed quickly.

When she contacted me, it was apparent that she really wanted to know "what if". After a couple of emails, we were both bored with each other. She had forgotten that the "what if" had never existed and she had used me. As far as I was concerned, we had gone through the motions of a friendship just to satisfy our respective parents even if neither of us was serious about the relationship.

But her older sister? That might have been different.

Og

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Carson, one simple message is not creepy. Dozens are. Don't worry about the creepy aspect.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Facebook has got to be one of the most successful networking tools ever.

not just successful but powerful! You can find almost anyone. I say almost, because people change their names and go by fake names on FB.